Work Text:
darth.vader@imperialhighcommand .cor
Inbox: 15,849
From: [email protected]
Subject: Phd Placement Student from University of Coruscant
Dear Lord Vader,
My name is Criskeon Flowryl and I am from Onderon, currently studying at the University of Coruscant, on placement with the Religious Liberty section (C4) of the Unit for Cultural Diversity of the Imperial Commission. I am in my second year of a PhD on religious discrimination by the Jedi Order during the Clone Wars. I was hoping that your Lordship would be available for an interview on the persecution that he, as a Sith Lord, suffered at the hands of the Jedi Order.
Let me know if you would be amenable to this interview. I will send over a holonet schedule invitation, a copy of the consent form for you to sign and further information about my PhD.
Thanks!
Yours sincerely,
Criskeon Flowryl
PhD student at the University of Coruscant
HOLONET SCHEDULE INVITATION
[email protected] is inviting you to a scheduled meeting on 19 AFE Month 7 at 0900 time.
Subject: Followup to test of the Death Star
From: [email protected]
Subject: Application to Imperial Flight Academy 18 AFE Luke Skywalker
Attached: luke_skywalker_flight_academy_18AFE_final.pdf
Dear Lord Vader,
This is the application on-file for Luke Skywalker, see the attached file. We responded inviting him to an holonet interview, but we never heard back. (I assume he was too busy joining the Rebellion’s flight academy. Bad choice, it’s far less prestigious than ours.) He would have been a diamond in the coal, so it’s a shame.
Do come round to show the new students how to really fly - you are our best visiting professor by far. Most loved for certain! The mechanic team all miss you.
Best wishes,
Jerezach Shacmil
Managing Director of the Imperial Flight Academy
From: [email protected]
CC: [email protected], [email protected]
Subject: URGENT: Freedom of Information request regarding new weapons system
Attached: FOI_18AFE_organa.pdf
Your Majesty the Emperor,
I have attached my completed Freedom of Information form to request information on the new weapons system, as per my previous emails.
If I do not receive a response, I will request a meeting with the emperor myself via his personal secretary.
With all due respect,
Bail Organa
Senior Senator for Alderaan
From: [email protected]
Subject: Medical Checkup Q2 5 AFE
Dear Mr Darth Vader,
The medical team invites you to a scheduled checkup for a HUMANOID WAR VETERAN at 1100 on Month 4 Day 16 of 5 AFE at CORUSCANT GENERAL HOSPITAL.
This is regarding your:
- Robotic arm implant (left)
- Robotic arm implant (right)
- Robotic leg implant (left)
- Robotic leg implant (right)
- Severe fourth degree burns over a significant area of skin
- Respirator (detachable)
- Lung damage
- Chronic pain
Please do not respond to this automatically generated email. You may contact a droid call operator at: 7836478292038 between 0900 to 1700, all days of the week.
Kind regards,
Cyberrobotics Team
Coruscant General Hospital
HOLONET SCHEDULE INVITATION
[email protected] is inviting you to a scheduled meeting on 22 AFE Month 5 at 0900 time.
Subject: Hoth Rebel Base Destruction
From: [email protected]
CC: [email protected] , [email protected]
Subject: Annual Report ahead of Annual General Meeting
Attached: draft_annualreport.pdf
Dear Lord Vader,
I have completed my draft of the annual report ahead of our AGM. Please find it attached to peruse at your own interest.
I will speak to you regarding the spreadsheet of Jedi captured and file of potential locations for Obi-Wan Kenobi at our next meeting tomorrow afternoon.
Looking forward to it.
Yours sincerely,
Grand Inquisitor
From: [email protected]
Subject: Disciplinary action from the Imperial Crisis Management Unit
Dear Sir Lord Vader your Excellency Commander-in-Chief,
I have orders that you should be brought into a disciplinary meeting with the Imperial Crisis Management Unit regarding your executions of Imperial staff.
As the Commander-in-Chief, you are judge, jury and executioner and well within your rights to exact judgement on whoever fails to live up to your standards. However, we have received numerous anonymous complaints, to the point that we feel that this is affecting morale. We are also faced with the problem of replacing the officials, when the Hiring Unit is already having problems recruiting quality officials that pass the security check.
The meeting will take place whenever you are available. It is at your discretion.
You have already received five written warnings for this behaviour.
Please let us know when you want this meeting to take place.
Yours faithfully,
Junior Officer
Imperial Crisis Management Unit
From: [email protected]
Subject: FW: holos of the squad!!!
Attached: 3937893273.jpeg, 3738393937.jpeg
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To: [email protected], [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: holos of the squad!!!
hello hello my dear generals, here’s a copy of the holos we took with everyone!! The whole squad is here!!!
lots of love,
your best padawan
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your suit is ready!
Dear Mr Darth Vader,
Your suit is ready! Your new tailored black robotic suit, helmet and accompanying silk cape will be sent from Naboo to Mustafar within one week.
Your tracking code is 17372937SNSHJSNKAHNFINF.
Thank you for your purchase!
Naboo Royal Tailor
Our clients in the past have included: Queen Padmé Amidala and Emperor Sheev Palpatine!
From: [email protected]
CC: [email protected], [email protected]
Subject: Princess Leia Organa adoption papers and M-count
Attached: LEIAORGANA_adoption.pdf, LEIAORGANA_Mcount.pdf
Dear Lord Vader,
At your request, we have uncovered the adoption papers for Leia Organa. Considering that it’s been four years since Alderaan’s destruction, this was not an easy task. I am unsure if it was the correct idea to divert our resources to finding this instead of hunting the Jedi Luke Skywalker. But I bow to your superior intellect and expertise, my Lord.
Her adoption papers reveal that her biological mother was Padmé Amidala and the biological father was Obi-Wan Kenobi. She was born on the day the Empire rose, a fine day to be born on. Despite her father being a Jedi Master and the leaked documents during Queen Amidala’s reign showing that she does indeed have enough M-counts to be trained in the Force (she turned it down at 6 years old, already wanting to be a politician), curiously, Princess Leia Organa’s M-count is listed as 0.
The Organas were well known friends of both parents, and it is rumoured (no evidence ever found, though) that they hid Obi-Wan and Padmé on the day the Empire fell. It makes sense that the baby was adopted by them.
I hope these results satisfy you.
Yours sincerely,
Grand Inquisitor
From: [email protected]
CC: [email protected], [email protected]
Subject: You are invited to celebrate Empire Day!
On this wondrous occasion of the 20 year celebration of the rise of the Empire, we invite you all to attend the Empire Day dinner!
See meeting details in the holo below!
With peace, justice, and order,
Publicity Team
From: [email protected]
Subject: Invoice for services
Attached: invoicevader5.pdf
Hello your royal bitchiness,
As per our signed CONTRACT, you are duty-bound to deliver credits in return for services rendered. Therefore, check this invoice and send me the damn credits.
If you don’t, I’m scratching up your best ship.
K,
Boba
From: [email protected]
CC: [email protected], [email protected]
Subject: Scheduled Imperial High Command Holograph Shoot
Dear High Command,
We need new holographs for the upcoming publicity season to drive recruitment.
Therefore, please indicate when on your calendars you would all be free.
Thank you!
With peace, justice, and order,
Publicity Team
From: [email protected]
Subject: STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND AND MY BROTHER
Look here you demon
Leia? Luke? They are my whole world and they belong to ME now
Stay the fuck away from us
Stop using your sorcery to stalk us
I will kill you!
From: [email protected]
Subject: [no subject]
Anakin,
I don’t know if this email will reach you. I don’t know if this is a wise idea or not. I understand now that I have no wisdom. If I did, I would have foreseen what was coming. I have failed you, Anakin. I have failed everyone.
I’m still alive. You still have a home. You can still come home. It’s not too late.
I wanted to tell you that. There is still hope for you.
With all my heart,
Your brother,
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Luke has nothing of his father left. The body burned on the forest moon of Endor until only the husk of the helmet and suit remained. The lightsaber was lost when it fell to the depths of Cloud City. As far as the galaxy knows, Anakin Skywalker died on the day of the Jedi Purge. Luke has nothing left but this: this slim comlink that he turns over and over in his hands. The emails left behind, automatically set to “mark as unread”.
Luke reads them, again and again, desperate to cling on to these remnants of his father.
Until the day comes, when he lifts his head, and finds his father’s ghost smiling at him, returned to him once more.
There is no more need for emails, after that.