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He wakes up with a leg on his torso and a hand on his face and he wonders how did he manage to get so lucky, one incident changed his life for good. He thanks the gods for not letting things go the way he had wanted them to or else he would still be groveling and hiding.
Everything changed in Yeonjun's life a year ago. What was intended to be the most memorable days of his life turned out to be unforgettable in the worst way.
When Yeonjun was younger, he imagined his debut film with a well-known director, people calling him gorgeous, and people falling in love with him. Just how it goes about for a nepo kid. What he didn't expect was Choi Beomgyu to be his co-actor, freaking Choi Beomgyu. His high school best friend, university fuck buddy, and also the love of his life.
He will be honest he had kind of expected it, because they come from the same circle but he wasn't entirely certain it would happen, so he clung to the rope of hope, which slipped gently through his fingers as he watched everything crash.
Yeonjun's predicament isn't because he and Beomgyu used to fuck around, though that is one of the reasons he is concerned. Another reason is that he doesn't know how he will face Beomgyu again, three long years after leaving (dumping) him. He can't exactly dump his fuck buddy, (in his heart he had lost his soul partner, his one and only) but he did put an end to whatever the fuck they were up to when he was the one to start it, and in doing so, he pushed Beomgyu away from his life, leaving nothing but just memories of Beomgyu for himself to live with.
When he admits he says in this entire process he pissed Beomgyu off, it means he pissed him off big time. That very night, Beomgyu went home and blocked him on every single app, including Twitter, Mail, and Instagram, as well as his cat's account, like, what did Mandu do to you?
If he thought Beomgyu becoming his co-actor was the worst thing that could have happened to him, their company had much worse plans to wreck his sanity. Yeonjun receives an e-mail at 10 p.m. with the subject "important with red exclamations," he opens it, reads it, and then quite literally freezes. This was the most unexpected thing he could have imagined. What does his and his co-actor's dating life have to do with their stupid movie? How is it going to help literally anyone? Why is the entire industry so gamey? The whole thing was going to flop, his first movie was going to flop. Nothing ruins a nepo kid quite the way a debut flop does.
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Oh but how wrong was he. The minute the news went out, it was chaos. Every news article was about them. What in the world is wrong with people? How can they fall for these tricks all the damn times? Media literacy needs to be a mandated course for every person, the audience falls for the cheapest PR stunt and it's embarrassing.
The filming and everything went well enough, Beomgyu acting 'professionally' (he was just mad), Yeonjun trying not to take offence each time Beomgyu would wipe his mouth after their kiss scenes and blatantly ignoring him after the shooting and talking to the other actors instead, clinging to their arms, laughing at their jokes, and it did send a spark of jealousy running through him, it's unearned, he knows but he can’t really help what he feels.
Another thing he is well aware of is that Beomgyu would do anything to make Yeonjun angry; he used to enjoy doing it and still does. He'd do anything to show Yeonjun how foolish he was when he decided to be a jerk. So the whole fake dating plot doesn't sit well with Yeonjun because how is he expected to accomplish it without things going south again?
However, Beomgyu appears comfortable, which is causing havoc in Yeonjun's brain. Sure, he called off whatever the fuck they were doing and completely cut Beomgyu off, but he, too, can only take so much cold shoulder (what a moron). He despises how Beomgyu would talk to everyone except him off camera, he despises how Beomgyu would look at him with made-up emotions in his eyes, it's unnerving in so many ways because he desperately tries to read his emotions through his eyes but it's impossible to go past the layers and he can't help his brain when it thinks Beomgyu despises him. He has lied to himself so many times, on so many occasions, that Beomgyu must be mad at him but he doesn't hate him, the lies that he believed so easily are starting to feel a little too fake.
He recalls how hard it was for them to shoot the sex; they weren't really having sex, but it looked and felt authentic enough to fool the audience. He had kissed Beomgyu several times while filming, and each kiss reminded him of what he had chosen to leave behind rather than simply confessing; it was a terrible reminder, but the entire thing about that one moment was different. They were close, naked, chest to chest, and even though the sex wasn't actually sex, they were making out, and it was really passionate. Yeonjun doesn't know how to put it, but he wasn't faking it. He had no idea about Beomgyu, yet he wasn't acting; how could he act when it felt so real? Beomgyu lying underneath him, so pliant and jelly in his arms making nothing but pretty noises at every kiss, every bite and in that moment Yeonjun believed that Beomgyu wasn’t acting either.
He looked at Yeonjun with glossy and dilated pupils, quivering lips bitten raw with all the kissing, a pretty shade of pink dusting all over his face and neck, he looked so compliant, a porcelain doll carved delicately only for Yeonjun. If it wasn’t for the closeness Yeonjun would’ve never seen it, he would've never seen that Beomgyu’s eyes filled with tears, for the first time in days he was the Beomgyu Yeonjun knew, his eyes held emotions that were true, his eyes held longing and Yeonjun saw it. He heard Beomgyu whisper things which weren’t on the script, he heard the director yell CUT, the director told Beomgyu that the scene had no dialogues, he saw Beomgyu looking up at him with teary eyes, newfound vulnerability shining in them, as if he too is wondering why he said that.. Yeonjun on the other hand was drowning in guilt, he never knew one quick decision of his would leave both of them so apart, he never knew Beomgyu out of everyone would cry because of him, he never knew Beomgyu would say those words to him.. He recalls the look Beomgyu held in his eyes, when he weaved his fingers in Yeonjun’s hair pulling him face to face looking him in the eyes-
‘you hurt me so much’.
The fact that Yeonjun couldn’t see how bad he hurt Beomgyu unless the said man told him is killing him little by little and the fact that Beomgyu is back to acting like nothing happened makes everything even more tormenting. And the entire fake dating thing is just so……awkward. The most they do is hold hands and wave to the cameras, that’s it because the promotion periods haven’t started yet. Right, so about the Beomgyu getting on Yeonjun’s nerves fits right in the picture.
One thing about Beomgyu is that no matter how mad he is he would make sure that the other person who made him like that is on the receiving end, so Yeonjun is on the receiving end and it’s harsher for him because Beomgyu knows exactly what strings to pull, and he damn well knows Yeonjun regrets making that decision so he does everything to rub it in his face.
Not one time, not two time but numerous times Beomgyu had in purpose done things to get on Yeonjun's nerve the final straw was when he decided it would be funny when he said he would definitely date Lee Heeseung as he's the closest to his type and always pays attention to me, he said all that while looking right in Yeonjun's eyes and all his manager could do was nod his head and remind him not to say any of that infront of the cameras, just like everything those words too hit home and Yeonjun could no more hold it in.
He has no idea how he gathered the courage but he did ask Beomgyu to meet him in his room which the latter denied so Yeonjun decided to barge into his room instead. He remembers looking at Beomgyu and asking him if it's funny for him, he felt his eye twitch when Beomgyu just grinned at him but before he could say anything Beomgyu reminded him- 'you don't get to be mad, not after everything you have done' and it was there again, the same longing in his eyes, the same vulnerability but something else too… something akin to success, happiness and it's only now that Yeonjun is able to decipher what it was. Beomgyu was waiting for Yeonjun to give in, to make his move.
Yeonjun doesn't get to be mad, he wasn't mad to begin with, he just wanted to make things right, one way or the other. Even if he has to beg for forgiveness he would. He did.
That night he told Beomgyu everything, he told him how much he loved him, he told him how hard it was for him to be just friends with benefits, he told him everything and Beomgyu in turn heard to each one of them, he yelled at him, told him how stupid he was to not see the signals Beomgyu sent to him, he told him how the fuck buddies thing was nothing but an excuse to get closer with him and Yeonjun found out that it was Beomgyu who fell in love first and Yeonjun was indeed hurting him all this while.
A chance can mean so much to different people to Yeonjun it meant taking that breath he was holding for god knows how long. He was pretty sure he had messed up badly but a little courage hurt no one. Beomgyu gave him that one chance, and Yeonjun couldn't be happier.
That brings them to the present setting, Beomgyu's hand on his face, leg on his torso while he slept peacefully and sure it's a nuisance but he won't change it.