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“You turned him into the thing that killed his mother! The thing that he has been raised to hate and trained to kill!”
Thing.
Hate.
Kill.
Juliette had been burnt, kicked, punched, slapped, even staked. She had never known pain like this. The very first stake Cal had driven through her heart had a kind of numbness to it. She felt it pierce her skin, felt it skewering her flesh and tearing her body. She had cried out, from the shock of it more than anything else. It hadn’t actually hurt her, for it was nothing more than a wooden stake. Well-crafted and solid, of course, but wood cannot kill a Legacy.
This pain, that now ripped its way through her body and the soul so many claimed she didn’t have, this was the worst feeling she had ever experienced. She knew she had done wrong, that Theo’s predicament was entirely her fault. The guilt of turning him was still fresh, the consequences of her actions weighing heavily in her bones, dragging her down into an endless, black void. She had been prepared for Cal’s anger. She had been prepared for her disbelief, her sadness and she had been prepared to hold Cal tight, promising to make it right, soothing her with kisses and gentle caresses. What Juliette had not been prepared for, what she was never going to be prepared for was Cal’s disgust. Fear. Hatred. The way her face had twisted in anguish at her brother’s pain. The look of betrayal in her eyes when she learned Juliette was responsible.
Now all Juliette had in front of her was a winding, dark road. She didn’t even know where she was going. Her parents would find out soon enough that she had worked with Oliver to bring Elinor down. Her home was no longer a place of safety. Her relationship with her sister was more than likely a bridge she had burned for good. Oliver was her brother; he’d been there for her when she needed him but he was still behaving strangely and Juliette wasn’t entirely sure she could trust him. Ben was gone, safer with his Dad than here in Savannah. She was alone, she had nowhere to go and no one to help her. Maybe this was always her destiny. She never fit in with her family, but she was never destined to fit in with the human world either. She was a doomed soul, wandering forever to find her place in the world.
A piercing scream shattered her thoughts, causing her head to throb and her tears to fall even faster. There was no one around here for miles. The scream can only have come from one place.
Cal.
Their connection was still strong, despite their parting. Her ears were still ringing, a coldness radiating from her head down to her chest, an unforgiving ache beginning to dwell deep within her heart. They must’ve killed Theo. There was no other explanation for Cal’s rageful scream. There was certainly no love lost in her rejection of Juliette. Punching the car horn in frustration, Juliette wished to all powers that be that she could just switch off her feelings, just like Cal had. If only she could just stop feeling altogether, she’d be the perfect daughter for her parents, the perfect sister to make Elinor proud.
A monster not even welcome among monsters.
Turning the volume dial of the radio all the way up, Juliette desperately tried to seek solace in the deafening roar of music that she wasn’t quite familiar with, to think of anything but the girl she had given herself wholly to. What a sorry state she found herself in now. Her mother had been right, she never should’ve pursued Cal. Dating a human was questionable at best but a hunter? Pure stupidity. Wiping her tears, even now Juliette couldn’t bring herself to regret her time with Cal. It had ended badly, and she was now in the worst pain she had ever known but Juliette wasn’t sure she would ever feel the same way as she had when she was with Cal. She was grateful to have at least been seen as something other than a monster, or a disappointment…well at least for a short while.
She needed a destination. She couldn’t leave Savannah, not with all the monster checkpoints in town. She’d have to try and think clearly, try to think of somewhere she could go. Her inner voice whined and yearned, wistfully attempted to think of Cal and her eyes, the feel of her skin, the softness of her lips, the hands exploring Juliette…
The tears began to fall freely again, deep heavy sobs shaking Juliette’s small frame. Thinking of Cal was not a good idea. She tried again to clear the fog in her mind, thinking of where she was going to end up. She could get a hotel, but her parents would likely find her and force her to come where she awaited a most terrible punishment, she was sure of it. Hotels were out of the question. She couldn’t go to the school either. No doubt some of the Guild hunters were there, trying to find her and put her down for good. Revenge for Theo. Maybe Cal was one of them.
The image of Cal holding a spear to her chest floated into the back of her mind. Juliette had no doubts that she would’ve stabbed her if she knew it would kill her. A part of her had wished in that moment that perhaps it would. Cal would be free of her, of their love’s influence and she would be free from her miserable existence that only Cal and Ben had given her refuge from, and she’d lost both.
A thought occurred to her, a place she knew was now empty. Her grandmother had an old house here in Savannah, a gorgeous log cabin on the edge of town. With her grandmother now…snake food…it was likely empty, and her mother wouldn’t go anywhere near it. They wouldn’t think of it as a place Juliette would go, and so for now it made the perfect hiding spot. She had hoped to one day show it to Cal, sneak away with her for a few days for make-out sessions in the huge master bedroom and cuddles in front of the fire.
A stab of pain in her chest reminded her that she should probably stop torturing herself with what was and what could have been. She tried to rub the sensation away but it insisted, sharply pricking at her heart. She was nearly at the cabin, so close she could identify familiar trees as she drove past. Her vision was blurring, the pain in her chest was getting worse, her lungs just weren’t filling up as she ordered them. Was she having a panic attack? Understandable in the circumstances. But Juliette had struggled with anxiety for many years now, she knew what a panic attack for her felt like. This was something else, something new.
She was barely able to park the car, practically crashing it into a well-placed tree in the driveway. Stumbling out of the car and groaning at the damaged car, Juliette tried to search for the spare key. Several images swam in front of her. Oliver smiling at her, understanding. Her mother and father urging her to feed. Cal hugging her so tight, Juliette thought she’d never let go. Elinor laughing as she collected another driving licence. Ben’s horror as she killed her first human. Her mother’s sadness when she told her that she and Cal could never be. Her father’s eyes flashing green. Theo’s hesitance to feed from her. Elinor’s silent fury as she was taken away in cuffs. Cal’s lip curled up in disgust. Cal’s betrayal. Cal holding a spear.
Choosing a weighty rock instead, Juliette managed to smash the back door window and fall into the property, her legs no longer willing to hold her weight. Her stomach turned and she crawled to sink, throwing up dark, red blood. Legs weak and wobbly, a cold sweat creeping onto her brow, Juliette decided the stairs were not a sensile option and collapsed on the couch. Wiping her mouth, she remembered when she was first told how a Legacy can be killed. Was it Elinor who told her? Juliette can’t recall. She knows that they talked about it. She remembers Elinor leaning in close, a devilish grin on her face.
“A Legacy can live forever if they choose to. It’s only the stupid ones that get themselves killed.”
Juliette had frowned. “The stupid ones?”
Elinor had shrugged nonchalantly, like the matter they were discussing was the most trivial in the world. “Well, yeah. They do it to themselves.”
“How?”
Elinor had frowned then, an unusual expression to ever cross her face. “I don’t know if you want to know, Jules.”
Juliette had begged and pleaded until Elinor got bored of teasing her. “Please, Elinor!”
“Fine. But first: How attached are you to that human boy of yours?”
Juliette had scoffed. “Ben? He’s my best friend. What’s that got to do with anything?”
Elinor had beckoned her closer and whispered, as if afraid to get caught. “A Legacy only ever dies when they fall in love.”
Juliette remembered being taken aback. That couldn’t be true. Lots of vampires, both Made and Legacy, found meaningful, fulfilling relationships to settle in. Her parents were happy and in love, and they weren’t dying. Were they?
Elinor could see what Juliette was thinking. “Don’t look so worried. A Legacy doesn’t just die if they fall in love.”
“So, how then?”
“When a Legacy falls, and I mean really falls, their connection with their beloved is like nothing else. It’s a bond, a tie that cannot be severed. Unless of course, something happens. Then, sweet little, it never ends well.”
Juliette gulped, the memory forcing her to face an unpleasant truth. Her bond with Cal had been like nothing she had ever experienced. Now Cal hated her with the full force of her being. Did that mean their bond had been irreparably severed? Juliette could hear Elinor’s laughter ringing in her ears.
“When the bond is broken, sweet little, the Legacy that created the bond, their heart is damaged. That doesn’t quite kill them, of course. Hurts like hell. They’re real weak too. Makes them a nice, easy target for hunters looking for new ink.”
So, this was it then. Juliette knew that she would do anything for Cal, she still would. She’d even granted Cal’s wish, and Cal was the smartest person she knew. She’d figure it out. Then Juliette would be done for. Was that such a bad thing? As she lay on the couch, her vision blurring as sleep took hold of her, Juliette smiled as Cal’s sweet, smiling face came into view. It wasn’t a connected dream, she wasn’t exploring a dreamy plane with her monster hunter. No, this was a memory, a gem of the past Juliette would cling to for the rest of her days. She knew that this torture, dangling images of Cal for her mind to run away with, imagining all that could have been. She didn’t care. Whether she lived or died, she’d be loving Cal. Living without the love of her life was pain enough, why not add salt to the wound by pretending she had something to live for?
After all, what greater punishment is there than life when you have lost everything that made it worth living?