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"It is beautiful, I'll give you that."
The Doctor put his hands in his pockets and twisted to glance at Tegan over his shoulder. "The Eye of Orion is the most tranquil and the most beautiful place in the Universe for some, Tegan."
She reached out to catch herself on his shoulder as she jumped down the last of the ruins to stand on the ground next to him. "No one lives here?"
"Not for the last thousand years or so," he replied, stepping down the next level. "The population that was here crash landed and was removed an eon ago." Scuffling of her feet on the ruins behind him alerted him to turn and he caught her about the waist after putting down the picnic basket. She frowned at his sigh and the raised eyebrow he gave her. "It would be much easier if you would wear quite sensible shoes."
"I didn't know we were traveling into the wilds for some cheese and wine, Thete," she shot back. "And you were very adamant about leaving immediately."
"Yes, well…" he replied, his hands slowly leaving her waist. "Time is of the essence for the sunset here."
"And how do you suppose we'll get back up this hill in the dark?" she asked, as he picked up the basket and jumped down to the next level.
"There's a path, down a ways on the other side of the hill, Tegan. We won't be stumbling about," he said.
"Could you explain why we're rushing clear across the planet when there was a very lovely meadow next to the TARDIS?"
"I could, but it would waste time. Come along, Tegan," he muttered, reaching back to catch her hand as they started across level ground. She fought to keep the smile off her face as they nearly ran across the meadow and through the snatch of trees on the other side. He had been like this since they had landed on the Eye the day previous: slightly nervous with pent-up energy and slightly secretive.
She couldn't quite understand what he was doing, but had been both relieved and upset that he hadn't asked for her to join him lately. Relief flushed her because at the moment, she didn't quite understand her mind. It felt like a new, empty apartment with no furniture or familiar things in it. She was simply waiting for the movers to back the lorry up and unload.
The familiar feeling of his palm against hers, his cool fingers interlaced with her warmer ones, made her feel like the lorry was closer than she had expected. It was the most contact between them in a week, this handhold. He released her fingers, however, as they broke through the tree line and she saw their destination.
It was must have been the skeleton of a watchtower or a sentry place for it was perched on the edge of a cliff. The walls had crumbled enough that she could envision the remains acting as a table. As they drew near, it was apparent that that was the Doctor's purpose in the location.
"Ah, perfect," he sighed and glanced over at her.
"Would you tell me now why we've come here?" she asked, simply to see the little furrow of his brows and the look of complete bafflement in his eyes.
"For dinner, of course," he replied, hefting the basket between them. Turning, he pulled his hat from his head and nodded. "It hasn't changed at all in the last two hundred years. And you," he stated, swinging about to touch the end of her nose with his finger, gently. "You will undoubtedly enjoy the colors and the scenery."
She glanced down at the basket. "Did you pack the dinner, Thete?"
"Ye of little faith," he smiled and turned to set the basket down on a ruin. With a flourish, he turned and held out his hand. "Madam?"
Her raised eyebrows and confused expression didn't stop her from taking his hand. He led her around the ruin and sat her on a small, rather smooth and comfortable stone. Once she was comfortable, he turned and began to empty the basket, setting a table before her. She saw wine and wine glasses, cheese and crackers, caviar and a small container of meat. It was, in her estimation, a perfect holiday picnic dinner. When he finished, he turned and nodded off to the side. "Sunset should be within the next hour, Tegan. "Just enough time for us to eat and enjoy each other's company. Now," he started, rubbing his hair. "Would you care for a glass of wine?"
She nodded and watched as he began to worry at the cork with an opener. "Doc?"
"Yes?" he replied, his eyes averted and his hands full.
She sighed. There might have been a film over her senses, her mind for the last few months, but she could still read him like the back of her hand. She could tell he was uneasy and had a few things on his mind. There were several questions in her mind and she knew she had to start somewhere when asking them. "Are you all right?"
It might have been her tone or simply the question, but he twisted, wine bottle in hand and glanced at her. His eyebrows were arched in interest. "Perfectly, Tegan. Why, do I appear…shall we say…not all right?"
"Well, it has been a week…" Tegan began. She looked down at her fingers and noticed they were picking absently at the weave in the blanket. With a little anger at herself, she shook out her fingers and frowned. "Rabbits! You haven't asked to shag lately nor have you appeared in my room at all hours."
"Ah, and you haven't made use of my room either, Tegan," the Doctor said. He glanced down at the wine bottle as though he hadn't expected it to be there. He began fumbling with it again.
"You've brought me here to talk about it, haven't you?" she asked. At his solemn nod, she frowned. "Hell's Teeth, you know I can't stand song and dance, Thete. You didn't have to bring me out in the middle of nowhere on the pretense of dinner to talk to me about it."
"It's not under the pretense of dinner, Tegan. I had rather thought it would be a nice evening. That wasn't the only reason I brought you out here, nor is it the only topic we need to talk about. Additionally, Miss Tegan, this is not the middle of nowhere. These are the ruins of an old place of worship, I believe, and one of the best places on the planet to watch the sun set," he replied, his words punctuated at different times with his efforts to open the wine bottle. On the last word, the cork popped out of the bottle and he gave her a triumphant smile.
She gave a slight shake of her head and picked up the wine glasses, holding them out as he filled them. "There just seems to be too much effort here, Thete. Wine and cheese?"
The Doctor lifted an eyebrow and set his glass down on the rock. "Not much effort at all, Tegan."
With a sip of her wine, she shifted her weight and then set her glass down as well. "What is it you want to talk about, then?"
"You wish to jump into it directly?"
"Why not?" she asked in return.
"Ah, yes…never were one to see if there was water in the pond before you jump, Tegan? I'm rather like that myself. Very well," he sighed and pulled over the wedge of cheese. He broke off a piece and handed it to her. "I haven't been to your room, nor have I asked you to join me because I felt you needed time and distance to sort things out."
"Understatement," she muttered. "Sort things out? I rather think I'm tearing things down and throwing out in my mind. I just feel like I’m seeing things…clearer…now"
He nodded, leaning back into the rock. She watched as he lifted his chin, his nose to catch the breeze as it gently swept by them, caressing his cheek and leaves alike. "But how are you? I mean with the hormone. Aren't your levels…?"
"They're always increasing," he replied, fingering the rim of his wine glass. "And I'm just fine, Tegan."
"But…"
With a sigh, he turned his eyes to hers. Against the deep, deep blue of the sky, his eyes seemed gray. And gray made her think of sadness and pain. "I suppose you'll say that if my level is high, you should, as my Yentria, be on hand, so to speak."
"That was the arrangement, yes," she stated.
"Ah," he stated quietly. Tegan smacked her lips with the sour taste of the wine. "And do you also remember that we were and are friends, Tegan?"
"Of course, but what has that got to do with… You're my friend, I don't want you to suffer," she pushed. "And you know it was me that agreed to it without that Mara thing in my head controlling it- Oh, this is about my memories…"
"You haven't come to my room, Tegan."
"I didn't realize that that was a prerequisite."
"No, but it is quite telling, Tegan. I don't want you forced against your will or your better judgment."
For some reason, Tegan felt that his words were tainted with rejection and she fought back against what she felt was poor reasoning. "It'll hurt you if you let it go…"
"Ah, and I do believe," he said, turning his eyes to the horizon well beyond them. "I do believe that you coming to my room because you feel it your duty would hurt you, Tegan. We are friends. And friends first." He turned back to face her and reached across to her to trace the delicate chain and jewel that lay against her skin. "And I would not harm a friend if I could avoid it. And I would not harm you if my life depended upon it, Tegan. Bread?"
She glanced over at the basket and pulled out a chunk of bread, handing it to him. "So you don't need me?"
"I do. I will. I always will, Tegan. My blasted physiology won't allow anything else-"
"Your blasted physicol- Hell's Teeth, Thete, I thought you had come to terms with it all," she bit out.
He frowned and hummed. "I can see this conversation isn't going as I planned."
"So sorry about that," she replied, gently, but sarcastically. "It would help if you would just come out and say what you want. This is what I meant about song and dance, Thete. Just answer me one thing: do you need me today…tonight?"
"Yes."
"Why didn't you say…."
"Because I don't want to be duty, Tegan. I was rather enjoying when I thought you were engaging in sex with me because you enjoyed it and wanted it as well."
"I do want-"
"I don't quite mean it like that," he growled, lifting his head to stare at the sky. "Blast and Gallifrey, I've spent most of my life learning how to act without emotions, Tegan. It is rather hard to talk about them when, at times, you barely understand them."
"You want it to be like when I was telling you that I…" she swallowed and continued, averting her eyes. "Like when I woke up from that dream and told you I had deep feelings for you?"
"Hmm," he sighed, lowering his eyes to rub at the back of his head. "Yes, well…"
"Doc-"
"I saw that building in your memories and you, barely legal for driving age would be my guess. You stayed there for shelter, didn't you? And for companionship. And when that wore thin, you stayed there because you had nowhere else to go. He hurt you, didn't he?"
"Thete…"
"Yes or no."
"Not physically," she replied with sigh. "And it hasn't been anything I haven't recovered from mentally…"
"Hmm," he grunted. "Yes, well…I don't intend to be like that to you, Tegan. I don't want the situation…that you have nowhere else to go, for companionship, or because you feel you have to do it for me, for our friendship…to be the reason you lay with me."
She glanced about at the picnic and the ruins, at the purpling sky and finally at the setting sun. A light went on in her empty, lone apartment of a mind and she glanced back at him. He was staring at her, his eyes wide open. "You want me to lay with you because of sharing."
"Yes."
"Because I want and enjoy sex with you," she nodded, reaching for her wine glass again.
"Yes," he replied, his finger tapping at the rock. He watched it for a moment.
"You have those already," she pointed out.
"Yes, well…I do believe that women on Earth, or at least my research this last week…"
"Research," she mumbled under her breath. "Wonderful. I've become research?"
"Human women in general, you in particular, yes," he replied, apparently taking her words literally without the measure of sarcasm she had in them. "I do believe that women enjoy…shall we say…courtship?"
"Courtship?" Tegan sputtered the word. A glance about the picnic made her roll her eyes gently and close them. "Of course, how silly of me. Good God, you're trying to be romantic."
He pinkened slightly in the cheeks and reached out to wrap both hands around his wine glass. "Tegan, I would rather say, in deference to my Gallifreyan heritage, that I'm following what I should do in an instance like this."
"I hate to tell you that it’s the Eighties where I'm from. Romance is dead."
"Is it?" he asked. "You're assuming the linearity of time again, Tegan. You should know better by now. Tegan, I'm a Time Lord. I rather think of what we're discussing as…proper procedure if you will. Something that I should have done long before this if not for my blasted physiology."
"If not for your blasted physiology, it wouldn't be needed, you know," she pressed.
"Needless to say," he rumbled, ignoring what she had said. "Based on your history, and on what I have read and researched and from knowing you, you should expect courtship and I should be expected to give it."
"Hence…" she nodded to the wine glass. "An attempt at a sunset meal?"
"Attempt?" he asked. "Really, Tegan. I would assume the meal and the sunset part is a fact."
"Too right, I suppose."
"It isn't romantic?" he asked, suddenly, a change in his demeanor.
"Romance is more than a meal," she said.
He released his wine glass and reached for her hand, squeezing her fingers between his. "I understand that, Tegan."
"I'm not one to teach it either," she admitted. "I'm not sure it's what I need, Thete…"
He sat back against his stone and nodded to the horizon. "The sun is setting, Tegan. How would you be most comfortable to sit and watch it?"
She shrugged, but before she could say anything, he lifted the hand that held hers and pulled gently. "Might I suggest next to me?"
"You could," Tegan replied. "And I would probably agree."
She came and sat next to him, his arm extending over her shoulders. She yawned after a time and leaned into his chest, watching the blues and purples and greens and golds mixing in the sky. She felt his hand in her curls, gently massaging her scalp.
"If you asked me this evening, Thete…I wouldn't say no. The dinner…this is…nice."
"Ah," she felt the words rumbled out of chest. There was hesitation in his words. "On the first date, Tegan?"
She glanced up at him to see a gently, boy-like smile on his face. "Oh, I know," he continued. "I know that we're lovers already, Tegan. But I would like to give you some respect. I've heard from Rick that you are in need of it. I want you comfortable; I want you to feel secure with me. It will help your recovery from the Mara. I'll let you come to me when you're ready. I care about you, Tegan."
Tegan felt warmth flood her at her Tantrian's attention to her. Darkness began to encroach and it wrapped them in night and with it, his arm curled about her and brought her in close. His lips at her forehead were infinitely sweet and gentle. She could tell he was surprised when she stopped his kiss with her fingers against his mouth. When she levered up and pressed an easy kiss to his lips, he released some tension and a small sigh against her lips. "I do appreciate it, Thete."
"You're welcome," he replied, his hand against the back of her head.
"You know it's all backwards, don't you? Sex and erotica first, dinner and sunsets second."
"Better late than never," he whispered.
She kissed him again and hummed. "You know, Thete? I think I'd rather like to come back with you to your room tonight."
His smile was felt against her lips. "Then I think we should clean up our dinner."
Tegan smiled in return, her face aching from the width of it. In her mind, she felt the lorry backing up and began to put things back in order. She felt safe with him, safer than she had with a man in a long time. And she knew he would never hurt her. Suddenly, spending the night with him seemed inviting, right. With a sigh, she sat forward and began to put things away in the basket.