Work Text:
It's not typical for Akito to stay up late. He usually has a pretty normal sleep schedule, and gets to bed on time. This time, though, he finds himself staring at the time on his phone, waiting for a text or call or something. He feels sick to his stomach- that weird nauseous feeling where you can feel puke about to come up your throat, but it won't. The room is completely darkened, and it feels colder than usual. Maybe that's just Akito being dramatic. He's huddled under a mound of blankets, phone screen held close to his face as tears streaked his face. Akito holds down the power button on his phone, hitting the "Restart" button when it comes up. Maybe his phone just wasn't working and Toya had already texted him? That has to be it.
Akito sits up quickly after his phone turns back on to reveal that there are still no notifications. He sat up a bit too quickly, and ended up falling back down onto his mattress again. The ceiling is spinning, and it makes Akito even more nauseated than before. He stands up slowly this time, standing up from his bed and taking his phone off of the charger beside his bed. Maybe a shower will help him calm down. It was way too late for him to be taking a shower, but as long as he was quiet, he should be fine. Right?
He walked to the bathroom as quietly as he could, having memorized which boards squeak and which don't at this point. He sneaks out of the house sometimes, but only when he has to. He's good at recognizing footsteps too- his father's footsteps sound different from anyone else's in the house. He knows the sound of them approaching his room a little too well.
He turns the knob of the shower when he gets inside of the bathroom, cringing at the loud sound it made. It was farther from his father's room, and their walls were thick, so he probably wouldn't be able to tell. After awhile of waiting for the water to warm up and breathing steam, Akito opens a music app on his phone. He uploads some of their songs, and he wanted to listen to some while he showered. As long as it was low volume, it should be okay. He lets the phone start playing and steps into the shower
*
It was maybe 1:00 in the morning when Akito got into the shower. Ena had heard him start the shower, and thought nothing of it. She takes late night showers whenever she forgets to do it in the morning, so she listens to the sound of the water while scrolling through her phone. That was until-
"KAMAWANAI DE NAI DE HANARETE ITE-"
It is way too early in the morning for Akito to be screaming his lungs out to the gay song he wrote with his 'best buddy'. Ena stood from her bed and threw the phone aside, walking out of her room to knock on the bathroom door, loudly.
"Akito! Shut! The fuck! Up!" Ena yells, the swear being quieter than the rest of her sentence. She would like to pretend that she was telling him to be quiet for her own comfort, but they both know that their dad would be pissed if he was woken up by Akito screaming. After she confirmed that Akito was actually going to stop screaming, she went back to her room and waited. She heard the water turn off, then the bathroom door opening a few minutes later, and then the sound of Akito's dorm opening and closing. She waited for a few more minutes before quietly opening her own bedroom door, walking down the hallway to Akito's. She knocks on the door, and is surprised to see Akito actually let her in.
He's a bit of a mess. His hair is still wet from the shower, and there's wet lines down his cheeks that are obviously from crying. His eyes are red and puffy, and his breathing is shallow. It's honestly kinda depressing to see her brother like that.
'What?" Akito asks, his voice cracking a little when he spoke. Ena looks up at him with a slightly sympathetic expression.
"Did your boyfriend break up with you or something?" Ena asks, the tone of her voice mostly being joking, but there's still a hint of sympathy in there. Akito's her brother, after all.
"He's- Toya's not my boyfriend. I have- no clue what you're talking about." Akito argues, his breath hitching in between words. Some tears form in his eyes, and Ena feels like she struck a nerve.
"Yeah sure. Just fix whatever angst you two have going on. Screaming in the shower at one in the morning is not normal." Ena explains, crossing her arms in front of herself as she speaks. Akito looks to the side.
"Sorry." Akito replies, tears starting to roll down his cheeks again. He closes the door before Ena can say anything else, leading her to shrug and walk back to her own room. He'll figure it out.
*
Akito leans against the door after closing it, rubbing his eyes with the sleeves of his shirt. It's fine! Toya will message him when he's ready. It's f-
The phone set on his bed chimes twice, and Akito almost trips while running to grab it.
1:23 AM
toya
Can we meet up?
I want to talk in person
The tears rolling down Akito's face are out of happiness this time, a dumb smile coming to his face as he unlocks the phone to respond.
akito: same place as usual?
toya: Yeah
Akito goes to change out of his sleeping clothes, and instead into a clean t-shirt and some jeans. He grabs the jacket hung up in his closet and practically runs out of the house. He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket.
ena: good Luck
akito: what are you talking about.
*
The park is really pretty at night. It's so silent...tranquil, even. That's a fancy word. Akito shudders, the thin jacket he threw on doing virtually nothing against the chilled air of the night. He really hopes Toya arrives soon- he's freezing his ass off.
As that thought crosses his mind, Akito hears someone walking up behind him. He turns to see Toya, hands in his pocket and hood up on his head. Akito feels a sudden pit in his stomach, realizing that Toya could've just invited him here to tell him to never talk to him again, and to leave him alone for good. Why is that the worst case scenario to him?
When the two are finally close enough to each other to actually be able to see the other's face, they stand there in silence. Toya looks...anxious? His hands are now out of his pockets, and he's messing with the sleeve of his jacket. His eyes are looking at everything but Akito- is that a blush on his face? What the hell?
"What- what'd you wanna talk about?" Akito asks, his voice cracking on the first "what". Embarrassing. Toya takes down his hood, looking to the side instead of making eye contact. He looks more anxious than he did a few seconds ago. Akito steps a bit closer, putting a hand on Toya's arm and looking up at him with a concerned expression. Toya looks at him, then immediately turns away, face reddening. Why the hell is he acting so weird?
"Toya??" Akito calls his name, and Toya takes in a deep breath, turning so that the two are now making eye contact. Akito's hand moves down, contemplating whether or not he should try and hold his hand or something. Would that be cringe? That's probably cringe. Before he can rationalize if holding hands is cringe or not, his hand moves down to grasp Toya's. His hand is cold compared to Akito's, in a weirdly comforting way. He's so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn't feel Toya moving their hands to be comfortably intertwined instead.
Akito snaps out of his brief trance and finally notices that Toya is blushing- a lot. Is he sick? Literally what the fuck. Why is he not talking. This sucks!
"Dude, are you sick or someth-" Akito is cut off by Toya grabbing his other hand, his grip weirdly strong all of a sudden. His eyes are shiny? What?? What is this guy's problem? Akito can't stop himself from staring into his eyes. They're pretty, especially since their only source of light is the moon and a random streetlight. He feels his own face start to redden as well. While staring at his best friend's really pretty eyes, his gaze trails off to the slight bruise on Toya's face. Oh fuck. Did he really punch him that hard?
"Akito...I'm sorry." Toya finally manages to spit out, and Akito feels his heart shatter and melt and explode and combust all at the same time. Why is Toya the one apologizing? He didn't really do anything that bad- Akito was the worse of the two in that situation. The apology sounded so genuine. His voice trembled when he said Akito's name. It made him want to fall over and apologize for everything he had ever done in his entire life.
"What? I should be the one apologizing, dude. Does that still..." Akito's words trail off as his hand reaches up to touch the bruise, stopping just before touching it. If it does hurt, he doesn't want to touch it and make it hurt worse. Toya shakes his head and reaches up to hold Akito's hand again, making his heart implode on itself once again. This is horrible. Akito feels tears prick at his eyes again, his breath hitching as he tries not to start crying again. Toya obviously catches that, his expression shifting into more of a concerned look rather than anxious. As the tears start to roll down Akito's face, Toya looks like he has no clue what to do. Toya's arms move from Akito's own and instead pull him into a tight hug. Akito feels himself start to shake, hands moving to grab the back of Toya's jacket as he cries. They stand there for awhile, Akito sobbing into Toya's shoulder and Toya running his hands through his hair while whispering comfort to him. If you didn't know the two, you would assume that they're gay, and in a relationship. If you did know the two, you would also assume that they're gay, and in a relationship.
When Akito finally pulls away, Toya is still holding onto him, one hand reaching to wipe away some of Akito's tears with his hand. His hand lingers for awhile on his cheek, a faint smile crossing his lips. Akito feels like he's going to die. Before Toya can pull his hand away, Akito brings up his own hand, letting it rest on Toya's cheek this time. Toya leans closer to Akito, which takes the other by surprise. There's a kind of awkward tension between them, both of them waiting for the other to make a move. Akito decides to take initiative.
Akito leans in closer to Toya, their faces close enough to feel the heat from their blushes coming off of the other. Toya is beautiful up close. His eyes are this weird light grey color, and he has a mole just beneath his right eye. Why are his eyes so shiny? He feels like he could get lost in them.
Akito comes to the realization that he is gay.
Toya is the one that closes the gap between them, the kiss being hesitant at first, pretty much just a peck, but it eventually became an actual kiss. When the two pulled away, they stared at each other, both of them catching their breath. A small party popper was heard in the distance, but Akito chose to ignore it.
"Why me?" Akito eventually asks, voice shaking as he speaks. Toya tilts his head in confusion, and Akito sighs, briefly shoving his face into Toya's shoulder.
"Why not some girl? You're so pretty. Why go for me of all people?" Akito asks again, and Toya laughs, making Akito shrink back into his own jacket.
"Akito...I'm gay." Toya confesses, and Akito feels like the dumbest guy on earth. Of course Toya is gay.
"Oh." Akito chokes out. Toya kisses him on the cheek, and they start to walk back to Akito's house. Another party popper is heard in the distance, as well as a party horn. Again, Akito chooses to ignore them.
*
Akito spends the rest of the night thinking about Toya, and what the hell just happened. They're gonna have to talk about what this means for their relationship later, but it's pretty obvious. He falls asleep smiling to himself. Like an idiot.