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Blitzø would have thought him and Stolas talking things out and officially becoming a sickenly sweet couple (as Millie would call them, which, hello, pot calling the kettle black) would have stopped Stolas from calling him every morning at nine on the dot. He was wrong. Blitzø rubbed his eyes as he listened to Stolas talk about the merits of a certain plant he was growing and how it was good for the soil. Hell if Blitzø knew what Stolas was talking about. Shit made absolutely no sense to him.
Before he might be too chicken shit to admit it, but now that he was trying to be more transparent he could admit he cared about Stolas. Which meant he would gladly listen to Stolas rant about stuff he was passionate about, even if it went over Blitzø’s head. It was fascinating listening to Stolas go on a tangent about the things he cared about. Stolas would gesture with his whole body, eyes alight as he explained various things to Blitzø. There were times though, and it happened more than Blitzø would like, when Stolas would pause and start stuttering when he realized he was talking for so long. From Stolas’ reaction, Blitzø realized he may very well be one of the first people to ever listen to Stolas talking about things he was passionate about. Or at least the first in a long time. Blitzø always reassured him it was fine, and urged Stolas to continue. It was always worth it to see the way Stolas’ eyes would light up before continuing.
However, there was a time and a place, and when Blitzø was at work was not the place. “Stolas, I got to get to work. Don’t you have your plants to feed?”
“Oh,” Stolas said, and Blitzø was relieved he didn’t sound upset by being cut off. “Yes, it is feeding day. Thank you for the reminder, dear.”
Blitzø blinked. He just said that without even thinking about it. He had no clue how he had gotten so in tune with Stolas that he knew when he fed his fucking carnivorous pet plants. If this was before they became a couple, he would have been uncomfortable with this realization. As it was, he didn’t know how to feel about how intermingled their lives were becoming. Good, but the lingering itch of needing to run was simmering below the surface. He squashed it down, determined to not run anymore. He wasn’t going to screw this up by letting his fears get the best of him.
“Yeah, no problem,” Blitzø said and he picked up a piece of paper with their next target on it. Looked like an easy enough job. They’d probably be in and out. “Looks like we have an easy job today, wanna get dinner tonight?”
Stolas trilled, and Blitzø smiled fondly at the sound. He always loved when he was the cause of Stolas making that happy sound. “That would be wonderful. I’ll see you tonight?”
“It’s a date,” Blitzø said because he could say that now and like hell he wasn’t saying it every chance he got.
Once he got off the phone he grabbed the necessary paperwork and entered the main area of I.M.P., only to stop in his tracks at the commotion in the crew room. Millie was standing at the whiteboard, dry erase marker clutched in her hand as she raised her arm above her head. Moxxie was grabbing at Millie, reaching for the marker but falling inches short. Loona seemed to be unaffected by the display, scrolling on her phone and ignoring the situation entirely.
“Uh, the fuck guys?” Blitzø said, at a loss.
Millie and Moxxie froze right where they were, arms still entangled and fronts pressed together. Moxxie took advantage of the distraction and jumped up to snag the marker out of Millie’s hand, shouting triumphantly. Loona briefly glanced up from her phone and then looked back down.
“Hi, Blitzø!” Millie smiled, batting at Moxxie in an attempt to get the marker back while also trying to appear as innocent as possible. “We heading out soon?”
Blitzø stared, “Well normally I would say yes but now I’m more interested in what you two are up to.”
“We’re up to nothing, sir. Millie was just-” he cut off because he apparently had no excuse for why he and Millie were fighting over a marker. “So, who's our next target?” He settled on, trying to change the subject.
Blitzø looked past them and his eyes landed on the whiteboard. One of the two had erased all of the previous day's plan of action and instead wrote some weird nonsense words on it. “What the fuck is a Blitolas?” Blitzø asked, reading one of the words off the whiteboard.
Millie and Moxxie laughed nervously, glancing between themselves trying to figure out how they were going to get out of this. What ‘this’ was Blitzø had no idea.
Loona, sick of the back and forth, finally spoke up. “Those two dumbasses are trying to figure out what you and your boyfriend's ship name is.”
Both Millie and Moxxie shouted Loona’s name, upset she had exposed them.
“Uh… why?” Blitzø asked, looking through the list of names that apparently Moxxie and Millie had come up with. They were terrible. Stolas could never find out about this.
“Millie’s the one who started it!” Moxxie pointed a finger at Millie, and Blitzø was almost amused by how he was throwing his wife under the bus.
Millie bristled. “Hey, you’re the one who said Stolo was stupid when I casually mentioned it. You’re the one who started this debate.”
“Because that doesn’t even make sense! It drops every letter of Blitzø’s name except the only letter that is silent! It would be pronounced ‘Stol’ not ‘Stolo’.” Moxxie argued back.
“Okay, again. Why?” Blitzø asked.
“Every couple has to have a ship name,” Millie explained and Moxxie nodded sagely. Apparently, they make up quickly because Moxxie tugged Millie to his side.
“Me and Millie’s ship name is M&M,” Moxxie said, looking at Millie fondly. Millie returned the gaze and gave Moxxie a small smile.
“Anyway,” Blitzø said, dragging out the word. “So every couple has a ship name. Whatever. Why do all of the ones you wrote down sound fucking terrible? Are you two even trying?”
Moxxie collapsed in his chair, chucking the marker at the whiteboard and watching as it bounced off onto the floor. “Your names are impossible, sir. The vowels just don’t match up. Plus adding a ‘z’ just complicates things.”
Blitzø grinned at Moxxie’s dejected expression. To think just a simple ship name could make the imp look so down. Walking over to Moxxie, Blitzø slapped him on the back, “Well, Moxxie I can see this is really bothering you. How about we solve this in fifteen minutes and then you can take out whatever emotions you have on our next victim.”
Millie shouted in excitement and Moxxie stood up and walked over to pick up the marker, muttering about how he didn’t want to have emotions over a stupid name but Millie made him care about being correct.
Blitzø plucked the marker out of Moxxie’s hand and moved in front of the whiteboard and crossed out the most egregious one - ‘Stolblitzo’.
“Okay, crew, let's get this done fast. Any idea isn’t a bad idea but I reserve the right to judge anything you throw at me.”
Between the three of them, they slowly had a list of all sorts of mash-ups of his and Stolas’ names, their hobbies, and qualities. Blitzø tapped the marker against his mouth, regarding the list before him. Nothing was really grabbing him and from the way Moxxie and Millie were looking dejected at the whiteboard they weren’t impressed either.
“Cross out Blolas.” Moxxie said, “sounds too much like blow ass.”
Blitzo snorted and crossed out ‘Blolas’ from the list. “Yeah, can’t believe it’s been on the list for this long without us catching that. Sounds fucking awful.”
Blitzø liked to think he had brilliant plans. He came up with plans that were… well not foolproof but it got the job done. So after writing down every name he could think of, he thought he was tapped out. But uncapping the marker one last time, Blitzø started writing the word that he was sure to be the correct one.
“Stolitz?” Moxxie read.
“Hell yeah!” Millie shouted, punching the air.
The three of them grinned at each other, satisfied with finally coming up with an adequate name.
Blitzø clapped his hands together, closing the debate. “Okay, me and Stolas are Stolitz. Let’s never talk about this again and Stolas can never know about this. Now, I’m in the mood for stabbing someone and getting paid for it, how about you?”
Moxxie and Millie quickly went and grabbed their weapons. A portal opened up in front of them and they took turns walking through it.
Just before the portal closed behind them, Blitzø said, “I think we can all agree Stolblitzo shouldn’t have seen the light of day. Satan, which one of you came up with that one?”