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Xingqiu is certain he'll get disowned and cut from the heritance if his parents ever find out what's going on in his room right now.
He isn't doing anything illegal of course, not even some kind of rated 18+ stuff. He has simply ignored almost all rules that were given to him by his parents... at once. An impressive achievement, indeed.
But none of his concern, especially not now.
Not while Chongyun is laying on his bed, looking so heavenly with his lashes casting shadows onto his rosy cheeks, the pale blue hair fluffed up just a little.
Oh, he really is gorgeous.
And unconscious.
Which actually is Xingqiu's main problem right now.
He can feel tears prickle up behind his eyelids again but fights the urge to just let them flow. He needs to be strong now, he's responsible to look after Chongyun's well-being.
And that's not looking too good.
Chongyun's clothes are soaked in blood and Xingqiu is sure his silky white sheets are irreversibly stained red already, but what does it matter? He doesn't care one bit.
His parents would, though. So they better never get to know anything about this.
Xingqiu is by no means a medic and it scares him a little to have all that responsibility on his shoulders now, having to somehow patch the other up without Chongyun's consent for using his hydro vision to heal him. There's no other choice, though, so he channels the water. Gently, letting it flow in a steady rhythm, not at all resembling the one his heart is putting up right now.
Oh, his damn heart. It's still beating unnaturally fast, even though the former threat (a Ruin Hunter) is long gone and they're within the safe walls of the Feiyun Commerce Guild, no Ruin Hunters, slimes or any other threats far and wide. These walls are well secluded yet Xingqiu has never felt more helpless before.
This whole adventure has been weird and messed up since the start. Xingqiu had only wanted to practice his sword technique a bit - and because real, living beings are better than the training dummies he's built all by himself out of the completely wrong materials, to practice in his room, careful so no one would ever notice, he went out into the mountains.
It was just supposed to be a harmless little field trip, gather some experience here and there, maybe find a few chests on the way... it wasn't supposed to go this wrong.
Looking back at it, the first mistake was letting Chongyun tag along. His dearest, overprotective YunYun. He lets his gaze wander to the other's bloody body once again, the lump in his throat only growing because he still isn't waking up.
Why isn't he waking up??
Did he do something wrong with his healing?
But he has done that hundreds of times before, the process never differs much, no matter the kind of wound. It isn't his first time waking Chongyun up from being unconscious either. He can't even count all the times he's made sure Chongyun was alright after passing out due to an overflow of Yang energy.
But this time is different.
This isn't about Yang energy.
Chongyun is actually hurt.
And to say Xingqiu is 'totally freaking out about it' is a way too soft wording. He is LOSING HIS MIND!
At the completely wrong time, but he knows that too. He knows quite a lot of things, considering the situation. Sadly, all the wrong things...
For example he knows how special and wonderful and pretty Chongyun is... and how much it pains him to see the other like this.
Of course just because Chongyun is his best friend and he cares about him... that's what friends do after all.
Xingqiu doesn't like the direction his thoughts are trailing in right now. It's the same direction they go whenever he has a weak moment... whenever his facade leaves him and he becomes vulnerable. He always thinks about Chongyun, then.
About his hands, how nice it would be to hold them, about his hair, how fluffy it must be, about his skin, how even his vast vocabulary might not know enough words to describe its softness and of course about his lips. Those pretty pink lips he secretly wishes he could kiss, curious if they would feel cold.
But of course he can't.
Not because you don't just randomly kiss people. Xingqiu is sure he would somehow manage to ask Chongyun about it.
No, the issue are his parents who have told him kisses are an intimate display of affection, only done between a boy and a girl who love each other.
Xingqiu's gaze flickers to Chongyun again who is laying there, so still, it pains his heart. "Oh YunYun.", he murmurs, all to himself "Do you even know how stupid you are?". Yes, Chongyun's actions can't be explained by anything but pure stupidity...
~
Xingqiu has been fighting a few hilichurls, Chongyun in tow who fought beside him, knowing their tactics and movements without having to ask, like always. They had each other's back, clearing out all enemies with ease. At least it had been like that until the Ruin Hunter showed up.
Ruin Hunters were scary machines, made solely to kill and the way they floated above ground didn't make it easy to fight them with weapons like theirs. Chongyun couldn't slam his claymore full force into it like he did with walking creatures and Xingqiu's delicate sword art could do even less against that monster of metal and sharp blades.
Still, they weren't the kind of people to just flee the scene. But they should have... because it had all gone wrong.
Mostly because the Ruin Hunter had solely targeted Xingqiu, no matter how much Chongyun had tried to draw the machine away from him. "Over here, you screeching beast!", he had screamed more than once but that damned thing didn't want to shift its focus. Of course it didn't. They were made to pick a target and kill it, but usually they weren't as stubborn. You could at least distract them.
Needless to say, Xingqiu has been panicking... he can still remember the absolute terror jolting through his veins, trying to stumble backwards to get some cover while the Ruin Hunter was preparing to attack. He didn't have the hint of a chance to fight that thing off... so he prepared to pretty much get sliced in half (as much as one can mentally prepare themselves for that).
But it never happened.
Because Chongyun had thrown himself into the way, using his body to shield Xingqiu from the attack. Heroic, yes, but so so stupid.
Xingqiu looks over to watch Chongyun again. His chest falls and rises, at least but all that blood is really making him worry.
"Oh YunYun...", he mumbles while channelling his hydro power once again "If only you knew...".
He leans closer, taking his time to inspect every detail on Chongyun's face while he feels his breath getting a little steadier "If only you knew how beautiful you are, even like this.".
His fingers itch to draw them over the other's cheeks, feel their softness and squish them just a little. And his lips. Once again, his lips. They seem to draw Xingqiu in like a dark spell and he wishes he could just give in.
Well, he could but that would be creepy and he's not one to act unconsensual. He wants YunYun to still trust him after all of this.
He wants them to still be friends, walking side by side just like they've done all those years.
But will Chongyun ever be able to walk by his side again?
Xingqiu is terrified. Terrified about all that could happen and how it is solely his fault. It should be him laying there right now, his leaking blood enough to serve vampires as a meal for weeks. He should be the one fighting for his life right now.
He can't hold the tears back any longer.
"YunYun.", he manages to mumble in between a few sobs "Don't you dare not waking up! I still need you. I've actually never needed anything more than I need you. It's not only everything you've done for me or our memories, I simply couldn't imagine living without you.", he extends a hand into Chongyun's direction but stops mid-way. It would be wrong. They aren't supposed to touch each other.
"You're so strong, Chongyun. So strong and well-spirited.", the sobs stiffle his voice "Please wake up! I don't want to say 'do it for me' because there's probably someone way more important and I've just failed to see it, but if there's anyone in all of Teyvat who is worth waking up for, please do them that favor.".
Chongyun doesn't move an inch.
Xingqiu can do nothing but stare while feeling all the hopes he has held so close, fade from his grasp and shatter.
"YunYun!", he cries out. Desperate and way too loud, someone will surely hear him, but who cares? Not him! All he cares about is YunYun.
His sweet, lovely YunYun whose heart is too good for his own sake.
The tears roll down his cheeks, warm and salty and even if he wanted to, he wouldn't be able to stop crying. It's all too much.
He doesn't feel like he's losing a friend, he feels like he's losing his world.
Chongyun is his world.
He lets out another cry, loud and pained and feels his hydro power rise to life once again. He doesn't hold back, lets it all out... droplets of water forming in the air, floating there on hold, waiting for Xingqiu to release them.
When he finally does, it looks like a whole bucket is being emptied over Chongyun.
Some ice-cold drops hit Xingqiu's skin too and he shudders.
Someone coughs.
Someone? No, Chongyun!
His YunYun has opened his eyes again, coughing out some more blood but Xingqiu has never felt happier.
"YunYun!", he squeals, rushing over to the other to wrap him into a tight hug (which doesn't work well at all, considering Chongyun hasn't even sat up yet).
"You're finally awake again!", Xingqiu sobs into the fabric on Chongyun's shoulder "I'm so so glad but you really are an idiot, YunYun, I must say that.".
One of Chongyun's arms wraps around his back, pulling him down a little more, so he's now stuck in an awkward position, his toes still on the floor but his body basically pressing against Chongyun's chest.
Archons above, has the air in his room always been this hot?
"I could never stand letting you get hurt, Qiu.", Chongyun answers, a small grin on his face while Xingqiu tries his best to fight back his blush.
"But... I can take care of myself, YunYun! You risked your archonforsaken life for me!"
"And it was all worth it!", Chongyun's smile deepens "Your eyes look like loach pearls, Qiu.".
"D-do you have a concussion? Or is it your Yang energy?", Xingqiu gives up on his fight against the blush "You're saying weird things, YunYun.".
Chongyun tilts his head. Oh dear, he looks cute when he's confused: "But... your eyes are shining, Qiu. Very pretty.".
Xingqiu gets the overwhelming feeling that something is really wrong with Chongyun. Why else would he stay stuff like this?
Because no, his eyes certainly don't look shiny but Chongyun's glisten and glimmer in a mixture of the sunlight falling through the windows, wrapping everything in its golden shimmer and tears that soften Chongyun's gaze.
"You're the pretty one.", Xingqiu scoffs "But you clearly aren't in your right mind, I should go to Bubu Pharmacy and get you some herbs.".
"No need.", Chongyun tries to move a little to prove his point but a pained whimper escapes his lips.
"I'll be back soon. Please try to be quiet, my family would freak out if they saw you here.".
~
"Can you hunt a cocogoat for me?? Please!!!", Qiqi is jumping up and down behind the counter of Bubu Pharmacy "Or a boarberry? I'd even be happy with a few flamangoes!! I just need need need them! No one is believing me those almighty illuminated adeptibeasts exist, so I need to prove my point.".
"Ah... I'm actually here to get some herbs.", Xingqiu tries to be polite and ignore the rising panic in his chest because he feels like having left Chongyun alone for way too long already.
"No adeptibeast, no healing herbs!", Qiqi puts her little hands on her hips "That's a very fair deal!". It literally isn't but Xingqiu won't be rude and tell her that.
"Come on, Qiqi. Let's not bother our customers, alright?", Baizhu enters, friendly as always but Xingqiu doesn't know if that really is his personality or just his greed for all the mora he - as an heir to the Feiyun Commerce Guild - could bring him.
Nonetheless, Baizhu looks genuinely concerned when he turns around to face him: "What do you need? I hope Qiqi didn't bother you.".
"Hey, Qiqi is right here!", comes the instant complaint, but Baizhu leans down to whisper something into her ear and she instantly scurries off, a happy smile lighting up her face.
"So, what's the matter?", Baizhu smiles at Xingqiu again.
"Chongyun is sick.", he blurts out without any further ado.
"Sick?", Baizhu lifts a brow "I've known that boy ever since he was little and usually nothing ever gets him sick - except his Yang energy but I'm sure you know about that... I always see the two of you strolling around together, oh that makes me miss my youth.".
Xingqiu briefly wonders why Baizhu who doesn't look older than 40 would miss his youth, but the green-haired pharmacist has already continued talking: "Can you describe the symptoms of Chongyun's sickness?".
"Uh...", Xingqiu feels his face go a little red "He says weird stuff."
"Weird stuff?", the eyebrow lift once again - Baizhu really is good at that.
"Yeah, he told me my eyes are shining and look like loach pearls. Maybe he accidentally food-poisoned himself and I didn't notice because I always let him eat those self-made popsicles but I don't even know what the ingredients are. I never paid it much mind because I do prefer a good piece of literature over food but maybe Chongyun has changed his recipe and accidentally used something that shouldn't be eaten. Oh archons...", Xingqiu is aware he is just blabbering at this point but Baizhu listens patiently throughout the whole ordeal.
When Xingqiu finally finishes his monologue, he chuckles: "I don't think Chongyun is sick. Rather, I think he's really bad at flirting!"
"Flirting??", Xingqiu is aware his face has probably reached the shade of a Juyeun Chili by now "No, impossible. Why would YunYun flirt with me, I mean...", a nervous laugh escapes his throat, not exactly helping his case.
Baizhu's smile deepens: "Oh, young love... You should go back to wherever you left Chongyun and just talk to him about it. If he does happen to be sick, I'll be here.".
"I- I shall take my leave then.", Xingqiu clumsily says his goodbyes while stumbling backwards.
Flirting?
HIS YunYun who couldn't even form a proper sentence whenever they went stargazing together or Xingqiu read him stories, their bodies only inches apart...
Oh.
Oh archons.
How could anyone be as slow-witted as him?
Especially, how could he be so slow-witted?
He had read countless romance novels yet blissfully ignored all the signs.
~
"YunYun!", he blasts into his room, face still red but a big smile on his lips "I have to ask you-".
He is met with a horrifying sight: Chongyun, kneeling on the floor, head tilted in an angle that doesn't look healthy, held in place by two servants.
"Let him go!", he commands, taken aback by how much he sounds like his father right now. The servants don't let go anyway.
"We found him in your bed, Young Master.".
"I know.", Xingqiu grinds his teeth "I myself put him there. Now let him go, I said. He has my permission to be here!". The servants still look hesitant, so Xingqiu decides to play his final card: "Let him go or I'll tell my father that you disobeyed my orders!".
That finally works. The servants apologize, meaningless words to Xingqiu who dismisses them with a hand gesture similar to the one you use for getting rid of an annoying insect.
As soon as the door has closed behind them, he rushes over to Chongyun, dropping onto his knees next to him: "Are you alright? Oh, archons... I shouldn't have left you here all by yourself, I'm so sorry YunYun."
"It's alright.", the blue-eyed boy gives him a weak smile.
"No it isn't! They treated you like an intruder although they should all be more than familiar with you! Nothing gives them the right to have that kind of attitude towards you. I swear, the next time I see them, I will-"
"Qiu!", Chongyun interrupts him softly "I said it's alright. They just did their job, I don't live here like you do, so it's only normal they were suspicious about me. Let's not let that weigh us down, please. How did your trip to the pharmacy go?".
"Uh.", Xingqiu's blush gives away that he has more than messed up on that part.
"I didn't get any herbs but I...", his voice dies down and he stares Chongyun deep into his ice-blue eyes. A little it feels like drowning in the sea, but pleasant not painful because there's still air reaching his lungs, there's still a floor under his feet, there's still Chongyun to hold on to.
"Qiu?". Oh, he's been staring.
"I- I mean. I'm quite certain I can fix you myself.", his gaze is still lost somewhere in the depths of Chongyun's eyes, so it's only fair he isn't quite in the state to talk right now.
"Fix me?", Chongyun laughs "Do you think I'm broken?".
Xingqiu rapidly shakes his head: "No, not at all. You're perfect, YunYun.".
It takes a few seconds to dawn upon him until he realizes what exactly he has just said. He opens his mouth to try to somehow save the situation, but Chongyun is faster.
"You think so?", a mischievous grin lingers on his face while he scoots a little closer, making Xingqiu lose whatever tiny remnants of his self-control were still left.
Xingqiu can't even answer, he's blushing furiously, praying to whichever archon may hear it to save him from this situation. Sadly, no one seems to care.
Or well, maybe it isn't so sad after all.
Because Chongyun has a gentle smile on his face now, making him shine in that unique way that makes Xingqiu's tummy flutter so warmly. "I think you're perfect too, Qiu. Like my popsicles! But in a different way. They cool me down and taste good but you...", his voice dies down, probably at the realisation his argumentation didn't make sense at all.
If this is his way of flirting, Baizhu was right... Chongyun is horrible at it. Loach pearls? Popsicles?
Even Xiangling, whose only love is food, could do better than that! Xingqiu doesn't care one bit, though. It's his YunYun, so it's perfect just the way it is.
"I've been wanting to tell you-", they both say at the same time, an awkward laugh escaping Xingqiu's throat. Why must confessions (or whatever it is they're stuck in right now) be so hard?
"You can go first.", Chongyun says, shyly lowering his head a little.
Why must he be this cute? Xingqiu can't handle it.
"No, you go first! What I've been meaning to say isn't really important anyway.", he feels his heart sting a little at that lie but he just can't tell YunYun how he feels. He doesn't want to ruin what they have.
"I-", Chongyun's face is concerningly red, so much, Xingqiu already fears an overflow of Yang energy coming right up. It doesn't come, though.
Instead, Chongyun closes his eyes and does a grimace as if he'd just eaten something very sour while he speaks so fast, Xingqiu has trouble keeping up: "I like you, Qiu. I know that's a really lame thing to say but I mean I like you more than that. I like you more than exorcising demons or... wielding my claymore or... all the ice in Dragonspine. You're probably not surprised, I mean I'm your friend so I should like you, but that's the point. I don't like you in a 'friend-way', I like you in a 'taste of popsicles, cold of Dragonspine and some warm weird feeling inside me'-kinda way. I hope you get what I mean. I'm having my eyes closed because I'm scared of your reaction but I've been wanting to confess to you for so long now, but didn't know how to, so I even consulted a few spirits for help. It could still go wrong, of course, and I'm very scared of that, actually. Even more scared than I was when I jumped into that Ruin Hunters way but I guess I-", he stops talking when he feels Xingqiu's fingers brushing over his and slowly opens his eyes.
It is quite the etheral sight. Xingqiu bending forward so he can reach Chongyun's hand, the light of the setting sun illuminating both of them in the prettiest shades of orange and red.
"Do you-", Chongyun is once again cut off by Xingqiu interlacing their fingers.
"Yes.", Xingqiu softly smiles at him "I do.", he pulls Chongyun into a tight hug, not caring a bit about getting his expensive robes stained with blood.
"I do, YunYun! So please promise me to never try to protect me like that again. I can protect myself quite well, you know..."
"I know.", Chongyun's voice is muffled against his shoulder "But I could never stand seeing you get hurt, Qiu! And it was all worth it, in the end, don't you agree?".
Xingqiu nudges his shoulder: "You're still an idiot.".
"Oh, come on.", Chongyun pouts "I was pouring my heart out just now and all you can do is call me an idiot?".
Xingqiu giggles, suddenly feeling ecstatic: "Well, I could also... kiss you, if you'd like that.".
"Yes, please!", Chongyun groans "That way you would at least shu-", Xingqiu brings a hand to the exorcist's cheek, connecting their lips. Chongyun's are soft, though a little cold, and even though none of them know what they are doing, they take their time until they pull away again.
Xingqiu can't help but fondly smile at YunYun.
His YunYun.
"What took us so long?", he smiles, a hand getting tangled in Chongyun's pale blue hair.
"Stupidity on both sides, but more on yours.", Chongyun sticks his tongue out, causing Xingqiu to give him another playful punch.
"Hey is that how you treat your..."
"...boyfriend?", Xingqiu fills in for him "No, but as you haven't even asked me to become your boyfriend - which is clearly your loss - I can do whatever I like.".
"You're mean, Qiu!", Chongyun complains "I thought I'd made it clear that I want to be with you!".
"And I would be stupid to say no.", Xingqiu says, his voice barely more than a whisper before he connects their lips again, feeling Chongyun melt into the touch.
Finally everything is the way it's supposed to be.
Chongyun and him.
It feels like and equation came into place.
Like a planet has finally found its moon.
Chongyun is by his side.
Like before, but in a somehow different way.
No more longing dreams in silent nights.
Because they are together now.
Fitting perfectly like books and a popsicle.