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Jean isn't quite sure when it started. She had always loved the breath of fresh air by Windrise. Perhaps, the sight across Starsnatch Valley was also in her list of calming places. Dawn Winery was always her favourite pick. Regardless, nothing could have prepared her for the invitingness of Lisa's library.
Falling in love with Lica Minci was oh so complicated, oh so sweet. Infatuation was what Jean called it -- meaningless. And yet on the days she overworked herself and grinded her bones into these damned papers, her mind wandered.
Maybe it was always an issue. Jean knew it from the moment Lisa was introduced, how inexplicably breathtaking the woman was. However, as a good knight should, she crossed her arms and only lightly bowed the best she could.
Jean grips her pen tightly. When did it start? She releases the breath she had held. She isn't quite sure. When it comes to Lisa, she's never quite sure.
"Acting Grand Master!"
She drops her pen.
Instead, she takes her sword and wears it with a pride. A pride that is raked under the gaze of Mondstadt. Jean wields her blade and takes her chance. "I am not in need of assistance. I will clear out the sprouting issues here. Please focus on recuperating and finalizing the routes." She announces before striding and marching into the enemy territory on her own volition.
She does what she says. That is Jean's founded respect and she intends to keep it. Her blade runs through the four, (was it five?), ruin guards quick. She's careful as to not destroy any major parts. Afterall, ruin guards were ancient relics. Her blade is precise with every swing.
Soon enough each monster is on the floor, beneath her feet. Jean can not keep her blade just yet, she knows it all too well. She continues marching forth, slashing and clearing hilichurl camps. She takes notes of routes while she can. The arrow that flies by her reinstates her fatigue.
And when she finally sheaths her blade, all that is left is the profound ego of the Acting Grand Master, Jean Gunnhildr.
On her way back to her office, she's praised. Hero, that's what they call her. Perhaps that is the foundation of her throbbing and fragile pride as a protector of Mondstadt.
"Reckless you are,"
And that is why she had fallen in love with Lisa Minci. She is not a hero under a heavy gaze. She is nothing but Jean, hardworking but reckless.
Jean smiles at the sight of Lisa sitting at her desk, sipping tea leisurely. The cup is one of Jean's favourites. "What will Barbara say when she sees you?" Lisa hums, she sure knows what buttons to press. Jean's eyes are on the floor. Lisa sighs, putting the cup down.
"Come here," She says and Jean knows better than to deny. "I am fine, Lisa. There's nothing to worry about." She mumbles but Lisa only strips her of her shoulder guards. Jean was not a knight in front of this woman. She was fragile and weak, but maybe that was okay.
"How many this time?" Lisa sighs. Jean loves the way she speaks, dulcet and mellifluous. "Five ruin guards, three hilichurl camps, and two abyss mages." Jean's voice is hoarse. "Why is there a sudden influx in these monsters?" Lisa stresses, her hand dissecting each scratch and nip on Jean's skin.
"I presume it has something to do with the Traveler." Jean only chuckles. "Ah, she is reckless as you are." Lisa rolls her eyes. "Am I only reckless in your eyes?" Jean teases, it's uncommon but it's not unsightly. Lisa smiles softly.
"Jean dear, do not test my patience." Lisa shakes her head and Jean feels her heart thrum against her chest. "Will you electrocute me too?" Jean leans forward, her eyes curving upward. Lisa flicks her forehead, Jean winces at that.
At times like this, Jean hopes to love for as long as she can. She hopes and prays to the archons above that her days are spent like this. She knows it's greedy, Jean has never been so. Perhaps, that is why it only deepens her desires for the woman in purple.
"Take a nap for the time being." Lisa says.
"I have work to get done--"
Lisa's eyes are stiff. Jean takes a breath in. "Balance your work and your life, Jean. You are human at most, do not extend your limits so often." Lisa says with such softness that Jean can't find it in herself to deny the woman.
"You worry me," Lisa allows herself to admit. Jean feels her lips tremble at the confession. "I am glad," She smiles as she turns, unable to see the expression on Lisa's face. She heads to her quarters, trying to shake off the feeling.
She knows Lisa is staring but Jean refuses to look back at her. That is the last thing she'll do.
-
Jean's eyes flutter open. Her eyes meet the eggshell white ceiling. She breathes calmly before reality strikes her. She stirrs, attempting to sit up despite the soreness at her abdomen.
Panic fills her veins. The sky outside was dark and she had work left undone. "Calm down," The voice registers into her immediately.
It is only then Jean realizes the arms wrapped around her bare waist. Lisa hums tiredly, Jean can't breathe. Her cheeks flush a deep shade of red as she sinks back into the mattress, turning her head away. "I've gotten someone to take care of your work. I will not have you passing out twice in the same month." Lisa whispers against her skin.
Jean tries to calm her racing heart. "Lisa, please let me take care of things. This is my duty, you understand this more than anyone." She squeezes her arm softly. Lisa only chuckles, "That is precisely why I am stopping you from making terrible decisions, am I not? Coffee will not supply you with energy forever." Lisa's pointer draws circles around Jean's stomach.
Jean bites her tongue hard. She must not shame herself so easily.
"I understand that much. However--"
Lisa releases a sigh. "And here I thought my thoughts mattered to you the most." Jean's eyes widen at the admission. She tries not to stumble when she speaks, "Yes . . . It does," She acknowledges softly. "Then there should be no howevers, is that understood?" Lisa scolds.
Lisa rises, loosening her embrace. Jean watches intently as the moonlight shines onto her face. It's so orphic and oddly calming in more ways than one. Jean suppresses the urge to grab her and press a kiss onto her lips. No, that would be beyond improper of her.
Jean clears her throat, tearing her gaze away as Lisa rakes through her messy hair. "I'm sure you haven't forgotten but I have many doubts you took measures to attend. So, have you cleared out your schedule? It's Kaeya's birthday tomorrow." Lisa says, Jean purses her lips.
In a moment of idiocricy she speaks from her heart, "I'll be there."
That seems to catch Lisa off guard, as much as it does for herself. Jean doesn't know why she had said that. If anything, she was busier than usual. She did give Kaeya the day off afterall. "Are you sure?" Lisa seems skeptical, rightfully so. Jean feels amusement flood her brain. How much did she work exactly?
"Will you be there?" Jean asks, sweeter. Lisa stares at her with questions (and promise?) Jean only offers her a smile. The signals are hard for her to send. Lisa wss never supposed to be someone who was on the table afterall. The woman was a true free spirit.
And Jean? She was chained to her desk. In theory, they should never even work. The thought of a relationship so shallow should not be even invading Jean's minds so late at night.
"I will," Lisa says and Jean nods, taking her hand with adoration. "Then I'll see you there." Jean says so surely. Every cell in her body denies her of her logic despite her brain strangling against this impulse. Lisa seems to soften at that, clearing her throat. "Did you hit your head somewhere?"
Jean chuckles, "What makes you say that?" Her eyes are brimming with cheekiness. It's one Lisa has not seen in far too long. "I wonder," Lisa speaks slowly. Jean only raises a single eyebrow. She clears her throat, breaking their gaze.
"Well, since I'll be attending tomorrow at least let me get a few things done." She stands, trying to escape the situation. Lisa stares at her for a moment before sighing heavily. "I truly can never stop you, hm?" She says softly and Jean only clicks her tongue.
"If you're for the life of leisure, then I'm for the migrains and paperwork. We all have our own special somethings." Jean says. "Special somethings?" Lisa muses, chuckling at her expense. Jean can't control the way her emotions burst and grow at every moment. "Poetic little one, aren't you?" Lisa says, laying back down on her bed. Jean stares with such vividness, she feels it at the bane of her soul.
Every wince, grin, the softness of her face, the rise and fall of her chest, her fingers -- slender and long, and even the way her eyelashes flutter. Jean takes in all of it and reminds herself time and time again. She attempts to indulge for just a moment, a moment only. It should not be too much, right?
But once you touch the depth of the water you truly can not swim out unscathed. Jean realizes this and still dives head first towards Lisa Minci.
"Little one?" Jean questions, her hand lightly holding onto one of Lisa's fingers. Just a touch, fleeting at best. "In my eyes, Jean." She smiles once more. Jean doesn't think of it wrongly or terribly. Instead she accepts the somewhat confusing nickname she's given.
"Will you be here when I'm done with work?" Jean leans closer. Lisa's smile stills for a moment, her eyes widening just ever so slightly. "Perhaps," She replies cryptically. Jean nods her head, "I'll be back." She says. It's a request, hidden? Yes, but Jean knew Lisa understood every last word.
That was just who the great mage was. Jean rises, clearing her throat and taking a final glance at Lisa laying supine. She feels a motivation of sorts climb onto her shoulders as she grabs her coat.
-
It's five in the morning and Jean is feeling deflated. Perhaps it was because she could not stop her excited steps as she rushed back into her room at two to find Lisa gone. She denies it as much as she can but knows it leads none of her definied logic and whatnot away from the truth.
And so she huffs and gruffs as she does on all her other bad days. She takes a mug, this time a brown ceramic one Albedo had gotten for her as a gift. She pours a cup of old coffee and she sighs. Jean closes her eyes for a moment, it's not the tiredness affecting her. No, she has dealt with that far too many times for it to be detrimental now.
Her head aches and her eyes water. Jean turns on her heel, taking a good sip of her coffee. "I have never seen you up this early!" The voice is familiar. It's sprightly and bright as it always is. She stops her footsteps and comes face to face with the owner of said voice.
"Master Jean!" It's Amber excitedly smiling at her as soon as she notices her presence. Next to her is a Lisa with a startled look on her face. "Hello, Amber. Good morning to you." She greets politely as she always does. "Would you like to join me for a quick breakfast?" Amber says excitedly.
"Apologies, I'm a bit busy."
Lisa avoids her gaze so clearly. Jean takes a breath in. She doesn't bother to speak, she would take the slight ache in her heart than make the woman uncomfortable. "I'll see you at Captain Kaeya's birthday party then?" Amber waves before she can leave. "Ah . . . Yes, I'll see you there." Jean smiles as much as she can before nodding.
Lisa seems to relax when Jean passes by her. The Acting Grand Master keeps her head up as she always does. No minor inconvenience must bother her. That is the way of her knight's honor and she must uphold it with every breath she takes.
Jean clenches her jaw as she sits onto her chair. That is the very bane of her existence. She closes her eyes and calms herself slowly. Deep breaths -- like Lisa taught her. Jean only eats her feelings and moves on quick. Her eyes focus on the task at hand.
The raging amount of paperworks and her ever so inefficient knights. Jean purses her lips, was pride and honor important afterall? She wonders and questions. But of course, without it who would she be? Jean holds the question at her tongue.
Today was not a day for her to question faith or identity. Today was not a day for Jean to shovel over her trampled feelings. Today was not that day. That day would never come.
So, Jean only downs her coffee and drives her attention into her work.
The day feels slow and the slight ticking of the clock is the only thing reminding her to take a breath every now and then. It's only by nine when she can feel the weight of the pressure dig into her bones. The three hours of sleep truly aren't doing well for her. She pushes on regardless.
By ten there's a knock on the door, a reminder that the day has only begun. "Come in," Jean yawns, stretching her back.
Eula enters quietly, offering Jean a nod. "Good morning, Eula!" Jean smiles brightly and Eula hums. "Good morning, Master Jean." Eula has her usual expression on her face. "Just Jean is fine," Jean chuckles and Eula seems to relax at that.
"Right, Jean." Eula nods and Jean nods back. "Are you busy? If so, I can return later but remember, my revenge waits for no one." She huffs and Jean finds amusment in the way she does. "I'm fairly free," Jean says, leaning forward.
"Great, I would just like to discuss my weekly report." Eula says, crossing her arms. "Go ahead," Jean says, urging her. There's a heavy feeling grazing across the crown of her head but she ignores it. "I came across a Fatui camp recently." Eula gets serious. Jean listens as intently as she can.
"They seemed to have discovered . . . greater technology. They found weapons that broke my claymore into two." Eula sighs. "I made quick work of them, of course." She says, easing Jean's mind slightly. "I see . . ." Jean nods. "I will take note of this and see what we can do to tighten security. And about your claymore--"
"No worries, I have that under control. I will not ask for favors, afterall how will I inact my vengeance on someone I owe?" Eula says. Jean smiles, "That being said, I would like to challenge you to a duel." Eula stands. Jean raises a cautious eyebrow and looks at the clock. An hour of sword fighting would not be in vein.
Jean stands and releases a heavy breath. "If you lose and dishonor the name of Acting Grand Master, vengeance shall be mine." Eula puts her hands on her hips and Jean laughs once more. "Surely," She acknowledges.
She makes her way out of her desk. Her feet heavy and her eyes looming with tiredness. She feels her chest constrict and her head spins. "Jean?" Eula's voice is laced with worry.
Jean feels her knees give up on her.
Eula holds onto her, "Are you alright?" She says and Jean winces. "Yes, apologies, Eula." She replies, holding onto the desk for support. "Honestly," Eula sighs. "I can not conduct my vegeance towards a sick person that would sully my clan's name. Go get some rest." She says and despite all her mumbling Jean knows it's in good spirit.
"Though I thank your concern, I do have work to get done." Jean's voice is weak. Eula sighs, "Must I call the librarian?" She responds strongly. Jean tries not to respond out of panic. "Please keep this a secret between you and me." She requests, her head pounding harder by the second. Eula seems to be in deep thought before she releases a sigh.
"Is this perhaps due to the gathering that will happen later?" Eula asks tenaciously. Jean swallows hard, ignorning the heat crawling up her neck. "Yes, that has some part to play." Jean admits truthfully. Eula helps her back onto her chair.
"Amber had warned me that you seemed quite battered." Eula crosses her arms once more as Jean shifts in her seat. "Perhaps I should do a better job of concealing my fatigue then." Jean mumbles and Eula sighs.
"As it looks like I will be unable to take vengeance for quite some time I will take my leave. Allow me to assist you in any of your needs. Especially, if you are trying to keep this a secret." Eula says softly and Jean nods.
"Thank you, Eula." She smiles weakly, trying to ignore the way her legs tremble. Eula nods, turning away and closing the door promptly.
Jean tries to ignore the image of Eula's worry. She can deal with that once she has recovered. Now, however? Jean stares at the last few piles of paper work. She takes a deep breath in.
Now was not the time to get sick.
-
Jean Gunnhildr
Acting Grand Master.
She signs off the last paper and takes a breath in. She feels like she's about to pass out any moment now. But her promise is a promise. Jean stares at the clock, she's already twenty six minutes late.
With the last bit of strength she has, Jean closes her books and fixes her desk. She removes her shoulder guard and relinquishes the title of Acting Grand Master. For at least the night.
Jean closes the light, expecting to return by midnight. She finall exits her office for the first time in over fourteen hours. The numbing pain is something she is used to at this point. The hallways of the headquarters are barren, as expected. Jean only smiles softly as she trudges her way out the building.
She rubs her eyes tiredly, taking a moment to look at the bustling night streets of her hometown. Jean puts on her proud smile and makes her way down to Angel Share. She isn't quite sure what they could be doing down there. If Diluc has even approved of Kaeya's festivities to be held there. Regardless, she's somewhat tired of all the questions.
For once in a very long time, Jean wants to be just Jean. "You made it," She's startled by the voice. She raises a tentative eyebrow, "Eula?" She says, relaxing. Eula takes a good look at her up and down before nodding.
"If we go in at the same time they wil not suspect you of overworking, correct?" Eula gives her a soft gaze. Jean would have to thank her profusely once this is over. "Yes . . ." She mumbles. "Then let us head in," Eula turns back before she pushes the door open. "This does not mean I will not be acting my vegeance on you."
Jean smiles, "Understood." She replies. Eula can't seem to stop the curve her own lips as she pushes the door open.
Inside, the tavern is bustling. Members of the Knights of Favonious are roaring to have a drink with Kaeya who seems intent on keeping sober. Amber is sitting in a corner waving at Eula enthusiastically. Diluc is polishing a glass as Venti chuckles along.
Jean takes a breath in. This was home.
"You've made it! Master Jean!" Klee is jumping up and down at her feet. Jean chuckles, smiling brightly. "I would not miss it." She takes Klee into her arms, the girl has gotten heavier since she last carried her. Jean smiles. Klee hugs her tightly and a warmth spreads across her chest.
"Master Jean, are you okay? You are hot, hot! Big Brother says when people's temperatures increase the likelihood that they have a fever increases because heat is trapped inside their bodies and it is a sign of your body fighting of the virus. Page sixty two of my biology anthology!" Klee sounds extremely excited but Jean only chuckles. "Nothing to worry about, Klee." She puts the child down.
"Go play with the other kids."
Klee tilts her head in confusion but jumps up and down at the word 'play.' Jean smiles softly to herself as she scours the tavern to grab a seat.
Venti hums, sipping on his glass as he turns towards the sight of Jean. Even the silent Diluc can't seem to keep his eyes away. "You look deep in thought," Diluc says calmly and Venti chuckles. "It looks like our Acting Grand Master has alot on her mind." He comments cryptically. Diluc takes another sharp glance at Jean before sighing.
"Knights of Favonious, so inefficient. One person slaves and works their health into protecting Mondstadt. While the rest are here celebrating what?" He tsks and Venti thrums through his lyre. "If only you could see, these things are not that easy. Inefficient, you say but they are the best. Their heart and soul have passed the test." Venti smiles.
"If heart and soul could protect a nation then we would have never needed a god."
Venti sighs, "How can you be truly just like your ancestors?" He crosses his arms. "Is that supposed to be a compliment?" Diluc glares and Venti pushes his glass forward in reply.
Jean finds herself, unfortunately, towards the center of attention. A bunch of drinks are shoved into her hand before she even has the chance to deny. She wonders how Kaeya does it. "Come on, Master Jean. What's a party without drinks?" They chorus and Jean can barely find it in herself to ruin the mood.
She winces lightly before taking a swig at the wine. There are light cheers as she forces a smile. Eula seems to look at her with worry. Amber whispers something into her ear and Jean knows better than to intrude. "Captain Kaeya, even Master Jean has had a cup or two."
Kaeya turns his eyes towards the crowd at the sound of Jean's name. The moment they meet eyes Kaeya waves, she wonders if it's a signal for help. Jean stares into her glass. She takes a final heavy sip before she puts it down.
Kaeya walks over to her with excitement. Jean's eyes wander, matcing with Diluc's for a moment before he pulls away. Jean only smiles softly. "Jean!" Kaeya slugs an arm around her. "Great to see you here," He shoves a drink into her hand, one that was presumably shoved into his just moments ago. Jean stares at it with a headache bubbling.
"Happy birthday, Kaeya." She nods, clearing her throat. Kaeya takes a good look around the area before lowering his voice. "Lisa is at the counter over to your right, you may have missed her." He whispers. Jean flushes red immediately, "Kaeya--" He pushes her forward.
"Come on, I assure you she has been waiting for you all night." He says promisingly. Jean considers commenting on his soberness but the smell of his fresh breath is far too convincing. She sighs before timidly turning towards Lisa. The woman sits at the counter silently, listening to Venti and Diluc's bickering.
She's hard to find, or maybe Jean's eyes have been avoiding her afterall. "Let's catch a drink later if you're still here," Kaeya says faintly before he's pulled away by another crowd. "I thought you weren't drinking!" Jean chuckles and Kaeya winks at her. Jean rolls her eyes as she swirls the mug in her hand.
She groans, that one cup she had hurriedly shoved down her system felt gross enough. Jean rarely drank, if anything, her alcohol range was terrible. She could barely have two glasses of wine before passing out. Yet here she was, the night just starting, a fever brewing at her chest, her mind disorderly, a cup of wine already down her throat, and another in her hand.
She releases a breath as she takes a quiet seat next to Lisa. Diluc slides over towards her. "I'll take that away from you." He offers. Jean bites her tongue, "No worries, Master Diluc." She smiles. Venti and Diluc exchange a glance. Jean nods in assurance and Diluc releases a breath.
"There is no reason for you to call me master anymore." Diluc hums. Jean smiles tightly, "Apolgies, old habits die hard." She mumbles.
Diluc turns back as Venti chuckles. They have their own conversation and Jean feels herself sink into her seat. "You should've gone to bed if you were feeling sick," Lisa sighs. Jean hates the way her heart immediately beats faster, louder.
She chuckles. "I didn't feel like going back to bed. I had my fair share of sleep." Jean takes a tentative sip of the wine. Sweet but bitter, she winces. The cup earlier was not enough to get her used to the taste. Let alone the effects. "You've never been fond of alcohol." Lisa finally turns to look at her. The woman is ethereal.
Time and time again, Jean can not help but be held under the crushing weight that is Lisa. Her beauty catches her breath. "Yes," Jean mumbles. "I have alot on my mind." She admits carefully. Lisa smiles, it's teasing. "Tell me what's on your mind?" She holds Jean's hand softly.
It drives Jean insane. She turns away quickly. "Jean?" Lisa's eyebrows raise in startle. Jean holds her breath and downs the cup as fast as she can. Lisa's eyes widen, she tries to tug the cup away but it's to no avail. "Jean!" Lisa scolds, she leans in to check her temperature.
Jean knows it's unsightly. If any knight saw her now she would be unable to live past the embarassment. "Okay, I think I'm better now." Jean smiles despite the sudden pounding in her head growing by tenfold. "That is going to be your last drink." Lisa says sternly. Jean tilts her head, smiling like a fool. "Allow me to be a bit reckless for tonight." She whispers.
Lisa feels herself become speechless as Diluc refuses to give Jean another glass. He looks over at Lisa for approval. "I--"
"Lisa!" Some drunkards call. Jean cranes her head over to see the commotion. "I found the guy who hasn't returned the book!" He slurs his words. Venti chuckles, intervening quickly. "You should go check it out. Who knows? It may be more amusing than you think." He says and Lisa sighs.
Lisa gives Diluc a soft nod as she stands. "I'll be back, just stay here." Lisa says and Jean nods obediently. She rests her head onto the counter once Lisa is gone. Diluc sighs, pouring her another glass. "When was the last time I saw you like this? Truly," He grumbles.
"Dad came back . . ." She mumbles. "And Barbara tried to run away from home," She yawns and Diluc takes a breath in. "Indeed it was then." He nods. Venti offers Jean a soft smile. "You have gone through alot, Dandelion Knight." He hums, stringing through his lyre once more. Jean tilts her head in an attempt to sip from her third glass.
Diluc takes the glass away from her despite being the one who had poured it. He takes his apron off and walks around the counter. "Let's get you home instead." He sighs. "Lisa said stay here . . ." She says softer.
"Barbatos," Her voice is weak.
"Venti," Venti corrects. Jean smiles, "Venti." She nods and Venti acknowledges her. "What is it you wish to ask?" He smiles. Jean tries her best to sit up. "Are the winds in my favour?" Even she can't help but slur her words just a bit. Venti chuckles, "The winds have always been in your favour, Master Jean." He smiles.
"Alright, that's enough out of you." Diluc tries to carry her.
"I can handle that." Lisa's voice is like crackling thunder. It's like a sudden boom in Jean's head. Diluc releases Jean from his grasp. Even he wouldn't dare attempt to sully her mood. "Don't take it the wrong way," He says lightly. Lisa forces a smile, "It's hard not to considering . . . your history." She sighs.
Diluc only shakes his head, "It'd be good for you to be less skeptical of everything,"
"Including her."
Lisa doesn't speak, instead she tugs on Jean's sleeve. And the woman follows her like a lost puppy. "Let's get you back to bed," Lisa sighs and Jean frowns. "Are you angry?" Her voice is dry. "I will answer your question once we leave," She whispers lowly and Jean feels her eyes droop.
"Alright," Jean nods, trying her best to stand without falling or tripping over. Lisa sighs at the sight, opening the door for Jean. "See you around!" Venti sing songs and Lisa only closes the door. The silence is much more soothing already.
Lisa pinches the bridge of her nose. "So, are you mad? Have I done something to make you upset?" Jean hums and Lisa clenches her jaw lightly. "You and Diluc are very frustrating to watch," She says pointedly. "I'm sorry," Jean says. Lisa softens at her apology.
"There is nothing for you to be sorry about, Jean." She sighs. "Let's get you back to your bed." Lisa sighs and Jean closes her eyes.
The breeze feels calming in a way it has never been. She thanks Venti at the back of her mind. Perhaps that is why she feels the sudden need to speak. To end the suffering she has gone through for the last few years right here and now. Jean opens her eyes, staring at the night sky.
The sight is breathtaking but not in the way Jean feels when she sees Lisa. She nibbles her lip as Lisa watches her expectantly. Jean sighs.
"Lisa," Her voice is much clearer now. Lisa turns to look at her. "I feel as though I have to say this now." Jean feels an odd stroke of confidence burn through her lungs. Lisa stares at her as she always has.
"Think before you speak, Jean."
"I have thought about these words far too many times for me to backtrack."
Lisa nods.
The words sit at her tongue. The silence is endearing but suffocating. Jean pinches herself lightly on the arm. She needs to say this. It was now or never and she knows it too.
Fear was not to be a blunder but a tool.
"When I look at you, I feel as though my mind eases just a bit more. I feel as though I can not breathe at times and I can breathe clearer at other times." She speaks with clarity, it's hard to say she's drunk or sick. "At first I thought these were the effects of being tired. I went to seek Albedo for assistance but he told me something I have been avoiding for the last two years." She swallows hard. Lisa's eyes are glowing.
It's that damned moonlight again.
"You are one of the greatest witches in Teyvat, right?" She's breathless as she steps forward. Lisa's stare changes ever so slightly. "Perhaps," She says. The word sets a fire ablaze inside Jean's chest.
"Then surely you must know what this is . . . Maybe even before I knew," Jean takes another stride forward. Lisa's lips thin as she releases a breath. "Jean . . . I can not tell you what it is." She whispers. "Must I say it for myself?" Jean contests. She's bolder, she refuses to back down.
She knows this isn't right.
"I will claim it's the alcohol talking by tomorrow," Lisa bites her tongue as Jean's hand wraps around her waist tenderly. "Why?" She sighs softly when Lisa melts into her touch. "I can not afford to try something so painful when I know it will never work." Lisa whispers weakly.
Jean stares into her eyes. Her throat dries, she can't think straight. "But what makes you so sure?" Jean squeezes her hand, like she always has. Lisa releases a shaky breath. "Time has never been on my side, dear Jean." She's vulnerable in more ways than one.
It is so unlike the Lisa that Jean has learned to know. Regardless of that, Jean continues to love. Every nook and cranny, every breath and gaze -- everything that is Lisa Minci.
"Only tragedy awaits--"
Jean kisses her.
She herself isn't sure what posses her. All she knows is that there is a gaping hole in the center of her chest begging for solace.
So she gives in.
She gives in to one of the very things she has claimed as her soul. Lisa pulls her in closer, lips nipping and desperately matching against each other. Lisa hums, as Jean finds her hand crawling up her thigh in a moment of sheer confidence. The taste of Lisa on her tongue is enough to clear her mind.
Then it's all over. Like a flicker of light blown by the gusts of the sea. "Let me stay," Jean refuses to let her go. She holds on to the last thread of the roots she's sewn together with trembling hands.
Lisa shakes her head softly. "I must say goodnight, Jean."
Jean holds her hand. "I will find you every day for the rest of my life, until I can say you were mine at least just once. So, please--"
Lisa presses a softer kiss onto her lips. "You mustn't be so desperate against an unmovable force," She says against her lips. "So just for now . . . Allow me to say goodnight." She smiles.
Jean feels her heart just a bit fuller than it once was.
And as Jean has done time and time again before -- she gives into the force that is Lisa Minci.