Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Star Chat" was created by TripleD.

TripleD  invited Meta Knight, Taxolor and Susanna Patrya Haltmann.

Susanna Patrya Haltmann changed their nickname to Susie.

Taxolor changed their nickname to Magolor.

Meta Knight: "Taxolor"?

Magolor: Admit it, it was funny.

TripleD: meh

             so like, who gives the phones? bandan wants to spare and i also need to check on the mage ladies poeple

Meta Knight: I'll do it. I probably won't give one to Kirby yet, though.

Magolor: Why???

Meta Knight: He can't read.

Susie: aw..

         Gooey can tho, I gave him the gauntlets my  employees uses to type without arms

         Made it strawberry flavor because he puts it on his tongue.

Meta Knight: I see. Goodbye as for now.

TripleD: remember mety do not fly when in a forest, walk, or say goodye to half of your bones

Meta Knight is now offline.

Susie: I'm guessing it happened before.

TripleD: space baby n2 is pissed and angry when no bone

Magolor: "space baby"

              Dedede is precious.

Susie: More like Chadede.

TripleD: the king of dreamland is also the funniest man alive

             ok how does bandan knows to use phones already??? she never ever saw one

Susie: It's nothing special.

          Some persons knows to use phones faster and better than others.

          That's all.

TripleD invited Bandana Waddle Dee.

Bandana Waddle Dee changed their nickname to Bandee.

Magolor: frieeennnd!!!!

Bandee: mags!!!..!

Susie: You guys are friends?

TripleD: Since the whole thing with the tower, yeah

Meta Knight invited Daroach.

Daroach: Friends and fiends.

Susie: Now I won't have to go murder you to ask you to kindly give back my HELMET

Daroach: It was fun while it lasted. I'm comming to your office in about an hour. Note to clean it, Adeleine wore it.

Susie: She has messy hair

          my helmet 

          full of hair from a stranger

Bandee: I can help with cleaning it after i beated down great king a sixth time!!!

TripleD: five*

Meta Knight  invited DMK, Ribbon and Adeleine_paint.

Adeleine_paint changed their nickname to Adeleine.

Adeleine: susie im sorry!!!! daroach (rat man) told me it was a gift and told me it was yours only after!!!! i promise there isnt my hair in it!!!! i alredy cleaned it!!!!

Daroach: Adeleine (fuzzy kid) says the truth.

Susie: Yeah, you should still count your days, "Rat Man".

DMK: Heh.

Ribbon: my hands too small for the phone :(

DMK: I just noticed I had yours. I'll switch accounts and give it after.

Meta Knight invited Taranza, gooey, Kine and 2 others.

Taranza: I also need to say it here: I love the web pattern on this phone thing.

Coo: good for you.

Rick: GDAY MATES

Kine: HELLO THANK YOU FOR THE GLOVE THING AND THE WATERPROOF PHONE THING VERY GOOD VERY THANKS

Rick: wait mate there's a button thing to write in tinnier letters

Kine: Ooooh. Cool!

Gooey: fon :)

DMK: The way you text is entertaining.

Daroach: You mean cute, don't you?

DMK: No.

Taranza: He means cute.

Meta Knight: Embrace for the fiend.

Rick: oh boi gdluck

TripleD: i'dd tell you to wait but yknow

             i'd*

Meta Knight  invited Marx.

Marx: what's up fuckers

Magolor:  My man!!!!

Marx: MAGS

          balls

Magolor: hehehe

DMK: Heh.

TripleD: funny but LISTEN EVERYBODY

             three persons are going to join in a moment

             THEYRE GOOD NOW. NO INSULTS. EBVERYONE IS CHILL.
             THen your monarch has another announcement

TripleD invited Francisca, Flamberge and Zan Partizanne.

Francisca: bonjam :)

Flamberge: JELLO F***ERS

Zan Partizanne: Bonjam.

Marx: FIRE LADY

         YOU LAUGHED AT MY JOKE WHEN WE FOUGHT

Flamberge: YOU

                  YOUR FUNNY

                  :thumbsup:

Marx: THAOh NK YOU

          DOYOU WNAT TO BE MY FRIEND???

Flamberge: WHY NOT AHAGGAAGGAGAHAHAHHA

Francisca: miss flamberge calm down :(

Flamberge: sh*t sorry franny 

Susie: Welcome. I'm the pink haired girl with the blasters. You'll get to meet everyone here.

Francisca: great!! thank you :)

Zan Partizanne: Oh my god. I'm already having the blast of my life.

Gooey: fon funny 

TripleD: its actually because she can type without using her fingers, she can use her magic

Marx: shit cool

Marx changed their nickname to jesterfunny

jesterfunny: I CANNOT BE CONTAINED

Magolor: oh boy....

TripleD: ok so first

TripleD changed jesterfunny's nickname to fiend

fiend: noooooo :(((((((((((

TripleD: second, this groupchat was made so wwe can all meet eachother and bound easily, but also to prevent everybody when there's a new incident

              we*

Meta Knight: There also is a filter because of the children in this groupchat. 

DMK: I see. Do you want to duel?

Meta Knight: Now that everything is said and done, yes.

Daroach: good luck dark (dummy blob)

DMK: Thank you Daroach (Rat Man.)

Adeleine: beat him up dark (dummy blob)!!!!

Ribbon: Don't hurt yourself Dark (dummy blob)!!!!

DMK: Wait. I have an idea.

DMK  changed their nickname to Dummy Blob

Dummy Blob changed Daroach's nickname to Rat Man

Dummy Blob changed Adeleine's nickname to Fuzzy Kid

Dummy Blob changed Ribbon's nickname to Winged Demon

Winged Demon: Clever!

fiend: lmao "winged demon"

          and we call dark meta knight "edgy"

Magolor: There's a difference between a little 6 y/o fairy gal and fully grown up man, Marxie.

Dummy Blob: After my friendly little fight, I will go and hunt you down. Then I will use your blood for my future drawings during my art sessions.

fiend: things heatin up

Flamberge: yes good very good very appreciated

Meta Knight is offline.

Dummy Blob  is offline.

Zan Partizanne: Dedede, Hyness just proposed himself to teach Kirby about how to read and write.

TripleD: doesnt he need to land his tiny bastion somewhere

Zan Partizanne: It's done.

TripleD: wh

             ok so uh he just needs to have a lot of patience and then he goes to space baby n1 house

Zan Partizanne: Understood.

Zan Partizanne is now offline.

Magolor: I'm gonna die!

Gooey: no dont :(

Bandee: mags nooooo

Susie: Good luck.

Chapter Text

Today, Star Chat, 10 AM.

TripleD: magolor did you survive

Magolor: He came through the Lor's screen, bonked me on the head, called me "Little baby pussy boy"; and left. I am scared.

fiend changed Magolor's nickname to Deadolor

fiend: who buys the coffin

Flamberge: What the HELL is a coffin

fiend: fucking box with the screams of the dead in it

fiend: i want to have a purple one

Flamberge: yo it has colors????

fiend: yes. there can also be music when they bury your ass

fiend: i want them to play national russian anthem thing

Flamberge: yo shit's cool

Flamberge: yeoffls

Francisca: Ok, is there any location in Dreamland where it's cold like hell?

fiend: hell isnt cold

Francisca: You get it.

Susie: Pretty sure Meta Knight's spaceship is always cold during summer, because of their armors and the fact that the whole thing is made out of metal.

Meta Knight: I'm not in Dreamland.

Zan Partizanne changed their nickname to Zanpan.

Zanpan: Franny come to the kitchen.

Francisca: Ok.

Francisca  is now offline.

Deadolor: Man, my head still hurts.

Taranza: you can go to my room in dedede's castle and i can give you some tea if you want :)

Deadolor: YOOOO

Deadolor: TEA WITH HONEY???

Taranza: sure ! 

Deadolor: speedrunning getting t e a

It was an hot day in Popstar. Gooey was playing, sadly without his friends, as they were trying to get a little nap. Even Coo, who doesn't sleep much. Plus, Marx was probably on these phones things. He just played alone, not that he didn't like it, it was calm, it was nice. However, while flying around, he quickly saw some sort of shadow sprinting to a nearby bush. What was this thing? Curious, Gooey went to check on it.

"Aaaah! Don't hurt me! I'm sorry!" said the strange shadow.

Gooey immediately backed a bit. Then, said in sad tone: "Did I scared you? I'm sorry... Who are you?"

The shadow the left the bush, more confident, seeing that the stranger that spotted him wasn't going to hurt him. "Poeple call me 'Dark Matter Swordsman.' I don't like it... I don't even know why they call me like that... And who are you?"

"I'm Gooey... I think? Yeah, I'm probably Gooey. Do you want to be friends?" said our beloved slime.

"F... Friends? I... I like friends! Thank you!" it looked like the shadow, or, well, Dark Matter Swordsman, was happy upon hearing the word 'friend.' That also made Gooey happy. He likes being happy. Who doesn't?

Francisca: summer is great

Bandee: are you ok?

Zanpan: I asked Hyness if we could empty the fridge and use his ice magic to contain the food somewhere else. So now she's just seating in the fridge eating ice cream.

Meta Knight  is typing...

TripleD: do it with YOUR fridge

Meta Knight: I tried. 

fiend: doing it with dedede's fridge

TripleD: WHAT

fiend: you said meta knight couldnt

TripleD: WHERE ARE YOU

fiend: idk i forgot

fiend: dumbass

TripleD: IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU

Fuzzy Kid: Penguin King is annoyed

Rat Man: Penguin King is PISSED.

Dummy Blob: My Mad-o-Meter is off the charts.

fiend: OUR KING IS A N N O Y E D

fiend: wait 

fiend: SHIT HES HERE HOW

TripleD: IM NOT JUST GONNA CLOBBER YOU IM GONNA MAKEYOU INTO THE PANCAKES FROM KAWASAKIS

fiend  is offline.

TripleD is offline.

Winged Demon: here lies marx

fiend is online.

fiend: getting clobbered is terrible. but i had apple pie from his fridge!!!!

Flamberge: getting clobbered i like zan's pranks

Zanpan: You're still mad about that asteroid. Aren't you? 

Flamberge: YOUR NOT FUNNY

Flamberge: YOU KNOW WHT, "SISTER"???

Flamberge: I AM GOING TO CREATE THE FUNNY CULT

Flamberge: WITHOUT YOU

Zanpan: Ok. Sad, I suppose?

fiend: YO CAN I JOIN

Flamberge: ok first zan fyou second sure :)))))

fiend: yeah

fiend: hating zan partizanne is how we pray here

Susie: living with cavemen.

fiend: being friend with cavemen*

Susie: The same. Really.

Deadolor: calm down guys!!

"Wooow! You're so strong! And your sword... Is it a sword?"

"I don't know, I forgot..."

"Sharp... Yeah it's a sword. Well it's so pretty!"

It looked like the two new friends were having a good time together. Dark Matter Swordsman wanted to show his new pal Gooey his little sword tricks. Gooey was left impressed by his new friend's skill.

"Say, do you know what a phone is?" said Gooey, he looked like he just got an idea.

"Phone...? Is it a sword?"

"No, it's some sort of square where you... you... You can send letters! It's cool! I could ask my friend Sue to give you a phone, so like that I can show you all my friends and we can... uh... Speak?"

"I think you say 'speak', yeah."

"So like that we can continue to speak together!"

"Sure!"

The two new friends definitely were having fun. Gooey liked his new friend a lot, and definitely was having fun. He wondered if the rest of his friends would like him.

Flamberge: THE FUNNY

fiend: WE ARE FUNNY

Flamberge: THE FUNNY

fiend: W E A R E F U N N Y

Rat Man: Sir, this is a Wendy's

Dummy Blob: Wendy's sucks.

Meta Knight: Glad to be your friend.

Dummy Blob: We're not friends.

Meta Knight: Right. Rival, glad to be your rival.

TripleD  - Bandee

Bandee: Great King?

TripleD: ye

Bandee: how do i even say this

Bandee: Do you know an idea of gifts to give to someone that you like?

TripleD: girl. why me???

TripleD: ask taranza he finna be a proffesional on thiss one

Bandee: are you ok?

TripleD: when i clobbered marx he took my hammer and left

Bandee: oh....

Today, Star Chat, 2PM

Flamberge: cisca slow down on the ice cream

Francisca: No

fiend: bruh