Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Hey, everyone, Bearsnecessity here back with more stories from Yiiky D's. I fucking hate my job, but you whiny bitches keep asking for more content. fine.

Windway87 was an asshole and got my old account banned for "targeted harassment" and "racism" and "being a danger to myself and others", so this is a burner. Which sucks. I hate ONISM's UI so goddamn much sometimes, and Michael won't let me get my account back because he's an honest businessman, whatever the hell that means. I tell him he has a job at fucking YkDonald's, he can't be acting so tough, but whatever.

Yeah, so this is chapter 2 and chapter 1 is gone because my login was sentenced to elevator hell and this website is the antichrist. ANYWAY:

I'll start this weeks rant thread by complaining about my manager because I'm a teenager with a job and it's what we do. Unkrich, her name is. We all just call her Unkbitch behind her back. Michael says she knows about it, but he thinks she knows about everything. I think she's too far up her own afro to notice any of what we do or any of the work we put in. It's a damn shame. She keeps getting called over by bitchy customers and she looks at them like a dumbass until they leave. Our yelp reviews are FUCKED, man, our customer service rating's tanked and it's all HER FAULT. She never replaces anyof our equipment, either. The other day Michael almost deep fried his camera because Unkbitch couldn't bother to fix the fucking hinges on the fryer and he had to do it himself. Why he didn't just take the camera OFF is anyone's guess. I probably shouldn't talk too much shit on Michael, though, cause he moderates here and also he's batshit insane. @VERAformer I love ya buddy but if I have to hear about the black cubes of saturn's influence on the 1988 elections one more fucking time I'm dunking my head in the oil vat and I am not fucking coming out.

The only other person behind the counter is Vella, and she's fine. If you asked me to describe her personality I couldn't. Headphones in 24/7, and unlike Unkbitch they're actually playing something. Always her own music, too, she's a rapper or something. Never listened to music much myself. Never cool. If I'm online it should be for something fucking interesting, not another SNESMAN99 jrpg soundtrack post, and yes this is a callout, I fucking hate you. Vella's got another job down in Frankton, which is a hell of a schlep, I don't know why the fuck she does it. She's also just weird. Not Michael weird, where she's been on the internet too long, she acts like she's been on the planet for five minutes. Great story about that, actually, she broke down crying one morning right at opening shift because she got a call from her grandma. I guess that's normal? I wouldn't know, all mine are dead. CRAZY THING IS THO, HERS ARE TOO. She kept saying dumb shit about record players and apocalypses and wouldn't make the damn onion rings. At least Michael gets his work done.

Oh and the customers jesus CHRIST the customers. This one asshole, THIS ONE ASSHOLE, comes in every day and orders a vegan YkChicken. A VEGAN. CHICKEN. FUCKING. SANDWICH. And every day we tell him we can't make that and every day he gets mad and orders a happy meal. He's 26, Michael asked one day. And EVERY DAY we gotta clean up his nasty table after he goes because he's too on his high horse to do it himself. I think he's got problems, for real. Maybe supernatural?

Only time that asshole was ever useful was this one time we got robbed. You'd think I'd lead with that, right? Nah, cause nothing happened. It was just weird, really weird. These two people came in, and I was all fucked in the head thinking they were dudes I knew from when I was a kid, right? Not at all. Greasiest motherfucker I've ever seen comes in waving a toy gun ranting some shit about a baby. Had some coked up girl with him, I didn't look at her. Double Burger King crowns aren't exactly a fashion sense, and I was working. Vella, though, fucker was going wild. She started screaming back at them about how she'd "run far enough" and "my grandmother cast you down" and shit. I figured it was a LARP thing, like Michael's done sometimes, but he was too busy taking pictures like a madman. Well, asshole was in eating dinner at 4 pm like he's 90 years old, and started freaking out. I mean more than Vella kind of freaking out. Hands on the head, screaming, all that shit over a toy gun. Must be from one of the rich parts of the state, Wind Town's full of people like them. But anyway, yeah, he was going freakazoid, Vella was playing dungeons and dragons, I'm just fuckin standing there like an idiot with a spatula.

DUDE STARTED SHOOTING THE SPATULA! I'm not joking either he was like aiming for it with all these weird rubber bullets, yelling about how I was some dnd shit. "Golden One" came up a lot. I figured he was making some rude comment about my mother like @VERRAformer you dick, but he just kept going. I had to go out from behind the counter, and then the vegan chicken asshole started clapping his hands like a baby and saying we were "just like chrono trigger!" because oh heavens four people standing next to each other. I hit him with the spatula and it was the best day of my life.

Toy gun greaseball and crack crown lady hightailed it pretty fast after that. Nothing more really went down. I'm just pissed my MANAGER didn't help with a ROBBERY. If she's on ONISM I want her ass banned.

@Windway87 you're still a shitter and I still hate you. I'll post again when I have something better. THERE ARE NO REPLIES TO THIS POST.

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Hey again, dickheads, it's Bearsnecessity here with more fun wacky stories that totally don't make me want to k1ll myself. @VERRAformer I fucking censored it this time, you ass. Anyway I have some actual supernatural shit from my job this time, which is awesome, but it sucks, because I got fired. But I'll get to that, I guess.

Yeah so let's set the scene. I'm working register, Michael's in the back doing french fries and shit, the Unkbitch is listening to the ginger asshole go on about how his nuggies aren't salty enough for mommy's special little boy. We hadn't had anything fucky since the greaselord broke in, which was great, so I was doing alright. Yknow, music going in the headphones, waiting for a customer, whatever. Normal Ykdonald's shit. Then Unkbitch's brother comes in. I guess I gotta have a different nickname for him, since he has the same last name as her, which is a pain in the ass. Idk if he has an ONISM account, but I hope he doesn't. I hate all of you. Let's call him Claudio, cause that's his name, and I can't be bothered to write a bunch of pseudonyms up in case one of you basement dwellers snaps and decides to go bust some heads. Anyway, Claudio comes up to me, starts talking about some weeaboo trash. Hate him for it, really do. I know most of you looooooove your little animus, but I'm a normal person. I have a job. Had a job. Whatever. Unlike you guys, I have friends, kinda. So shut up about fictional women! For fuck's sake! Elevator Girl isn't gonna bang you, dudes, I hate to say it. Anyway. Claudio's rambling on about weeb shit, when he asks me if anyone weird's come into the shop lately. I tell him about greaselord and crack momma, and he gets SCARED. Like, shaking in his japanese boots kind of scared. I'm freakin out now, cause he's freakin out, and Vella comes in for her shift. She starts freakin out! It was freakout city behind the fucking register, all while the ginger asshole is still ranting about his honey mussy. I don't know about you guys, but I hate that kind of entitled shit.

So whatever, Claudio's getting all shaky about these useless robbers. Says they roughed him up at his job, wants to track em down. I'm like fine, whatever, give him the deets of what they did, and bro gets serious. Puts on that max set kind of face, like bottom of a squat after an hour kind of stress. He asks me if they said anything cryptic, and I tell him about the golden one shit they were saying, and he falls over. Like, actually falls over. I turn around to ask Vella what's up, and she throws up. So I'm standing in the middle of a pile of puke over some dude's body, and that's exactly when my manager decides to do her job. I didn't get fired for making a dude pass out on the floor, I got fired for not cleaning up Vella's puke fast enough. I fucking hated this job anyway.

Supernatural shit kicked in after that. It was weird. Real weird. You know how that chick got posted here a while back with the mind powers?

Yeah, that's Vella.

I didn't realize it until she started doing all this weird shit, but she got all triangley. I'm talkin full glowing eyes type magic bullshit, the works. She didn't turn into a cat, fuck you whoever said that, but something started glowing in front of me. She said something about purging souls, and at this point I'm the one about to pass out. Vella Wilde, her name is. If any of you know what she's doing, tell me. Might be some hyper wave fast light kind of stuff. I don't know about all the science that gets posted to this hellpit. Shit started GLOWING that SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN. I repeat, strange lights, strange sounds, glowing eyes. The works. Weirdest shit was, I was HAPPY while she was doing it. I felt all relaxed while these glowy triangles were passing through me and erasing a light behind me. It was the damnedest thing. She finished and started yelling at me, which felt less nice. What is she, my mom? Fuck her, man. Don't actually. You guys never get any action anyway.

So yeah, I'm fired, and I got zapped by some kind of magical hypno wave to purge a soul from behind the counter of Ykdonald's after a guy fainted when I told him about a robbery. Just your average day. If you guys want I can keep coming in as a "customer" to get more info, Michael should let me. Just lmk. I'd send a pic of what happened, but I didn't take any. Cry about it. That's about it, I think. THERE ARE NO REPLIES TO THIS POST.

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IMPORTANT POST

HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCKING SHIT okay ok so i know like i've been talking about just working down at the store and everything but HOLY SHIT

Okay, let me explain, I guess. It's actually supernatural shit this time, guys. For real. For really real. I'm being haunted. I mentioned how I got fired from Ykdonald's last week, right? I told you guys about that? Well GUESS WHAT, the place is haunted, and SO AM I. Again, this is not a joke. I think whatever magic bullshittery Vella cast on me had some real negative energy, because I've been hearing stuff from Michael. He's probably posting about it here too. I wouldn't know, I have this place filtered to Elevator Girl and only Elevator Girl. Sorry, Mike.

So, yeah, place is haunted. How do we know? Aside from Vella melting down every day, the place has been crawling with weird entity things. Vella's been really freaking out about them. I'd feel bad if it wasn't ALL HER FAULT. (She somehow hasn't gotten fired yet.) Also, no customers. None. Except one, the ginger asshole. But he's weird, too. He looks younger. Like, way younger, a little kid. I don't even know where to start with how he keeps showing up, but, you'll all kick my ass if I don't try, so. Basically the bastard appears with the robbers who fucked with us that one time. Except they aren't the same either. They ditched the mafia fits, for one thing. Now greaselord's got a nasty ass t shirt to match, and his crackwhore looks like if my mother went through a meat grinder and put a flannel on afterwards. They come in every day, sometimes multiple times a day, but they never act like they remember the other times. It's messed up, man. They always start freaking out when they see me, so I've been trying to hide behind the counter. Michael lets me, even though I don't work there anymore.

Every time the "robbers" show up, they ask for the same thing. Greaselord leans over the counter, real skeevy, like the type of guy who'd say he fucks your mom on the internet. He talks with this weird soft voice, like he's about to burst out laughing, and he says "hand over the golden one, fuckboy." He always says fuckboy. I don't know why he says that. And if he sees me, which I pray to dead god he doesn't, he screams and it sounds like a billion people. Vella faints when it happens. The only thing I've ever gotten her to say about it is some bullshit about robots and souls. Michael thinks she's a lizard person, which I tell him is kind of racist, but I don't think that's ever stopped him before. Also, ginger scumbag kid version psycho thing is always there with greaselord. He just laughs. Laughs and laughs and laughs. It's fucked up. Also, he's got this weird fixation with Vella. It's icky. He keeps trying to talk to her, but he can't speak, only laugh. It's like the kid's brain shut down. Too many attempts at a vegan YkChicken breaks a guy, I guess.

That isn't the only haunting going on, though. I think Vella accidentally brought my sister back from the dead.

She's waiting for me in the kitchen. Michael won't let me go in there anymore. He says it's dangerous, that whatever's back there fries his film. Vella says if I look at her, I'll go crazy. That it won't be worth it. But that's why I'm still hiding out in there. None of the other weird shit bothers me, but I HAVE to see her again. If there's even a chance she's back there waiting for me I have to take it. I have to see her. All I get are glimpses.

You guys used to tell me she disappeared cause of supernatural shit. It was really heartening to hear when I thought she was just some worthless missing kid like you'd see on the news. I'm hoping you have some advice. If you're gonna come on this post and tell me to kill myself again, I'll get Michael to ban you. I need advice. I need to see my sister. THERE ARE NO REPLIES TO THIS POST.