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Yoongi walks through the forest when everything is asleep. When even the trees don’t shake to greet him and flowers don’t shyly wink at him. It’s nice, he thinks. Being awake when everything else is not. When the silence is the strongest and the most vulnerable. When everything is invisible.
Yoongi likes walking in the dark and pretending he's not stuck in his mortal body. Pretending he enjoys the lonely nights and even more lonely days. But at least at night, he doesn’t have to smile at others and pretend everything’s okay. At night he can just wander.
Wander until his feet refuse to take another step forward. Until his mind starts to quiet down. Only then can he turn around, drag himself back to his house and fall asleep.
Yoongi never thought he would see someone awake in the forest. But he does. It’s one of those nights when the witch can’t seem to tire himself out and his feet just keep going. He walks and walks until he hears something. Or someone.
There in the dark is a man, looking up at the moon with so much adoration and love, Yoongi feels as if he shouldn’t be watching. The man has a small, worn out notebook in his hands. Reading words carefully. Reading beautiful words filled with love, longing, and pain. So much pain that Yoongi feels his breath get stuck in his throat. The man reads and Yoongi listens. Worlds loud in the night but lost in the darkness. Yoongi realises he’s watching a fellow witch. Immortal. No one other than a man, who has lived through it all, can call out for the moon with this much fondness and sorrow at the same time.
It’s only when Yoongi feels tears stream down his face that he turns around and walks back home. He lies in his bed just to stare at his dying plants for hours on end.
The first time Yoongi approaches the man is the 5th time he sees him. After hearing his words the witch wasn’t able to get the man out of his mind. Making his feet wander through the forest to the poet.
Kim Namjoon, he learns, is in love with the moon. Moon who used to be his lover. More beautiful than anything he will ever be able to write. Kinder than the goddess herself. Someone who even darkness and death were fond of.
Maybe even too fond since he was a mortal. A mortal who the witch fell in love with. Lovers whose story was a tragedy from the beginning. And yet they didn’t shy away from inevitable heartbreak. They loved each other for decades. Until time caught up with them and broke them apart.
Even then, with gods and the universe on their side, their story didn’t end, One lover was turned into the moon. And the other remained in the mortal world, waiting.
Once every 10 years, on the full moon they could reunite again. Namjoon would finally be able to read his moon his poems. Touch and love him until the sunrise. And when the sun would start climbing up the mountains, making its way up the sky. The whole world would hold its breath and watch them dance one last time.
Yoongi understands why the world favored them. The way Namjoon speaks about his lover. That’s the love that never dies. But Yoongi can’t understand how one could fall in love so deeply that they were ready to sacrifice everything.
To wait and hurt. To become nocturnal. To write poems and read it to the darkness. The same darkness that took their lover. To watch but never be able to see them. To choose an eternity of loneliness. How could one love someone that much?
When he asked Namjoon, the younger one just shrugged his shoulders. “It just happened. I got to know him and one day he just became the person who I wanted to be with forever.” Yoongi didn’t understand and didn't want to. It’s too much pain and the witch didn’t think he could handle more than he carried already.
But since when did the universe listens to what Yoongi wanted. Fate had different plans for him.
Yoongi fell and he fell hard. The witch, incapable of sleep until sunrise, fell in love with the boy who loved the sun. Maybe because he was made from the light himself, Yoongi would say.
Yoongi met Jimin on his worst day. When he didn’t sleep for a minute. When everything was too loud and bright but too hazy. Yoongi only saw him that day, Boy with a bright smile, soft hair and concerned eyes asking him if he was okay, Yoongi had answered yes with a weak nod.
“Really?”
“No” the witch didn't know why he told the truth.
"Let’s talk then” the boy quickly sat down in front of him, but when Yoongi didn’t make a move he added shyly. “Only if you want to of course.”
“It's a long story.”
“I’ve got forever.”
Yoongi fell in love with a boy who didn’t like picking flowers because he didn't want to hurt them. Who cried when he was happy and sad. Who was stubborn. Too stubborn.
“Let’s live together.”
“No”
“Why no?”
“Because I said so.”
“Hyung, if you’re afraid of getting attached I think it's a bit too late for that.”
“you're insufferable.”
“Okay but where should I put my babies, they need a sunny place.”
Yoongi fell in love with a boy who loved the sun but watched the stars with him.
"they’re beautiful, aren't they?" said Jimin with one eye closed and his hand reached out, trying to hold a star between his fingers.
Yoongi hummed, looking away from the boy and up to the dark sky. "They are."
"aw, why the sad voice hyung." Jimin teased lightly, flashing his pretty smile. Yoongi thinks he will never get enough of him.
"They're so far away from each other, there's no one next to them who fully understands them. Don’t you think that's lonely?" When Yoongi looked at Jimin, he found the boy's eyes already on him.
"Are you lonely, yoongi?" His voice soft but confident, just like Jimin.
Yoongi caught his smaller hand in his, intertwined their finger and held it against his beating heart.
"not anymore."
Yoongi fell in love with a boy who sang to their plants. Jimin saved them, loved them, grew them and left them. Because Jimin was a mortal and Yoongi fell in love with a dying boy.
"Hyung, I’m going to die soon. Are you sure you want me?”
“Don't be silly, Jiminah. Death doesn’t scare me. Not when I'm with you.”
But that was a lie. Never in his endless life had Yoongi been more scared of death than when he was with Jimin. Afraid of darkness coming and taking away the boy he would give everything to.
Yoongi understood.
When Jimin’s hand was in his, boy on the bed coughing but still smiling, looking up at Yoongi with tearful eyes, Yoongi finally understood.
“I’ll love you forever,”
“Forever is a long time, yoongi. I want you to be happy.”
“I’m happy when I'm with you.”
Because that night when Jimin’s chest rose for the last time. When a final tear slid down his lover's face. When Jimin’s hand went limp in his. Yoongi understood that even if Jimin was gone, his love would never leave Yoongi.
Yoongi understood so he screamed.
Screamed and kicked and begged. Begged for Jimin to come back. To not leave him. Powerful witch destroyed by a mortal. What a pitiful sight. He cried until he fell numb.
Yoongi hated everything. But Jimin believed in good.
So even when the witch was swearing at the world, the universe couldn’t let their story end there.
The day when Park Jimin died, A new sun was born, A sun that brought light and warmth. Chased away the darkness and bloomed hope. Now when Yoongi sits and watches his star, his love, his Jimin. He fully understands Namjoon.
When the witch sings for his star the words loud in the night but lost in the darkness, he feels at peace. Because every 10 years he’ll get to see Jimin smile and laugh. Every ten years the world will hold its breath for their last kiss for the decade. Just Like he holds his when he watches Seokjin and Namjoon dance in each other's embrace. Yoongi understands now.
Even if he didn’t want to. Even if it hurts. Even if it aches. He’s still never alone. Because Jimin’s love isn’t something that goes away. It’s not something death can take away from him.
It’s eternal and It’s Yoongi’s.