Chapter Text
“Yeah, mom, I’ll be fine.”
A humid breeze seeped through the cracks of the boarding bridge, clinging to your skin as an uncomfortable sheen. The first step off of the airplane was always the scariest. Somehow, you always felt as if you would slip through the small crack between the walkway and the aircraft itself, despite the scenario being impossible in the first place.
A small sigh escaped the phone speaker pressed tightly to your ear. You could easily picture the expression on your mother’s face. A crease between her eyebrows, eyes flitted downwards as she smoothes the wrinkles of her skirt, heel ticking against the hard tile floor of the kitchen. You swore you heard the echo in the background.
“I’m sorry it has to be like this,” she finally said.
Your gaze swept across the arrival gate. Taking note of the sign pointing to the baggage claim, you gathered yourself and headed in that direction. “Like what?”
Her tongue clicked from the other end of the line. “I know you don’t know your uncle Zhang all that well. But, Liyue will be good for you. The sun is out almost year-round, did you know that?”
“I didn’t.”
“Well, I always look forward to visiting. I just… haven’t had the time lately. Work is busy as ever, as you know.”
You nodded, then realized your mistake. “Right. I’m sure uncle understands.”
“I feel bad, though,” she thought aloud. “It’s been almost a year since the Ying Yue incident. The last time I was over, he wasn’t doing so well. Promise me you’ll look out for him, too? I may not be the best at showing it, but… I do care for my brother.”
When your lip began to hurt, you released it from the pinch of your teeth. “Is that why you sent me here? For a mutual babysitting gig?”
Your mother laughed curtly. “Of course not. The both of you have been alone for a long time, so why not be alone together?”
“I’m picking up my bag now. I’ll text you when we get back to the house, okay?” You expertly avoided responding to her question, even if it was meant to be rhetorical.
“Tell him I say hello. Love you.”
“You too.”
Your thumb jabbed quickly at the end call button. You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until you felt the ache beneath your ribs. The din of suitcase wheels rolling across the floors seemed to leak through your ears thick like honey, while passersby went along as if everything were normal. Swallowing back the nerves that arose in your throat, you scooped your bag off of the carousel and fell back into momentum with the crowd.
A vibration in your pocket pulled you out of your trance.
I’m glad you landed safely. I’m by door four, see you soon sunshine!
A smile tugged at the corner of your lips at the nickname. You were actually looking forward to staying with Zhang. As a child, visiting your uncle was one of your favorite parts of the holidays. You had fond memories of gardening with Ying Yue in the backyard, then after, Zhang would indulge you in wanting to ride the mower by taking you a few laps around the house. He would sit you on his knees and let you place your hands on top of his, giving the illusion that you were the one steering.
Once the mower had been stowed away, he’d heave you onto his shoulders and duck out of the shed. Ying Yue would meet the two of you outside the door, popsicles in hand, and let you have the first pick. Your heart squeezed at the thought of her radiant smile.
You spotted a familiar head of hair towering over everyone else. Zhang’s arms were crossed and his dark eyes scanned the crowd until they met yours. He smiled.
“There you are.” Zhang couldn’t hide his excitement when you abandoned your bag to leap into his outstretched arms. His form was just as sturdy as you remembered. He did hard physical labor at his job and had the gigantic arms to prove it.
“Hi, uncle,” you breathed out when he finally set you on your feet.
“You’ve gotten so tall, when did that happen?” he asked with amazement.
“Quite the opposite actually. I think it’s that you’ve gotten shorter.”
Zhang guffawed, then said, “And jokes! You’ve grown into a fine young adult, sunshine. I really am happy to see you after all this time.”
You sputtered, unsure of how to respond to verbal affection. He leaned down to grab your suitcase by the handle and hoisted it into the air with ease. A curious expression settled on his face, making his eyebrows raise in turn.
“Is this all you brought?”
It wasn’t much, but you at least thought to bring the necessities.
“Uh—yeah… I figured they’d stop me from flying if I tried to sneak my memory foam mattress past security.”
Zhang dropped a firm hand on your shoulder and laughed again. “I don’t have any memory foam in the guest room, but I’m sure we could find something more suited to your tastes.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not picky,” you reassured.
It was easy to find the exit of the airport since there was only one direction to go after retrieving your baggage. The tile floors sparkled magically in the sun as you tread carefully over the grout cracks, bouncing on the balls of your feet to the center of each square.
Outside, the car lot shimmered in the rays of the sun. The parking garage provided some shade against the blaring heat pounding on the earth, but the humidity still snuck its way into your pores. Zhang led you to his car and hurriedly stowed away your luggage.
You had already hopped in the passenger seat by the time he got inside. Fanning yourself, you watched as he fumbled to put the keys in the ignition. He turned his wrist and suddenly the air conditioning turned on full blast.
“It’s a whopping ninety-four degrees today,” Zhang remarked. Your eyes widened, but you quickly narrowed them against the stinging cold air from the vents.
“It isn’t always like this, is it?”
“Not always. You brought a heatwave with you, it seems.”
“Ah,” you groaned, pushing back your hair from your face. “Just my luck.”
After he had cooled down enough to function properly, Zhang reversed out of the lot and maneuvered through the ramps until he found the bottom floor. He paid the parking fee at the barrier gate, and the arm moved out of the way so you could get by. Your focus was quickly lost to the blur of roadside greenery after a few minutes went by.
“So, uh… how’s your mom?” Zhang asked.
You shifted in your seat, watching the trees shift gradually into street lights as the car approached the heart of the city. The radio station blurred into a different genre with loud static rumbling. Zhang chose a different one.
“She’s… you know. Good, I think. She distracts herself with work for the most part. Said she misses you.”
She didn't say that, you were certain, but you’d feel better pretending she did.
“I was surprised when she texted me asking if you could stay with me. I didn’t realize things were so…” He cut himself off, flashing a sympathetic smile in your direction. “You probably aren’t happy about switching schools your senior year. Is that going to be difficult for you?”
“Not so difficult as it will be… new,” you said slowly. “I’m not worried about the classes. I just hope I can make a few friends over here before the year ends.”
“That shouldn’t be a problem! Who wouldn’t want to befriend someone like you? You’re like a magnet.” Zhang straightened his back, eyes wide and expressive.
You raised an eyebrow. “I’m not so sure about that. I really only hung around Yoimiya back at home.”
“Hey, if I’m wrong, I can just force some friends for you.”
His biceps flexed, and he patted one reassuringly. You couldn’t help but laugh at his antics.
“That’d probably repel them instead of attract them.”
About half an hour of big city traffic later, the two of you finally arrived at Zhang’s house. It was a decently sized home with modern furnishings, a little too big for one person alone. He set your suitcase down as he removed his shoes and placed them next to yours.
“Feel free to use anything you need around here. Most of it has been collecting dust anyway, so don’t be afraid to make yourself at home,” Zhang said. He stood next to you as you surveyed the familiar Liyuen-style living quarters, the many pictures on the shelves bringing a ghost of a smile to your lips.
“It all looks how it did when I was little.” You breathed in the nostalgic fragrance of qingxins emitting from the small humidifier on the table. You approached the frames propped against the dark-colored shelves and bent down to inspect them more closely.
The first one was Zhang and Ying Yue’s wedding photo. She was dressed in a red qipao and Zhang in a Tang Suit of a similar color—if you were remembering the names of the traditional clothing correctly. Ying Yue’s auburn hair was braided into a bun, adorned with a silk flower bloom that matched her doe-brown irises. Zhang held her gently in his arms as they gazed into each other’s eyes, affection plastered across both of their faces.
“Do you remember this one?”
Zhang appeared at your side without so much as creaking floorboards. His finger pointed to the photo on the shelf below it, which depicted you, Zhang, and Ying Yue the last holiday you had visited. You noticed how his gaze avoided the photo you were initially looking over but said nothing of it.
A sad chuckle left your lips as you picked up the frame. “It was my first time ever attending a Lantern Rite festival. Archons, look how young I was…”
“You were so excited about everything you saw. We got so full from the food stands that we could barely walk straight, and you bet we played every game in the plaza. Didn’t stop until we won all the prizes.” He fondly recited his memories of the event. “I still remember how concentrated you looked trying to make lanterns with…”
He stopped himself with a stutter. Zhang cleared his throat into his fist, and you couldn’t help but notice the creases extending from the edges of his eyes. You fumbled when you went to place the frame back down.
“So, which room will I be taking over while I’m here?”
“Oh, right.” He seemed relieved at the question. “Allow me to show you the way.”
Zhang swiped your bag from the entrance once more and trudged eagerly up the stairs. You followed a short distance below him, keeping your gaze trained on the way your knees moved up each step. Your bedroom was on the second floor, one of the few doors along the hallway.
Zhang stopped at the second one to the left, turning the knob and allowing it to swing open without stepping inside. You walked past his outstretched arm and right inside.
“I have to check my email and make sure the office hasn’t burned down while I’m gone, so I’ll let you have some alone time.” He rolled your suitcase farther inside with a slight push. “I’ll be downstairs. Let me know if you need anything.”
Before he closed the door, you called out, “Wait!”
He stopped, eyes wide. “Yeah?”
You had your arms around him before he could process your movement. He only saw the top of your head as you buried your face into his chest, your grasp tight around his torso. Zhang softly patted your back until you pulled away.
He analyzed your face, and when you said nothing, he offered a small smile. “Thanks, sunshine.”
The door closed in his wake.
You released a deep sigh, wishing it would cleanse your chest of the heaviness that seemed to weigh it down. What you would give to bring Ying Yue back to him—to you, even. Seeing the sadness behind Zhang’s happy facade was almost torturous. It was reminiscent of a puppy who had just been kicked.
Your palms harshly rubbed your eyes before you turned to your suitcase, intending on unpacking everything. Living with the ghosts of the past was nothing new to you. Just like before, you would overcome these obstacles. You weren’t the only one with a weight on your shoulders anymore.