Chapter Text
Ah, summer break. A time for leisure, recreation, and taking her easy…
Unless you’re me.
“AHHHHHHHHH!” Nine different voices cried out in fear as a golf cart crashed through a billboard… followed by a second golf cart flying through the exact same hole. Both touched down on the dirt road ahead of them and proceeded to speed away, flanked by pines and redwoods that made up the forest on either side of the road. Behind them all, the ground trembled as quick, thunderous footsteps signified the approach of a gigantic being, chasing the two fleeing karts.
“It’s getting closer!” a younger brown-haired girl said to the rest of the kids, looking over her shoulder to gauge the distance of their pursuer.
Both drivers accelerated to try and outpace the monstrous being chasing them, doing so just in time to miss swipes of their massive claws. Accidentally driving over an oddly smooth pile of rocks, one of the karts spun in the air and flying over the other kart that swerved to the other side of the road. When it landed safely again, both karts continued with their escape.
“Keep it steady Gwen! I can’t get a good shot!”
“This is not how I pictured my sumerrrrrrrr!”
“Woo-hooo!”
“Come on you stupid watch! Work already!”
“Perhaps if you listen to my instructions, the timeout function would have not gone off prematurely.”
I should probably introduce everyone, shouldn’t I?
Well, my name is Maxine Tennyson. I’m the blonde girl hanging from the back of one of the karts.
The boy in between the similar-looking kids is my younger brother Ben.
The boy driving the kart that we’re on is Dipper Pines.
The girl on the other side of Ben and about to puke is Dipper’s twin sister Mabel.
Next to me and also hanging off the back of the kart is Trixie. I'll tell you about her later.
Driving the other kart is my cousin Gwen.
Next to her and the only one appropriately dressed for summer is Steven Universe.
The boy on the back of their kart with the tight t-shirt is the twins’ older brother, Mack.
And finally, to round us all off is Aqua. She’s standing on the roof of the other kart and is aiming the head of a guitar at the monster chasing us. She’s also Mack’s twin sister.
Now, you may be wondering why exactly there are nine kids in golf karts, racing through a forest and trying to escape from a monster of unimaginable horror.
Well, rest assured, there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this. But I should probably start at the beginning…
IX AGaMOM! IX
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
“Ngh…” Maxine Tennyson groaned and rubbed her eyes as her alarm rung at an absurdly unreasonable hour of the day. 5 am to be precise. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she forced herself to push her body out of bed and get ready. Fortunately, Maxine’s parents had made both her and her brother, Ben, prepare the night before.
Prepare for what exactly? Only to stay with their grandfather up north for the whole summer. Ben had been anticipating the trip greatly, excited to have some adventures out in the woods. Maxine had been… less excited about the idea of leaving her home for a whole summer. Don’t get her wrong, she didn’t think she was going to hate spending time with her grandfather out in central Oregon, but she also wasn’t keen on the idea of leaving her comforts and single friend behind to do so. Her parents had eventually convinced her that it’d be a good experience to go, and also that she rarely got to see the grandparent she was named after.
Putting the brown pants and white top she left on top of the dresser from the night before, Maxine took her favourite yellow bomber jacket from the hook on her bedroom door and slipped her arms through it, a few pins decorating the rugged piece of outerwear.
Finished with the outfit she was going to wear for presumably the next eight or so hours, Maxine swung open her door and navigated to the kitchen in the dimly lit summer morning. Illuminating her surroundings, a slight bit more with the fridge, Maxine pulled out some snacks she had prepared for the trip, along with some oatmeal clusters for breakfast. With the food settled, she placed all of it on top of her suitcase in the living room and went back further into the house.
Stopping in the same hallway that led to her own room, she knocked on the door of her younger brother, most likely rousing him from slumber.
“Ben, time to get up. We need to get to the bus station to catch the one to Gravity Falls.” Max yawned, still a bit groggy from her own awakening.
A groan and a thud came from Ben’s room, which was as good of an answer as Maxine was going to get, so she moved back into the living room. Taking the food off of her suitcase and putting it into its own insulated storage. By the time she had finished, Ben had wandered out still in his Pyjamas.
“Ben, you need to change.” Maxine pointed out.
“Yeah, yeah. I…” Ben paused to yawn, “I know.” And with that, he trudged back the way he came. Maxine gave a soft smile before turning back to her packing and determining if everything was secure.
Her packing was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Wondering who it was, curiosity drew Maxine to the front door to see who was coming to their house at this hour of the morning.
Whatever Maxine was expecting, it wasn’t the ginger hair of her younger cousin Gwen. A perfectly awake, Gwen. The younger girl was dressed in her typical ensemble of a blue t-shirt with a simplistic cat face on the chest and a white long-sleeved undershirt, tan cargo shorts, and her bangs swept to the side and held in place by a blue pin.
“Gwen? What are you doing here?” Maxine said, voicing her curiosity.
“Mom and Dad said it’d be a good idea for me to spend the summer with Grandpa, and not quote ‘doing something I’ve meticulously planned’. And since you guys were already going, they decided to drop me off here so I could go with you.” Gwen explained.
Maxine nodded. “Well, cool. I’d invite you in but we’re going to leave as soon as Ben changes.”
As if summoned, Ben appeared in view of the open door, except now he wore his white shirt with a black stripe down it, and brown cargo pants.
“Gwen? What are you doing here?”
“She’s coming to Gravity Falls with us.” Max supplied.
Ben grinned. “Awesome. Hope you can keep up with us, Dweeb.”
Gwen grinned back. “That doesn’t even make sense, Doofus.”
IX AGaMOM! IX
By the time the three Tennysons had boarded their bus north to Gravity falls, there were a few other passengers on said bus. And by a few, there were four. Two tweens about as old as Gwen, and two teens a year or two older than Maxine. There were two boys and two girls of alternating ages, which was to say there was a teen and tween of each. All four looked remarkably similar to one another, all sporting hazelnut hair and small slime noses, the only outlier being the teen girl who had a strand of her hair dyed an electric blue. If a guess had to be made, one could say that the four of them were siblings.
The younger boy wore a blue vest with an orange shirt, grey shorts and a tan cap with a star on the front. He seemed to be engrossed in the book he was reading, the cover being obscured by his fingers.
Next to him sat the older girl, her brown and blue highlighted hair done up in a ponytail that sat on the back of a black leather jacket. She wore a blue shirt under the jacket, and light brown pants and seemed to be practising on an electric guitar. She was leaning her feet on the seat in front of her and using her legs to prop up some sheets of paper.
On the opposite side of the bus were the younger girl and older boy. The younger girl was eagerly looking out of the window at the suburban scenery. She was wearing a bright pink sweater with a shooting star on it, had long bushy hair held back with a headband, a purple skirt, and her exuberant grin clearly revealed a set of braces.
The last boy was well-built and wore a forest green t-shirt that seemed to only just fit him. He also had camo shorts in two different shades of grey. His hair was short and choppy, slightly tilting upwards at the front. He was leaning his head back and staring absently at the ceiling.
Maxine, Ben and Gwen took their seats near to the front of the bus, away from the other kids who they didn’t know. After they felt the inertia of the bus moving forward and the rumbling of the large engine, both Ben and Gwen took out electronics, a portable console and laptop respectively, whilst Maxine retrieved a sketchbook from her backpack.
“Hi, there I’m Mabel!”
“Sweet mother of Jesus!” Maxine recoiled in shock as the younger girl suddenly appeared behind the seat she was sitting on, having seemingly teleported from her position near the back of the bus.
The older girl heard the commotion and looked up from her papers. “Mabel!” she said, putting her things down on her seat as she stood up and walked to where they were.
“What have I told you about sneaking up on people?!” The older girl turned to Maxine, Ben and Gwen, who was still a little shaken by the greeting ‘Mabel’ had given them. “Sorry about that, Mabel here is a little… forward, when it comes to introductions. I’m Aqua Pines, by the way. You’ve already met Mabel, and the boys back there are our brothers, Mack and Dipper.” Aqua jerked a thumb over her shoulder and towards the remaining occupants of the bus. “Mack’s the big one and Dipper’s the dorky one.”
“Hey...!” an objection came from the back of the bus.
“Uhhhhhh, I-I’m Maxine Tennyson. Th-this is my brother Ben, and our cousin Gwen.” Maxine said, introducing her own family timidly as she looked up to the lanky teen.
“We’re going to Gravity Falls, what about you guys?!” Mabel asked, still keeping her upbeat attitude.
“We’re also going to Gravity Falls. We’re spending the summer there with our grandpa.” Gwen answered.
Mabel gasped. “Us too! Well, we’re staying with our great uncle. But we’re spending our summer there too! We could hang out!”
“Mabel kinda tends to skip a step or two in the whole ‘meeting a new face’ thing,” Aqua explained. She took the seat next to Mabel and behind Maxine. “So how about we take things a little slower? Are your parents forcing you to spend the summer out in the wilderness too?”
“No.” “Yes.” Maxine and Ben answered, with Gwen opposing them. Aqua raised an eyebrow in response.
“Max and I wanted to go stay with Grandpa, Dweeb has to ‘cuz she a robot,” Ben explained.
“Hey!” Gwen looked up from her computer and glared at Ben in offence.
“I’m not hearing a noooooo.” Ben teased. Gwen rolled her eyes and returned to her computer.
Aqua chuckled at the Tennysons' interaction. “You guys sure are family, even if you don’t really look like it if you’ll excuse me saying.”
“Eh, no problem. Max got Mom’s genes, same as Gwen and hers.” Ben said with a shrug.
“Heh, yeah. Us four are all twins so we pretty much got cut from the same cloth.” Aqua said.
“Wait, how are all four of you twins?” Gwen asked, confused as to the age difference between half of them.
“Well, Aqua and I are twins, whilst Dipper and Mabel are twins as well.” A new voice said. Looking to the side, everyone saw that Mack Pines had moved up the bus and was now sitting opposite the group at the front.
“Talk about lightning never striking twice, huh?” Aqua grinned. “Doesn’t help that our birthdays are only a day apart either.”
“Whoa! That’s crazy!” Ben remarked, stunned at the revelation.
“How do your parents manage?” Maxine asked.
“Pretty easily,” Aqua answered. “I make sure to help Mabel and Dipper moderate, and Mack is literally the best person alive. Like if you turned a cinnamon bun into a human being”
The Tennysons’ eyes turned to Mack, who simply shrugged. “I won’t deny that.”
“Well, regardless,” Aqua continued, “we’ve got another eight hours ‘till we get to Gravity falls, so why don’t we tell one another a little bit about ourselves?”
“Ooh! Ooh! Me first!” Mabel said, eagerly raising her hand.
IX AGaMOM! IX
“Here we are, kids.” The current bus driver announced to the young Pines and Tennysons, the bus coming to a stop beside a remote bus station, surrounded by trees that led deep into the forest beyond. “Gravity Falls Oregon, enjoy your stay.” He opened the doors to allow all seven kids to disembark.
“Ugh, finally,” Aqua said as she stretched her body. “That last rest stop felt forever ago. Eight hours on any bus is too much for anyone.”
“Oh, come on Aqua, it wasn’t that bad,” Mabel said, “We did get to play all those games of eye spy!”
“Please, never remind me of how I had to sit through seventy consecutive games of eye spy again, Mabel.” Dipper grimaced. “I’m just glad I found someone else who likes the Spirit Morph saga.”
“Me too.” Agreed Gwen, being the person in question. “I seriously don’t get how it isn’t popular!”
“Uh, because it’s a book, duh?” Ben mocked. “Nobody likes those things.”
“Ayooooo!” Mabel yelled, siding with Ben.
“Traitor,” Dipper said, mocking hurt.
“Hey, Mack! Give me a Hand!” Aqua called to her twin, wrestling with their luggage to get it out from under the bus.
“Oh, uh, I can help,” Maxine offered, approaching Aqua.
“Ah, no sweat. Mack and I’ll get everyone’s luggage out, we still owe you for those great snacks after all.”
“It was like unicorns were partying in my mouth…” Mabel commented, drool trickling down her chin as she reminisced about Maxine’s cooking. Maxine only looked away and hid her embarrassed blush inside her jacket.
Once all of the luggage was removed from the bus, another vehicle replaced it once it had driven away. A large, eggshell white RV with both a red and a blue stripe running around it. Coming to a complete rest, and waiting a few seconds, the door opened to reveal an older man wearing a patterned shirt, tough boots, dark pants and a flat broad-brimmed hat.
“Hey kids,” Maxwell Tennyson greeted his grandchildren.
“Grandpa!” They chorused back, running up to give him a hug.
“Heh, heh. How are you all doing? Had a nice trip?” Grandpa Max then noticed the four other kids standing a few feet away, luggage at their feet. “Made some new friends I see.”
“Oh! Grandpa, these are the Pines Twinses,” Maxine introduced, using the word (twinses) that Aqua had told her. “Aqua, Mack, Dipper and Mabel.”
Grandpa Max hummed in acknowledgement, standing up from hugging his grandkids. “Nice to meet you, I’m Maxwell Tennyson. Now, let me guess. You’re Stanford’s grandkids, right? Never knew the man married.”
“He’s our Great Uncle, actually.” Mack corrected. “We’re here to spend the summer with him.”
“Well, I guess that does explain it a little more.” Grandpa Max chuckled. “Well, I’m the Ranger about these parts. So, if you need anything out in the forests, just let me know and I’ll be glad to help. Speaking of which, do you kids want a ride to your uncle’s?”
The pines glanced at one another, and after a brief pause, they shrugged together before looking back to Grandpa Max. “Sure. It beats walking at least.”
“Great, come on then kids. All aboard the Rust Bucket.” Grandpa Max said, waving over his shoulder as he turned around and walked through the door to the mentioned RV. Soon, he was joined by all six of the kids.
“Wow! Do you live here?” Mabel asked, awing at the mobile home’s features like the fridge and sink.
“Yes, I do actually. But I’ve also got a Cabin near the Gravity Falls campgrounds.” Grandpa Max answered, getting into the driver’s seat as the rest of the kids founds seats of their own. Grandpa Max then turned his head and looked over his shoulder at his grandkids. “You three will be staying there. I thought that the RV may be a little cramped for all four of us.”
“So, Grandpa,” Ben began, “What are we going to be doing this summer?”
“Oh, well Ben I’ve got a few things planned for us, but I still have my duties as a ranger.” Grandpa Max explained. “So, I’ll be out when I need to be, but I’m going to try and make as much time for you kids as I can. Not much happens around Gravity Falls that needs my attention anyway.”
Ben’s excitement seemed to be muted slightly from the revelation that his grandfather wouldn’t be spending all his time with them.
“But hey, look on the bright side,” Grandpa Max continued, “This gives you time to spend with your new friends.”
“Yeah, I guess so…”
The rest of the trip to the Pine’s Uncle’s Shack was done in idle chatter, mainly consisting of the Pines twinses telling Grandpa Max about themselves. But just a few minutes later, the Rust Bucket pulled up outside a house that had the name ‘Mystery Shack’ posted up on the side of the roof in large wooden Letters.
“Here we are, Kids. Stanford Pines’ locally famous mystery shack.” Grandpa Max announced. “I’d help you with your luggage, but I’d think it best if we got going. Stan and I aren’t exactly good friends.”
“Huh? Why’s that?” Dipper asked curiously.
“Let’s just say I don’t exactly approve of some of his ‘business practices’. And he doesn’t like the way I disapprove of them.” Grandpa Max answered, using finger quotes to emphasize his sentence. All the Pines nodded in vague understanding, having heard enough about their Great Uncle’s deeds to know what Grandpa Max meant.
“Well, thanks for the ride anyway, Mr Tennyson,” Mack said.
Grandpa Max chuckled. “Please, you can call me Grandpa Max. Practically all the kids in Gravity falls do.” He smiled warmly, which caused a pleasant feeling to bloom in the Pines twinses’ stomachs.
Taking their suitcases and backpacks, the Pines disembarked the old RV and waved goodbye as it drove around the dirt path outside the shack and disappeared back into the woods. Once it had completely left their sight, the twinses stopped to truly take in the place they would be spending the entirety of their summer vacation.
“This place is a dump.” Aqua immediately observed.
“I think it has character!” Mabel said optimistically.
“No, no. Aqua’s right. This is a dump.” Dipper agreed.
“With character!”
Dipper rolled his eyes at his twin, choosing to move towards the house instead of enabling her antics. Mack did the opposite and affectionately rustled Mabel’s hair before following.
Leaving their trollies on the ground as they climbed the few steps up the porch, Aqua knocked on the door before stepping back and waited for it to be opened. Muffled noises of rummaging and footsteps came from beyond the door, followed by what the twinses could only assume was a curse. At last, the door finally swung open to reveal an older man wearing a black suit, shoulder pads, an eyepatch and a fez with some sort of golden symbol on it.
“Hi and welcome to the Mystery Shack!” The man greeted, a cane with an 8-ball on the top in his left hand, whilst his right gestured to the shack in question.
“Um, Stanford Pines?” Aqua assumed.
“Yep, Mr Mystery himself. Now, what can I do for you kids? A tour of our shack’s most mysterious commodities? That’s only fifty bucks, each.”
“Uh… no?” Aqua shrugged, a little off-put by her great uncle’s blatant money-grabbing. “We’re your nieces and nephews, Aqua, Mack, Dipper and Mabel? Our parents sent us to stay with you for the summer?” Aqua reminded.
Stan stood there for a few moments, blinking at them. Then, realization struck him, and he snapped his fingers. “Ah, right, Shermie’s grandkids! Almost forgot you were coming. Please, please, step inside.”
As the twinses did just that, they soon realize that the inside of the shack did not look much better than its outside. Yet Mabel continued to be awed by it.
“As you can see, I’ve turned my humble home into the most popular tourist attraction this side of Orogen!” Stan proudly said, showing off the poorly made attractions that sat around the make-shift museum.
“But aren’t we in the middle of Orogen?” Dipper asked.
“Now, whilst I did agree with your parents that I’d let you stay here,” Stan continued, completely ignoring Dipper, “I’m not just letting you stay here and freeload off of me. No, no, you three are going to be working in the shack if you wanna stay here.” Stand pointed a finger at his nieces and nephews. “Now come on, it’s time to meet your co-workers.” And with that, he began walking again.
The twinses looked to one another, shrugged, and followed their Great Uncle. When they caught up to him, he was standing next to a stepladder that held a hefty man in his early twenties with a sort-of moustache wearing a cap and a question-mark t-shirt. From where they were standing, the twinses could also make out the word ‘Staff’ on the back of the same t-shirt.
“Kids, this is Soos,” Stan introduced, “He’s the handyman around here. If something breaks, get him. If a customer breaks something, make sure to charge em’ first, and then get Soos.”
“Sup hambones.” Soos greeted, shooting a finger at them and not paying attention to the exposed wiring he was working on. The twinses replied with various hellos and heys.
“Alright, that's enough of that,” Stan said, walking away from where Soos was and into what appeared to be the Shack’s gift shop, the only inhabitant being a ginger teen in a green flannel shirt reclining at the counter.
“And this is my only other employee before you lot, Wendy,” Stan said to the twinses before turning to Wendy. “Wendy these are your new coworkers.”
“Hey,” Wendy greeted lethargically, not taking her eyes off of the magazine she was holding.
Stan turned back to the twinses. “Now, I’ve got a room set up for you all in the attic, so go up there and unpack. It’s almost the afternoon rush, and I want all hands on deck. And by all hands, I mean yours. Chop-chop!”
The Pines kids obliged, hauling their luggage up a flight of stairs and through a door that led to a room with a triangular window at one end, two beds beneath it, and two more beds at the other side of the room.
Mabel immediately ran over to the bed right of the window and jumped on top of it to start unpacking her bulky backpack.
Aqua shrugged and turned to the opposite set of beds, choosing the one on the same side of the room as Mabel’s. She wheeled her trolly (which Mack had helped carry up the stairs) over to the side and began taking the black cases off of it.
“Man, this place is great! Check out all my splinters, guys!” Mabel showed her siblings her hands, which were full of painful-looking ships of wood.
“Aaaand there’s a goat on my bed,” Dipper said, unimpressed when he noticed the bed left of the window had a small, one-horned goat standing on top of it. Interested, Mabel came over to look, only to have the goat begin eating her sweater.
“Heh heh, yes you can keep chewing on my sweater, Mr Cutie.” Mabel cooed at the goat. Mack chuckled and then walked over to his two younger siblings and the goat.
“Okay Mr Goat, Time to go back to the wilderness,” Mack said as he picked up the goat, causing it to stop chewing Mabel’s clothing. He then dropped the goat out of the nearby window.
“Uh, Mack? Is he going to be okay?” Dipper asked his older brother, referring to the goat.
“Ah, he’s fine. He’s a goat!” Mack said with full confidence. Dipper just shrugged, finding no point to argue back, and dropped his backpack onto the now goat-free bed.
“Kids!” The siblings heard their Great Uncle call from downstairs, “Get down here! I need you all working the gift shop!”
All four dropped the rest of their respective luggage near or on their new beds and walked back down the stairs.
“I guess this, is how we’re going to be spending the next three months then…” Aqua commented to her siblings, who nodded in solemn agreement.