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People.
People everywhere.
People with their own little lives and problems and goals and families. Seven billion people in the world and I’m walking alone down aisle eight deciding if I should start my monthly bagel obsession and be constipated for the next three days... I bet his pantry is stocked with bagels.
He didn't have those weird bagel phases like I do, he didn't like bagels but he would buy them for me. Such an insignificant small detail but it made me feel special. But I wasn’t. I wasn’t special because if I had meant something to him I wouldn’t be in fucking aisle eight picking out bagels by myself.
Who needs a best friend anyway.
I don’t need anybody to blow up my phone (I bet he got annoyed when I would do it to his), I dont need to rely on him to brighten up my day and make me feel heard (he doesn’t care about me).
I roll my eyes and pick up the pack of cinnamon raisin bagels, fuck it, I’ve been craving sweets lately, my diet can wait. I walk towards the other side of the grocery store trying to look for the cream cheese. Why does Walmart always have to move all their products around? It makes me spend more time than needed looking for what I need.
I finally see the dairy aisle, but I also see him.
Him and his stupid long hair and stupid beautiful green eyes that are looking at his actual best friend. I kept telling myself I didn't care that he stopped texting me, that he stopped reaching out to me, that he ghosted me. I kept telling myself that my world does not revolve around him, and that I dont need him. He is the one that needs ME, he will miss me, and he will come to regret the fact that he threw me away like a piece of chewed up gum that has lost all it's flavor.
But seeing him talk to Mikasa, looking happy and unburdened, hurt. It hurt a lot. Knowing that he wasn’t missing me, that kicking me out of his life after being best friends for more than a decade was as easy as burning a bagel. I didn't even do anything wrong. I never said anything that upset him, at least I don't think I did.
So why? Why dont you want me by your side anymore eren? Am I not cool enough for you anymore? Are my glasses and hair too geeky? Should I cut it? I'll ditch the glasses, I'll get contacts I promise... No, fuck you. Fuck you and fuck us. Fuck our happy memories full of adventures and discoveries and some of the best times of our lives. Fuck our late night conversations of road trips and seeing the ocean. Of pulling all nighters to help you with your chemistry homework.
Fuck this and fuck you.
Mikasa will be enough for you, right? Seems like she is as you giggle with her while picking out a gallon of whole milk. I start tearing up so I say fuck the cream cheese too and start to walk away, and thats when he sees me.
“Armin? Uh, hey.”
He gives a nervous chuckle and rubs his neck while looking away. Oh, so you can see me? You didn’t somehow convince yourself that I'm some sort of ghost or imaginary friend, and that you are going crazy so thats why you stopped contacting me? Nice. That’s good to know. I was real to you after all, I've always been.
I give him a small fake smile as a single tear falls, I tried holding it back but I failed.
“Make sure to throw away the bagels that are left in your pantry soon, they’ll get moldy.”
I walk away without looking back.