Archive of Our Own

Eddie Munson was used to being a freak. He was used to not being normal, had started to love it a couple years back, had even embraced it. Now he wishes for nothing more than to be a regular, boring, stupid, unknowing kid.

Vecna had been hell. Vecna was over. But Vecna won’t let Eddie go. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees Chrissy Cunningham. How every single one of her bones, even the tiny ones in her fingers and toes, cracked and snapped right before his eyes. He remembers the sound her eyes made when they popped and remembers the smell of gore and feces when she fell to the ground, heavier than a potato sack.

The first night after it’s over is the worst. They have defeated Vecna, barely made it, but they were successful and are now celebrating it in their own weird and traumatized way. They’re in Hopper’s cabin (who is alive and was being held prisoner by the Russians, apparently). It is horribly cramped, and the air is stuffy, but Eddie embraces it after the cold and emptiness of the Upside Down. They are eating Eggos, the telekinetic girl, El, insisted on it. She has the right to do that, Eddie thinks. She saved them, after all.

Nibbling on his waffle, Eddie glances around the room. Nancy and Jonathan, huddled in an armchair, Max and Lucas sitting on the floor by the window. Mike, El, Will, and Dustin, quietly whispering about something. Joyce and Hopper, sitting on the couch, seemingly just enjoying the silence and each other’s company. And then there’s Robin and Steve. They’re holding hands, or at least Eddie thinks they are. He understands. Robin nearly died, Steve nearly died too. Hell, they all nearly died. Looking at them, Eddie feels something stir deep in his chest. He is jealous. He wishes, he had someone to hold his hand right now.

Steve turns his head. Their eyes meet and for some reason Eddie doesn’t look away. Doesn’t mind that he was just caught staring at the pair. He briefly wonders if they’re together, in love even, but quickly remembers the way Robin looks at that band kid Vickie and the way she doesn’t look at Steve and understands, that he’s probably wrong. He had noticed Robin before. And of course he had noticed Steve. Who hadn’t noticed King Steve? The eye contact with said Steve still hasn’t stopped. Eddie finds it comforting, finds it calming and reassuring. He isn’t alone in this horrible, horrible world. There is at least one other person with him. And even if that person is King Steve, who surprisingly turned out to be a very decent person, Eddie is content with not being alone.

The first to break eye contact is Steve. Eddie’s fine with that, he has every right to do so. He leans back against the wall, takes another bite of his barely touched Eggo and closes his eyes. Eddie is fine and he is sort of content. Until he isn’t. Until the images come back into his head. He quickly opens his eyes, breath hitching, eyes darting around the room in a panic, making sure everyone is still there, still alive, still safe. Suddenly the quiet stuffiness of the cabin is too much. He needs to get up, needs to get fresh air, needs to leave. And so he does. Standing up and rapidly walking towards the door, exiting the cabin and sitting down on the porch.

Inhaling the cool air makes it better for a short moment. For about two seconds, Eddie can breathe again. Then the panic returns. His breathing becomes short, his palms start to sweat, and his heart beats so fast that he can’t believe he hasn’t died yet. Yet being the keyword, it sure feels like he’s going to die any second.

The images just won’t stop. Chrissy, the mob, being on the run, the Upside Down, the blood, the demobats, the death, the cold, Vecna, the cold, the death, the blood again. He will never escape, will he? He will be tormented by these images for the rest of his sorry life. Eddie’s quickening heartbeat makes him want to rip it out of his chest. Maybe that will make it easier, make the pain more bearable, make it go away even. He doesn’t hold back the sobs as they come out, a small ‘Fuck’ escaping his lips. The tears streaming down his face, leaving hot trails in the grime on his cheeks, are a welcome sensation. His sight is foggy, and his mind is blank, and so he places his face in his hands and continues to cry. Eddie cries the same way he cried, when he was a little kid. When he got bullied in middle school, when his father yelled, when he had just seen Chrissy die. He cries, hoping that the tears will wash away all his sorrows. Cries, hoping that he is silent enough not to be heard

He doesn’t notice the sound of the door creaking or the footsteps behind him. He also doesn’t notice when someone sits down next to him, too preoccupied with his own misery to care about his surroundings. He does notice, however, when someone gently places their hand on his back. Eddie flinches, not expecting another human's touch, but also fearing that said touch isn’t human. He looks up at his (probable) attacker and finds himself relieved, yet very confused, when he discovers that the person sitting next to him is Steve Harrington.

“You okay, man?” Steve’s voice is quiet and his tone careful, like he doesn’t want to scare Eddie away. He lets out a shaky laugh.
“Kind of stupid question, isn’t it, Harrington?” His voice is hoarse from crying.
“Fair enough, kind of is.” Steve looks a bit lost. He raises his hand and carefully places it on Eddie’s shoulder, squeezing it lightly.
“Just wanted to check up on you. We were all kind of worried when you left and didn’t come back for, what, fifteen minutes?”

Has it really been that long? Well, one typically doesn’t notice time passing by when freaking out like this.
“And you were the poor bastard chosen to check up on me?” Eddie manages to say with a steadier voice than expected.
“No, dude, I was just worried.”
“Right.” Eddie still can’t believe that Steve Harrington, out of all people, would be worried about him.

“So…” Steve’s voice is surprisingly soft, he notices. He also notices that his hand is very warm on Eddie’s shoulder.
“How are you, man?”
“I don’t know. Pretty shit?” Eddie is still crying slightly, the tears not wanting to stop. “My whole world got turned upside down, no pun intended. I almost died, you almost died, we all almost died, and now I’m just supposed to sit there and eat an Eggo?” He looks at the tear soaked waffle in his hand. “Sounds like a load of bullshit to me.”

Steve looks at him in a way Eddie can’t quite decipher. His eyes have a sort of pity in them, but not the disgusting kind. It seems so genuinely concerned that Eddie doesn’t mind, though he usually hates it. Steve sighs and let his gaze fall to his lap.

“You know,” Steve’s voice is quiet, “I would love to tell you that it goes away, but it kind of doesn’t. I mean, it gets better, but it never goes away, really. Sorry.” For some reason, he genuinely sounds apologetic.
“No use apologizing.” Eddie’s voice is still muffled by tears. “Not like you did any of it.”
“I know, it’s just… it’s just hard. Seeing someone go through what you already went through yourself.”
That was a fair point. Steve did go through it himself. Multiple times, apparently. How the fuck does he look so calm right now, though?

“How the fuck are you so calm?” Eddie voices his question. “How are all of you so fucking calm? Shit, even the kids. They’re just kids, and they had to go through all of that. Fuck…”
“Yeah, man, it’s fucked up.” Steve says, squeezing Eddie’s shoulder a bit harder this time, “I don’t know how I do it. I just… learned to live with it, I suppose. It gets easier. The nightmares will stop, eventually. Not fully, I mean, I still get them, but it does get better.”
“Fuck…” Eddie lets his head hang, stretching his cramped neck. He is trying his best to calm down, but it is so hard. He’s kind of embarrassed, to be honest. This time, when Steve puts his hand on Eddies back, he doesn’t flinch at all. He welcomes the touch. It’s calming. Steve is gently stroking his back and Eddie decides to let himself cry. Let himself be horrified and traumatized and, damn it, be comforted by Steve’s presence.

Steve inches closer to him, putting an arm around Eddie’s shoulders in a weird and uncomfortable side hug. Eddie’s never experienced anything better than this.
“You’ll get through it, dude. We’ll be there for you.” Steve sounds so sure, that he nearly believes it. But he knows, that the next time he will close his eyes, he will be going through the same thing again. Eddie looks up, glances at Steve, and then directs his gaze at the night sky. The stars are so beautiful, that he nearly forgets how vile the world around him turned out to be.

Two weeks later, Eddie wakes up in a cold sweat, screaming and thrashing in his sheets. Every hour of being awake and alone is excruciating, but the nightmares are worse. Trying his best to calm down, Eddie takes a deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. It helps, he had found out by now, to just breathe.

After a while, when his heart beat has settled and living doesn’t seem unbearable anymore, Eddie finally decides to get up. He gets dressed, eats breakfast. Some dry cereal, to be exact, he can’t stomach more these days. Going through these motions every day helps too. Something about routine being grounding, he had read that in a stupid magazine some time.

Afterwards, sitting on the couch, Eddie spends most of his morning staring holes into the ceiling. Staring holes and trying not to think about Chrissy Cunningham floating right where he’s looking. Trying to forget climbing through the gate on his ceiling. Trying to forget about the gate at all.

Around noon it gets unbearable again. Eddie decides that he either has to go out or get high. While getting high seems like the better option, he decides to opt for going out instead. Mostly because he got high yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before. Go out, but where? Eddie doesn’t have to think long, though. He remembers what Steve said to him that night. That they would be there for Eddie. (To be honest, which Eddie wasn’t, he remembered everything about that interaction. He tends to remember things very well.) And so he puts on his boots and starts his journey to the Family Video Store.

Eddie steps outside into the glaring sunlight. It was going to be a hot summer this year. Spring break had ended only a week ago, and it was already almost unbearable to be outside. But maybe Eddie’s just too sensitive to warmth and sunlight.

Eddie hasn’t been to school the whole week. He doesn’t see the point anymore. The world had been ending, and now he was supposed to care about passing English? Or math? No way. He had stopped hoping to graduate at the end of last year, only going to school and trying for uncle Wayne’s sake. Eddie has a weird need to make the man proud. To show him that he is better than Eddie’s deadbeat father. But maybe he isn’t. And that’s okay, right? Probably not.

He hasn’t talked to his friends since the Chrissy-dying-world-almost-ending-event, as he now likes to call it. He doesn’t think he could bear to pretend that everything is normal around them. To not admit to them the horrors he lived through. Or to keep shut about the terrifying parallel dimension filled with gross creatures that exists so close and yet so far away.

On the drive over, Eddie starts contemplating his choice. What if Steve and Robin aren’t working today? How the fuck should he know when their shifts are? Why would he just assume that they would be there? He’s quite an idiot, that’s for sure.

Having parked his van a block away because there wasn’t any room closer to the store, he still hates himself for coming. He walks the short distance to the Family Video Store and, upon entering, sighs from relief. Robin is excitedly talking to a customer, probably rambling about some movie. Eddie had noticed that she had the tendency to lose herself in her words. He finds it kind of sweet to see, it makes her seem so alive.

He decides to browse the aisles, while Robin talks to her customer. Looking at the different VHS tapes is entertaining to him. The colorful covers, the strange or melodramatic titles, they all distract him from the glaring pit in his chest. Eddie doesn’t even have a VHS player, he wouldn’t be able to rent anything even if he wanted to.

Once the customer has paid and hurriedly left the store, Robin directs her attention towards him.
“Good morning, welcome to the Family Video Store.” She hasn’t yet looked at him properly and sounds pretty bored, but when she does, her eyes widen and a huge smile spreads across her face.

“Eddie! It’s so good to finally see you again. I was starting to get worried, that we hadn’t seen you for like two weeks. I was already thinking about sending Steve to check that you’re okay, but I guess I don’t have to do that now. And I’m glad, he’s been in kind of a mood lately, it's a bit annoying honestly. I’m rambling again, aren’t I?” She looks at him apologetically.

“It’s fine. I’m fine. As fine as anyone can be.” He answers, finding it much easier to sound normal than he does around uncle Wayne. It’s because she knows, he thinks. Because he doesn’t have to hide.
“Yeah, I get that.” She’s leaning against the register, looking at him with her bright smile, as if the world hadn’t almost ended two weeks ago and this was just the most regular conversation ever. He still finds it hard to understand how all of them do it.

“So, what’d you come here for? Wanna rent a movie?”
“Nah, just came by to say hi. Well…” He steps closer to the register, not wanting to talk too loudly when speaking of the whole Chrissy-dying-world-almost-ending-event.
“I just can’t really be alone right now. When I’m not high, at least.” He looks away from her, feeling kind of embarrassed.
“Ah, well. I get that. Vickie’s been sleeping over pretty much every night since it all ended. It helps to not be alone. You know, I told her about everything.” That piques Eddie’s curiosity.
“And she believed you?”
“She did, somehow. And after that, she told me that she-” Robin suddenly went quiet.
“What did she tell you?” Eddie is even more curious now, though a sense of dread starts to spread through him. What if something bad happened again? He couldn’t do this all over.

“Well,” Robin seems unsure, her voice almost going down to a whisper, so that Eddie has to take a few steps closer to fully understand her.
“She told me that she liked me.” Oh. He feels relieved. That means he had been right. About Robin being like him. He had assumed, of course, but now that it was confirmed, he is a bit proud of himself for having guessed correctly.

“Is that a good or bad thing? Do you like her back?” He asks, genuinely intrigued.
“Oh, I, well, you see, it’s like…” Robin flushes bright red, and Eddie immediately knows the answer.
“Well, congrats!” he says with a bright smile. He realizes, that this is the first time he smiled since the Chrissy-dying-world-almost-ending-event. The first time he is feeling any emotion besides fear, anxiety, and sheer panic.

“Thanks! She’s really great, I can’t even believe that she would go for someone like me, it’s amazing. ” Robin’s smile seems very genuine. “So, are you perchance…?” She asks, wiggling her eyebrows. Eddie doesn’t have to hear the full question to know what she means. Even though he knows that Robin is safe, he feels his heart skip a beat and his palms start to get sweaty. For a second, he thinks about lying to her, but then decides to go for a nod.

Robin’s face brightens again.
“I’m so happy about that, you can’t even imagine. I never thought I would find someone like me, like us, in Hawkins. I mean, it’s goddamn Hawkins we’re talking about.”
“Fucking Hawkins.” Eddie mutters.
“Tell me about it!” Robin sighs, slouching against the register dramatically. “We should establish a gay mafia here, don’t you think?” Eddie finds that funny enough to smile a second time.
“Sure, sounds terrific. We should start collecting money from all the businesses, and if they can’t pay, we’ll turn them into flaming homosexuals. Beware the gay mafia!”

Robin looks at him with wide eyes.
“You, Mister Munson, are a genius.” She starts laughing. Her laugh is infectious enough for Eddie to let out a chuckle or two. He really never would have thought that he would be able to laugh after the Chrissy-dying-world-almost-ending-event. He honestly never thought that he would ever feel normal again, but he was wrong. Right now he feels just like his regular self and even if it’s temporary, it gives him the tiniest sliver of hope. But the tiniest sliver is still more than nothing.

“How did you know?” He decides to ask.
“Oh, it’s just… a feeling I get about certain people, you know?”
“I guess.”
“Does anyone else know about you?” Robin asks, leaning forward.
“No one. You?”
“Steve does.” Well, that was unexpected. “He’s the only one.”
“And he’s cool with it?” Eddie wonders.
“He is.” Robin smiles. “He was very supportive when I told him.”

He didn’t expect that. Eddie still can’t grasp the fact that King Steve is, well, that King Steve is a normal guy. He just can’t et go of that image he has of him. The jock, the popular kid.

“You know,” Robin is kind of serious now, “Steve really is a very good person. He was already when I met him. At Scoops Ahoy. In the mall, remember?”
“Yeah sure.”
“Well, you should give him more of a chance, be open-minded.”
“I’ll try my best.” Eddie still wasn’t sure”

“Wanna know something?” She has a grin plastered on her face. “I think you two would make good friends.” This makes Eddie laugh
“No way. King Steve Harrington and Eddie ‘The Freak’ Munson? You’ve got to be joking.”
“No, man, I’m like totally serious”
“If you say so…” Eddie is still very unsure.

“I mean, the two of us are obviously friends now, why not Steve too?” She smiles at him.
“We’re friends?” He’s kind of surprised.
“Of course, dude. Totally friends.”
“That’s… good. I’m glad.” He really hadn’t expected to make a friend this quickly. Or to make a friend at all.

“So you maybe actually wanna rent a movie?” Robin asks him, changing the subject.
“Nah, I don’t even have a VHS player at home.”
“What? That’s insane. You have to come over and watch a movie with me. I’ll drag you there by force if you say no, by the way. I’m not kidding” She seems pretty serious, so Eddie decides that a disagreement would end with him being dragged to Robin’s house by his hair.
“Alright, alright. No need to get violent.” He laughs.
“Good.” Robin seems satisfied. “Any other answer and you would have gotten seriously hurt. Your actions have consequences, remember that. Oh, we should totally see the Breakfast Club! You’ll love it. It’s about these teenagers in detention…”

As Robin continues to ramble about The Breakfast club, Eddie feels his muscles relax, his jaw unclench and his palms stop sweating. He’s starting to calm down from his nightmare in a manner that he hadn’t been able to do before. It feels freeing in a way that he didn’t expect. As if many pounds of stones had been lifted from him all at once. He feels light and airy, able to listen to Robin and not get nervous about not looking behind his back. It feels like before Vecna, before everything went downhill for him.

After having agreed to watch The Breakfast Club with Robin, he leaves the store to get some lunch. Though he still can’t properly stomach any food, he figures, he should at least try. He is still trying to maintain a normal routine, though he’s mostly failing miserably. But as he has left the house anyway, getting some lunch wouldn’t be too difficult of a task. And so he decides to walk to the closest place that serves food and spend some of his last money on it.

As he walks and walks, some of that nervousness creeps back into him. He’s
not sure why it’s back, probably because he’s alone now. It’s sad, how temporary this normalcy now is, and he fiddles with the rings on his fingers, when thinking about the night and the dark coming back.

Still not having found a place to eat after a twenty minute walk, he decides to give up. Fuck having a routine, and fuck eating lunch. On his way back, he can’t help but feel a sense of excitement. He’s excited to have made a friend, a friend, who is like him at that. He’s excited that that friend is Robin, and he’s excited that with her, he can feel normal again.

“You won’t believe what happened to me, I swear, I hate this town,” he announces upon entering the store, trying to locate Robin.

“Really? What did Hawkins do to you, Munson?” Eddie spins around, to where the voice came from, and recognizes none other than Steve Harrington standing right behind him, wearing his employee vest.

“Harrington, didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Well, I work here, so…” Steve has a smug grin on his face. Where did that even come from? Eddie can’t help but find it slightly irritating.

“I was expecting to see Robin.”
“Oh, she’s already left.“ Shit. Eddie didn’t think to ask when Robin’s shift ended.

“How are you doing? Holding up alright?” Steve asks with a sincerity that takes Eddie off guard. “You weren’t doing too hot last time I saw you.”
“I mean, who is alright after everything, right?” He laughs awkwardly. “Honestly, I’m shit, man.”
“That sucks.” Steve seems genuinely upset by his answer. “You need any help or anything at all?”

And there it is again. That same genuine pity that made Eddie feel understood. The same look in Steve’s eyes, that he had two weeks ago on Hopper’s porch. Eddie loves it and hates it at the same time. Hates it because of how much he loves it, to be exact. He wants to be looked at like that forever. Like he is worth something, like it will be okay. But good things never last for Eddie Munson, and so Steve looks away again.

“Nah, man, I’m good.” A blatant lie.

“So, anything you wanna rent?” Steve isn’t asking to be polite, he’s actually curious. Eddie doesn’t know why, but his instinct is to say ‘yes’. Just so that to keep the conversation going. As if he couldn’t do it otherwise, but that’s besides the point.

“So? What is it?”

Eddie panics. He looks around and picks up the first movie he gets his hands on. “The Swarm” it’s called. The cover looks kind of stupid. When he hands it to Steve, he is met with a skeptical look.

“The Swarm? Really”
“Well, I wanted to see it.”
“But it really isn’t that good. Honestly, dude, you couldn’t have picked out a worse movie.” Steve seems genuinely offended by Eddie’s movie choice, and he finds it a bit amusing. The fact that someone could get this upset over a movie bewilders Eddie, as he listens to Steve rant about how bad he thinks The Swarm is. It’s kind of endearing, watching him this worked up. Eddie freezes at that. He really shouldn’t be finding Steve Harrington endearing.

“But if you really want to go through with it, I won’t stop you.” Saying this, he walks behind the register and starts typing something on the computer. “You don’t have an account. I’ll make one for you.” With his typing getting even more violent.
“Sure man, go for it.”
Eddie can’t help but stare at his fingers. The way they’re flying away on the keyboard, as if it were a piano, is mesmerizing. Steve has strong hands, built for dribbling balls and swinging baseball bats. They are beautiful, Eddie thinks, freezing again. Something’s wrong with him today, that much is obvious.

“All done” Steve’s voice pulls Eddie out of his trance. “That’ll be 2,55 please.”
“Coming right up,” he says, searching for the five dollar bill that’s somewhere in his pocket. Except that it isn’t there, and Eddie realizes that he put on the wrong pants this morning. Good thing lunch didn’t work out anyway. Fuck.

“Ah, shit dude,” God this is embarrassing, “I don’t think I have that much with me,” Eddie says apologetically.
“No worries, I’ll pay for you.”
“You can’t!” Eddie really doesn’t like people paying for his stuff.
“But I will.”

Steve obviously isn’t going to budge, so Eddie lets him be. It’s not his money, after all. He watches as Steve takes out five dollars from his pocket and puts it in the register, paying for Eddie to see a movie Steve absolutely hates. And Eddie won’t even be able to watch it. Curse him for spilling beer on the VHS player four years ago.

“Here,” Steve says, handing Eddie the VHS.
“Thanks man. I appreciate it.”
Steve’s answers this with a nod. He looks at Eddie, a bit torn, as if he isn’t sure, whether he should say what he’s about to say.
“Dude, you wanna come over some time?”

Eddie is a bit startled by this question. Sure, knows, that Steve wasn’t going to be an asshole to him, but he still didn’t expect his interest in him to be more than… professional? Was that the right word? No, more than incidental. Based on more than the whole Chrissy-dying-world-almost-ending-event. He thought Steve only cared for him because of what they lived through together. Apparently he was wrong.

“Asking me out on a date, Harrington?” he says jokingly.
“No. No, I’m not,” Steve deadpans. “It’s about the kids.”
“What, you don’t want to babysit them alone? ” Eddie is quite sure that he’s right about this.
“No. It’s just… Dustin found out that my parents are on a business trip and insisted on a movie night.”
“So why do I have to make an appearance?”
“I was getting there. I’m not gonna be able to handle the whole group, I need the help.”
“So I was right,” Eddie smirked. “Daddy Harrington can’t handle his babies.”
Surprisingly enough, Steve doesn’t look annoyed with him. He just chuckles and shakes his head disapprovingly.

“No need to be rude, Munson. Besides, they really like you. And also, I just want you to consider the following: free beer.”
“I’m in.” Eddie doesn’t have to think about that twice.

“Amazing, dude! This Friday at six.”
“I’ll be there. I’m gonna… go watch my movie now.” Eddie raises the hand holding the VHS. “Say hi to Robin from me”
“Will do.” Steve salutes. “Hey, it was nice seeing you, man.”
“It was simply a pleasure,” Eddie says, and he means it.

He leaves the family video store feeling neutral, which is something he is incredibly grateful for. On his drive back home, he thinks about the day he had. It was a good one, he thinks. The first good one since the whole Chrissy-dying-world-almost-ending-event. He made a friend. Maybe even two friends. If Steve Harrington, who apparently, not just tolerates, but actually likes him enough to invite him to babysit, counts as making a friend.

When Eddie gets home to the trailer, he is alone again. Uncle Wayne won’t be home until late in the night, and so Eddie can do whatever his heart desires. His heart desires smoking a ton of weed, while he is still feeling relatively good. And so he does. He gets out his stash, rolls a joint and, sitting on the porch of the trailer, smokes his heart out. When he finally feels numb and dizzy enough for his liking, he goes back inside. He eats, he goes to his room and lies down on his bed, the same as every evening before. Sleep claims him easily, and as he falls into the horrifying pit of nightmares he has begun think of as dreaming, his last conscious thoughts are of Steve Harrington’s strong hands.

••••••••••

On Friday, at 6:30, Eddie finds himself standing on Steve’s porch. He’s half an hour late, but that’s just the way he is. He has never been very punctual. For some reason, he doesn’t ring the bell immediately. He has to build up the courage to do so. When he does, five minutes later, Steve opens the door almost immediately. There is a big smile on his face. He can hear yelling coming from the inside, and Eddie recognizes Dustin’s voice.

“Hey man, you’re finally here. These little dipshits are destroying my life.” Steve looks genuinely distraught.
“What, is it that horrific?”
“Come see for yourself, dude.” He steps back to let Eddie inside and closes the door behind him.

“They wanted to play a game, while we waited for you.”
“Sorry, man,” Eddie mumbles.
“Nah, it’s fine. I decided to give them a puzzle, I mean, what could go wrong when solving a puzzle, right?” He sounds a bit hysterical.
“Right…” Eddie can see where this is going.
“Well, now they’re fighting over how to solve a puzzle.”
“That’s rough, man.”

They enter the living room, where the kids are sitting in a circle around a half finished puzzle.

“You start with the corners, Lucas. The corners!” Dustin’s voice is loud and a bit obnoxious, the way he usually is.
“No, man. Not the corners. Why would I start with the corners?” Lucas is just as loud.
“Because the corners are the easiest to find,” Mike chimes in.
“You guys are so stupidly annoying,” Max interjects.
“You-”
“Let’s ask Eddie,” Dustin says. He has noticed Eddie and Steve standing in the doorway. “Eddie, how do you solve a puzzle?”

“It’s simple, kid. Outer edges, then the middle.” Eddie says, moving his hands in the appropriate motion.
“You see, corners!” Dustin is obviously very excited.
“This is just unfair, man,” Lucas says, crossing his arms and leaning back against the couch.

“Let's just watch the movie, alright?” Steve sounds a bit exhausted. “Eddie and I on the couch, you guys anywhere you want”

Eddie is a bit surprised by that statement. He didn’t really expect for Steve to want to sit together with him. But he probably just doesn’t want to be left sitting on the floor, and Eddie was the first person he thought of. Nothing too surprising about it.

“But the puzzle! The corners!” Dustin says, disappointed.
“You’ll finish that another time, come on, man.” Steve is really not having it today.

“So, where is that free beer you mentioned?” asks Eddie. He really needs some alcohol right now.
“I’ll get it, wait a sec.” And with that, Steve is gone.

Eddie sits down on the couch and watches as the kids spread out on the floor. When Steve comes back with two cans of beer and plops down next to him, Eddie has already gotten comfortable. The couch is surprisingly soft and lets him sink into the comfy pillows. Steve hands Eddie a beer and tells Dustin to put on the movie.

“What are we watching?” Eddie asks, opening his beer.
“Back to the Future,” Steve tells him. “Fantastic movie, you seen it?”
“No, I don’t really watch movies,” Eddie confesses.
“Except for The Swarm?”
“Right. Except for that.”

The Movie starts, and it gets quiet, with everyone staring at the screen in front of them. And as Marty McFly speeds off to the past, Eddie lets his arm rest on the back of the sofa behind Steve. It is not his intention, for Steve to inch closer to him and almost lean into the not-embrace that Eddie initiated for some unknown reason. Eddie’s breath hitches, and he hopes that Steve doesn’t notice. It would be embarrassing. Slowly, and most importantly, out of Eddie’s control, his arm slips down to rest on Steve’s shoulder, and Steve let’s out something akin to a quiet and content sigh.

Eddie must be imagining it. This can’t be real. This has to be some cruel joke, because, sitting like this, with Steve fucking Harrington in his arms, makes something in Eddie’s stomach churn and flutter. And as though Eddie doesn’t have enough problems already, Steve’s head falls to rest on his shoulder, as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. As if the whole situation isn’t evoking the most gut-wrenching butterflies in Steve’s stomach, as it is with Eddie. And maybe it isn’t. Eddie has to be realistic here, Steve is as straight as they come, and maybe he is just a physically affectionate person. That’s most likely. It must be the beer, he thinks, and tries to focus on the movie again.

Eddie doesn’t even notice that he’s started to gently stroke Steve’s shoulder with his thumb, until he notices Steve tense up in his arms. Shit, he fucked it all up. He immediately stops what he was doing, and when Steve still doesn’t relax, decides that he should lift his arm again. But when he does, something tugs on his hand. As he looks down, he sees Steve’s hands tugging on his and putting his arm back in place. The before mentioned butterflies in Eddie’s stomach are fully freaking out now. What the hell is going on? Does Steve actually like it when Eddie holds him? This can’t be real, this can’t be real. Eddie wants to die.

He tries to shift his focus back to the movie, but fails miserably, as Steve adjusts his position, so that he is fully leaning against Eddie now. His arm is resting on Eddie’s thigh and his hair, his goddamn hair, is tickling Eddie’s nose. Steve’s hair smell like soap with a hint of expensive cologne, and another smell he can’t quite describe. It might be the best thing Eddie’s ever smelt in his life.

He can’t believe that this is real. He can’t believe that he’s enjoying it. And he really shouldn’t be. It feels exploitative. Because it doesn’t mean as much to Steve, as it means to him. When did Steve start to mean something to him? How did that happen? It really shouldn’t have, that’s glaringly obvious. As Marty McFly tries not to ruin his parent’s relationship, Eddie realizes, that if he doesn’t stop this feeling soon enough, it will turn into something disastrous.

When the movie is over and Marty McFly’s story has ended, Steve untangles himself from Eddie. The only part he properly remembers is when Marty McFly played Johnny Be Goode. Everything else in these two hours was just Steve. Eddie stays in his place on the couch, watching as Steve tries his best to get the kids out of the house.

The last two hours went by in the blink of an eye, yet Eddie feels as if he has been sitting on the couch for ages. He already misses the close contact he had with Steve. Surely only because he is constantly touch starved, not because of how warm and right Steve had felt in his arms. Not because of Steve squeezing his thigh before getting up, or of the way Steve’s hair smells.

“You alright, man?” Steve says, plopping down on the couch next to Eddie again.
“Yeah, just… just thinking,” is his reply.
“You wanna stay for a while longer?” Steve asks, handing Eddie another beer.
“In this humble abode of yours?” he says, moving his hands in a grand motion, to show the size of the house. “Any time, Harrington.”

Steve just laughs at that and takes a sip of his beer.

“You doing better?” Suddenly Steve’s so serious and sincere again. This question again. How is he doing? The nightmares still haven’t stopped, and he can’t fall asleep without getting high, but otherwise? Otherwise, he’s terrible. The only light in his life has been Robin, who keeps reaching out and coercing him into meeting up. Not that he minds. Eddie decides that he’ll be honest with Steve.

“I’m, simply said, not alright. The nightmares are bad, being awake isn’t much better. Robin helps, you know?”
“Yeah, I know. She does that.” Steve stretches a bit, exposing a tiny sliver of his stomach, big enough that Eddie can see the scar forming from the flesh wound the demobats gave him. Steve seems to be littered with scars. They’re on his arms, small but visible, on his face, on his neck. Eddie can’t imagine what Steve has gone through. Well, he can imagine, he just doesn’t think he can grasp the amount of trauma and violence that has been inflicted on him in the past. That would explain the personality change, though. Eddie has changed too, he thinks.

“You know what helps?” Steve looks at him and takes another sip of his beer. “Against the nightmares at least?”
“Please, enlighten me.” Eddie is actually kind of hopeful.
“Not sleeping alone. I found out, when I was still with Nancy. After the first time. I hadn’t been used to it. None of us were. But when I wasn’t alone at night, the nightmares stopped.”
“Well, it’s a shame I don’t have a Nancy with me right now,” Eddie joked. “Gonna make things a lot harder for me.”
“You could stay over,” Steve says, so matter of factly, as if it doesn’t mean anything. “I have a mattress we could put in my room.”
“Are you sure?” he asks, because he really isn’t.
“You look very tired, man. I just want you to get some sleep.” Steve rakes his hand through his hair. “And I wouldn’t mind, either. I also get them, you know? The nightmares. Just because I’ve been through it a couple times, doesn’t mean that they’ve stopped.”

“Oh.” Eddie didn’t really expect that. Although he probably should have.
“I mean, I guess I could stay over. Wouldn’t be doing anything other than getting high at home anyway.” At that, Steve lets out a sigh of relief.
“Thank God dude, I was hoping you’d say that. Haven’t slept properly for the last three nights.”
“Glad to help out King Steve at any time,” Eddie grins, which makes Steve snort.
“Are you really still on that? Thought I would’ve lost the title after high school.”
“Never, Your Highness.” Eddie’s grin gets even wider. He takes a big sip of his beer.

Steve really was a different person than he had been in high school. Back then, he was an asshole. A grade A asshole, even. Eddie could remember the snickers directed at him and his friends he would hear in the hallways. And even if Steve wasn’t the one snickering himself, he didn’t say anything against it. Steve was the rich popular kid, the jock, the asshole. The Steve sitting next to Eddie is none of those things. He is caring, he is kind, he is… good. And Eddie is glad that he has met this version of Steve.

Their conversation lasts for hours. They talk and talk and talk. About Vecna, about their high school years, about life, about death. By the time Steve lets out a loud yawn, it is already past eleven.

“Maybe we should go to sleep,” Steve says, yawning again. He really does seem tired. “I woke up at five am today, can’t handle being awake much longer.”

The fact that Eddie doesn’t feel tired at all and dreads going to sleep doesn’t keep him from saying yes. He doesn’t want to keep him up longer than needed. He’s already bothering him enough by staying over, no need to make him lose sleep too. Though Eddie is glad about Steve’s offer. He really hopes that it will actually help.

Steve leads him up to his room. It’s a nice room, not too flashy, with a bed and a desk and a walk in closet. Still more, than anything Eddie’s ever had, but that’s not difficult. The mattress that Steve gets out of the closet is thin and is probably going to make Eddie’s back hurt in the morning. But he doesn’t care about that, as long as he doesn’t have to be alone.

“Here, some clothes,” Steve says, handing Eddie a pair of sweats and a shirt.
“Thanks.” Eddie feels a sense of excitement about wearing Steve’s clothes. He really shouldn’t be excited about that.
“I’m going to change in the bathroom,” Steve says, heading for the bathroom door. Eddie almost wants to tell him, that he doesn’t have to. That Eddie doesn’t mind Steve changing in front of him. He doesn’t do that, of course. Why would he?

Eddie changes, while Steve is gone. He puts on the shirt that is a bit baggy on him and the sweats, also baggy. Now he is enveloped in the smell of Steve. It’s the same smell as his hair has. Soap with a hint of expensive cologne. He hates himself for enjoying it, and yet he does. He takes the hem of the shirt and puts it to his face, deeply inhaling the smell.

“You okay dude?” Steve’s voice sounds from behind him. Fuck. Eddie drops the shirt and quickly turns around.
“Yeah, peachy.”
“Alright.” Steve obviously knows that something is up, but thankfully doesn’t say anything about it. “Take any pillow from the bed, I’ll give you a blanket.”

Eddie takes a pillow and sits down on the mattress. He can feel the hard floor through it, but he doesn’t mind it. His bed at home isn’t much more comfortable. He is happy to not be alone. He can’t stand being alone these days

“Lights on or off?” Steve asks, hand on the light switch.
“Off,” Eddie says. He isn’t scared of the dark, even now. Steve turns off the lights and climbs into his bed.

“Good night.” He yawns again.
“Sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite,” Eddie answers, which earns him a chuckle from Steve. Eddie really likes the way he laughs.

Steve’s breaths even out quickly, and so Eddie lies on the hard mattress, listening to Steve breath. He really likes Steve, he’s come to realize. Not in a romantic way, of course, just as a very close friend. Or someone who could be that. The fact that Eddie’s stomach churns and turns every time he looks at Steve doesn’t mean anything. Well, it does. Steve is an attractive guy, Eddie can’t deny that. But that doesn’t mean that he has to be into his soft brown eyes, his pretty hair, his beautiful smile, his funny laugh… Eddie really needs to calm down and get his shit together.

When Eddie falls asleep an hour later, his sleep isn’t as dreamless as Steve had promised. He dreams of Chrissy’s snapping limbs. Of running, and running, and running until he falls to the ground. Of the mob finding him. Of them pulling his hair, and kicking him, and beating him, making him scream, and yelling the same word at him, over and over again. Murderer. Murderer. Murderer. MURDERER.

Eddie wakes up screaming. He sits up, burying his hands in his hair, trying to calm his ragged breathing. The mob wasn’t here, they hadn’t gotten to him. It’s alright, it’s alright, it’s… Tears start streaming down his face and suddenly there are arms wrapping around him, and his face is being pressed to someone's chest.

“It’s alright, Eddie, it’s alright…” When Eddie hears these words coming out of Steve’s mouth, he actually kind of believes them. It is alright. He is fine. Steve is there, and he isn’t alone. Eddie melts into Steve’s embrace, continuing to cry. His tears flow freely, dampening Steve’s shirt, which he will probably find disgusting in a few minutes. Eddie hates himself for crying, for having a nightmare even though he shouldn’t have had. Most importantly, Eddie hates himself for being so scared, for being such a coward. He has to calm down, he just has to calm down. Steve whispers something that Eddie can’t make out, but his presence helps. And after a long while, as his breathing starts to even out, he pulls away. There is nothing he can say, not even a ‘thank you’ would be enough. Steve is sitting next to him. Hair disheveled from sleep and a worried look on his face. His hand is resting on Eddie’s arm and his thumb is stroking it ever so slightly.

“Nightmare?” Steve asks.
“Obviously enough.” Eddie’s voice is shaky and hoarse from crying, but he manages a quiet laugh.
“I’m sorry. I really thought this would help.”
“It’s not like it’s your fault. That’s just on me for being fucked up.” Eddie smiles apologetically at Steve. There’s really nothing that could help him.

“You know, maybe you should come sleep in the bed with me,” Steve says. “Maybe it’s the close contact that helps.”
“In your bed? Are you sure?” Eddie has to ask, because otherwise he will feel horrible about agreeing. Because of course he’s going to agree. What else could he do?

“Yeah.” Steve gets up and climbs into his bed again. “Come here.” He scoots over.
“Alright.” Eddie doesn’t have it in him to protest. He sits on the bed next to Steve and looks at him expectantly. Steve lies down and Eddie follows. They lay there, both on their backs, looking at the ceiling. Steve’s bed isn’t very big and so their sides are touching. It isn’t awkward, not at all. At least until Steve turns towards Eddie.

“Do you want me to hug you?” he whispers. Eddie is grateful for the dark enveloping them, because he flushes bright red. Is this another cruel joke the universe is playing on him?

“Hug me?” Eddie can’t really believe what is happening to him.
“I mean, I don’t have to, just thought it might be nice.” Steve shrugs his shoulders.
“Well, I mean, if you’re offering, I’m not gonna decline.” Eddie shrugs back.
“Turn around,” Steve says, and Eddie does. Steve moves closer, so that his front is flush to Eddie’s back. He puts an arm around Eddie, pressing his hand to his chest, and pulls him closer.

“Is this alright?” Steve asks quietly. Eddie just nods, too shocked to speak. And he isn’t lying. It really is alright. More than alright, great even. Steve is a comforting presence behind him. Strong, anchoring. He strokes Eddie’s chest with his fingers and sneaks his other arm under his neck.

“Relax, dude,” he whispers, his breath hot on Eddie’s ear, and it makes him want to die. But he tries his best to relax, to melt into the comfort of Steve’s arms. He hugs the arm that’s splayed on his chest and moves even closer to Steve. He can feel Steve’s breathing on his neck, ruffling his hair and making the cursed butterflies, that have reappeared in his stomach, flutter. Eddie closes his eyes and realizes how tired he actually is. Steve yawns again.

“What was your dream about? You don’t have to tell me, but it helps sometimes.” Steve’s voice is dripping with care and compassion.
“The usual stuff. Chrissy, the mob, being beaten to death. You know the drill.”
“Sounds bad,” Steve says, and he grabs Eddie’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “Your scream sounded so scared, I thought there was a demogorgon in the room for a second.” The joke doesn’t really land, but that’s okay. At least he is trying.

“I don’t know, that was a pretty standard scream for me. Happens all the time.”
“It really shouldn’t.” Steve sighs. “I hate all of this so much sometimes.” Eddie also sighs, he thinks that's a good enough reply.
“We should go to sleep again, I think,” says Steve. “It won’t do much use lying awake all night.”
“Alright.” Eddie is quite close to sleep anyway. It won’t be difficult to fall asleep, when Steve is holding him like he’s the most precious thing in the world. His stomachs does a backflip at that thought.

“Good night,” he hears Steve whisper.
“Night,” he replies.

As Eddie begins to fall asleep, all he can think of is how Steve’s hand is still holding his.

In the morning, Eddie wakes slowly and finds, that Steve still hasn’t let go of his hand. Carefully, trying to not wake the other up, Eddie untangles himself from Steve and gets up. He quickly gets dressed and stands awkwardly in the middle of the room for a second. His gaze rests on Steve’s sleeping form. He looks incredibly peaceful, just lying there. And beautiful, Eddie thinks, but immediately shakes the thought. He can’t be doing this. Not after last night. Not after Steve letting him in, not knowing what he was doing.

He decides that he doesn’t want to wake him, and so he goes to Steve's desk and scribbles a note about having to leave early. He puts it on the bedside table and takes one last look at Steve. Eddie just hopes that Steve won’t be mad or disappointed when he wakes up. But why would he, it’s not like Eddie means that much to him.

Eddie leaves Steve’s house and drives home. He really did sleep well last night, thanks to Steve. Is he going to get to sleep with him like that again? Eddie hopes so. Because being hugged by Steve Harrington is better, than a successful DnD campaign, better than the best guitar solo, better than the highest high.

In the evening, Eddie is high again. It has become part of his routine now, to get high in the evening. Usually it helps him calm down, but this time his thoughts are racing. He thinks about Steve. About his hair, about his smell, about his eyes, about the way he held him. Mostly about how much he enjoyed every part of it. How much he enjoys Steve in general. Their conversation the night before had flown so easily, Eddie never would have thought that he would have the ability to talk to someone like King Steve Harrington. Though, Eddie supposed that the title really was out of date. After all, Steve wasn’t a king now. He was just Steve. And that was better than all the royalty in the world.

Eddie’s stomach is doing weird things again, and he decides to roll another joint. His stomach seems to be doing that a lot lately. Squeezing and lifting itself up to his throat, then falling again. Fucking butterflies. It’s all Steve’s fault, Eddie thinks and takes another drag, blowing the smoke out of the open window. At least in the trailer park nobody cared about him smoking.

Eddie tries his best to forget Steve’s back pressed to his, Steve’s legs intertwining with Eddie’s, Steve’s hand splayed out on his chest. But he can’t. And at some point, Eddie realizes, he will have to admit, that what he is feeling isn’t purely hypothetical attraction to a hot guy. It’s something else. Something terrifying and horrible, and yet so sweet and delightful. Eddie is Fucked. With a capital F, because being as fucked as Eddie is, deserves capitalization. He really did it, fell for a straight guy. One of the few people he can bear talking to right now.

He puts out the half smoked joint and lies down on his bed. It is nothing like Steve’s bed. Steve’s bed was warm and safe. Eddie’s bed is hard and cold. He sighs, closing his eyes, and for once, what he sees isn’t Chrissy, or the Upside Down, but Steve’s smile.

A few days later, Eddie is on his way to the Family Video Store again. He has been going every day now, just to not be alone. And to see Steve, of course. Of course. He has gotten so used to the other’s company that he can’t imagine not seeing him every day. Eddie doesn’t know why he keeps torturing himself.

When he arrives, he sees Steve’s car parked in front of the store and feels the cursed butterflies in his stomach flutter again. Sometimes it feels like they want to escape out of his throat. He goes inside, accompanied by the chiming of the bell above the doorway. Steve is inside. He is stocking a shelf and doesn’t notice Eddie at first. Well, that has to change.

“Greetings, You Highness!” Eddie says, a big, embarrassing grin plastered on his face. He just can’t help himself.
“You again,” Steve says, but he also smiles. “Thought I’d finally gotten rid of you yesterday, Munson.”
“You will never get rid of me,” Eddie says, leaning on the register.
“Oh well, guess I’ll just have to get used to it,” Steve says with a sigh. He walks up to Eddie, clapping him on the shoulder. Any physical contact with Steve makes his heart ache.

“Need any help?” Eddie asks, because he will gladly help Steve, if it makes his day easier.
“You sure you want to help me? At this point we’re exploiting you for free labor.”
“Damn, big word, Harrington. Did Robin teach that to you?” Eddie jokes. Steve just rolls his eyes. “And yes, I am sure. Haven’t got anything better to do anyway. And I can make myself useful while still annoying you.”
“Right. You could finish stocking this shelf, I guess.” Steve shrugs. “You know how to do that, right?”
“Sure, can’t be that hard.” Steve hands Eddie the VHS he is holding.

“Oh, it’s very complicated. You look at the title, and then put it away where it belongs. Terrible work, really.” Steve is smirking at him. A smirk really shouldn’t be that attractive.
“God, I think I’m too stupid for this,” Eddie says, sighing dramatically. “You’re gonna have to show me how it’s done, Harrington.” Steve laughs at that, and suddenly he is standing very close to Eddie.

“Here, I’ll show you,” He says, voice suddenly quieter. He takes the hand Eddie is holding the VHS with. His grip is firm, but not hard, and directs it towards the right slot on the shelf. Eddie is frozen in place. Is this flirting or just friendly teasing. He really can’t tell, and it makes his throat tighten.

“Very simple, you see.” Steve leans in as he says it. His voice is breathy. Then he is gone, letting go of Eddie’s hand. “You got it, Munson?” Steve looks as if nothing’s happened.
“Got it,” Eddie says, clearing his throat. “Though I might forget in a couple minutes. Might have to show me again.”
“Sure, Munson. Sure. Now get to work.” And Eddie does. They work like that, in silence. Eddie restocking the shelf and Steve sorting through new tapes. Occasionally a customer comes in, and Steve helps them choose a movie, or just takes their payment. It’s peaceful, the way they work together. Eddie enjoys

Half an hour later, Eddie is done with the shelf, so he just opts for looking at Steve. It always surprises Eddie, how good he looks, even though he is just wearing the store’s ugly employee vest. But he probably looks good in everything, Eddie thinks. Then Steve turns and looks at Eddie.

“Done, Munson?”
“All done, finished before you even,” He says with a smirk.
“Didn’t know this was a competition,” Steve says.
“Oh, everything is a competition. Life is a competition, Stevie.” He doesn’t know why that nickname slips out. Since when is Steve ‘Stevie’? This is embarrassing. But Steve just laughs.

“True, Munson.” Then he looks around the store, and beckons for Eddie to come closer. “Munson, I was thinking.”
“Congratulations, that’s a big achievement,” Eddie says seriously.
“Very funny,” Steve deadpans. “Anyway, I thought that, maybe, we could, like, meet up. To, you know, smoke together.” Eddie is a bit surprised by this.
“Didn’t know golden boy Steve was a pothead.”
“I’m not, it’s just… I really want to escape for a bit, You know?”

Steve looks at him with a meaningful look in his eyes. And Eddie knows exactly what he means, it’s how Eddie has been feeling every day for the past weeks. Like he is trapped in the waking world and the only thing that can help free him is a goddamn drug.

“Sure, man. Tonight?”
“Tonight sounds good. Thanks, Eddie,” Steve says. There is something about Steve saying his name that makes him want to giggle.
“Let’s say seven?” Eddie suggests.
“Seven, sounds good.” Steve is smiling at him and Eddie’s insides melt. He can’t take any more of this right now, he has to leave.

“So, I’m probably gonna go,” Eddie says. “Uncle Wayne wanted to… hang out.” He really is a terrible liar.
“Oh, sure.” Steve almost sounds disappointed, but he must be imagining it. “See you at seven,” he says.
“Farewell, Your Highness,” Eddie replies, saluting Steve. He leaves the store and takes a couple of deep breaths. This is horrible. Why did he agree? But maybe seeing Steve high would be a great experience. Who knows, what awaits him in the future. Eddie sure doesn’t.

••••••••••

Steve arrives at seven, just as they had agreed.
“Welcome to my mansion,” Eddie greets him. Steve just laughs and walks past Eddie inside the trailer, sitting down on the couch.

“So, what’ve you got in store for me, Munson?”
“Only the best, of course,” Eddie grins. “Have no fear, your Highness, for you will be high as a kite in just a few hours.” Steve laughs again, and it’s the most enchanting thing Eddie has ever heard.

“Get up, we can’t smoke in my living room,” Eddie says, leaving Steve sitting on the couch and walking to his room. Steve follows and, having entered the room, immediately starts snooping around. He looks at the posters up on Eddie’s wall. At the cassette tapes, at the messy pile of rings on the small desk, and finally at the handcuffs hanging from Eddie’s wall. Shit, he forgot they were there.

“What are these for, Munson?” Steve asks with a raised brow.
“Wouldn’t you like to know, Harrington.” Eddie winks at him. Fuck, why does he keep doing that?
“I don’t actually, thank you very much. So,” He looks at him expectantly. “Let’s do this.”
“As His Highness wishes,” Eddie says with a bow. Steve just snorts and sits down on Eddie’s bed. Eddie takes his trusty silver box from his desk and pulls out a carefully pre rolled joint from it.

“This is where the magic happens,” he says, sitting down next to Steve and pulling out a lighter from his pocket. He lights the joint and takes a drag, passing it to Steve. Steve looks a bit lost, though he bravely puts the joint to his lips and pulls, surprisingly without coughing. Eddie watches, mesmerized, as he blows the smoke out of his mouth.

“Not bad, Harrington, not bad,” he compliments. “You told me you had only done this once before, but seems like you’re a pro already.”
“Guess I’m just born to do it,” Steve says with a grin.
“Seems like it.” Eddie takes the joint back, taking another drag. They sit like that, passing the joint between each other, waiting for the high to come. When it finally comes, about twenty minutes later, Eddie finally feels himself relax. They still aren’t talking, but the silence is comfortable and doesn’t bother him at all. Eddie turns his head and takes a look at Steve. He is staring at one of the posters.

“You alright, Harrington?”
“Yeah, just… why does that dude look so weird.” Steve looks fascinated by it. “I mean, why is his hair so…” Steve ruffles his own hair. “So weird.” he giggles. Eddie also laughs. Steve is very funny when he’s high.

“I dunno man, it’s just the way he is. Let him be.” Eddie has a need to defend the guy on his poster.
“Oh, I’m letting him. He can be however much he wants.” Steve laughs again. Then he looks at Eddie. His eyes seem huge and Eddie can’t quite read his expression.

“I kind of want to hug you right now,” Steve says, he looks a bit confused now, as if he hadn’t really thought about what he was going to say before saying it.
“Go for it.” Eddie is way too confident for his own good, because now Steve is pulling him into a tight embrace. His fingers digging into the fabric of Eddie’s shirt, face pressed into the crook of Eddie’s neck. And Eddie, not knowing what to do, hugs back.

Suddenly, Steve pulls him into his lap. Exhaling sharply, Eddie looks down at him. He looks beautiful in the dim light. He lets his hands rest on Steve’s shoulder and when he notices the fresh scar running along his neck, he can’t help but touch it. And because he thinks he can, he ducks down and kisses it. He hears Steve’s breath hitch. And because the scar is so long, he places another kiss next to the first one. And then another, and another.

“Eddie.” Steve’s voice is quiet, and Eddie realizes that the may have fucked everything up. He raises his head from Steve’s neck and looks down on him.

“Eddie,” Steve says again. And, fuck, his pupils are blown wide, and Eddie doesn’t know whether it’s from the weed, or from something else entirely. Steve’s hands are in Eddie’s hair, tugging it slightly, and pulling him close to his face.

“Eddie,” Steve whispers one last time. And then he kisses him. Slowly and tenderly. It only lasts a few seconds, and as Steve pulls away, Eddie recognizes a look of confusion and fear on his face.

“I can’t do this right now,” he mutters. “Not right now.” And with that he lets go of Eddie. Everything inside of Eddie turns into acid. It burns and hurts, and he knows, that he fucked up something good, something beautiful that could have been, if he hadn’t been stupid. Stupid, stupid Eddie. He moves off of Steve’s lap, sitting down next to him. They sit in silence again. This time the silence is horrible. It eats away at Eddie’s heart and makes him wish for the universe to spontaneously combust.

“I think I’m gonna go,” Steve whispers.
“Alright,” Eddie whispers back,

Steve gets up and leaves the room. He doesn’t look at Eddie as he leaves, doesn’t even spare him a glance. Eddie stays in his place, as he listens how Steve’s car drives away. He wants to die. Thinks of taking the gun uncle Wayne keeps in his closet and shooting himself in the head, just to stop feeling anything. He shakes his head. Can’t kill himself over Steve Harrington. That would be stupid. Instead, he rolls another joint and lights it, hoping that the stronger high will help.

But it doesn’t. Instead, it makes Eddie want to roll up in a ball and cry. And so he does. The tears streaming down his face are hot, he keeps wiping his face with his sleeves, but that only makes the whole thing worse. At some point, he gets up to drink a glass of water, but that only gives him more tears to cry.

He’s never going to see Steve again, he decides. He can’t do that to himself. The Family Video Store is now taboo. So are the kids, and the entire town. Maybe he should just pack up his things and leave, he thinks. But where would he go? He hasn’t even graduated high school, what would he do?

In the end he just falls into an empty, dreamless sleep.

Eddie doesn’t leave the trailer for the next week. Uncle Wayne tells him, that he’s worried, but Eddie just waves his hand at him and pretends like everything is fine. Everything isn’t fine. Everything is horrible, actually. It feels like there’s something chewing up his insides. Eddie drinks, Eddie gets high and after a couple of days, Eddie learns to live with it. The pain gets less, the crying too. The only thing that stays is a numb ache in his chest.

At some point, Eddie almost gathers the courage to leave the trailer. He wakes up early in the morning and realizes, that he feels kind of alright. He makes himself a bowl of cereal and, unlike usually, doesn’t spill any milk while pouring it. It’s a good start to the day, Eddie decides. He doesn’t drink this morning, doesn’t smoke either. Instead, he takes out his guitar and plays a bit. He hasn’t done that since… since the whole Chrissy-dying-world-almost-ending-event. He missed it. Playing the guitar has always been such an important part of him. Writing songs, too. That’s also something he hasn’t done in a while. Though he doesn’t think that he could write right now. All that would come out would be sappy garbage.

As his fingers fly over the strings, he can’t help but think of Steve again. He always wanted to properly show Steve his playing. But that was before everything went downhill. Maybe Steve would have liked it. Would have been really impressed and would have complimented him. Then he would have gotten up from where he was sitting and would have placed his hands on Eddie’s waist. Then he would have leaned down and kissed him. Fuck, there it was again. He just couldn’t let himself be happy, could he? It was his fate to suffer and ruin every activity he enjoyed with thoughts of Steve.

Eddie doesn’t go out. He stays in his room and gets high again. And does so the next day. And the next. And the day after that. Until he doesn’t. That fateful day his stash runs out. That’s just his luck. So he doesn’t get high, and doesn’t get drunk. Drinking lost it’s appeal after the second hangover.

Instead, Eddie sits in his room, moping around. He is bored. On a regular day he would have gone out to the Family Video Store and talked to Robin. Or Steve. God damn it, he is thinking about him again. It’s like the plague, Eddie thinks. Once you catch it, you never get rid of it.

Around eight, someone knocks on his door. Eddie doesn’t know, who it is, until he hears Steve’s voice.

“Open up, Munson, I know you’re in there.” Eddie is so not opening that door. “It’s urgent, please.” Yeah, right. “I want to talk, I’m not leaving till you let me in.” By now, Eddie is starting to get annoyed. Maybe it will be easier to just get it over with. So he goes and opens the door, putting on his best I-really-don’t-want-to-see-you face. He is quite good at those.

“What do you want, Harrington?” Eddie asks, sounding harsher than he had intended. Steve looks disheveled. His hair is messy, and his polo shirt isn’t tucked into his jeans the way it usually is.
“I… I just want to talk. Please, Eddie.” And that is what gets him. So he steps aside to let Steve in.
“Hurry up,” he says, as Steve enters. “I don’t have all evening.” Although he definitely does.

“I… can you sit down? It makes me nervous when we both stand.” And Eddie sits, of course he does. Steve takes a deep breath.
“So. I need to talk to you. About… about the kiss.” Steve looks like he is going to combust any second. His hands are balled into fists, and he is moving from one foot to the other.

“Look,” Eddie says. “I know that I fucked up. I know that I took advantage of you. I’m sorry, Steve. Now can we please make this less painful and just go our separate ways?” Eddie is tired. He really can’t take much more of this. “Just don’t tell me how much you hate me.” His voice cracks at that, and he can almost feel tears starting to build up in his eyes. He looks away, he just can’t bear looking at Steve right now.

“Eddie… Eddie, I don’t hate you.”
What? Eddie looks back at Steve, eyes wide with surprise.
“Quite the opposite, actually…” Steve awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. He steps closer.
“What?” Eddie can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.

“Look, just let me talk, alright?” Steve seems very determined, and so Eddie nods.
“I totally freaked out. After I kissed you, I mean. I just… I’ve never kissed a boy before. I didn’t even know I wanted to kiss a boy until I met you. I… Robin actually really helped me out with this one.” Steve takes another deep breath. “And I really just needed some time to figure out that I really did want to kiss you. And that I want to do it again. And again, and again, and again until the end of time.” Steve looks at him, desperation in his eyes.

“Do you get what I mean?” Steve’s voice has gone down to a whisper. And oh, how Eddie gets it. He gets it more than anyone ever would, more than Steve himself. And suddenly Steve is on his knees in front of the couch where Eddie is sitting. He takes Eddie’s hands in his and leans in just the tiniest bit, so that his waist is touching Eddie’s knees.

“Please let me kiss you again,” he whispers. Eddie wants to say yes, wants to scream it, but his throat is closed up. So he just nods slowly. As Steve leans in, Eddie expects him to pull back again and laugh. To tell Eddie how stupid he is for thinking that Steve could like him back.

Instead, Steve gently presses his lips to the corner of Eddie’s mouth. Eddie almost chokes, breath hitching. His heart is beating in his throat and the cursed butterflies are doing backflips in his stomach.

Then Steve kisses him. Properly this time. It takes Eddie a second, before he can muster the strength to kiss him back. Their lips move softly against each other, and it’s the sweetest feeling in the world. Steve’s hands are on Eddie’s thighs, squeezing them lightly. He decides that the most appropriate response is to bury his hands in Steve’s hair. He tugs a little, which earns him a small groan from Steve. This really is happening.

Suddenly, Steve breaks the kiss. He presses his forehead to Eddie’s, exhaling shakily. They breathe together for a bit, his hands still in Steve’s hair. When Eddie pulls away, it’s only to pull Steve up on the couch, closer to him. Eddie pulls him closer, and closer, until they are lying down, Steve on Eddie’s chest. Steve is holding Eddie’s hand in his, occasionally placing light kisses on his fingers. After a while he raises his head and looks at Eddie.

“I really fucking like you, Eddie. You know that?”
“I gathered that much,” Eddie jokes. He smiles at him. “I really fucking like you too, Steve.” And then they’re quiet again.

When uncle Wayne comes home, late in the night, he sees two figures intertwined on his pullout couch. He doesn’t question the fact, that the person Eddie’s holding is another guy. He had assumed as much about him already. He’s just glad that he can see a satisfied smile on Eddie’s sleeping face.
“Children,” he huffs, and then he leaves for Eddie’s room. He probably won’t mind his uncle sleeping in his bed for one night. After all, it’s better, than waking them.

The next day, Steve wants to take Eddie out in his car. As if they’re on their first date in high school, Eddie thinks, but he agrees. They drive for a long time, sitting in comfortable silence, listening to Steve’s horrible music. At some point they stop. Steve has driven them into the woods, where not a single soul is close, and Eddie likes it that way.

The air is warm and Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler is playing on the car radio.

“Bonnie Tyler? Seriously?” Eddie says. “I am so judging you right now.”
“What, I like her.” Steve doesn’t sound offended at all. Instead he smirks at Eddie and says, “The song reminds me of you.”
“You’re so stupid,” Eddie says with a laugh. And suddenly Steve starts singing.
“And I need you now tonight. And I need you more than ever.” He is a little flat, but Eddie doesn’t care. “And if you only hold me tight, we’ll be holding on forever.”
“Oh, shut up,” Eddie says. But Steve doesn’t. And Eddie laughs. Not because it’s funny, but because he is happy.

“I could kiss you right now,” Eddie says when Steve stops singing.
“What’s stopping you, Munson?” Steve has that charming grin on his face, and Eddie can’t resist. He leans over the console and presses his lips to Steve’s. Steve’s hands are immediately in his hair, and Eddie lets out a quiet and content hum.
“Forever’s gonna start tonight,” Steve quietly sings into their kiss. And he is right.

Forever’s gonna start tonight.