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One
Oswald wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, especially not when it came to matters of the heart.
This became abundantly clear as Ed attempted to confess his feelings in the only way he knew how.
A riddle.
“I can’t be bought but I can be stolen with one glance. I’m worthless to one, but priceless to two. What am I?” he asked Oswald, using his fingers to outline the shape of a heart.
There was a pathetically hopeful look on his face as he prayed that Oswald would pick up on the hints that he had been putting down. The two of them had been friends for over a year, and with Ed fresh out of Arkham, he was ready to create a new future for himself. Hopefully one with Oswald in it.
“I don’t care,” he answered in annoyance. “I do not need a stupid riddle right now.”
He understood that Oswald was busy and stressed from becoming the new mayor of Gotham, but it still pissed him off to no end to see that the love of his life was so dense. The answer to the riddle was quite literally right in front of his face. Ed had even gone through the extra trouble of making sure that the riddle wasn’t too complicated since he knew that not everyone was capable of thinking in the same capacity as him.
“I see,” he said, pushing his glasses up.
A lump formed in his throat, and he swallowed hard, trying to keep his composure. He hadn’t felt this disappointed in himself since the incident with Ms. Kringle and he cursed the fact that he was so weird and awkward around the people he loved.
It was only in the following days that he realized just how heavily he’d underestimated both himself and Oswald.
Ed knew that there was something off about Butch from the second the two of them had laid eyes on each other. Maybe it was the way his lips curved into that cocky smile or the fact that he’d worked for every gangster in Gotham’s underground, either way Ed knew that there was something off about him and that he needed to be taken care of.
All it would take was a little bit of pushing and a few properly placed hints to prove that Butch was no good.
It was fascinating being able to watch his paranoia and thirst for recognition get the better of him. Unfortunately, it almost got Ed killed in the process as he revealed his master plan. He knew it wasn't his fault that Butch was such a bumbling idiot, but he still should've taken the time to be extra careful.
“I’m gonna enjoy this you sniveling weirdo,” Butch spat out as he wrung his hands around Ed’s neck.
Ed's vision faded in and out as the air escaped his lungs. Any strength he had was gone and he wasn't able to save himself.
So maybe he didn’t fully think things through seeing as how getting choked to death wasn’t on the agenda.
“No!”
He vaguely heard Oswald scream out but didn’t know the full extent of what occurred in the seconds after he’d become unconscious. It was only when he felt Oswald’s arms wrapped around him that he came back to life.
“Oswald?” Ed asked with a cough.
Initially, the look on his face was one of pure worry, but Ed’s starry-eyed expression did nothing but confuse him.
“Ed,” he said with furrowed brows. “You could’ve gotten yourself killed.”
“No.”
“No?”
I trust you, Oswald,” he said softly. “And I knew you’d save me.”
Oswald’s mouth hung open for a moment before a look of realization flashed over his face. Ed knew that look, he'd seen it in himself a million times before.
“I can’t be bought, but I can be stolen with one glance,” Oswald mumbled. “I’m worthless to one…”
“But priceless to two,” Ed finished for him. “What am I?”
Oswald didn’t waste a single second responding.
“Love,” he whispered before letting out a choked laugh. “It’s love.”
Ed’s heart began to beat out of his chest as he nodded, feeling like he could cry at any given moment.
“Yes,” he breathed out.
He couldn’t bring himself to say anything more than that, fearing that if he did then he wouldn’t be able to stop the tears that were teasing their way into his eyes. But at the very least, Oswald had been able to solve the riddle and he suddenly didn't mind the fact that he'd gotten choked.
There was hope.
Two
Isabella had come out of nowhere and made Ed rethink everything he thought he knew about himself and his love for Oswald.
When he’d met her and seen Ms. Kringle's face, the woman he'd hurt beyond repair, he felt the urge to make things right. Surely that was why the two of them had had their chance meeting? It must have been a sign from the universe and who was he to ignore it?
Isabella was easier to confess to, as well. It was like she instantly knew him and what he wanted, able to see through the countless walls that he'd built up over the years. Logically, she was the perfect person for him to be with, a beautiful woman that thought his mind was just as beautiful. Plus, she was kind and gentle.
Ed liked that in a woman.
To a certain degree, he even thought that she might be better than Ms. Kringle. Kristen had been nowhere near as nice to him upon their first meeting as Isabella had.
Due to that simple fact, he was sure that their relationship might actually work.
He wouldn't kill her like last time.
He refused to kill her.
Even if it meant he'd miss out on a future with Oswald, a future that he so desperately wanted.
So it took him by surprise when he found out that Oswald was the one to kill her.
“How could you?” Ed asked as the two of them stood on the docks. “I loved her.”
He had a gun pointed to Oswald's chest, ready to pull the trigger.
“You barely knew her,” Oswald spat back.
His cheeks were flushed red and sweat ran down the side of his face. Ed didn't like seeing him that way but his brain didn't allow him to say what he truly felt.
That he was actually kind of relieved Isabella was gone.
That he didn't really want her as much as he was letting on.
That he just wanted Oswald.
But he was in too deep to admit it, and he knew that if he saw any hint of smugness on Oswald's face that he wouldn't be able to cope with the embarrassment. His ego wouldn't allow it.
Still though, it was hard not to be sad about it as he gazed upon Oswald's tear filled face and felt the vile taste of regret on his breath. He'd never wanted to be the cause of Oswald's sadness, but as the two of them stood on the docks, he knew that he failed.
And he'd never forgive himself for that.
“Any last words, Oswald?”
His heart thumped out of his chest as he desperately hoped that Oswald would say something, anything that would break him out of his fit of rage long enough to properly confess his feelings like he knew he should've done ages ago.
“You're nothing without me, Edward Nygma,” Oswald said, shaking his head. “When I met you, you were a loser. I made you who you are today. It was all me!”
Wrong answer.
“Goodbye Oswald,” he said simply.
Without wasting any time, he took the shot.
A look of betrayal decorated Oswald's face as he looked down at his bullet wound. It was this look that finally made Ed realize the weight of what he'd just done.
Oswald fell into the water below, quickly accompanied by a splash that made Ed flinch.
He fell to his knees a second later, staring at the pool of blood that had formed. His hands shook as he dropped the gun in the spot next to him. A singular tear fell down his cheek and he clenched his teeth so hard that his head began to hurt.
With a sour laugh, he realized that Oswald had been right about one thing.
He really wasn't anything without him.
Three
Even after Ed royally screwed up his relationship with Oswald by dumping him in the river, the universe still provided him with another chance at confessing.
They were both angry at each other from their previous actions yet they still worked together to save Gotham.
It didn't matter how many bullets and bombs it took, they were determined to save their city no matter the cost. So as he and Oswald sat on the rooftop, sniping any enemies that came their way, Ed wondered if he should speak up. The two of them had been unbearably quiet with each other aside from the occasional insult and it was driving Ed crazy.
He wanted to know what exactly was on Oswald's mind and if he hated him as much as he said.
Ed knew that he'd screwed up but then again, so had Oswald and it would be unfair and untrue to act like he was the only issue in their relationship. Or rather, the lack thereof.
“Oswald,” he said. “We need to talk.”
Oswald turned to look at him, a look of blatant annoyance on his face.
“No.”
With that he turned back to the task at hand, sniping people out from behind his cover. His cold disposition sent a shiver down Ed's spine.
“Oswald please-” he pleaded.
“Ed,” he said through clenched teeth. “I don't want to talk to you right now.”
Ed sighed, a flash of disappointment covering his face. As angry as he was at the idea of Oswald hating him, it wasn't completely unfounded. The Isabella situation had brought out the worst in both of them and he was willing to admit that he jumped the gun when he found out that Oswald killed her.
He just wished that they would talk about it.
“Oswald I really think...”
Ed trailed off as he saw something flying out of the corner of his eye. It seemed to move in slow motion as it fully entered his field of vision and landed in the spot in front of him.
His mind went blank, leaving him immobilized as he vaguely heard the sound of his name being called.
“Ed!”
His body wouldn't move.
It was a full ten seconds later that he finally came to his senses and noticed Oswald pick up the object and attempt to throw it out of the way, but not before it exploded right in front of him.
“Oswald!” he called out, finally moving next to him. “Oh my god.”
Oswald was clutching the side of his face, breathy screams exiting his mouth.
The grenade had exploded a millisecond too early and got Oswald right in his eye. It was a horrifying sight to see the strongest man he knew writhing in such pain. Especially considering the fact that Ed couldn't do a single thing to help him. Lee was somewhere out there taking care of Barbara and the nearest hospital was a few blocks away. Even if he did manage to get him to a doctor, the damage had already been done.
“I'm so sorry Oswald,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief.
He kept Oswald cradled in his arms, doing his best to comfort him despite the circumstances.
“You're okay,” he said to Ed through a choked sob. “As long as you're okay it's fine.”
Ed's stomach twisted into knots as he heard Oswald's words. Any intention he had of confessing quickly turned to dust and he bit down on his lip so hard that he could taste copper.
He was now fully aware of the fact that Oswald was too good for him.
And he deserved so much better than Ed.
Four
Ed didn't know what to do or how to react as Jim Gordon cuffed Oswald.
“What are you doing?” he asked with furrowed brows. “What is this?”
He felt someone grab the back of him and grunted as he tried to struggle out of their grasp. Oswald was cursing at Jim, pure rage dripping from his voice.
“I helped you!” he said hoarsely. “We all helped you and this is how you repay us?”
Ed knew that he shouldn't have trusted Jim Gordon. Every time he or anyone else trusted him, they were betrayed and thrown away like garbage. He didn't know why he thought this time would be any different. Jim Gordon was a pest, a nuisance, and a liar.
Then again, Jim was a cop, so this shouldn't even have come as a surprise. All cops were like that.
Treacherous pigs.
“Let me go,” Ed snarled before turning to Oswald. “He can't do this. We can't let him.”
He stomped on the ground, trying to keep a cool head as he considered their situation and tried to find a way out of it.
Oswald shook his head. There was a look of defeat on his face that made Ed's vision go red. He knew that if there was any time that he should confess his feelings, it should be now. Quickly too, so that he wouldn't have to live the rest of his life regretting the words he'd left unsaid.
“Oswald,” he said softly.
Oswald turned to look at him as he was pushed harshly into the police car. The look was that of a puppy-dog, lost and afraid, a side of himself that he didn't show very often.
“I...”
Ed stuttered out a few words, but as he got closer and closer to saying what was on his mind, his breathing got unsteady and his stomach flipped. Bile rose to his throat.
“Ed?” Oswald asked hopefully.
“I wanted to tell you that...” he trailed off, darting his eyes to avoid Oswald's. “That...”
“This isn't social hour,” Harvey Bullock yelled out before harshly jerking Ed backward. “Say what you wanna say bud, we're going to Arkham soon. You and your little accomplice won't be seeing each other for a very long time.”
Harvey let out a laugh and Ed looked down, ashamed that even in a situation as dire as this one, he was still too afraid. This could very well be his last chance to say anything to Oswald and he was wasting it.
With a disappointed sigh, he finally settled on a response.
“I'll miss you, Oswald.”
Ed wouldn't be able to forget the pained look on his love's face as the door of the police car finally closed and began to drive off towards Blackgate.
Coward.
He knew that he was nothing but a coward, and so did every other Gothamite in the vicinity as they watched Ed and Oswald get separated from each other.
He screwed up.
Again.
Five
During the many years that Ed spent at Arkham, something inside of him changed.
He'd had far too much time to reflect on his feelings for Oswald and he regretted the way he'd acted during their last moments together. He had every chance in the world to tell him how he felt but he screwed it up every time and he wouldn't let it happen again.
Maybe it was the hundreds of electric shocks he'd received as “treatment,” or maybe it was his insanity finally catching up to him, either way, Ed knew that he couldn't let Oswald slip through his fingers again. He was going to have him one way or another and no one was going to stop him.
That was why he spent his time at Arkham meticulously mapping out every possible route he could take to make his grand escape. He had over 100 different scenarios prepared in his head, each tackling any issues he might encounter, and he had marked off the days until Oswald was set to be released, leaving an overabundance of marks carved on his cell wall. But once he'd finally set himself up to make the escape, something strange happened.
The sound of screams could be heard outside of his cell and Ed instantly backed himself into a corner, leaving enough room so he could see what was going on outside. He didn't have a very good view, but he was able to hear gunshots.
He jumped as they got closer to where he was, hoping with all sincerity that whoever was there had no intention of killing him.
“Shit,” he mumbled before furiously searching for a hiding spot.
Unfortunately, Arkham didn't leave many areas for that and he ended up hiding in a place that only a simpleton would think of.
Under the bed.
It was awful, but still better than nothing as he heard footsteps coming from outside of the room. Whoever was there was wearing fancy sounding shoes that made a clacking sound as they hit the floor. Strangely enough, the sound was kind of familiar.
It almost reminded him of...
“Oswald?” he asked aloud before peeking out from under his bunk.
Surely enough, it was the man of the hour.
“Hello,” Oswald said, flashing a smile. “Forgive the suddenness of my visit but I figured I would stop by since I was in the neighborhood. How are you? You look well.” He paused and gave a slight grimace glancing. “For the most part, at least.”
He glanced at Ed's long and greasy hair for a second before holding his hand out to help him up.
“Oswald,” he said with a smile. “You're here.”
“I am.”
“Thank God.”
Ed rushed in, giving him the tightest hug he could muster. There was obvious surprise from Oswald, but ultimately, he hugged him back, resting his head deep into Ed's shoulder.
Ed decided then that he had to tell Oswald the truth by the end of the night. Perhaps after a candlelit dinner and a drink. Something special since they hadn't been together in so long.
But he was getting ahead of himself. The important thing was that he finally had Oswald back and held no intention of letting him go.
His mother did always say that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Plus One
“This is awful,” Oswald said with an empty tone as he and Ed hung from the streetlight. “I can't believe that we got captured by a man dressed like a bat!”
Ed heard the seething tone of his voice and was glad that the two of them were facing away from each other so he wouldn't have to fully experience Oswald Cobblepot's wrath. He knew better than anyone else just how scary the Penguin could be.
“Yup,” he said simply.
“This is ridiculous.”
“Agreed.”
“You know we're gonna have to wait for the police to cut us down?”
“Sounds about right, yeah.”
Ed wasn't at all shocked that things had ended up this way. Every time he had the intention to confess to Oswald, something always went wrong. Whether it was Isabella, Butch, or Jim Gordon, there was always someone there to interfere.
Even when the only thing Ed had planned for the evening was a nice dinner and a movie.
He was starting to think that there would never be a proper time to tell Oswald how he felt.
And if there was never a good time...
Shouldn't he just say it?
The idea sounded completely illogical but it made him wonder if logic was really the approach he should be taking in this situation. Sure, logic had gotten him through most of his life with relative ease, but love was different wasn't it?
It was a matter of the heart not the mind, so to speak.
He couldn't approach it the same way he approached riddles and puzzles. He understood, finally, that he needed to do something different.
“Ed!” Oswald yelled. “Are you even listening to me right now?”
He wasn't.
“No,” Ed said truthfully. “I have something else on my mind.”
Oswald stayed silent for a moment, hesitating before his next response.
“Well what are you thinking about?”
Ed swallowed hard before taking a deep breath and mentally preparing for the moment he'd spent years fantasizing about.
“You...us.”
“Us?” Oswald asked.
“Yeah.”
Ed licked his lips before opening his mouth.
There was no turning back now.
“We've known each other for a long time now,” he began. “And during that time, I know we've had our ups and downs but there's something about our relationship that's always bugged me.” He let out a chuckle. “And that thing has been on my mind for the last ten years.”
“I don't think I understand what you're trying to say,” Oswald said.
Ed sighed.
“What I'm trying to say is that you and I have a very strong relationship with each other and I just think that...” He trailed off, furrowing his brows. “I think that I want us to...”
He was clearly beating around the bush but it wasn't on purpose, it was like his mouth was physically stopping him from saying the words.
“Ed,” Oswald said,“Just spit it out.”
His voice was soft, a stark contrast from the yelling he'd been doing only minutes before. It eased Ed's mind enough for him to take a deep breath and turn his head to the side so he could meet Oswald's eyes.
“Oswald,” he said. “I know this is probably the worst possible time to tell you this but...”
Oswald's eyes lit up.
“I love you.”
The words finally left Ed's mouth and he instantly felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders.
“God I've wanted to say that for so long,” he said with a laugh. “I love you, Oswald. I always have.”
Now that he'd said it once, saying it again felt like no problem at all.
“You love me,” Oswald said breathlessly. “As in love, like romantic love? I wanna be your boyfriend kind of love?”
“Yes,” Ed said with a nod and a grin. “I love you.” Then he paused for a second, letting his excitement fade just a bit. “Do you love me too?”
“Yes!” Oswald answered instantly. “Yes, Edward Nygma, I love you too.”
The two of them looked at each other for a second before bursting out into laughter. They were momentarily able to forget the weight of their situation and just smile.
“We love each other,” Oswald said.
“We do,” Ed replied.
Their cheeks were painted pink as they gazed at each other, feeling like lovesick teenagers.
“I love Oswald Cobblepot!” Ed yelled out.
“I love Edward Nygma!” Oswald followed up with.
The two of them yelled at the top of their lungs, wanting the whole city to know the new status of their relationship.
Ed never thought the day would come that he and Oswald would finally be in the place that he always knew they were meant to be in. But lo and behold, there they were.
“Uh excuse me.”
They heard a voice coming from below them and craned their necks, looking down. At the foot of the streetlight was Jim Gordon and Harvey Bullock, both of which looked awfully confused at the situation taking place in front of them.
“I'm glad you two have sorted through your feelings,” Bullock said.
“Thank you,” Oswald called out.
Harvey gave them a thumbs up and a wide grin.
“Congrats!”
His smile dropped.
“But you're still under arrest.”