Work Text:
It was a cold and rainy afternoon in Seoul. People were going on about their day, some glued to their phones; others just walking aimlessly. No one was paying any attention to the flustered man walking with a pep in his step and a medium luggage dragging behind him. Min Yoongi stopped at the steps of Seoul Station to check his phone and see if his friend Hoseok had replied to him. He did not have any missed messages.
Yoongi had received a call from his sister a few hours earlier. She informed him that their mom had taken a fall down the stairs and had fractured her leg. It would be a long recovery, but thankfully the fracture wasn’t as they feared, and she would be fine. He knew his sister just wanted to update him and was not expecting him to take the train down to Daegu to see them. But Yoongi would not be Yoongi if he did not grab his luggage and make arrangements to leave that same afternoon. The beauty of being an author was that he could take off at any moment as long as his editor received his deadlines on time. He was excited to see his sister and mom. He had not seen them in the last couple of years and this visit was overdue. It is not that he did not want to see his family and had purposely skipped on seeing them. Somehow, he had allowed himself to be too consumed by work, and soon enough the time between his visits became longer and longer.
Yoongi found the platform for his train, and as he was about to enter the cart and go find a seat, he felt his cellphone vibrate. An incoming call from Hoseok.
“Yoongi?” came a flustered voice from the other line. “Sorry, I just got out of practice. Is everything ok with your mom?”
“Hobi…yes she is fine. Just a small fracture on her right fibula. The bone will heal fine, but she will need to wear a cast for the next eight weeks or so. I just figured it was time I went home and paid them a visit you know.”
“Glad it’s nothing serious! Still sorry to hear about it though. When is your train leaving?”
“In about 20 minutes. I just got to the platform.” Yoongi was tucked next to one of the columns by the station, out of everyone’s way. “I would have gotten to my seat by now if a certain someone did not call at the most inconvenient time.” he added playfully.
Hoseok’s laughter was bright and pure, like a string of ringing bells. Yoongi could not help but smile whenever his friend busted one of his signature laughs. “Oh I’m sorry sir! I shall be more mindful in the future.”
“You shall be forgiven this one time only.” Yoongi responded back with a slight smirk. “I am sorry I am leaving on such short notice like this, but I wanted to see mom as soon as possible.”
“No need to apologize! I would have done the same. I am just glad she is ok and you will be seeing her soon. Please give her my best wishes.”
“I will. I should probably go and try to find a seat though. I am still not sure how long I’ll be in Daegu, but I will text you once I am home.”
Hoseok laughed again. He always seemed to be full of cheers at all times. Yoongi knew better though. “Please don’t worry about me! Have a wonderful time with your mom and with Eunji. We’ll talk soon!” And with that, Yoongi heard the line go dead. He looked at the time one more time and rushed inside to find a window seat. Luckily, the train was not too full and there were plenty of seats available.
The train ride was pretty uneventful. Yoongi leaned his head against the window as he watched the raindrops hit the glass and scurry down it. Pretty soon the monotonous sound of the train hitting the tracks lulled him to sleep. Before he knew it, a couple of hours had passed, and he had arrived in Daegu. By the time he arrived he was greeted by a rainless sky that was beginning to dress itself in twilight colors.
Yoongi did not tell his sister he was planning on seeing them. He knew she would try to dissuade him if he did. Instead, he hailed a cab and arrived at his childhood home by complete surprise. His sister, a mixture of bewilderment and exasperation, hugged him very tight the minute she opened the door.
“Yoongi! What are you doing here? I told you she was fine!” She said as she pulled away from the hug.
“I know you did, but I wanted to make sure you were not lying to me” Yoongi replied cheekily as he stepped inside the house. “Plus, I was beginning to forget what this house looked like, so I had to come back to salvage the memories you know?”
“It is good to have you back, but really it was not necessary for you to come. I know how busy you are these days, and I did not mean to get you worried.” Eunji took Yoongi’s coat and hung it by the door. “Mom is in the living room just watching TV.”
“Min Yoongi what are you doing here?” Yoongi’s mom was sitting on the armchair with her left leg propped on the ottoman. “Eunji, why did you tell your brother about my fall?” Yoongi’s mom asked her oldest child in annoyance.
Yoongi kissed her forehead and gave her a big hug “Please do not be mad at Eunji mom. I came here because I wanted to visit you both.” He grabbed a chair from the dining room and moved it closer to his mother’s side. “I have missed you so much. How are you feeling?”
“I am ok. I just feel a bit silly as to how the fall happened” Yoongi’s mom hid her face behind her hands. “I was just coming down the basement stairs at work, when I missed one step and came tumbling down. Luckily your sister was there with me and was able to call an ambulance for me. Otherwise I am ok. Just have to wear this cast for eight weeks until the leg heals. But so far so good, other than the inconvenience of moving around the house in this.”
“I am glad you are feeling well. Do you need me to get you anything right now?” His mom just shook her head. Yoongi directed his attention to his sister, who was standing to his right. “I know I just showed up without a heads up, would you like me to grab something from the market for dinner? I can head out now.”
“No need Yoongi. With how stressful today has been, I was just going to order some take-out and call it a day. I am too tired to make dinner and you had a long train ride. We can go tomorrow morning after breakfast if that’s fine with you?” Yoongi smiled and nodded at his sister. “Come, let’s bring your luggage to your old room and get you settled in. You can go ahead and use the bath before dinner gets here.”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely. Mom’s bathing will be a bit difficult now with the cast and I don’t know exactly how I’ll go about it since it is the first day. Besides, you had a long journey and I am sure you would like to change clothes. Come.”
Eunji took him to his old bedroom. She chatted away while changing the bedsheets for her brother. She was telling him about the flower shop she helped run with their mom, and how they had recently hired a new part-timer. She also told him about the new delivery guy who started bringing the flower orders on a different day and how she did not understand why they had to change the delivery day after so many years. Yoongi could tell she was a bit nervous. She always seemed to become super chatty whenever she was uncomfortable. He could not blame her though; he had not seen her in two years. There was bound to be some awkwardness between the two of them.
As Eunji busied herself with the bedsheets and the chatter, Yoongi took a look around his old bedroom. It was pretty much how he had left it when he left home for Seoul after graduating high school. A couple of posters decorated the otherwise empty walls. On his old desk he saw a few books and a pencil holder. He noticed the surface of his desk and dresser were missing a few things.
“All set now. Do you want me to help you put your luggage away?”
“No thank you. I will probably unpack later” Yoongi pointed towards the old books on the desk. “I had forgotten about most of these.”
“Mom and I put most of your things inside that box under the desk. She did not want things to get too dusty here. Feel free to check them out and donate what no longer is needed. We did not want to get rid of anything without your permission.” Yoongi moved the chair out of the way to grab the box and place it on top of the bed. He was curious to see what he had left in this old room. “I’ll go and place the take-out. Towels are in the linen closet. Feel free to shower now.” Eunji said a bit too sternly.
“Thanks mom.” Yoongi said as he turned towards his older sister and playfully added. “I’ll make sure to be in bed by 9 pm too”.
Eunji felt a bit embarrassed and started smoothing down her shirt. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget you are an adult now.” She looked up at him and smiled. “It’s good to have you back though.”
“I am happy to be back too. I am sorry it took me this long to visit”.
“We knew you were busy with work. Don’t worry about it. I am glad you are here now.” Eunji spared one last smile towards her brother and left the bedroom with the dirty bedsheets.
As soon as the door closed, Yoongi moved to open the storage box he had taken from under the desk. His mom had placed a few basketball trophies from his high school championships. There was also an old portable cd player along with a few CDs, and an old digital camera he used to take with him everywhere. Lastly, he found a picture frame with a photo of him and Hoseok the summer before their senior year of high school. They had gone to a local amusement park and had snapped a photo together by the entrance. The two were giving two thumbs up while cheesing at the camera.
He inspected the CDs while smiling softly. He would definitely be taking these back to Seoul. He paid special attention to one in particular. His smile grew bigger as he took the CD out of the box and opened its case. Back in high school, when he and Hoseok would walk together to school, there was a time when he used to play this specific CD nonstop. Partly because he was too lazy to switch it out of his cd player, but also because Yoongi felt some of the slower songs in the album fit winter best. He took the worn-out CD out of the case and placed it inside the old portable CD player. Luckily he found a pair of spare batteries inside the box as well.
He placed the headphones on and mindlessly skipped to his favorite song, track 11. Yoongi closed his eyes and smiled. The song immediately transported him to a cold January morning on his way to school. The cold and crispy air hitting him as he walked down the street. Hoseok walking alongside him, laughing, and talking way too animatedly for 6:45 am. The fading light of a lamppost illuminating their path as the morning sun started to peak through the
trees. Yoongi’s smile only grew bigger. Hoseok’s presence was always comforting. Whether it was as children running around in the playground, as teenagers walking to school together, or as adults supporting each other’s dreams. He could not remember the exact moment when Hoseok and him had become friends, but he knew his best friend’s presence in his life was one of the most consistent things he ever had.
Hoseok had been there for him when his father walked out on their family when Yoongi was twelve. He had been there when he sent his first manuscript to a publisher. He was there through the multiple rejections that followed, but he was also there when he got the first call back from an editor interested in his stories. His friend’s support had been a big part of his success.
Clear blue water
High tide came and brought you in
And I could go on and on, on and on, and I will
Skies grew darker
Currents swept you out again
And you were just gone and gone, gone and gone
In silent screams
In wildest dreams
I never dreamed of this
This love is good
This love is bad…
He felt a bit silly thinking of Hoseok as the song was gearing up towards the last verse. He noticed certain thoughts and feelings were coming up regarding his best friend and he pushed those down immediately. He did not need them right now. There had always been a certain tension between the two of them, but Yoongi never allowed it to go any further than that. He valued his friendship with Hoseok too much to want to ruin that. Besides, timing was never on their side. One of them always seemed to be dating or interested in someone else when the other was single. He had taken that as a sign that it was best to not pursue anything with his best friend.
But there was a time a few months ago, in the spring, when Yoongi had allowed himself to hold some hope and dream about the what-ifs. Hoseok had just gotten tired of the dating scene, after yet another failed date, and had suggested the two should take a trip to the countryside to unwind and get out of Seoul’s hellish traffic for a few days. Yoongi allowed himself to be dragged by his best friend to Hwagae to view the cherry blossoms. He had to admit that the short trip getaway helped him relax and focus on his work better.
He also felt his relationship with his best friend had shifted during this trip. Perhaps it was the late-night intimate conversations they had over several bottles of soju, or the slow pace
in the countryside which meant the two would spend lazy mornings in the rental house followed by aimless strolling around to see the cherry blossoms and explore the town, but Yoongi felt as if their relationship was moving towards an unexplored territory. Many times, during these intimate moments he felt the urge to reach for Hoseok’s hand and gently squeeze it or lean his head on his friend’s shoulder. The two of them had always been physically affectionate with one another, but this time he felt their unspoken tension was at an all-time high. For the first time, Yoongi felt confident that Hoseok would not turn him away if he were to attempt to take things further.
But Yoongi never felt confident enough to take that leap of faith, and as soon as they returned to Seoul and went back to their normal pace of life, the tension that had been there during their visit to Hwagae dissipated as fast as it arrived. Neither of them addressed it again, and soon Yoongi started to question if things had shifted at all between the two of them. Perhaps he had imagined that things were changing between the two of them. Maybe his hopeful heart was seeing things were there were none.
After the song finished playing, Yoongi headed downstairs to help set the dinner table. It was nice being able to have dinner with his mom and sister after such a long time. The three of them ended up chatting about everything and nothing. He really should make more of an effort to come visit more often.
“How long will you be staying Yoongi?” His mother asked him.
“Not sure yet. I was thinking of maybe staying here for a few weeks at least and help out around the house and maybe at the shop too.”
“While I love having you back here, I also do not want to interfere with your work. I know you are a busy writer and need to focus on your work” his mother insisted. “Plus the doctor said I will be off this cast in no time.”
Yoongi and Eunji shared an amused look before he answered “Mom, you only got the cast on today. Helping around the house will not distract me. I usually get most of my writing done at nighttime anyway. Let’s see how the bone heals first, and then we can worry about me heading back to Seoul ok?”
“Ok…” his mother answered sheepishly. “I will let you stay with Eunji and I for a few more days without charging you rent.”
The three of them laughed.
~~~~
Yoongi settled into a small routine the next few days. He would wake up, prepare breakfast for his sister and mom while Eunji helped their mother with her morning routine. He would stay home with his mother for a few hours just to make sure she didn’t need anything, and maybe try to get some writing done. After lunchtime, he would stop by the flower shop for a couple of hours to see if Eunji needed anything. It was good to see familiar faces. Chaewon, a friend of his sister who had been working with them at the shop for about four years; and Sang Hoon, an older gentleman who had been working as a part-timer since the shop opened. He also got to meet the new part-timer his sister had mentioned. After helping around the shop and making sure his sister had taken a break, he would head back home to his mom and start working on supper for them. After dinner, he would hole himself in his room and do most of his writing during that time.
It was a monotonous rhythm, but one Yoongi gladly welcomed. The slower pace of life, unsurprisingly, fueled his creative side. He was experiencing a bit of a writer’s block in Seoul. But here in Daegu, he had enough time to think of ideas and dialogues for his work during the idle time at the shop and at home. He was finding inspiration in the slow way of life, so different from his busy life in Seoul. Yoongi had written so much of his new work in the short amount of time he was at home, he started to suspect his editor was going to suggest he takes trips back home more often.
He had also started playing that old CD in the background while working on his writing. At first he did it because he wanted something playing in the background. The CD had a few upbeat songs, but they were not too distracting. But the more he kept pressing “replay” on track 11, the more he could not deny it to himself that he had allowed his feelings for Hoseok to inspire the main character he was working on.
Yoongi was pretty adamant about not letting his life and the people in it become inspirations for his stories. He knew that a lot of his peers had no reservations about this, and it was quite common. But he personally preferred to draw inspiration from people watching or from random articles about average people doing this or that. It was best if he did not know anything about those people, as he could conjure the scenario he wanted to, without letting any prior knowledge behind the “muse” get in the way of his work. So writing about his own pent-up feelings for his best friend, somehow felt like a slight betrayal of his psyche.
…And I could go on and on, on and on
Lantern, burning
Flickered in the night, only you
But you were still gone, gone, gone…
“Oh, what the hell.” He just chuckled to himself as the lyrics whispered in the background. “If I am going to use my own pathetic life here, I may as well give him a happy ending, no?”
~~~~
“You know, I think I should go down there and pay my family a visit too.” Hoseok’s bright voice came from the other end of the line. “Besides, I have not seen you in almost two months! I have started to forget what your face looks like. It will be good to catch up and make sure you are staying out of trouble.”
“Hobah…I have chatted with you multiple times a week via text and phone. I highly doubt you need to catch up on anything”.
“Nonsense! I’m sure you are hiding all kinds of secrets and plans.”
“You are right. I forgot to tell you how I got arrested last week for writing profanities on a sidewalk”
“See? You go off my sight for a few weeks and become Korea’s number one delinquent! And at your old age too!”
Yoongi just sighed. He knew that once Hoseok got an idea in his head, there would be very little to dissuade him. So it was best to just accept it and help him plan his visit.
“How long will you be staying for?”
“Probably just a long weekend. We have our annual show in a few weeks and we have to start getting ready for those. I’ll probably dedicate one day to visit my family though, since I have not seen them since New Year.”
“That sounds perfect. You will be less likely to pester me and interrupt my writing if Jiwoo keeps you busy during your visit”. Yoongi heard Hoseok’s bright laugh at his sarcastic words.
“Speaking of which, how is your story going by the way?” inquired Hoseok.
Yoongi bit his bottom lip when he heard this question. Hoseok would always be one of the first people he would share plot ideas with and often times his best friend would request to read his manuscripts. This was not an unusual question to ask, but as the story kept developing more and more, he was feeling hesitant to share it with anyone. Maybe he could scratch the whole thing and pretend it got deleted off his hard drive? The idea seemed good until he realized he had already sent several copies to his editor.
“It’s was going well. But I may be hitting some writer’s block again so maybe I’ll put it on hold for a bit.”
“Really? It sounded like you made a lot of progress the last few weeks. Even Haneul-ssi was praising you for having so much content in such amount of time?”
“Yes well things change, you know how this can be.” Yoongi felt an uneasy feeling in his stomach and felt his throat go dry. He felt like a kid who was lying about eating candy before dinnertime, but he really did not want to continue talking about it. He tried to change the topic back to something a little more neutral. “So, what weekend will you be coming down to? I want to mark it on my calendar.” A soft knock came from outside his door. “Come in.” Yoongi replied while covering his phone’s speaker. Eunji walked in and almost retreated back when she realized her brother was on the phone. Yoongi just motioned for her to come in further.
“Well, let’s see, it’s already Wednesday, so probably not this weekend” Yoongi could hear the shuffling of pages, probably Hoseok looking at his planner. “But I’ll probably head over next week. Do a late Thursday to Sunday trip and heading back Sunday evening”.
“Sounds good. I’ll pick you up from the station that Thursday if you want. I do have to go now though. Eunji and I are going to the store.”
After a very lively farewell from his best friend, Yoongi put the phone away and turned to his sister, who was mindlessly playing with the rubix cube sitting on his dresser.
“Hobi may be coming next week.”
“Oh fun! Hopefully he will inject some life into you. You have aged like ten years since you came to visit. All you do is the same old boring routine!”
“My dear sister please do not criticize my writing methods.” Yoongi said sardonically as he was putting on a pair of socks.
“How is the story going by the way?”
“Oh please, not you as well. Hobi has been bugging me about it too. Been dodging his questions about when can he read what I have written so far.”
“Has he not read it yet? You usually value his opinion with your work.”
“It is a bit more complicated with this story.”
“Why?”
Yoongi said nothing. It was easier to avoid Hoseok’s questions on the phone. But when his sister was standing in front of him, asking why he had not let his friend read his progress, he was finding it much harder to come up with excuses.
“Min Yoongi? Hello?” his sister waved a hand in front of his face. “I asked you a question.”
“Do you want to read what I have written so far?”
Eunji was a bit taken back. “You have not asked me to read any work in progress in years. I usually have to wait for the final version…but sure.”
He was not sure why he asked Eunji all of sudden, but he supposed he needed to let his feelings be known one way or another before they would burst out of him.
“Great. I will forward it to you later.” He paused looking up at his sister. “Just do not tell me what you think about it.”
Eunji looked at him with a puzzled look. “Why? Is that not what most writers want to hear?”
“Not me.” Yoongi casually stated as he rushed outside the door before she could pester him with more questions he did not want to answer.
~~~
Before Yoongi could even begin to wonder how he would spend his free time with Hobi, his friend was back in their hometown. Yoongi hated to admit it, but he had missed him so very much. Although both men kept in touch pretty frequently during his stay in Daegu, it was different being physically around Hoseok, and witnessing the way his eyes would become crescents every time he did that big smile of his. It was easier to ignore the gestures when he was on the phone and he could only hear his voice. But it was impossible to look the other way when the object of his affection shone as bright as the sun, and just his mere presence in a room could make his stomach flip several times.
Being able to do the things he and Hoseok used to do together when they were teens, was certainly not helping his feelings remain in check. Visiting their old stomping grounds around town, going on a hike to Apsan park since Hoseok wanted to catch some fresh air and “be close to nature” when Yoongi knew he just wanted to take an aesthetic photo, going to eat at the old restaurant they used to frequent after school and which was now run by the old couple’s eldest son; all of these memories came rushing back with a new sense of yearning. It had been so long since Yoongi had experienced these things with Hoseok, and he was wondering why he was so adamant about visiting home before. Maybe next time he would not wait as long to visit his mom and sister and tag alongside his best friend whenever he came back to Daegu to visit his family.
But maybe he would skip on having dinner with his family and Hoseok in the near future. While it was nice seeing his family dote on Hoseok- as well as remind him multiple times how he always made a point of having dinner with them whenever he came to Daegu unlike Yoongi who had not come visit in years- he was not sure if being on edge the entire time was worth the experience. Eunji’s multiple side glances certainly communicated to Yoongi that she had put two and two together with regards to the draft she had read and seeing his interactions with Hoseok during dinner. As awkward as it was, he was at least thankful she had remained quiet and had not made any remarks to anyone.
Sunday came by too fast for Yoongi’s liking. He was not sure how he would manage once Hoseok returned back to Seoul, but he was already planning on returning soon. His mom’s leg was getting better and pretty soon she would be getting her cast off. He did not want to be an ingrate and take off as soon as his mother got freed from her cast, especially since it had been so long since he had been back home. But he was also missing life in Seoul and being in his own apartment.
“I’m so tired.” Hoseok said as he stretched his arms and back while sitting on Yoongi’s bed. The two were in his room, chatting before it was time for Hoseok to catch his train back to Seoul. Yoongi had promised to drive him back to the train station. “Probably not a good idea to go for the hardest hike the day before I have to sit on my butt for over two hours.”
“It was your fault for booking the cheaper train and trying to play the athletic influencer.” replied Yoongi from his desk, mindlessly scrolling on his phone. Hoseok just laughed as he threw a pillow his way.
“Don’t be so rude!. I have to maintain a certain image on Instagram.” At this Yoongi joined his friend in laughing.
“Hey! since I still have a couple of hours before we have to leave for the station, can I take a look at your manuscript?” Hoseok asked suddenly. “Eunji mentioned she had read it and that I should….”
Yoongi immediately panicked and interrupted Hoseok “What exactly did she say?”
Hoseok was a bit taken aback at Yoongi’s sudden abruptness. “Oh, nothing much, she just mentioned how you had been working on your novel all this time and she was looking forward to it being published…”
“Well, I do not think I will publish that one. I have been talking to Haneul-ssi and I think I will be focusing on a different storyline.” Yoongi’s heart was racing as he lied through his teeth. It was not a complete lie, as he really wanted to talk to his editor and scratch the entire project. But seeing as his novel was at about 60% completed, he was not sure his editor would let him abandon the story. So he had been ruminating on ways in which he could take the story in a different direction.
“Ok? Well, could you at least tell me what the story is about? You usually share….”
“Hoseok could you drop the subject? Why have you been so insistent about this novel from the get-go?” Yoongi was starting to feel annoyed. Like a cat being cornered against a wall.
“I just do not know why you had no problem with Eunji reading it, but you refuse to tell me anything about it? What big secret are you hiding?” Hoseok was trying to lift the awkward atmosphere by making a casual joke, but this only seemed to anger Yoongi even more.
“Have I done something wrong?” Hoseok pressed with a laugh. “Was I such a terrible critic last time?”
“Hobi enough! I just don’t want YOU to read this one.” Yoongi had not intended to raise his voice the way he did, but it was too late to take it back now.
An uncomfortable silence permeated the room. Hoseok’s smile had disappeared while Yoongi just continued to stare at his phone. He could feel his ears burning hot and he just wanted to disappear.
Hoseok was the first one to speak up. “No worries, I will not ask again.” He pushed himself off the bed and stands up. “I think I should probably get going though. I’ll just call for a taxi so you do not need to drive me.”
Yoongi panicked at his friend’s words, but he seems to be unable to move or say anything. He can tell Hoseok seems to be taking a while, just fidgeting with his bags and coat. Once he realizes Yoongi will not say or do anything to stop him, he calls for a taxi on his app. Neither of them say anything to one another as Hoseok leaves Yoongi’s room and closes his door.
~~~
An hour or so had passed when Yoongi heard a soft knock on his door.
Eunji’s head peeked through. “Hey there. Want to come to the store with me to pick up ingredients for dinner?”
Yoongi was sitting on his bed, his back resting against the wall. A forlorn expression on his face as he looked at Eunji, still standing in the doorway.
“Hobi is heading back to Seoul soon. He has to be at work tomorrow. I was supposed to give him a ride back but we had a small argument.”
“Was it about your story? Did you tell him it was about him?”
Yoongi’s silence at her question was the only answer she needed to hear. She joined him on the bed and rested her head on his shoulder.
After a few minutes Yoongi faintly said. “I’m scared. What if I really mess up?”
Eunji emitted a low hum for a few seconds before responding. “That is always a possibility yes. You never know what issues the two of you may have in the future. There is always the possibility you two may breakup. However, that should not be a reason to stop you from going for it.”
“The way I see it, every single relationship has its risks. Platonic, romantic, even coworkers. Things may always go sour at one point, or you may grow apart for whatever reason. But do you really think about those things when you go and befriend someone new? Or when you start a project at work? Or even when you go on a first date with someone new. Most likely you do not. You just take it one day at a time and live in the moment.”
“But I also have more to lose if Hobi and I were to go our separate ways.” Interjected Yoongi.
“Right…but I think the two of you have such a strong foundation as friends that even if things were to not work out romantically, he would not disappear from your life.”
Yoongi does not say anything. He just looks at his sister.
“I know you are scared.” Eunji says warmly. “But I also think you are letting your fears get in the way. What if you are cheating yourself out of something great?”
“I should go try to talk to him before he leaves huh?”
“So, what are you doing still here?” Eunji asked him teasingly as she flicked his forehead. “I can’t believe you are going to let your man go without at least putting on a fight. I thought you were better than that Min Yoongi.”
“Have I told you how much I dislike your condescending attitude?” Yoongi asked his sister as he playfully threw a pillow at her. “I’ll go now.”
“You know where my car keys are!” Yoongi heard his sister scream from his room.
~~~
Yoongi started looking frantically around the train platform. He spotted Hoseok leaning against one of the columns on the platform, scrolling down his phone and waiting for the train doors to open up. “Hobi!” He called out, unable to stop himself.
Startled and confused, Hoseok looked up from his phone, only to see Yoongi rushing towards him.
“Oh good. I have not missed you yet.” said Yoongi in between wheezes as he was trying to catch his breath. “I did not want you to go back to Seoul without first talking to you”.
Yoongi felt he would probably feel less hesitant if his friend would at least say something about his sudden arrival instead of just staring blankly at him. But he supposed he had no room to complain after how things had transpired just a few hours earlier. He really could not blame Hoseok for being less than enthusiastic about seeing him there.
“I’m sorry. I raised my voice earlier. I was just flustered. Of course, it should not be an excuse for how I reacted, but I was scared. I’m really sorry.”
Hoseok just smiled. “It’s ok. I should not have pushed you so much for it. You have made it clear you did not want to talk about it every time I asked you on the phone. I guess I just wanted confirmation.”
“What do you mean? Did Eunji say anything?”
“Your sister did not exactly tell me what the story was about. She alluded that it was a personal matter and a way for you to work through some personal feelings.” Hoseok looked at Yoongi straight into his eyes. Yoongi always had a hard time meeting someone’s gaze, but he was unable to look anywhere else at this moment. “But I have a feeling I know what this may be about.”
Yoongi’s palms felt really sweaty. He felt as if all the oxygen had been knocked out of his lungs.
“You are not exactly a subtle one Min Yoongi. You have been acting awkward around me since we went to Hwagae. I was trying to give you space and time for you to realize things on your own, but I am growing impatient.”
Yoongi felt as if someone had suddenly thrown a bucket of cold water on him. If he felt sweaty and uncomfortable a few minutes earlier, Hoseok’s words sent a shiver down his spine. His best friend did not say anything else. He just stood there waiting for Yoongi to communicate anything.
After what seemed like hours, Yoongi finally had the courage to ask. “Impatient about what?”
Hoseok just gave him an exasperated look. “Impatient about you being honest with your feelings and finally communicating them. But it seemed as if you were only retreating more into your shell. You know, for being a writer you sure lack the ability to communicate properly.”
Somehow this eased up the tension between the two men. Yoongi just laughed, took a step back, and took a deep breath.
“In my story, the main character falls in love with his childhood friend.” Yoongi finally said, unable to meet Hoseok’s eyes. “It is not exactly biographical, and that’s not the main or most interesting part of the plot either, as there are developments. But his love for his friend is based on my own unresolved feelings.
“I did not want you to read it because, while it’s not the main part of the storyline, a perceptive person would still be able to put two and two together. I did not want you to be weirded out if you are not able to feel the same way about me, and I did not want things to get awkward between us.”
Hoseok just laughed while taking a quick look at his watch. His train would be departing very soon. “And what exactly did you think would happen if you were to publish it? Buy every copy in the country so I would not read it?”
“Yes. Exactly that.” Yoongi replied in a sardonic tone, but his voice soon changed to an almost low whisper. “So why were you growing impatient with me? Other than my poor communication skills.”
Now it was Hoseok’s turn to look elsewhere but his friend. Yoongi could see the tip of his ears were turning red. “Because I have been dropping hints since Hwagae and I….”
A loud buzz coming from the train startled both of them. It was a last call signal indicating everyone had about two minutes before the train would depart. Yoongi and Hoseok just looked at one another.
“I should get going otherwise I’ll miss my train.” Hoseok said. He was hesitant to move, but eventually started walking towards his cart.
Yoongi did not want to hold any hope until he and Hoseok would have a proper talk when he returned back in Seoul. But all of sudden he remembered his sister’s words and found the courage he needed to ask.
“Jung Hoseok!” He yelled right as his friend was about to go inside his cart. “Will my character be ok if he goes ahead and confesses to the childhood friend?”
Hoseok suddenly dropped his bag and ran back towards Yoongi. His face got close to him as he whispered, “I think your character needs to go back to Seoul first, so said childhood friend can properly return the confession as well.” He planted a quick kiss on Yoongi’s left cheek and immediately rushed back towards the abandoned bag as he finally made his way inside the cart.
And with that, the last buzz indicating the train’s departure went off. Hoseok’s face no longer visible as the doors closed.
A bewildered Yoongi just stood on the station’s platform, watching the train depart. His hand resting on his cheek, touching the spot where he had been kissed. He stood there even after the train was no longer in sight. Only one thing occupying his mind.
It was time for him to return back to Seoul.