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A sound echoed from the bathroom– something that reminded Darius of making up excuses to stay late at a friend’s house after a particularly wild party. Only, the only ones in the house were him and Hunter. The sound of retching and gagging made Darius squirm.
“Oh, get over it. You’re practically an adult. Besides, you’re a boy, you’re supposed to be fine with messy. ”
He wrinkled his nose at his dad’s voice echoing in his head.
Then, a soft– barely audible– whimper came from the bathroom, and every bit of repulsion in Darius got replaced with worry. Hunter could be sick, he needed to help him. Though, it hurt that he hadn’t gone to him when he started feeling ill. Thinking back, he ate dinner just fine. He sighed, shaking his head, then knocked quietly on the door.
“Hunter, are you okay?” he asked, keeping his tone gentle.
A minute passed before Hunter said anything, and finally, he muttered a quiet yes.
Hunter still needed a push sometimes. A gentle nudge– one that Darius typically shied away from because Hunter had never been given space. Every little thing he did needed to be paired with a reason. But, this was one of the times when Darius knew he needed to push him, because he could be in danger.
So, he took a deep breath and let it out. “May I come in?”
Silence, again. This time, there weren’t any words spoken, just the silent gesture of Hunter opening the bathroom door. He looked so sickeningly small, standing there. Especially with his body tense. Darius gave him a soft smile, and despite every voice in him screaming to not touch him, he rubbed one of Hunter’s arms (not his shoulder, he learned not to touch his shoulder).
Then, Darius took a closer look at his face. The scarily dark eye bags slowly but surely were clearing, but the whites of his eyes had turned slightly red, matching the almost red color of his irises. Two possibilities came into his mind, and his brain only wanted to accept one.
Please… please tell me he was just crying. Don’t tell me he was–
Hunter weakly smiled at Darius, then backed away. He slid down the wall and sat on the floor of the bathroom, staring up at the ceiling. He hadn’t flushed the toilet, but the lid was at least shut, so that wasn’t something Darius needed to deal with at the moment.
“Do you feel sick?” Darius sat down beside him, putting his hand in a position where Hunter would know it’s okay to take it, but he didn’t have to.
He shook his head. “No…”
Oh… Titan. Darius swallowed, trying to build up courage to ask a difficult question.
“Hunter… were you forcing yourself to throw up?”
After a beat of silence, Hunter nodded. He didn’t take Darius’s hand, instead fiddling with his gloves. The gloves Darius insisted he didn’t have to wear around the house, but when Hunter tried to take them off they both visibly winced. He pulled them on tight, looking at them as if they were the most interesting thing in the world.
Darius chewed his lip, trying to think of how to proceed. “May I ask why…?”
Then, Hunter said the first string of words he had in a while, and it shattered something in Darius. “Didn’t deserve it.”
A wave of panic washed over Darius as he frantically tried to think of what to do. Titan– he wasn’t good at this? Eda was, Raine even was, but him? He was just the kid that had a freakout over getting some mud tossed his way. He couldn’t ever even think of having a kid around. He wasn’t good with words– wasn’t good with cleaning up messes, both physical, and emotional.
“You do deserve it.” Darius stated strongly. “Titan, kid– you need it.” He sighed, starting to fiddle a bit with his gloves too. “You don’t have to earn anything here– do I make you feel like you need to earn it?”
Hunter seemed to formulate a response in his head, then finally took Darius’s hand, despite it moving from its original position. “B-Back in the castle– everything was a privilege. I had to work for everything and I just– I don’t know how to live without feeling like I’m earning it.” He rhythmically tapped his fingers on the cold tile with his free hand. “There were always three sort-of-stages, I figured out. The first one was my position. Then, basic needs– sleep, food, even water sometimes. Then, affection.”
Darius nodded along slowly, feeling himself get choked up at hearing this. There were so many things wrong with what he said. His position being higher than the bare necessities, having to earn all of those things ever since he was little, and having to learn that system were just a few of the awful things.
Hunter continued, seeing that Darius was fully engaged in listening. “Then, I came here– and I suddenly just had it all , and I didn’t have to do a damn thing. I felt like I should be happy, or I should be relieved, but all I felt was this overwhelming guilt saying that I didn’t deserve any of this.” He let out a weak and pained laugh. “I even debated running away at one point, just because I think I’m so much of a burden that you’d rather that I disappear than have to deal with me eating food from your pantry.”
Darius started to say something as he felt his stomach twist, but Hunter quickly interrupted him. “--and I know you’re not Belos. I just… I can’t rewire myself for this.”
Darius spent a moment in thought. “What if I made you a chore list?” he considered. “I wouldn’t put anything harsh on it, just stuff like doing the dishes, and we can have little sets of things due before a meal time.”
Hunter looked at him with sad, but hopeful eyes, and he nodded. “I think I’d like that.”
Darius smiled. “Good. Just know that there’s no punishment for not doing them, and if you can’t or don’t want to do something, just tell me, alright? I don’t want to force you to do stuff you don’t want to do.”
Hunter nodded, then wrapped Darius into a tight hug.
“Thank you…” he murmured, clinging onto him.
Darius let out a soft laugh, then squeezed him back. “It’s no problem, Little Prince.”