Chapter Text
It was late at night at Shady Belle. Dutch and Hosea were lying next to each other, restlessly turning around in bed.
Dutch wasn’t quite sure how they ended up in the same bed. Hosea had come into the big room on the second floor about two hours ago. They didn’t talk very much; Molly had been gone for more than two days now and Hosea figured Dutch needed the company.
Of course, Hosea was right, he was always right when it came to what their leader wanted. Dutch didn’t need the company because Ms. O’Shea left though. He… well, he just needed to be with someone, no specific reason. To be honest, he didn’t care about Molly, never did in the last weeks. Hell, maybe he was glad she was gone. Always doubting his plans, always demanding his attention and wanting to talk, she was a pain in his ass.
So, after two days of Dutch sitting inside his room, pouting mostly, avoiding anything and anyone, Hosea decided to check on him. They didn’t say much, just sat outside, on the balcony, for a long time. Dutch was puffing on one of his cigars while Hosea smoked one cigarette after the other.
“Remember that time in Ohio?”, Dutch would ask at some point, a smile planted across his face. Hosea huffed. “Of course, I remember… fooled those idiots easier than a starving man.”
They reveled in memories for a long time until they could only see shadows in the dark of the swamps, the dying campfire and a low-lit lantern carried by Javier or Bill or who ever was on guard duty. Maybe they should’ve gone to bed, but they kept sitting next to each other without anyone saying a word. Some people would’ve considered the silence as uncomfortable, but it was what they both needed at the moment. No fights. No doubts. Just the two of them and memories of a time long gone.
Dutch didn’t exactly know when they retreated to bed, but he was positively surprised to find his partner in crime in the place next to him, the place that had once belonged to the mighty Miss O’Shea.
It must’ve been at least twenty or thirty minutes since they went to bed, Dutch wasn’t sure. He was too worked up to sleep, it had been such a long time since he was this close to Hosea and since they last shared a bed. It never really happened since Bessie. Sure, after she had died Hosea would seek Dutch’s comfort, but that was only in the year directly after her death. Hosea had been drunk every single day, looking for warmth and Dutch just let him. But eventually Hosea got sober, and they moved on.
“Hosea.”, Dutch whispered after a while, and he heard the bed sheets next to him rustle as the older man turned over. There was no answer, but Dutch knew Hosea was awake. A couple of moments later, he turned to face the other man. He could make out his silhouette under the moon light that was falling through the windows of the old plantation house.
When neither of them said anything, Hosea finally gave in. “Hmm?”, he encouraged Dutch to finally say what was on his mind. A few more seconds of silence. Hosea looking at Dutch, Dutch starring back at him through the darkness of the room.
“I miss you.”, Dutch finally spoke, and Hosea had to suppress a laugh. “I’m right here.”, he answered, but was interrupted by a hand being placed on his chest. “No… I miss you.”, Dutch whispered, and Hosea chuckled quietly, taking the hand that was resting on his chest into his own. “I know what you mean.”, he said softly. “I was just teasing.”
Hosea eventually cleared his throat and squeezed the others hand. “I miss you, too…”, he whispered softly. “But… you know it’s not the same as it was.”
Dutch nodded slowly. “I know.”, he said, a sadness in his eyes that made Hosea’s heart ache. “But it will be. You have to have faith.” Hosea grunted and of course he had heard those words before. “Yes. Of course.”, he mumbled. “Faith. And money. And Tahiti. One last score and it’s all coming together.”
Dutch furrowed his brows as Hosea mocked him, and while he tried to stay calm, his body tensed. “Hosea.”, he said sternly. “We will make it and we will go to- “, but Dutch couldn’t finish his sentence. “Sure, Dutch.”, the older man snapped. “Tahiti or Fiji or Australia. Dutch I’m afraid there won’t be many people left until we make it to a so-called tropical paradise.”
“There won’t be any more deaths.”, Dutch growled. In another life he would’ve felt bad about it, but he didn’t care about the O’Driscoll boys death. But Sean… his death was still heavily weighing upon him. “I promise.”, he added in hopes of pursuing Hosea, but of course the other man could see right through him and didn’t buy it.
“Can you Dutch?”, he asked. “Can you promise such a thing, I mean?” Hosea let go off Dutch’s hand that was lying on his chest the whole time. Dutch tried to chase the older man’s hand with his own, not wanting to break the contact, but Hosea didn’t let him which made Dutch sigh in frustration.
“Do you have my back, Hosea?”, he asked after a few moments of silence. Hosea took a deep breath before answering. “You know I do. You know I do because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here right now.”
Suddenly Dutch propped himself up on one of his elbows and his face was closer to Hosea’s than before. “I don’t believe you.”, he whispered and for once Hosea couldn’t rightly read Dutch’s expression. “You’d never leave because you’re soft. You’d never leave the boys. You’d never leave Arthur and John. Doesn’t matter what a fool Marston is, doesn’t matter how difficult and stubborn Arthur can be, you’d walk through fire for them and don’t get me started on Abigail and the boy… you're here because of them.”
Dutch wasn’t wrong about any of those things, Hosea would do anything for their sons and Abigail and Jack. It wasn’t a bad thing, but the way Dutch spat those words at Hosea reminded him of a cougar’s snarls a second before it jumped its prey.
Hosea took a moment, before answering. While he let Dutch’s words sink in, they didn’t break eye contact. “Dutch…”, he sighed after a few seconds. “You’re a fool Dutch. A fool for thinking all these people will blindly follow you. Just because you have a way with words, doesn’t mean you have a plan and eventually the boys and all the other people in the gang will start to see what truly matters. And they will see that the great Dutch van der Linde is full of shit.”
The last words came out with more hate than intended and Hosea cursed himself for it. Sure, he meant it, at least to a certain degree, but he usually liked to discuss problems in a calmer manner. It wasn’t like him to lose control like this, but maybe a part of him wanted to hurt Dutch.
Hosea didn’t know what to expect, but he was concerned Dutch was going to lose it. The older man tensed when he realized the change in Dutch’s impression and prepared himself to take a hit to his face or stomach, but the hit never came. Of course, it never came, Dutch would never physically hurt his best friend, but with the way he’d been acting lately, Hosea couldn’t help the way he felt almost scared of Dutch starring down at him like that.
The younger man kept looking at Hosea. In the dim moonlight he could study his face. It had been a long time since he really looked at Hosea and the picture in front of him made his heart sink.
He still had those high cheekbones and the softest silky hair. But the creases in his skin seemed to have gotten deeper than they ever were. And of course, Hosea had always been skinny, but now Dutch felt like looking at nothing but skin and bones. He couldn’t resist to put a hand to Hosea’s cheek.
“Dutch…”, Hosea whispered when Dutch still hadn’t said anything. He pressed his cheek into Dutch’s palm like a cat and Dutch couldn’t help, but smile.
“Full of shit, huh?”, he finally repeated Hosea’s words and looked at the other man with raised eyebrows. “I’m sorry.”, Hosea said softly and Dutch chuckled and shook his head. “No, you ain’t.”, he stated while shifting a little closer. “If we want to make it, I need you to shut up.”, he sighed softly a smile still playing across his lips.
“Why don’t we both shut up for a while?”, Hosea asked grinning sheepishly at the other man. Dutch nodded his head thoughtfully. “Yeah… I think I’d like that.”, he whispered before connecting their lips.
The kiss wasn’t like the ones they exchanged a life time ago. It wasn’t needy or sloppy. It was gentle and slow, and, in a way, it was a sign of solidarity. It wouldn’t matter how bad things got because they had each other and maybe that was enough. Maybe they were both full of shit and maybe they both knew that all of this, the gang, the things they stood for, were doomed. But it didn’t make a difference right now. Right now, it was just them, Hosea Matthews and Dutch van der Linde, like all those years ago.
Dutch eventually broke the kiss and they held each other, their foreheads pressed together. “Don’t you ever leave me, Hosea.”, he whispered, and Hosea could hear the pain in his voice. “Never, Dutch.” They kissed again, their hands roaming each others body, rediscovering curves and edges they only remembered from when they were young.
Dutch could feel Hosea’s ribs through the layers of clothing, and he was afraid to hurt the other man. “Are you eating enough?”, he asked when their lips seperated again. “Don’t worry about me, Dutch. You know I’m old and sick.”, Hosea had a smile on his lips that didn’t match his words and it worried Dutch. “You need to take care of yourself. Need to stay strong.”, he insisted but Hosea shook his head slowly. “Dutch… I don’t think I’ll be around much longer.”
Dutch broke their embrace and sat up. “No. Stop talking like that, Hosea.” The older man was shocked to hear Dutch’s voice tremble, so he placed a hand on his shoulder and softly pulled Dutch down again. “Look at me.”, he said softly and waited for Dutch to face him. “I’m not going, yet. I still have some time left, but we both know that my time is limited.”
A single tear left Dutch's eyes which Hosea gently wiped away. “Come here.”, Hosea cooed while pulling Dutch closer. “Let’s not talk about it.” He placed a kiss on Dutch’s forehead and for a long time they just lied their, enjoying the others warmth.
Suddenly they heard Arthur from the room next door, and he almost sounded like Hosea. The coughing fit lastet for at least thirty seconds and Hosea looked at Dutch with a worried expression. “Poor boy, better not get sick, we got a bank to rob.”, he said and Dutch sighed. “You know Arthur, he’s though, he will push through it.”, Dutch tried to comfort the other man. “That’s what I’m afraid of. He doesn’t take proper care of himself. He never rests.” Dutch nodded in agreement. “I wonder where he got that from…”, he whispered into Hosea’s ear who had to chuckle. “Now you need to shut up.”, he said jokingly before kissing Dutch again. “Don’t worry.”, Dutch reassured after the kiss. “It’s probably just a cold. He told me he was up in Ambarino last week, probably didn’t wear proper warm clothes.” Hosea hummed quietly. "I'll have to get some yarrow, it will help with a cold." Dutch pulled Hosea closer when the older man tried to get up. "Tomorrow...", he muttered softly. "Stay with me tonight."
They lied together for a long time, cuddling, touching and kissing. “We should try to get some sleep. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”, Hosea finally said. “Are you sure about that bank job?”, Dutch asked, and Hosea nodded. “It’s the right call. We’re gonna rob St. Denis and get out of here.” “Tahiti.”, Dutch whispered sleepily, and Hosea couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, Tahiti, Dutch. Wherever you want to go, I’ll follow.”