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As Kim walks away, Porchay’s world crumbles. He can feel himself sinking, can feel the warmth of tears running down his face. Porchay lets himself have this moment. Soon, he will return to the compound, but he absolutely cannot let his brother see him like this.
After a few minutes pass, the tears start to dry and he can feel a headache coming in from the dehydration, Porchay lets himself get up, taking a deep breath and walks to the nearest convenience store. He walks in, heads to the bathroom and splash’s water on his face. Sending thanks that he remembered his wallet, he buys a water bottle, taking slow sips as he walks back to the main family’s house.
He shudders, steels himself and enters. He doesn’t make eye contact with any of the guards, keeping his head down. A part of him wants to run to his brother and cry in his arms, but he can’t ruin his brother's happiness with his sobs. His brother has suffered too much at his unknowing hands. He walks to his room, locks the doors and slides to the floor. He’s run out of tears to cry, but he will let himself wallow in sadness for a day, he deserves this.
He takes out his guitar, the one his P’Kim- no, Wik, he sternly reminds himself, gave him and strums. He wishes he had his other guitar, the one he bought with the birthday money his Hia gave him, the one that was given to him by someone who truly loved him, who didn’t use him for information, who cared about his well-being.
He plucks out a melancholy tune, bittersweet lyrics flow through him. He won’t pretend he isn’t sad, he’s just experienced his first heartbreak, everyone he cares about has lied to him, he has no one to lean on unconditionally. He won’t let himself ruin his brother’s happiness, even if he would rather be anywhere else. But he’ll let himself have one day. He can be strong tomorrow.