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Soulmates have always been something celebrated. Everyone glances down at the little clock on their wrist in hopes of seeing it approach 00:00:00:00. Jake looked at it practically every day after waking up. He'd look at it every time he entered a new city. Every time the band held a meet and greet. Every time one of the guys introduced him to someone new.
When Jinxx announced that the guys would be seeing his brothers band, Jake glanced down at his wrist. He asked when the show was and almost burst with happiness when he realized that the date lined up with his clock. He couldn't hold back his grin as he told the guys, who also began grinning. Jake was going to meet his soulmate soon.
Liam hated his clock. That stupid little clock on his wrist that stared at him, reminding him that someone was supposed to love him. It was covered by scars, tattoos, and fingerless gloves, but he knew it was there. His bandmates tried talking him out of covering it up but he was dead set on never having to see it again. The tattoo process had been painful. It was nearly impossible to find a good artist that would do it. Covering your clock was heavily frowned upon and even illegal in some places. Before he was old enough to legally get tattoos, he had basically tried to carve it out of his skin. He would leave deep slashes across it, hoping they would hide it. But those little numbers would just show back up on top of the scars.
When the band decided to hold a meet and greet at their final show of the tour, Liam's bandmates had all tried to subtly peek at his wrist. He didn't want to even think about it. Naomi, their drummer, had quietly asked him about it in the back of the bus. He sighed and rolled his glove down, holding his arm out to her. She squinted at it for a few minutes before glancing back up at Liam with a barely hidden smile. He knew what that meant. The dates lined up and he began planning how he was going to skip out on the meet and greet. But the fans would be upset, so he decided that he would go. He wasn't going to look at anyone's wrists. He wasn't going to acknowledge it if there was a surprised gasp or shout from someone. He was going to pretend like soulmates didn't exist.
The time eventually come for Jake and the others to pile into their cars and head to the venue. He felt like he was going to puke. The different possible scenarios started running through his mind on loop, playing out how it would happen. Jake kept pestering Jinxx, asking how long the show and meet and greet would be so he could guess where he would meet his soulmate.
The line outside the venue was long and the harsh wind made it seem longer, but Jake barely noticed through his excitement. He was buzzing with energy the whole time they stood outside. His hands shook as he showed his ticket to security. His legs felt like jello as they made their way up the stairs to the balcony. He still had a few hours left on his clock as they sat down, but they seemed to fly by.
The meet and greet had started after the show so the guys headed to the green room to wait. Jinxx gave an estimate of how long it would take for his brother's band to start heading their way, and Jake realized that his soulmate was very likely to be one of the members. He pulled Jinxx aside and filled him in before asking which members had already met their soulmates. 3 out of 6 of them had. Two of them were each other's, and the other had his soulmate with him. Jasper, Ashley, and Zach. Those were the three he didn't have to worry about. But that meant that his soulmate could possibly be Jinxx's brother.
Jinxx seemed to realize the same thing because his face suddenly dropped and he looked like he was trying to remember something. He looked back up at Jake and pulled out his phone, shooting a text to Naomi to see if she knew how long was left on Liam's clock. A few minutes went by and then a ding came from his phone. 7 minutes. Jinxx snatched Jakes hand up to his face. 7 minutes.
Jinxx and Jake waited restlessly. Jake was standing, sitting, pacing, and doing anything he could to keep himself busy. Jinxx sat on the couch completely still. He was running the different possibilities through his mind, planning how he would talk Liam through the panic he would inevitably feel.
The door swung open as Jasper strolled in, the rest of the band following. Liam was the last to enter. He avoided everyones eyes, quickly making his way over to Jinxx on the couch.
"Tell me this is some stupid fucking joke that you and Naomi are playing on me." A desperate look on his face betrayed the annoyed tone in Liam's voice. "Please just tell me it's not true."
Jinxx slowly raised himself from the couch while shooting a look at Jake that told him to stay where he was. He pulled Liam into a hug because it's all he could do. He had no idea why Liam felt the way he did, why he hated soulmates so much. Nobody knew, Liam would never give a straight answer.
"Lee, I know you don't want to hear this, but-"
"Don't. I'm not gonna give it a shot. I don't fucking deserve to." The waver in Liam's voice broke Jinxx's heart. Nobody wants to hear their sibling sound so defeated. Looking over Liam's shoulder, he spotted Jake who looked worried. Liam would hate him for it, but Jinxx decided that it had to happen. So he waved Jake over while pulling away from the hug.
"Um- I'm... I'm Jake." Liam could barely meet his eyes. He stared at Jake's clock instead. The clock that hit zero as he spoke to Liam. It seemed unreal. Liam never thought it would happen, he never thought he would actually meet his soulmate.
Jake smiled softly at the boy in front of him in hopes of calming his nerves a bit. It didn't seem to work, though, because Liam slowly backed away before speeding back out the door of the green room. Jake watched Jinxx follow him and considered following as well, but a hand on his forearm stopped him. He turned to find Naomi looking at him with a sad smile.
"We should talk. There's some stuff you need to know." She led Jake out into the hall where they could talk privately. "Liam... he's been through a lot. He thinks he doesn't deserve love, and for a while he thought it was impossible for him to have a soulmate. You probably noticed the tattoos and gloves. He's tried to ignore his clock since we were kids. It has nothing to do with you, he's just panicking. Im sure he'll come around eventually, but i cant promise it'll be soon."
Jake took a moment to process everything. Why would anyone feel like they don't deserve to be loved? It made him feel sad for Liam, but it also made him angry at who or whatever made him feel that way.
He nodded at Naomi and walked back into the green room. He decided to wait for Liam. He was going wait for as long as it took. He would wait until Liam could accept himself. Jake was going to wait for Liam's permission to love him.
Everyone headed back to the tour bus to drink and catch up. Liam hadn't gone back to the green room and instead went on a walk around the venue until it was time to go back to the bus. He was trying to delay the inevitable, trying to avoid having to see Jake.
He eventually forced himself to begin walking back to the bus. Someone was leaned against the bus staring at their phone with a cigarette in hand. Liam let out a small breath of relief as he recognized Naomi's short stature.
She held the cig out for Liam who gladly accepted it. "Hey. So about J-"
"Don't. I'm just gonna do a couple shots and pretend like its a normal after party." Liam took a long drag of the cigarette and watched to smoke float up in the wind. He knew he should be happy. Thrilled, even. But instead, he felt like puking. Why the hell did he have a soulmate? He certainly didn’t deserve to have one.
Naomi softly placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to slow the overthinking. Liam snuffed the cigarette then turned to his best friend. She grabbed his hand and opened to door to the bus. The few steps onto it felt like torture. All eyes turned to them.
Jake gave another one of those stupid smiles and, suddenly, Liam didn’t totally feel like shit. Sure, he still wanted to cry and rip his own skin off, but everything wasn’t awful. Despite all that he didn’t smile back. He just snatched up a bottle of liquor and fled to the back of the bus. Nobody followed. They all knew he needed space.
Nobody expected to see Liam for the rest of the night, but he eventually sauntered back into the front of the bus with the half empty bottle of vodka in his hand. He dropped onto the couch next to Jinxx and slumped into his lap. Jinxx stared back down at his brother who, frankly, looked like shit.
“Did you just drink all that vodka straight?“ The only answer Jinxx got was a slight mumble.
Liam suddenly shot up and out of his seat. He grabbed Jake by the wrist and marched back to his spot in the back of the bus. Jake stumbled behind him with the smallest, most confused smile ever. It was weird but he wasn’t gonna question it if it meant Liam was acknowledging his existence.
Liam turned and slammed the door of the back lounge shut but he didn't turn back to Jake. He just faced the wall and sighed. Jake's mind was racing a million miles an hour as he waited for Liam to say something. Nothing. Tension hung heavy in the air and the silence began to feel suffocating.
"Sorry for freaking out on you." Liam spoke quietly as he turned and leaned his back against the door. "And sorry for avoiding you. And sorry for being... me, I guess."
"You're sorry for being you? Why?" A long sighed followed by a long swig of vodka is the answer Jake got. Liam dropped onto the couch that was in the lounge, splayed on on his back.
"I'm just sorry that I didn't react normal. Like, I barely acknowledged you and didn't speak to you at all. And then I hid back here and got drunk instead of just talking to you." A slight waver in his voice betrayed Liam's attempts to seem casual. His eyes watered and he felt stupid. All those years of hating himself and his clock lead up to this.
Drunkenly apologizing to his soulmate was not what Liam wanted to be doing on a Saturday night.
"You don't have to be sorry. I'm not upset with you at all. Everyone handles things differently. I just want you to be happy. That's all I want."
While Jake was talking, Liam had stood and made his way over to him. He threw himself at Jake and wrapped his arms around his middle.
Drunkenly sobbing into his soulmate's chest was not what Liam wanted to be doing on a Saturday night.
A hand softly ran through his hair as he cried. All those years of frustration and sadness were being unleashed. Arms wrapped around him and Liam felt okay. He felt warm and safe. For once, he was comfortable.
Jake's quiet mumbles of comfort slowed Liam's breathing down, and the tears began to stop. Soon they were just standing there, wrapped in each others arms and swaying side to side.
Jake led him over to the couch where they sat down without releasing from the hug. Liam tucked himself into Jake's side and laid his head on his chest. He rubbed at his eyes and looked up at Jake.
"Thank you," He whispered, softly kissing Jake's cheek.