Work Text:
If anyone asked, Beelzebub was the token straight in the family.
He’d giggle and sigh dramatically. “Belphegor took all the gay genes, he left nothing for me.”
That would be it and everyone would move on.
To Beelzebub, it only felt a little bit like being left out. His brothers never made him feel bad for his sexuality, even if they poked fun at it from time to time. Beelzebub couldn't quite understand why he was so bothered by it all, but there wasn’t much he could do about it.
If he felt like talking about romance, Mammon and Asmodeus were always there to commentate on his latest attraction. Belphegor would cheer him on while Satan evaluated the girl far too brutally. (out of love, of course. Satan had impossibly high standards for anyone who would be close to his brothers.)
Lucifer, stilted and awkward regardless of gender, would nod and wish him luck in any romantic endeavors. Then promptly walk into a wall while trying to hurry away.
So bursting into Mammon’s room on the first day of June wasn’t too much of a surprise.
“Mammon, I need help.” Beelzebub said urgently.
The elder demon was sitting on the floor in front of his coffee table, laptop before him.
“Beel? Are you alright?”
“No, not really,” he admittedly quickly. “Or, maybe? I don’t know.”
Mammon gestured for Beelzebub to join him, sitting down on his couch. Beelzebub took the spot beside his brother, burying his head into his hands as he did.
“So, tell yer big brother what’s wrong! The Great Mammon is here ta listen!”
“I think I have a crush on someone.”
“Okay?” Mammon nodded, “What’s wrong with that?”
Beelzebub felt his eye twitch. While he usually appreciated Mammon’s natural nonchalance, it tugged at his already frayed nerves.
“It’s a guy!”
“Ooooh,” Mammon hummed in understanding. “Is he hot?”
“So hot,” Beelzebub sighed, he had always been able to appreciate attractiveness regardless of gender, but this was different. “Way way too pretty than anyone has the right to be.”
“And ya started freakin’ out ‘cause ya thought you were straight?”
“...yeah,” Beelzebub said after a moment.
Damnit. Beelzebub deflated, flopping back against the couch. He threw an arm over his head and covered his eyes. “I don’t even know if it’s a crush or just me naturally liking him as a person.”
“Does that matter?” Mammon asked without a word of judgment. As if Beelzebub hadn’t just admitted to liking a gender he had never been interested in before.
“I’m straight,” which meant he liked girls, not boys, and only girls. “I’m straight.”
“Beel,” Mammon said, dragging his attention up to look at his brother. In return, Beelzebub received a playful smile from Mammon. “Just tell me ‘bout him.”
“He’s a new player for our Fangol team,” Beelzebub explained. “We had our first practice a few days ago for the summer break and he was just really cool. His name’s Semoto and we’ve hung out a few times since then.”
If he was being honest, there probably wasn’t anything special about Semoto. He was good at Fangol, had a great sense of humor, didn’t seem to mind how quiet Beelzebub was nor seemed to be hanging around him for status or power and—
Beelzebub blinked. Oh, he had no chance of escaping this, huh?
“Seems like a fun guy,” Mammon’s voice called his attention again. Now, what’s the problem with likin’ him?”
“Because,” Beelzebub started despite not really having an answer. Because what? Because he was the only person in this house to still identify as straight? Because the one thing he knew for certain was changing and that was terrifying? Because it felt weird and different to suddenly like someone of the same gender?
Because he couldn’t tell if this was real or just copying his brothers. Because he didn’t know if this was love or like or just plain friendship. Because he was—
“I’m straight,” he said in the end. “Aren’t I?”
“We both know ya don’t have a problem with people bein’ gay,” Mammon snorted. “What’s the problem if ya like a guy yerself?”
“Mammon!” Beelzebub all but snapped. He wanted help, not ridicule. “I’m being serious. I don’t know what to do, so I came to you. Maybe that was a mistake.”
Instantly, he regretted his anger.
When a hand neared his face, Beelzebub flinched back.
“I ain’t mad, sunshine,” Mammon murmured softly, letting his hand hover.
“I’m sorry for snapping,” Beelzebub mumbled in return, leaning forward to meet Mammon's hand.
“Nah, ya had a reason,” Mammon said. “Look, I know it’s weird fer ya ta start likin’ someone ya didn't expect ta. But what’s botherin’ ya so badly about it?”
He frowned. There weren’t words to explain it, at least none of the words he knew of could work. It all just ended in the same thought, over and over.
“I’m straight,” Beelzebub said. “And… now I’m not. I don’t… know how to react to that. I’ve always been confident in that. Until now.”
Mammon hummed in return, keeping his gaze firmly on Beelzebub. “It’s hard, ain’t it?” He finally said.
“What?”
“Figurin’ yerself out ain’t always easy. ‘Specially with how many ways ya can label yerself. Hell, labels make it a whole lot harder.” Mammon’s nose crinkled as a frown flickered on his face. “There are so many damn terms ta keep track of, but all that matters is what ya want ta think about.”
That’s the issue, isn’t it? Beyond the general panic that came whenever he found himself falling for another person.
“I don’t know what I want,” Beelzebub admitted. “I’ve just always been the straight one in the family, so it kind of…” Don't say it. Don’t admit to something so silly. It makes no sense anyways. Beelzebub took a deep breath. “I think it scares me?”
He did it. That was easier than anticipated. Still awful though.
Mammon’s unfaltering gaze, quiet and warm, made it worth it.
“It’s okay, ya know?” Mammon moved to ruffle Beelzebub’s hair. “Ya don’t have ta be the same person you were yesterday. If ya came ta me tomorrow morning and say ‘nevermind, i don’t like guys!’, nothing would be wrong with that.”
“But, but, what if I’m not gay or bi? What if he’s the only guy I ever end up liking?”
At that, Mammon shrugged. “That’s up ta ya, unfortunately. If ya feel like calling yerself bi is right, then do it. If ya wanna still say you’re straight, then that’s okay too. There’s also a whole lot more, but that’s Levi’s speciality, not mine.” He winked with a playful smile. “Point is, sunshine, ya don’t have ta stick to the box you’re in right now. You can try out new things and explore who ya are.” He paused, “Though, be respectful and open with any partners ya have.”
Beelzebub couldn’t help but snort. He wasn’t sure what he was even feeling for one guy, let alone anyone else.
“Thanks, Mammon,” he said. “I got stuck in my head and I wasn't sure what to do.”
“Of course!” Mammon nodded. “I’m yer big bro! It’s kinda my job ta pull yer head out of yer ass.”
Beelzebub rolled his eyes, pulling away from the greed demon with another laugh.
“I should leave you to,” he glanced at the laptop, “whatever it was you’re doing.”
“Budgeting.” Mammon pouted.
“Ooh, super lame,” Beelzebub commiserated. “I’m going to find Belphie. He always gets so annoyed if I don’t tell him about my crushes.”
Mammon waved him off, “Shoo, begone you fledging bisexual wreck!”
He was laughing as he left the room, suddenly feeling far lighter than when he walked in. “I haven't figured that out yet!”
Beelzebub was about to close the door when Mammon shouted again.
“Beel! If ya plan on havin’ sex, mak—”
Beelzebub clapped his hands over his ears, “I’m not listening!” He shouted. “Lalalalalalala!”
A faint clatter indicated that Mammon was stumbling to his feet.
“Safe sex is important!”
He hurried down the hallway and far away from where Mammon could try and give him the sex talk again. Sure, he was getting comfortable with the idea of liking a man, but the burning red in his cheeks definitely meant third base was off-limits for now.
For now, Beelzebub paused. It wasn’t as difficult as he’d thought it would be, to think of what dating a man, Semoto, would be like.
For now. He repeated to himself, because he had all the time in the world to figure it out.