Chapter Text
I want to say I love you
But you left what should I do
I tried to forget you but you left what should I do
Why did you leave me?
And why did I think it was meant to be?
Maybe it was the feeling in my chest that made me decide I am indeed a selfish person. Nonetheless, that painful, clenching feeling remained, even growing stronger the longer I stared at the sight in front of me. Beside him on the balcony stood Lumine, the traveller that had once aided us in the fight against Osial.
Xiao and I were there too, but I remembered how we had forgotten the past we shared to work together in defeating the ancient god. You recalled how Xiao saved Lumine from her fall, Was that how they had taken interest with each other? There's definitely more than that.
It had been a couple centuries since Xiao was mine. To my surprise, Xiao has found someone else. I didn't expect him to, knowing the kind of person he was. But it seems that the sight in front of me was proof that he had changed and he had moved on.
I hate how beautiful the sky was, because it made them look.. happier. I didn't miss the way Xiao was looking at her. To anyone, he'd look indifferent but.. I had known him for more than a millennium, even more than her! He was surely looking at her the way he used to look at me, right?
My eyes blurred.
For a moment, I recalled a moment so similar—a moment I shared with him underneath the setting sun as well. He was looking at me with such a soft expression, as if he had forgotten the sole reason for his existence, the karmic debt that he always had to deal alone, the sins that he had committed.
I wondered if he remembered looking at me the way he looked her. Does he even remember our memory? He doesn't have to cherish it, but does he remember the things we went through together?
He smiled.
'So much for things to stop working for us, huh?'
I took a step back, as if my mind and body had conceded a defeat from a fight that was never started. It was never needed.
'Xiao, does this mean that you could see that better things are more likely to happen between you and her, a mere mortal? Than with me, an adeptus that could assist you during our duties as adepti?'
"[Y/N]." Ver Goldett called out for me from beside me, taking my attention away from them. "I don't know what are the thoughts you have right now but, I want to apologise you had to see that, judging from the past you shared-"
I shook my head, a smile that didn't reach my cheeks was craved up my face. "No, it's okay. I was just.." I breathed for a moment, letting my mind think over my following words. "..It was just my bad for almost interrupting their moment."
My left hand rubbed my elbow, anxiety slowly creeping up behind me as Verr Goldett's eyes continue to scrutinise me. Though, I rarely conversed with Verr Goldett, I had once told her of the past I shared with him.
A small part of me wanted to take my words back and admit that it wasn't actually okay.
"I'll get going then, I'll come back another time, hopefully not when I would almost interrupt such a.. moment."
I left promptly, not even letting her bid farewell. It's funny how I had thought that there might have been a second chance in us. Because judging from that, there'll never be.