Archive of Our Own ^beta

It’s a terrible idea. A horrible idea, really.

It’s disastrous, catastrophic, crazy, regrettable, delirious, and so on. It’s an idea that will lead to nothing good. Good thing Shez is completely aware of this.

That doesn’t stop her from placing the arrangement of flower right smack dab in front of Edelgard’s towering tent. It truly is a really tall tent. It reaches towards the stars in an indigo sky and spreads out around the area more than any other tent meant for a single person at the Adrestian Empire’s base camp. But it’s the least of Shez’s concerns when she is wrapped up in a stream of screaming in her ear.

“Shez, listen to me! I’ve already saved your life one hundred and twenty-eight times since we’ve met, but it’s about to be one hundred and twenty-eight plus a failure if you don’t turn around now!” Arval screams from the corner of her mind where they loom.

Shez does the best thing anyone would do about a person who only exists in Shez’s mind screaming at her: She hums a cheery tune.

As she continues to hum the absolutely beautiful song that will block out any screaming in her life, she searches the area for any people. Thankfully, her eyes only catch sight of the shadow of the soldier currently keeping watch of the base camp for the night who is currently looking the opposite way.

Great! Step one of the make a fool out of Shez plan complete!

Shez moves on to the next step of the plan, her hand reaching into her pocket. A second later, it leaves with a folded up piece of paper in its grasp.

‘To Edelgard,’ it starts with and it ends with- Well… Both Shez and Arval know fully well what the entire letter says. It’s the entire reason Arval is currently shouting at Shez.

Shez gulps away any hesitation and tucks the note away with the flowers that glow lavender under the moonlight. It’s a lavender that reminds her of the unknowing person on the other side of the tent right in front of her and of just how much of an idiot Shez is. And it’s a lavender she turns away from as she goes to walk back to her own tent.

“There’s still time to turn around and take that note back! You can still fix this!” Arval continues. Shez continues to hum her tune louder.

Somewhere in the midst of the chaos that is Arval’s shouts and Shez’s overly loud humming, she is able to spot out the dining tent on the way back to her own tent. It was just there during lunch earlier today when Shez had turned her own world upside down.

“Would you like flowers? I picked these nearby to give to my boyfriend, but I had completely forgotten that his favorite flowers are yellow!” The soldier had said as she reached the flower arrangement out towards Shez, a frantic shadow painted behind her in the midday light of the base camp’s grounds.

“Sure, why not?” Shez had said in ignorance of what the future would hold.

“Thank you for taking this off my hands! I could’ve sworn my boyfriend said he liked lavender flowers, not yellow ones. I thought I wouldn’t find anyone to give these flowers to since everyone is so busy preparing for the Garreg Mach battle. I can’t believe we’re really going to march to Garreg Mach in two days!”

Shez had waved it off. She could already see the pair of eyes that were an exact match to the lavender flowers.

“It’s no problem. You just get prepared for the battle, I’m sure someone has to like the color purple.” Shez’s mistake was to pause after that. The pause allowed her mind to think, and thinking allowed the idea come to her head.

“Actually, I already know just who to give it to,” she had added. And that was where her horrible plan had started.

Now she walks down the base camp’s grounds to her tent tonight. Her hands are finally relieved of carrying the burden that was the bouquet of flowers and folded letter she had written in her tent after receiving the flowers as Arval screamed at her about what a mistake it would be to give such a letter to the emperor.

But what can a being that exists only in one’s mind against a terrible idea? Nothing.

And that is exactly why a letter sits with flowers in front of the Adrestian emperor’s tent that starts with ‘To Edelgard,’ and ends with ‘From, your secret admirer.’

Last night is a fever dream when Shez enters the camp’s dining area for breakfast this morning. It’s a far off fever dream currently moving further away while she grabs a plate of food. It’s even further away as she walks to find a table while she hums the same song she had hummed last night.

Then it smacks her right in reality when she hears it.

“Shez,” someone hisses at her.

She stops to look in the direction of the voice. Her gaze finds a red haired woman sitting at one of the wooden tables frantically pointing at the spot across from her. The dark haired man next to her and the person with white hair noticeable from a mile away look anything but pleased with the red haired woman’s call.

“Oh, Monica, Hubert,” Shez greets once she makes it to the table. She sits down before turning her gaze to their other dining participant. “Edelgard.”

Shez’s heart takes a leap as Edelgard meets her gaze. In the lavender expanse of Edelgard’s gaze, Shez can only see the words she had written to Edelgard yesterday. Those words are what turn Shez’s stomach into a knot. Shez spilled her heart to Edelgard and now Edelgard most likely knows everything that Shez feels for her minus the name. It was much less of a daunting thought when Edelgard wasn’t looking right at her.

“Good morning, Shez,” Edelgard greets back, taking Shez out of her gaze. Her lips curl up into a miniscule smile. Monica does not have the benefit of smiling in Shez’s direction. Instead, she frowns down at her lap before hastily looking around at her surroundings. Edelgard’s smile twitches at the sight.

When Monica has finally deemed the area “safe” enough, she looks back over to Shez. Shez doesn’t even have the time to question what is going on before Monica leans over the table with a hand blocking her mouth from any potential onlookers.

“We are in dire need of your assistance. There is an intruder at the camp,” she hastily whispers.

Edelgard digs her face into one of her hands. When the hand slips away, she looks exhasutedly at the world.

Hubert merely laughs.

“Has anyone told you how paranoid you are, Monica. It is almost amusing,” Hubert chuckles.

Monica looks over at Hubert.

“You’re not paranoid enough! This can be a real danger towards her Majesty, especially the day right before our march on Garreg Mach.”

Edelgard sighs.

“Monica, please don’t tell everyone we see such tales. It’s hardly a pressing concern,” she says.

“But it is,” Monica pushes as she pulls something up into view. Shez’s heart does a cartwheel once she realizes what it is.

Monica waves the folded piece of paper in her hand through the air.

“No one just leaves a note outside the emperor’s tent professing their love for her,” she adds. The piece of paper burns holes into Shez’s soul. How has Shez come to the point in life where Monica is holding her anonymous love letter to Edelgard von Hresvelg in the middle of breakfast?

Edelgard rolls her eyes.

“It would hardly be the first time someone confessed their love to me in any sort of way. I’m the emperor, it is bound to happen. I’m sure Dimitri and Claude are no stranger to such things either.”

Monica shakes her head.

“It doesn’t make it any more right. Besides, those are common people’s confessions. This,” Monica gives the paper one extra flop, “is someone who could very well be sleeping three tents away from all of us and fighting by your side. They are bound to be someone close to you based on the contents of this letter. So why is it that they would be brave enough to confess but not brave enough to sign their name unless there is an alternative motive here?” Monica thoughtfully looks off into the distance before her eyes light up. “The flowers! Those flowers are probably imbued with a dark magic to poison you through their scent! We must destroy them at once, Your Majesty!”

“Monica. You’re getting much too far ahead of yourself.”

Oh please, save Shez from this entire conversation.

“Your Majesty. You can be in complete danger right now.”

“A flower is not going to take me out.”

“Leaders have gone down by much more miniscule means.”

Edelgard sighs once more. As if she has read Shez’s mind, she turns her gaze towards the woman.

“How about you, Shez? What do you make of this situation?” She asks. Her gaze is unreadable.

Anytime now, Goddess.

“Um….” Is all Shez can coherently let out.

Somewhere in the midst of Monica’s worries and Shez’s wishes for the Goddess’s mercy, it hits Shez that yes, she left a love letter in front of the emperor’s tent. That yes, Edelgard read every single word of Shez’s feelings. That yes, Edelgard is most likely going to try to figure out who wrote the letter. That yes, Edelgard is most likely going to try to figure out who wrote the letter. That yes, Edelgard will probably figure it out. And that yes, Shez is an idiot to think that a mercenary like her leaving a love letter for an emperor was something she should actually do beyond her dreams.

And yes, it is all completely world shattering.

Hubert smiles in amusement as Shez’s world crumbles.

“What a splendid idea,” he chimes in.

Monica lights up.

“Yes, please tell Her Majesty what a safety concern this is!”

Shez frantically looks from Edelgard’s unreadable expression to Hubert’s to Monica’s and realizes that the Goddess has left her for the wolves to eat.

Hubert turns his smiles towards Monica.

“Perhaps we should enlighten our friend here by reading her the letter in question so she can see just how harmless this letter is.”

Shez stiffens. Edelgard blinks away the look from her eyes.

“Surely that isn’t necessary, Hubert,” Edelgard says.

Monica nods enthusiastically.

“For once you actually provide a good idea, Hubert. Let me just unfold the paper again and…” There’s a crumple as Monica unfolds the letter, Edelgard’s protests falling to deaf ears.

It’s only when Monica begins to read it out loud that Shez’s heart drops.

“To Edelgard,” Monica begins. “I’m at a loss on-”

Shez reaches over and snatches the letter from Monica’s hand before the woman can even finish the sentence. Monica sends Shez a puzzled look while Hubert smiles knowingly at the dining table. Edelgard frowns at Monica while Shez sends Monica an apologetic smile.

“Sorry, I just don’t want someone’s private letter read out in public. You never know who it could be, you know?” Shez tries her best to say steadily.

Hubert nods along.

“I agree wholeheartedly. If this mystery person did not want to reveal their name, I doubt they want their private letter read out in public. Edelgard sharing the letter with me and Monica this morning probably already grazed the limit.” Hubert looks Shez directly in the eye. “Besides, as Shez stated before, you never who it could be. Perhaps it could be someone at this table.”

Why must the Goddess be so cruel?

Monica snorts. “Yeah, who? You?”

Hubert snorts back.

“While I respect Her Majesty, she is not the one I would give a love letter to.”

“So there is someone you’d give a love letter to.”

Shez and Edelgard exchange exasperated glances. So much for breakfast when no one has touched the food on their plates in favor of just bickering over love letters. This is where Shez’s idiocy has led her: To wasted breakfasts as the Goddess does everything to ignore Shez’s struggles.

“You’re getting off topic.”

Monica sighs and rests her chin on the table.

“You’re right, I should be more concerned with Her Majesty’s safety at the moment.” She looks over at Shez. “Which brings me to why I called you over here.”

Shez already has a horrible feeling about this.

“Which is? Shez is almost afraid to ask, but asking will make things over sooner, right?

Monica smiles and yup, it looks like poor trouble.

“Well…”

The sun has just fallen past the horizon when Shez sits herself right in the grass in front of Edelgard’s tent. Just like yesterday, it stands tall towards the stars.

Shez does not stand tall, however. She sulks in the grass with her sword sulking equally as much on the ground next to her. She sulks as almost every other person in the camp heads to their sleeping quarters. As the line of candlelight shining through the crack of Edelgard’s tent is blown out. And as Hubert and Monica head off in the distance.

“It’s Monica’s idea to keep watch at Edelgard’s tent for the night, yet her and Edelgard’s other loyal servant get to sleep the night away?” Shez huffs. A gust of cool air blows past her and now she gets even more annoyed at the weather itself.

Arval chuckles in the back of Shez’s mind.

“Why not take it as the compliment that it is? Obviously Monica and Hubert believe you are the most qualified person to protect Edelgard which must mean that you’re both trustworthy and strong,” they sing with stinging sarcasm.

Shez flops back first onto the ground and groans up towards the sky.

“Now isn’t the time for sarcasm. I’m stuck sitting outside Edelgard’s tent for the entire night right before we’re to attack Garreg Mach! What was Monica thinking, making me do this?”

Arval sighs.

“I would just like to add that this would not have happened if you burned that stupid love letter in a fire. One hundred and twenty-eight successes and you still won’t listen to me. Monica’s idea to have you keep watch near Edelgard’s tent the entire night is because of your horrible judgment. It’s no wonder Hubert didn’t do much to deter Monica’s idea and that Edelgard couldn’t convince Monica that she can more than defend herself, which we all know is true. They could just feel how horrible your judgment is, even if they don’t know you wrote the love letter.”

The silence that follows speaks a million words. Even cricketers chirping couldn’t fill the silence.

“Arval,” Shez quietly breaks the silence with.

She can just feel Arval’s shit eating grin.

“Yes, Shez?”

“Please shut up.”

It must be halfway through the night when Edelgard’s tent rustles open and interrupts Shez’s humming a few hours later. Even Arval’s spot in Shez’s mind is completely silent, her friend most likely asleep.

The song thrumming against Shez’s throat is the same from the night before as she tore away her fear and left her love letter for Edelgard at this same spot. But unlike last time, Edelgard walks out of the tent and stops the humming.

There in the moonlight, Edelgard stands like a star fallen from the sky, eyes glowing and hair shining like the moon. Here, the entire world is asleep except for the two of them.

The wrinkles on her pajamas shift as she goes to sit by Shez’s side in the grass outside of her tent. Her lips are pressed into a silent line. Her eyes look out towards the horizon, the shadow of Garreg Mach looming in the distance.

The tent rustles shut, the wind lightly brushes by rattling the leaves of nearby trees, and even Edelgard lets out a breath as she shifts. There is a soft noise at every corner of the night, yet it is utterly silent all the same.

Shez’s fingers twirl around the blades of grass under her hands. Here she sits in her full armor in the middle of the night next to a weaponless Imperial Emperor in her pajamas. Somewhere along the line, a rule must’ve gotten broken. Too bad it has already happened. There is no going back. All Shez can do is look forward, even if a letter full of her feelings for Edelgard sits in the tent behind them.

“What song is it that you have been humming as of lately?” Edelgard suddenly asks.

Shez snaps her gaze towards Edelgard. She’s met with a lavender gaze staring right back at her. It’s expected that Edelgard would look towards her when talking, yet it still threatens to take Shez’s breath away.

“Hmm? The song I was just now humming you mean? I would hardly say I’ve been humming that song a lot recently.”

“You have, though. There was that time at breakfast today, right now, and-” Edelgard hastily cuts herself off before continuing in a less confident tone. “Well, those two instances.”

Shez shakes her head with a chuckle. The chill of the night air is suddenly a little less frigid.

“I think you might need some sleep there, Your Majesty. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you stumble that much, for words. Besides, two is hardly a large number of instances. We have an important battle tomorrow, it’d be best if you get all the rest you can.”

Edelgard looks off into the distance with an unreadable look. And is that a pout on her face? What part of the night has brought out this side of Edelgard?

“I never said it was only two instances,” she murmurs.

Shez smiles.

“You only listed two instances if you remember correctly. This is almost the same as saying it was only two instances.”

Edelgard huffs.

“I’ll return to bed when you tell me the name of the song. It’s a beautiful tune.”

Shez lets out a breath as she looks out towards Garreg Mach’s silhouette. Tomorrow, the Monastery will be a war ground. A place that used to be a place of peace and beginnings will now be a place of violence and endings. It’s soon to be a place that pulls Shez’s heart under the water.

“My mother used to sing it to me. My adopted mother.”

It seems as if nothing will ever be like it once was. The world would be much too bright if it could. And who could possibly see if everywhere one looked, it was only a light too bright to see anything else that exists in the world?

“Ah, I see. She must’ve sung it beautifully,” Edelgard softly remarks. She sends Shez a knowing look that speaks a thousand more words of comfort than actual words could.

Shez nods.

“She did,” she murmurs back, leading the two into a temporary silence.

It’s a few moments later when Edelgard begins to speak again.

“I had also known of a beautiful voice when I was younger. It was a noble boy I had been familiar with. He had the most wonderful voice.” Edelgard’s voice is filled with an excitement that Shez could spot from a mile away.

Shez smiles.

“A wonderful voice, huh? Could it be that this noble was something a little more special than a friend to you?”

It almost pulls a laugh out of Shez when Edelgard’s eyes go wide like a deer in headlights. Though, there’s not much time to relish in the expression before Edelgard shakes the expression away and lightly chuckles. She leans back on her palms and looks up to the stars.

“There is no getting anything past you, is there? Yes, I admit I may have felt something akin to affection towards him. Perhaps you could call it my first love. However, that was many many years ago and nothing came out of it. I never saw him again after-” Edelgard comes to a pause. Her lips curve into the shadow of a frown. “Well, it’s part of the past now.”

Shez’s chest squeezes at the sight. Here Edelgard sits, dismal eyes set towards the sky, still trapped in a cage from the past. If only Shez could free her from such a thing to just strike at it and chase it away. Yet it’s not as simple as that. If it was, would Shez still hum the same from her own past that feels like a lost boat in the sea?

There is nothing Shez can do accept be here for Edelgard. But if that is all she can do, she will make sure that she does.

Shez gulps and slowly moves her hand towards Edelgard’s. She comes to a halt once her hand reaches Edelgard’s, waiting for the woman to pull her hand away or interlace her fingers with Shez’s.

Shez lets out a silent breath when Edelgard laces their hands together effortlessly and continues to look towards the sky. Edelgard is still lost in a dismal past that Shez knows not much beyond an inkling about, but at least Shez is here to ground her to the best of her efforts.

“How did the song go?” Shez asks.

Edelgard’s lips pull up into an empty smile. It’s even more heart shattering than her frown.

“I don’t remember. It got lost among lots of other happy memories after it happened.” Edelgard sucks in a breath before she turns her gaze towards Shez. “I’ll tell you about it all one day. That time that sucked away those joyful times when all was still so perfect. Just not tonight. I don’t want to tarnish tonight.”

Shez’s heart still sinks at whatever could have left Edelgard looking at Shez like this. But she doesn’t let it show on her face. For now, she’ll be strong for Edelgard.

She squeezes Edelgard’s hand.

“I understand. Whenever you’re ready to tell me, I’ll be here to listen, I promise.”

Warmth finally grows behind Edelgard’s smile. It hugs Shez’s heart like a warm hug.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, Edelgard.”

Edelgard lets out a small laugh that leaves Shez scrunching at what could be possibly so funny. Her confusion must be written on her face because soon Edelgard brings her laughter to a halt. Yet the bright smile on her face remains.

“El,” she simply says.

“El?” Shez repeats.

Edelgard nods.

“Just call me El if you wish. There is no need to be so formal when we are sitting in the grass talking about neither of our exactly happy pasts.”

Now it’s Shez who blinks like a deer in headlights before smiling.

“El,” she says. The syllable feels right on her lips, as right as Edelgard’s hand in hers. And it feels right when she catches the way Edelgard’s smile shines at the sound of the name.

It’s when the turmoil of the past washes away for the moment that Edelgard asks it.

“Have you ever been in love?”

Shez’s letter burns like fire in the back of her mind.

“I think I’m falling in love with someone. Maybe I’ve already fallen for them,” she truthfully answers.

Edelgard hums. Her hand burns like fire in Shez’s.

“Is it someone here at camp?”

Shez goes still like a stone. Her heart plummets to her stomach.

“Aren’t you supposed to be going back to sleep now? I told you where the song was from.”

Edelgard’s smile can only spell out trouble.

“Who is it? Hubert?”

“El.”

“I’m only asking a question! So, is it Hubert?”

Shez sighs.

“No, he’s far too obsessed with you for starters to even think of him in that way.”

“A substantial point.” Edelgard pauses. “Hmmm, is it Monica?”

“No shot! She’s the one who forced me out here for the night!”

Edelgard looks up towards the sky in thought. She taps a finger against her chin. The smile that overtakes her lips the next moment screams at Shez to run. The look in Edelgard’s eyes as she turns her gaze to Shez only further fuels Shez’s regret of entertaining this part of the discussion.

“Is it me?”

Shez lets out the shakiest laugh she’s ever let out in her life.

“El, really?”

Edelgard shrugs.

“You are holding my hand at the moment.”

“And so are you!”

“I’ve never denied having feelings for you.”

Shez rolls her eyes. Of course Edelgard chooses to joke around at this moment.

“Do you think I’d be dumb enough to fall for an emperor? I’m fully aware that I’m just a merc.”

The smile falls from Edelgard’s face.

“You’re hardly just a mercenary.” Edelgard pauses and Shez holds her breath with it. “But I suppose it’s a good thing it’s not me. You’d have some significant competition with my recent secret admirer if so.”

Shez lets go of the breath once Edelgard’s next set of words come out. That was certainly a close call.

“I still can’t believe how much Monica overreacted about the entire thing. If she’s so concerned, why doesn’t she just sit out here and stalk your tent instead?” Shez asks, trying to the best of her abilities to lead the conversation away from Edelgard possibly being the one Shez is falling for.

Edelgard tilts her head.

“Because she can accept that you’re better company? I would much rather listen to you scramble to hide that even you can manage to fall for someone in the middle of a war than to hear about how blindly Monica is to me. You’re much less stressful to be around.”

“Am I now?”

“You very much are.”

Edelgard pauses. Not for the first tonight, she says something that almost knocks Shez over.

“Do you think the sender of that letter chose not to divulge their name because I’m not comfortable to be around?”

Shez’s face scrunches up.

“Hardly. Anyone who knows you knows that you’re far less intimidating than your reputation leads people to believe. At least off of the battlefield. On the battlefield… Well, it’s best to say that I would never want to be your opponent.”

Edelgard lightly laughs at those words as she sends Shez a knowing look.

“Then what is so scary about writing one’s name on a letter?”

“You mean what’s so scary about writing one’s name on a love letter? Well, rejection for starters,” Shez begins, putting up a finger on her free hand for each point. “Then there’s the fear of everything changing with that confession. Then thirdly, there’s the main fact that you’re Adrestia’s Emperor. That last one’s a pretty scary thought in itself.”

“But why not take a leap of faith? How do they know that I don’t feel the same?”

“They certainly don’t know if they didn’t sign their name.” Shez pauses. The air grows heavier around her. “Is there a chance you return their feelings?”

Edelgard glances around at the tents surrounding the camp as if she can see through each yet cannot find who it is she’s searching for in any of those tents. Her gaze is still off in the distance by the time she responds.

“It seems you’re not the only one who is falling for someone here.”

The air pushes down on Shez even as she forces a smile to her face. She laughs despite the way her stomach twists.

“Let’s only hope that it's not the same person we’re falling for,” she chuckles.

Edelgard doesn’t laugh. She only sends Shez an unreadable look.

“I highly doubt it.”

With the way Edelgard stares at Shez, with the way she utters those words, her mind can’t help but to run in circles. If El keeps on talking like this, Shez won’t be able to help but to think that Edelgard is falling for-

“But, I am dragging this conversation on. You require sleep if you are to battle your best tomorrow. Forget Monica’s orders and go to sleep in your quarters. I’m sure there’s someone back home you want to fight for, past or present.”

Shez shakes her head with a dry laugh.

“I don’t have much left, El. My birth parents, my adoptive mother, the mercenary crew, they’re all gone. I’m so far from that life that there is nothing that ties them to what I’m fighting for today. Tomorrow, I’m not fighting for them. There is someone else I must face in order to fight for them. Tomorrow, I’m fighting for someone else, a dear friend of mine.”

“And who might that be?”

The slight curve of Edelgard’s lips give her away.

Shez chuckles lightly.

“You already know who. Are you so keen on embarrassing me as to make me say who it is anyways. First I have to admit that I am falling for someone we both know and now I have to say what friend I am fighting for tomorrow? You really are cruel.”

Edelgard’s lips curl up.

“Perhaps I am.”

Shez heaves a sigh and rolls her eyes. She swats her free hand towards the tent. The breeze from the motion oes well to cool off the warmth building up under the skin of her cheeks.

“You’re sleep deprived. Go to sleep, Your Majesty. I’ve already answered your question about the song long ago.”

Edelgard’s lips wobble as she still tries to hold her smile back. It breaks through anyways.

She crosses her arms.

“Do you not wish to converse with me a moment longer?”

Shez huffs. If only Edelgard knew.

“As if we have not been conversing for enough moments already. If I wished for such a thing, I would tell you to go to sleep. Our enemies are all going to want your head tomorrow. A sleep deprived commander is just as good as a dead commander. I’m not quite skilled in communicating with ghosts, so I’d rather you go to sleep now so I can talk to you beyond tomorrow.”

Edelgard sighs but she gets up to her feet anyways. Shez’s hand feels much colder when Edelgard drops it.

It’s when Edelgard mutters a ‘goodnight’ and is at the entrance to her tent that she stops with her foot scuffing against the ground. Her fingers dance across the edge of the flap of the tent. She tilts her head ever so slightly that she just sits on the edge of glazing at Shez out of the corner of her eye.

“There are many people I’m fighting for tomorrow.” The tip of Edelgard’s lips quip up. “However, you could quite possibly be the one who is the most important to me that I will be fighting for tomorrow, Shez.”

Edelgard is in the tent before Shez can silently gasp. The cool air sucked into her lungs does little to chase away the warmth curling in her chest.

If only she knew it would fail to give her a spec of sleep.

The morning sun is bright when the Adrestian army marches upon Garrag Mach. It’s almost like a dream as dirt and pebbles crunch under Shez’s feet as she marches forwards, more towards the middle of the arrangement of soldiers. The Adrestian flag flies high far ahead of her at the front of the army where Edelgard marches. The sight of it pierces Shez’s vision like stars after hitting her head.

Perhaps the scene would feel more real if Shez was able to get more sleep in her tent beyond a blink before soldiers were already ushered to get up for today's upcoming battle. Well, everyone can’t always be a winner, she supposes.

“Sit this battle out.”

Shez’s head is heavy on her shoulders when she whips her gaze towards Hubert right next to  her. Where did he even come from? Was he always right there?

Shez isn’t quite sure if the squint in her eyes is from the scorching sun above them or if she is actually glaring at Hubert.

“Excuse me?” She hisses. The words are like weights on her tongue. They suck all of the energy from her body.

Hubert speeds up his walking pace. Shez follows along.

“Sit this battle out, I said,” Hubert repeats evenly.

He takes another step forward. He hardly breaks a sweat. Shez takes another step forward. Garreg Mach seems to pull a mile further away in the distance. Seriously, the army has been marching since before sunrise and Garreg Mach doesn’t seem any closer. Could they really be marching that slow?

Shez peaks towards the front of the army. Edelgard marches tall at the front like Shez had expected, axe at her side and vivid eyes set at the target in front of her. To her left, Monica marches at her side, and to her right, a soldier holding the Adrestian flag marches in Hubert’s place.

The sun is beating down on them, the sky is a burning blue, and the heat seems to be flowing from the ground up, yet everyone continues to march to the middle of Fódlan. Even Edelgard, the same person who had joked with Shez in the dead of night, is marching like she has slept a week. Even Linhardt of all people, looks somewhat alert where he marches just a little behind Shez and Hubert.

“And why would that be? Shez asks.

Hubert looks at her as if the answer is obvious.

“To sleep.”

“We’re about to fight Garreg Mach. This will be the most important battle we will have fought so far in the war and you’re suggesting I sleep?”

Shez fails to hide the yawn that leaves her lips next.

Hubert ‘tsks’. Even Arval chastates Shez from her mind.

“Your dark circles tell all there is to know. I would have expected you to ignore Monica’s ridiculous orders and sleep for what is much more important than watching the tent of the strongest soldier in our army. Has writing that letter to Her Majesty truly scrambled your mind so greatly?”

Shez lacks the energy to do much other than roll her eyes at Hubert’s “great reveal.” It was obvious from the second Hubert had looked at her knowingly during breakfast yesterday that he knew exactly where Edelgard’s secret admirer’s letter came from. At this point, Shez wouldn’t be surprised if Monica also knew and getting Shez to watch over Edelgard’s tent last night was a ploy to bring the two of them closer.

“That yawn you let out isn’t doing you any favors either! Listen to that obsessive servant and sit this battle out. Accept your defeat and admit we’re at one hundred and twenty-nine times plus failure that I’ve saved you already,” Arval adds to the imaginary brick wall in front of Shez by hissing right into her ear.

Shez silently huffs.

“It’s only one hundred and twenty-nine times and one failure if I decide to listen to you. And right now, fighting in this battle seems like the best course of action,” Shez tries to whisper in her quietest tone in order to prevent looking crazy to Hubert who already thinks she’s a sleep deprived idiot.

Of course Hubert still looks towards her with a puzzled expression.

“Pardon?” He asks.

Great! Hubert probably thinks Shez is a crazy person who talks to herself now anyways! The Goddess is not granting Shez any favors today also.

Shez shines her best smile.

“I was just saying how I’m completely fine, Hubert! Let me fight my enemies and you fight yours so we can win this battle for Her Majesty! Sound good?”

Hubert hardly looks like he thinks that sounds good but thankfully he doesn’t press the matter.

Sadly, Shez cannot say the same for Arval once the upcoming battle arrives. When the Empire soldiers roar and the Garreg Mach soldiers shout, Arval’s voice is the loudest among them. When the two armies clash together, Arval is the most prominent part of Shez’s mind. It’s already a challenging matter enough to fight in the midst of a battle with a tops of one hour of sleep. It is incredibly worse when there’s piercing shouting in Shez’s mind every time she strikes down an opponent.

Arval’s protests are worse than a banshee’s scream in Shez’s ear when she swings her swords. Her friend- nope, not friend at the moment when they’re currently piercing Shez’s eardrums. Her nuisance is the spinach in her teeth, the crust on her bread, the loose thread on her clothes, the chip in her cup as she swings her weapon at her opponents. It should be impossible that a voice in her head can be louder than the battlefield around her, yet here they are. She supposes she should have expected so from the moment the voice in her head first saved her life.

Shez swings the sword in her right arm at an opposing soldier.

“You’re a lunatic! A sleep deprived lunatic! Has the lack of sleep ripped you away from any common sense?” Arval exclaims.

Shez grits her teeth as she steps around her opponent, another Empire soldier throwing another strike towards them. Her left arm should be swinging her other sword towards her next opponent in the half a second she moved, yet it’s still sitting frozen at her side. Why hasn’t her arm moved yet?

“You’re a lunatic for screaming in my ear during a battle,” Shez hisses in return.

Shez finally swings her left arm at her next opponent. The limb moves as fast as a giant boulder as she swings it up. Her opponent hardly moves a muscle to block it.

“Because you won’t listen to reason otherwise! You can hardly lift your sword right now!”

Shez holds back a groan as she pushes her sword against the opposing soldier’s weapon. She puts her everything into moving the enemy’s weapon away, yet it won’t budge an inch. Instead, she’s standing here with an aching arm as her opponent pushes forward against her weapon.

The only sign of any excretion from the enemy is the grit of their teeth. The solid grip on their sword nor the fiery glint in their eyes gives them away. No, they are the monster to be feared on the battlefield as they push against Shez’s strike.

“What are you doing? This measly soldier is winning! At least use your other arm, too!” Arval continues.

The dirt under Shez’s feet slips like quick sand. The battle around her pushes forward while she is pushed back. It takes her much longer than a moment to understand what is happening when Arval shouts at her once more.

“You fool, run! This isn’t a battle you can win! Don’t you see that this soldier is about to strike you down with your own sword or are you too drowsy to see so?”

“Maybe if you would do your thing and power me up, this battle could go much more smoothly,” Shez struggles to grit out.

“You’re an even greater fool if you think I’ll enable any more of this nonsense!”

The words hit Shez like it is all underwater. It takes a moment for them to register as a language in the lake of her drowsy mind. Maybe she really does need a nap.

Nevertheless, the fog is pierced by a ray of darkness; A shadow that consumes the soldier in a moment. The scene is both a dream and the sharpest edge of reality to Shez’s mind. It shocks her skin like a bolt of lightning.

“I told you to go back to camp! Leave before you get yourself killed!”

Shez whips her head around to the owner of the voice, the world twirling with the motion. Once the world stills, Hubert stands in all his dark magic glory with those dreadful shadows hugging his fingers. The frown on his face is a worthy opponent in fear to those consuming shadows.

“He’s right, you know! Get a move on and get out of here! I’d rather not have to save your life once again!” Arval adds.

Shez’s hands squeeze onto the handles of her swords until she can feel their shapes ingrain themselves into her skin.

Then she lets her grip loosen.

She sighs deeply, the dust of the battlefield following along. She would be a fool to continue this? She’s just a liability for as long as she stands here on the battlefield. Wasn’t she the one who warned Edelgard against doing the same thing just yesterday?

“Fine. Edelgard wouldn’t exactly be thrilled if some soldier got a lucky strike on me.”

Hubert’s expression and response are a hazy blur before he hurries off to face an oncoming soldier. Shez is half sure she spots relief on his face but the other half of her refuses to believe Hubert is capable of making an expression towards anyone other than Edelgard. It’s a hazy blur that mixes with the world as she stumbles off towards the Empire soldiers.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here,” Arval softly urges.

Shez groggily hums in response. Her blinks begin to turn into seconds-long intervals of closing her eyes. The sun beats against her skin, almost scorching her as she stumbles across the battlefield.

Until it doesn’t.

The air goes cold, the battle goes silent, and the world freezes when Shez opens her eyes.

A sword of steel blocks the sun as a Garreg Mach soldier holds the blade over Shez’s head.

“Shez!” Arval’s shout is piercing.

Shez’s gasp burns the inside of her throat.

The world tumbles.

The blade cuts through the air straight towards her head.

The world tilts, it falls, it turns…

then it stands upright.

All of the world’s power flows through Shez’s fingertips. It inflates her veins and clears her vision. The exhaustion that had once clouded her mind is ripped away by the electricity coursing through her.

She strikes down three opponents in one swing of her swords before the words can leave Arval’s mouth.

“One hundred and twenty-nine plus one failure now! You better not waste this power!”

Shez couldn’t waste this power if she tried to.

“I won’t!” She promises, her lips set in a frown and her eyes searching for a path to victory.

Her world turns into a bright blur just as it always does when she is granted with Arval’s power. She is both here and somewhere else. She is a war machine that can clear a normal army in moments, something that brings a nauseating pit even to her own stomach. It’s an advantage that should not be there, yet it still is.

Her body moves on instinct. She takes down groups of soldiers with one swing. She summons gusts of wind by simply slashing through the air. She brings wonder to both allies’ and enemies’ eyes alike as she travels through the battlefield. Their eyes are a rainbow of colors: Red, orange, yellow, green, blue… and then purple.

The wonder shines the brightest in Edelgard’s eyes.

“I see you have had no troubles in fighting against even the Archbishop’s armies. I was right to have no doubts in you,” Edelgard remarks while she dodges an enemy soldier’s strike.

Shez ducks under the soldier’s next swing of their sword. Edelgard pushes the soldier away before Shez can stand upright again.

“If only you knew,” Shez remarks as the soldier charges at them again. Edelgard swings her axe in a flash. “I see you aren’t having much trouble either. My point is definitely being proven that I would never want to be your opponent on the battlefield I see.”

Edelgard huffs. She almost floats against the battlefield as she positions herself back to back with Shez.

“If only you knew.”

The light in Edelgard’s eyes morphs into something much more determined as they clear their way through the army. As sweat builds up on edelgard’s forehead and Shez’s breaths grow heavier. As they cover each other’s weak spots and fight as almost one. As Edelgard’s ambitions come closer and closer to fruition.

As they move forward until they don’t.

The rhythm is brought to a full stop when Shez catches sight of a familiar face about to be struck down by a Garreg Mach soldier. It’s not the soldier’s fallen sword on the ground nor the Empire military uniform they wear that gives them away.

Rather it is the eyes filled with the sun’s light that strikes Shez’s memory to the same sun reflected in the soldier’s eyes the other day when that same exact Empire soldier handed Shez an arrangement of lavender flowers.

Shez’s breath is stolen from her lungs. The sword swinging down towards the soldier cuts right through that breath.

Her feet move on their own.

The world tilts as she rushes towards the scene.

Arval’s scream is lost behind the rushing in Shez’s ears.

Edelgard’s panicked expression is hidden behind the chaos.

The world falls.

Shez’s feel leave the ground. She tackles the Empire soldier out of the way.

The blade falls towards Shez. The breeze from the motion tickles Shez’s skin.

There is no more power Arval can conjure up to save Shez this time. It looks like they’ll have to add a second failure to the list.

The world crashes.

To Edelgard,

I’m at a loss on how to start this letter. I can’t say that I’ve written many love  letters like this before, especially to an emperor! So please excuse me if this letter is… I don’t know. I don’t know what made me think that receiving flowers that simply reminded me of your eyes should lead to giving you this letter. I don’t know what made me so brave yet such a coward at the same time to write this letter instead of telling you all of this to your face. I don’t know much. All I know is that you’re special, Edelgard. You’re special beyond simply being an emperor.

To be frank with you, I couldn’t care less that you’re the Aderstian Emperor. I had once told you that I don’t agree with this war, that I don’t believe in it. So many people will be hurt by your chase towards a dream that isn’t always clear. However, I believe in you. I believe that you are striving for what you believe is right.

When we march for Garreg Mach, I will be marching for your dream. I will be marching for you.

Over the time I have known you, you have been a constant in my life; A rock. There was a space that you fit into perfectly in my life that day we met those years ago, and it is a space that would never be the same without you in it. Even when we did not see each other for months at times after you became emperor, there were still traces of you in my life. From how I would wake up some days with my favorite breakfast delivered to my room by your orders or the days you would squeeze in a few moments for us to spar even if your day was already filled with other matters much more important than sparring with someone of my status compared to yours. Or especially those nights you would stop at my door just to tell me goodnight.

That’s how I knew that when you asked me to be a general in your army for this war, that I would follow you. Not because of some duty to the Empire, but because of what I see in you.

You’re extraordinary in ways that I cannot describe in words. You are stronger than any soldier on the battlefield, more intelligent than many of our tacticians, and you stand as tall as the world comes crashing down. I care about you, Edelgard. I care about the pet peeves you have, your hopes, your dreams, your nightmares, every single spec that makes up you. There’s not a single thing that I would want to miss. I care about every part of you and all that you entail, both the good and the bad.

I am sure I don’t need to say what my feelings are for you to already be able to put a name to them. And I’m sorry for only leaving you with a bouquet of flowers and a nameless letter. It would do no good for someone like me to have fallen for an emperor. It would be more of a surprise if you returned my feelings, which I do not expect from you. I expect just about nothing from this letter, especially returned feelings.

You have put all of your faith in me, and I will always return that faith no matter if it is as a friend or one day just as an ally… or on the off chance as something more. You will always be my greatest friend and I will forever be thankful to have known you.

From,

Your secret admirer

It’s the soft hum of a familiar song that breaks through the plane of silence. A floral scent is the second. The crinkle of paper is the third. The fourth is the slow open and close of Shez’s eyelids.

The static that graces her vision once her eyes open is merely the visual manifestation of the buzz crackling down her numb fingertips. She softly claws her hands against a set of sheets where she lies, letting the feeling return to them in pins and needles.

As she settles into existing, her chest and head erupt into a gnawing pain. It’s enough to get a pained groan from her. She squeezes her eyes shut. When she opens them, the static has cleared away and the familiar tune tugs at Shez’s hearing again. In its place sits a woman in a chair beside Shez, with lavender eyes staring off in the distance. A line of light shines through a crack of fabric behind the woman, lighting up the edges of her face. A few messy strands of white hair fall over her eyes.

Shez attempts to move her gaze but soon comes to a halt when the motion tugs at the backs of her eyes. Her line of sight now focuses on a small table at her side beyond the sheets and bed she lies upon. A bouquet of violet flowers reach up from an ornate vase and a folded piece of paper sits against it. Even while Shez’s head is screaming in pain, her expression scrunches up. There’s no way this can possibly be what Shez is thinking this is.

“El?” She mutters. It’s only when Edelgard’s humming comes to a stop that Shez realizes it was the same song that Shez has been humming as of lately that Edelgard was humming. Shez isn’t quite sure what the tumble her heart does next is trying to say.

Edelgard blinks back to reality. The crack of light behind her morphs into an illuminated line surrounding her as she shifts her head. With the lack of light, shadows of the area reveal numerous empty beds and medical supplies placed around.

Ah, Shez must be in the infirmary tent right now. She can only imagine what Arval will exclaim at her once Edelgard leaves.

“You’re awake,” Edelgard mutters. Her eyes shine with concern brighter than the daylight shining into the tent ever could be.

“I am.” Shez nods her head which is definitely a bad idea when the pain in her head grows by a multitude.

“Ouch,” she adds with a grimace. Shez is the one laying injured in the infirmary tent, yet she’s pretty sure that Edelgard is the one who grimaces harder.

Edelgard leanes forward, a palm raised out like she’s about to comfort Shez, but the motion falls short. Shez’s skin suddenly feels much colder.

“You should try not to move too much. You’ll aggravate your wounds,” Edelgard attempts to say in her usual neutral tone. The slight waver in her tone gives her away.

Shez lets out a huff.

“I think it’s a bit too late for that. I took a sword to the head? Or was it the chest? Both feel pretty achy right now. It feels more like a demonic beast ran me over,” Shez attempts to quip. Edelgard doesn’t even crack a smile.

“What is the last thing you remember?” Edelgard asks.

Shez thinks back to her world before it went dark. Flashes of falling and a sword swinging her way become clearer.

“It was the battle at Garreg Mach. I jumped in the way of a soldier's attack, then it all went dark.”

Edelgard hums.

“That’s right around when you… lost consciousness,” Edelgard’s pause hands heavy in the air. She looks off into the distance like it is a nightmare. “Your head most likely hurts because it hit the ground when you fell. As for your chest, the soldier struck you there with their sword.”

Edelgard’s eerily neutral tone and far off look pierce Shez’s heart. What has Edelgard so stricken? Shez is still here perfectly alive.

Shez pushes herself up so she’s sitting in the bed.

“Ah, that explains why I feel like absolute shit,” Shez deadpans blankly. The delivery is enough to make Edelgard do a double take at those words. The best part of all, that sorrowful look in Edelgard’s eyes is sucked away.

There wasn’t much humor behind Shez’s words, really. Yet despite it all, she feels her lips tremble just as much as she sees Edelgard’s lips tremble. One moment, Edelgard is looking at Shez like she just saw a ghost. The next, a laugh escapes her lips. Like a flood, a stream of laughter follows the first laugh. It’s a contagious laugh that sends Shez curling into a ball with her own laughter.

Edelgard shakes her head while she attempts to say something, but it only comes out as more laughter. It takes moments filled with sore laughter before Edelgard can get those words out.

“I should not be laughing at this. One of our most esteemed generals almost fell in combat today,” she finally gets out.

Shez sends her a toothy smile once the laughter has died down.

“I’m still here though, am I not? There’s no need to worry anymore. I was hardly in any danger.” Shez takes a look around the empty room. “Besides, there’s literally no one else in here… which is pretty odd when I say it out loud. Did we surrender or something?”

Edelgard proudly smiles.

“Quite the opposite. With that mysterious power of yours, you carved out a path to victory for us. The enemy army retreated and we captured Garreg Mach with great thanks to you. I believe it’s that same power that saved your life from that sword strike today.” Edelgard pauses, the smile falling. Her eyes light up until the light is just a reflection from the slight shine of water building up in Edelgard’s eyes. But just as fast as it appeared, Edelgard blinks it away.

“I don’t think you understand how close to losing your life you truly were. If you were a normal soldier, you would’ve died right there on the battlefield,” Edelgard continues. “What was the Empire supposed to do- What was I supposed to do if I lost you today?”

The sight shakes Shez’s breath. To see the mighty Edelgard look at Shez so fearfully, it’s certainly a sight that Shez does not want to stamp to her memory.

“El, I… I didn’t mean to frighten you like that. My body had just moved on its own. One second I was fighting, the next I had jumped in front of that soldier. I didn’t stop to think about the safety of my own life and I’m sorry for that.”

Edelgard shakes her head.

“There is no need for you to apologize. We are in a war and I am worrying about the life of a soldier. Even if they are a general, every person risks their life by stepping onto a battlefield. I had simply let my emotions get in the way when I saw that your life too could be at risk.” Edelgard pauses. “Even so, I do not know what I would do if I lost you. I have lost almost everyone else. You are not someone I want to lose also.”

Edelgard curls into herself, her head hanging above her knees as she hides her face in her arms.

“Please don’t let me lose you also,” she whispers.

Shez tentatively reaches a hand out towards Edelgard’s shoulder. Her fingers softly press against the surface.

“You won’t lose me,” Shez whispers back.

Edelgard relaxes under Shez’s hand. Her eyes peek out from her arms up at Shez.

“Promise?” The whisper wavers in a way that sounds like it is from an entirely different person than the Edelgard Shez has grown to know for the last two years. Yet it is Edelgard all the same.

Shez nods.

“I promise.”

Edelgard nods, slowly pushing the fear away from her face. By the time she sits back up, Shez’s hand falling away from her shoulder, she is back to her usual calm demeanor, her lips pushed into an inquisitive frown.

“I am curious about one thing. Why did you jump in front of that soldier? Surely you know that your death would hurt our army much more greatly than a regular soldier’s death.”

Shez shrugs.

“It was the right thing to do in my head. Like I said, my body just moved on its own. I was someone who had helped me once in need and wanted to return the favor. After all, she was the one who-”

Shez’s mouth clamps shut. Phew, that was a close one! She almost ran her mouth an revealed that-

“She was the one who gave you those flowers,” Edelgard finishes. “The ones you gave to me the other night with that letter.”

Shez doesn’t even have the energy in her to be surprised. Not after the twist and turns that have made up the last two days. All she can do is dig her face into her palm and laugh in between a sigh. Laugh. Edelgard has long figured Shez out and all Shez can do is laugh at it all. So much for panicking over the emperor figuring out that her mercenary general left an anonymous love letter at her door. The reality of the situation has been reduced to Edelgard talking like it was never meant to be a secret and Shez laughing like all of her feelings were not spilled out to Adrestia’s emperor.

“Was I really that obvious?” Shez groans.

Edelgard holds back her smile.

“Perhaps. The humming gave you away initially. You hummed the same song outside of my tent when you dropped off your letter that you shared with me last night. I had a faint assumption that it was your voice when I first heard you but knew for sure when I heard you humming at breakfast the next day.”

Shez groans louder into her hands.

“You knew the entire time. Here I was worried about accidentally giving myself away as the person who wrote the letter when you already knew.” A flash of last night appears in Shez’s mind. “That conversation last night! When you asked if it was you who I was falling for, you already knew! How could I be so stupid?”

Edelgard chuckles softly.

“It was less obvious than I was letting on. Besides your humming and a few specific sentences that seemed to pertain to you, there was nothing else that gave you away. With a slightly different set of circumstances, it is very possible I would've never figured out it was you.”

Shez peeks out from their hands at Edelgard smiling warmly.

“You’re acting pretty calm for being confessed to at the moment. This is the nicest rejection I think I’ve seen.”

Edelgard tilts her head.

“When did I say I was rejecting you?”

“What?”

Shez pauses for a moment, the memory of last night still reeling through her mind. It reels through their conversation about the love letter and how Edelgard had said the sender of the letter didn’t know if Edelgard felt the same or not. It reels through how Edelgard said she was falling for someone here. It reels until it hits Shez square in the face.

“Oh,” Shez lets out. Her stomach has begun to spin in a million circles and her heart is becoming the sun.

Edelgard swallows and nods.

“Oh, indeed.”

The dusting of red on Edelgard’s face brightens in the light as she reaches over to grab the folded piece of paper sitting next to the flowers neither of them has mentioned and hands it to Shez.

“This would do much better to explain than what I can possibly think of to say at the moment,” Edelgard explains.

Shez’s heart tumbles while she unfolds the paper. She has not seen a glance of what is on this piece of paper yet her mind suggests countless ideas. There is one idea that burns brighter than the rest and for once, it doesn’t feel so unbelievable.

Shez unfolds the paper.

Dear Shez,

I must first thank you for the flowers. They truly are delightful. I can only hope I was able to return the favor with these flowers I have gifted to you. I attempted to follow your theme of gathering flowers that match with the recipient’s eye color. I must admit though, I feel as if these flowers dull in comparison to your eyes. Nevertheless, they were the best I could find and still enjoyed putting together this arrangement during the early part of last night. I will say, it filled me with a sort of adrenaline to arrange these flowers as you sat right outside of my tent. I wonder if it was the same feeling you felt when you gave me my flowers the night before. I suppose I will have to discuss it with you when you wake up.

As for the next thing I must thank you for, it is the letter you provided with the flowers. I had never known you felt so strongly towards me. I knew you thought of me as a close friend but I had never thought you felt like this. I was left in awe when I read your words. I- Well, I should stay on topic first in this letter.

I must lastly thank you for your contribution in today’s battle earlier. I am not quite sure if we would have won without you. Though please strive to avoid telling anyone else outside of the generals such a thing. As I write this, you are lying in the medical tent while Monica and Hubert are currently leading a group of our forces to clear out the monastery while the rest of us wait at the base camp.

To be perfectly honest, I worry for your health. No matter the power you possessed, you were cut down by a sword. It is a sight that I doubt will ever truly leave my memory. To see someone so powerful like you fallen on the ground at the edge of life, it is not a sight I ever want to witness again. To feel so powerless to help someone I care so deeply about, to be frozen in place, to carry such a still version of yourself off of the battlefield, it was all difficult to endure.

But, it is you, I have to remain optimistic and believe you will make it out on the other side just fine. You are much stronger than what has wounded you.

I have to wonder, though, why you risked your life for that soldier. Don’t you see how important your life is? Don’t you see how important you are to me? If I lost you today I don’t know what I would do. The empire needs you. But to be perfectly honest with you, Shez, I need you, too.

You mentioned that I was not open enough with the reason for this war. I see the truth in those words. I am far from honest enough in most matters. So that is why I vow to be fully honest in this letter, no matter the length it may grow to.

I have mentioned before that I believe it was fated that we were to meet and I still believe that now. The Goddess has only given me grief my entire life, but perhaps you are the one miracle she has granted me. Perhaps it is fate that you are the person by my side who can throw their life away for one soldier in a war they do not agree with while I sacrifice lives in an attempt to save many more. Perhaps, you were meant to show me compassion that day I met you and beyond during our short time at Garreg Mach so I could see how to be a benevolent leader now.

I agree with you. With you, I am not an emperor. With you, I am just El. I am the woman who can sit outside in her pajamas and talk nonsense with you in the middle of the night. I am the woman who can decipher who the sender of the love letter sent to me by the sound of someone’s humming in hopes that it was you who had confessed to me in that letter. I am the woman who is sitting by your side desperately wishing for you to open your eyes and show me that everything is alright.

Do not say you are not deserving of my love. You are far past deserving of it. It is you who is the extraordinary one, Shez.

There is no one like you now, before, and there will never be another like you in the future. Thank you for allowing me to meet you. I will be forever thankful for the day you pulled from the darkness of my past into the light of a new day.

Forever grateful,

El

Shez’s fingers tremble against the letter. They threaten to drop it, but Shez refuses to let it fall. She won’t dare let any of Edelgard’s heartfelt words touch the ground.

“El, I… I don’t know what to say.”

Edelgard softly smiles.

“I don’t quite know what to say either.”

Shez lightly laughs.

“So I have turned the great Edelgard speechless. Should I rub it in the other’s faces that I have achieved the impossible?”

“If you wish to do so. I have no issues about expressing just how spectacular you are to the others.”

Shez’s chest has erupted into a lovely warmth. The darkness of the tent has exploded into light. Yet even so, a part of her still aches with doubt.

“Are you sure about this? No matter our feelings, I’m just a merc. I have nothing to offer beyond myself. I’m sure there’s a number of nobles who won’t take kindly to such a relationship between a mercenary and an emperor.”

Edelgard softly chuckles and grabs one of Shez’s hands. It sends electricity up her skin.

“I am already charging down a path for a day where one’s status at birth will no longer determine their future. Not allowing marriage to be determined by status either is on that road. We both know how we feel, that is all that matters.”

Edelgard gently raises Shez’s hand up to her lips. It’s there that Edelgard softly presses her lips against the skin of Shez’s hand for a quick kiss.

“If only you could see just how amazing you really are,” Edelgard mutters once she pulls away from shez’s hand.

Shez can only blink at Edelgard in return. Her hand tingles where Edelgard kissed it and her stomach is currently twirling around.

“All I had to do was pass out and now the emperor is treating me like a queen,” Shez quietly remarks.

“Well you are to be royalty in the future if we continue down this path, so I would not say your statement is far off.”

And Shez is left gaping again.

“What has gotten into you today? When have you been so bold?”

Edelgard shrugs with a smile.

“I must’ve learned it from you.”

Shez rolls her eyes.

“Or course you did.”

Shez meets Edelgard’s gaze as the conversation comes to a pause. A second passes as a moment. The silence lasts for a few blinks, yet it passes by like an eternity.

It’s Edelgard who talks first.

“Would it be presumptuous to ask if I may direct the next kiss to your lips?”

Shez lets out a breathy laugh.

“What a proper way to ask if you can kiss me. But no, it’s not presumptuous at all. I’d be happy if you’d do so actually.”

Edelgard brings a hand up to Shez’s cheek and leans forward.

“That’s a good thing to know,” she whispers before Shez leans forward to close the gap.

It’s when their lips connect that the idea of fate enters Shez’s mind. It’s when they part that Shez decides that yes, she and Edelgard were fated to meet. They were fated to live in this moment with warm hearts.

“If only you could see yourself how I see you, El. You would see just how amazing you really are,” Shez whispers.

And that Shez was fated to say that and much more in the future. That she is fated for a future with Edelgard.

And it is not far into the future at all when Shez asks. It is only moments later when they have fallen into a silence.

For once, it is Shez who breaks the silence.

“If you’re comfortable with it, tell me about your past. I want to know all of what has made you into who you are. I want to know what made you look at the sky so solemnly last night,” Shez mutters.

Edelgard sucks in a breath.

“It’s not a happy story.”

“But it’s your story.”

Edelgard takes a moment before she leans back away from Shez and nods.

“If you tell me your past in return.”

Shez sheepishly smiles.

“I told you before that it’s not very interesting.”

Edelgard sends her a look.

“But it’s your story.”

And well, perhaps there’s some merit to Edelgard’s words. If someone like her can be so curious about someone like Shez’s past, maybe there is something to listen and wonder about.

The sun is shining bright when the pair decides to share their pasts with each other.

While they do so, an arrangement of flowers for a mercenary sits on the table beside them.