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If there is one thing Jimin is certain of is the fact that seventeen is a strange age. You are not an adult, you can’t even drink, and if you are lucky enough your parents will get you a car and let you drive around only until the sun is setting. But, you certainly are not a kid either.
At seventeen you feel on top of the world and if somebody asks every possible question you would swear you know them all and an extra one – just in case.
Jimin wishes he could freeze the time right now and be this old, careless and wild forever. Especially when the sun hits on Jungkook’s back, making it look tanned and beautiful as he dives into the lake. Jimin’s favorite part of the summer is getting to see Jungkook so often the days feel like they don’t really pass but also like he is running through them all.
They have been dancing around each other since they turned fourteen and hormones took a toll on them. Jimin was quick to recognize he didn’t like anybody else but Jungkook and his tender manners, chubby cheeks and bright smile. It was easy telling his mom about it, too. So, now Jimin is seventeen, horny and very much in love with his best friend.
In his wildest midnight dreams, he makes himself believe Jungkook feels the same way about him, maybe he wants to hold his hand and make out until they feel silly and their lips are red. Maybe until one of them pops an embarrassing boner and there will be nothing to do about it other than awkwardly try to hide it without freaking the other one out. Some lazy smiles and a lot of stargazing behind their parents’ backs on a school night. That is what Jimin wants more than anything in this world.
Still, when the morning hits he goes back to be the friend Jungkook can’t live without, the one that opens his door every day, greets him with a hug and compliments his outfit to boost his confidence. He goes back to being that friend Jungkook hugs tight and allows to use his favorite blanket. Always telling himself these gestures are just Jungkook being a sweet person.
It is not that Jimin doesn’t understand feelings or believes himself to be someone not worthy of Jungkook’s romantic love because it could be but he doesn’t want to be the first one to cross that bridge. The fall would hurt too much and he is not in for a heartbreak.
Jimin is forced to come back to his senses when he hears a loud splash on the water and in a second Jungkook is complaining because Jimin missed his flawless dive. He has to muster the will not to let the foolish smile creep all over his face.
“What were you even looking at if it was not my perfect dive?” he says as he hits the water, splashing some on Jimin in the process.
Being only human Jimin laughs, endeared to the core. “I was just thinking, brat,” Jungkook mocks him and gets out of the water, shaking his head to get the extra water out.
He walks up to Jimin and extends his hand to him. The hand Jimin takes without second guessing because to be frank he would follow Jungkook anywhere. Still, he raises an eyebrow at him to get an answer to whatever he is asking. Jungkook is the only one who could understand. “Want to walk to the beach? The breeze at the rocks at this time is phenomenal, I love it,” his smile of excitement is always contagious and so they walk there hand in hand for God knows how long. Jimin tries to pretend he doesn’t notice like he always does. It’s usually easier that way, but the warmth Jungkook’s hand provides is undeniably stronger than any heat summer could bring along.
Once they arrive, they make it to the spot Jungkook swears is the best one, always watching their steps and occasionally helping the other out.
“How do you even know that?” Jimin bickers a little once they’re sitting on what feels like the highest and biggest rock. He stares at his friend, who is now trying to find little rocks on the floor.
He shrugs, “sometimes I come here when my dad is gone for weeks for work.”
Jungkook’s dad works in a fishing boat and sometimes he doesn’t return for long periods of time so, Jimin is surprised he did not know this until now. The fear of being an unsupportive friend and not being there for Jungkook when he needs him sends Jimin’s heart into a frenzy.
His surprise is evident because their eyes meet for a second and Jungkook stops what he is doing to speak to him directly, “I keep it to myself because I don’t wanna bother you, it’s okay, “ he smiles. “I’m okay, I swear, I just need it sometimes Min.”
Jimin believes him because how could he not? However, he asks, “Promise?”
Jungkook throws his head back laughing, the ghost of a smile on his lips when he nods, “I promise.”
His attention goes back to the little pebbles he has collected and he speaks again, “Now that I told you something that is going on with me that you didn’t know you need to share something as well, it’s the law.” Jimin raises an eyebrow, chuckling.
“I’m an open book,” Jimin replies, “You know everything.”
Except one thing, he thinks to himself.
Jungkook is trying to skip rocks in the ocean and shakes his head. “There has to be something, there is always something,” he grunts when the rock sinks without skipping, “like what is in your head right now?”
Jimin knows he could never tell Jungkook. He is too scared to do so.
“I don’t know Koo, lately the only thing on my mind is how my parents are getting divorced soon and I have to choose who I’m staying with,” he partially lies. Partially because even though it is somehow the truth, it’s not the secret he is dearly keeping from his best friend. “I wish I could make them love each other again.” He finishes. That is one of his heart’s greatest desires so, he shares it to honor what Jungkook wanted to get from him to begin with.
Jungkook nods and looks at him for a second just to advert his look right away. He does that whenever he doesn’t want to be overbearing. A lovely act of compassion.
“You can’t make anyone love anyone and that is something you can’t change,” he starts. “Love blooms, grows and changes overtime. There is not much we can do except feeling it because some things we really can’t control, like the way others feel.” The words fall with ease from his lips. Jimin recognizes he seems to be speaking from experience and his heart wavers in his chest.
Silence follows through. They are both quietly staring at the ocean. Jimin takes in the words that were just said until Jungkook chuckles dismissively to lighten up the sudden somber mood. “I honestly believe that if you attempt to do so you’ll fail miserably every time and will grow old singing blues and unhappy until the end of times,” he takes the back of his hand to his forehead with a dramatic sigh and it does the trick because Jimin smiles.
“You’re such a dork,” is all he says.
“I meant everything I said though,” Jungkook finishes, throwing another rock into the ocean.
Summertime means Jimin has more free time to do nothing like they are doing right now, so it makes his feelings for his best friend cry in his chest to be freed.
Summertime also means it gets dark later so when the orange reflection of the sun shines now on Jungkook’s cheeks he realizes they must be close to dinner time. His mom made lasagna today and when he tells his friend he gets so excited he immediately grabs Jimin’s hand for a second time today to run back home. Everything can wait unless it is lasagna.
-
There’s nothing out of the ordinary during dinner besides Jungkook’s remarks of how delicious Jimin’s mom cooks and how he has always loved eating with them — even though it’s only Jimin and his mom this time around but it’s nice of him to say it nevertheless.
When the clock hits nine, Jimin accompanies Jungkook to the door so he can go back home. It’s late and his mother must be waiting for him. They walk in silence and once Jungkook steps foot outside he speaks again.
“How about we go to a party tonight?” He whispers, making sure nobody else hears.
Jimin laughs and shakes his head, “If our families find out they will never let us out late again,” he reasons.
“That is if they find out,” he says in an appealingly irreverent way.
They look each other in the eye for a few seconds until Jimin sighs in defeat and Jungkook does a little dance, symbol of his victory.
“Get dressed as eccentric as possible. I’ll pick you up in a couple of hours,” He gives Jimin instructions of everything he has to do and all he can think of is how he is going to be dead at the end of the night because there is no way his mom will not realize he is gone.
So, he tells Jungkook he hates him for good measure – never meaning it as well – and heads back inside to try to make sure his mom believes him when he says he feels sick and will go to sleep early. Two hours and a half later the deed is done and Jimin is looking at himself in the mirror, wondering why he agreed to such a thing but it’s too late already and it becomes obvious when Jungkook knocks on the glass of the window.
Years of being friends could never prepare Jimin for the sight that is Jungkook in a suit, with his hair back and a watch so expensive-looking on his wrist he automatically knows it can’t be his.
He looks hot and Jimin knows in an instant that this night might really end with him dead because if it is not his mom, it will be his best friend looking like that.
Jungkook speaks first, “Woah, Min,” he says looking at Jimin up and down, making him feel exposed but also making his toes curl for attention. “You look extremely handsome right now,” he completes his sentence with an expression so serious Jimin has to take a deep breath before uttering a word.
“You look so nice too, look at the hair!” Jimin laughs, mostly to try and hide his embarrassment but at this point anything will do.
With a little head movement his friend tells Jimin to follow him – not without thanking him for the compliment and making known the fact that he borrowed the watch from his uncle’s house. Typical Jungkook.
Despite Jimin’s recurring tries to get out of him where they are heading to, Jungkook’s confidentiality doesn’t falter for a second. They are driving Jungkook’s mom’s truck – also borrowed – all the way to the other side of the city. It’s a 30 minutes drive according to Jungkook and they both laugh because this is the craziest, most reckless thing they have ever done. And they have done their fair share of reckless acts. Still, with the windows down and Radiohead on the stereo Jimin doesn’t really care if their parents find out and they’re grounded for the rest of their lives. It will be entirely worth it, especially with Jungkook’s eyes facing the road as he shouts the lyrics to the songs from the top of his lungs and with the moon watching over them. At that moment nothing else matters. It’s just them and the road ahead.
They talk about the new music that’s coming out soon and how Mr. Evans from the convenience store is putting up a promotion to buy cds next month. It all is so interesting that Jimin is completely engaged until he looks around and realizes the big yacht and how the broadwalk is all lit up in a way that is completely different to what Jimin is used to.
Jimin has been here, he knows this place all too well.
This is where he met Jungkook.
“What are we doing here?” he questions looking at Jungkook’ side profile. His friend chuckles, probably because of Jimin’s suspicious tone and then he shrugs.
“So this morning when we went to the beach I overheard these guys talking about this super fancy party at the yacht,” he starts and as soon as he does Jimin mentally facepalm himself. “And when I say fancy I mean there’s going to be super rich people coming like dukes and people from a lot of places so I assumed it would be here because where else, right?”
The look he gives Jimin makes him laugh out loud, shaking his head as the laugh wears off. “Jeon Jungkook, did you just bring me to a party we are not even invited to?”
Incredulity. That would be the word to describe the state Jimin is in right now but, it doesn’t go past that because he can see the appeal in the situation. Not like he is going to tell that to Jungkook ever though.
“What if I did?” he says utterly shamelessly.
If that is not enough – which apparently isn't – Jungkook shares his plan to get in with Jimin. An astonished Jimin. He seriously considers the possibility of his friend having gone insane, but after a lot of convincing and bribing, Jimin is walking alongside Jungkook ready to go through that door pretending to be a Duke and a Prince. Far cousins of the host, nonetheless.
To their surprise there isn’t a list despite being a high profile party and they are not asked any further questions after they falsely identify themselves. A volcano of giggles erupts from Jimin’s chest when they enter the yacht and Jungkook tags along, both in somewhat shock because of the absurdity of the situation.
Right where they stand they stare at everyone, flabbergasted with all the people with their extravagant attires. All of them dressed to the nines. A song Jimin can’t quite put a name on but that he recognizes plays on the enormous speakers and the setting makes him wanna move his body to the melody until he doesn’t remember where they are or what they’re doing. And so, they dance.
At some point Jungkook chirps, “Oh my! What a marvelous tune!” and they burst into laughter, dancing to the new song the same way they were dancing to the previous one. Jimin can’t even tell for how long they’ve been there trying everything the caterers offer and on the dance floor. All he knows is that Jungkook talks crazy the entire time like he was the one drinking champagne and not Jimin, and that he moves his body like he is made of water, right to the beat of every song leaving Jimin feeling dizzy.
Putting one and one together Jimin isn’t sure if it’s really the way he moves or the two glasses of alcohol in his body but he starts daydreaming right in the middle of the dancefloor. He daydreams about Jungkook feeling the same because of the hand that sometimes lands on his waist or about the kids they could raise together in the future when Jungkook talks about his dreams with stars in his eyes.
In that moment Jimin thinks the feeling is bigger than himself and that makes him take a step back. Jungkook raises an eyebrow, “Are you okay?” he asks and when Jimin nods he tries to get closer to him to make sure he is indeed okay.
Jimin takes a deep breath, understanding words are what he needs right now, “I am, I just need to breathe some fresh air.”
So, taking Jimin’s hand in his for the third time that day — not like Jimin is counting —, Jungkook asks him if he is up for a walk and Jimin wants to puke for a moment cause that means they will go to the boardwalk. Too many memories for Jimin’s underage and with-two-glasses-of-champagne mind, especially if Jungkook’s hand is holding him with such caution, delicacy.
Most of the walk is quiet. Jimin can’t put a finger on why Jungkook goes quiet so suddenly as soon as they start walking but he would be lying if he says he is not grateful.
He can feel his mind unclogging every step he takes and Jungkook’s hand on his now keeps him grounded instead of making him sick. The moon is high and bright, the Ferris wheel stands tall and the lit up path they’re walking on makes Jimin’s heart grow bigger in size. The setting feels magical and Jimin can’t even remember how many times he has let himself get carried away on the same day.
There must be something in the air but it may also be in Jungkook’s eyes. It may also be in his smile or the hands that offered support time and time today. It may also be his toned back or the way he danced like nobody else was in the room. It is a crazy day and it is making Jimin feel crazy too.
Crazy like right now when Jungkook is so smoothly intertwining their fingers as he looks everywhere else but into Jimin’s eyes. The eyes so desperately looking for his, the ones trying to find answers in the silence.
A silence that is broken without a warning.
“Can you see the starlight?” he asks in a nonchalant way but oh, so quietly. Almost in a whisper. “It’s so above all, everywhere,” he sighs. “Makes you dream impossible things because it makes you think you are invincible.”
Jimin is at a loss of words, he doesn’t understand why Jungkook says that all of a sudden. This is unlike him.
“Don’t you see the starlight, Min?”
Warmth spreads suddenly all over Jimin’s body, making him smile. He looks up to the stars, hanging there looking so pretty, decorating the night sky so close to the moon. Burning so bright.
“I see it,” he replies, holding tightly onto Jungkook.
“Don’t you dream about impossible things sometimes, too?” he wonders, although this time his eyes meet Jimin’s. And they are shining, even burning. Without a doubt they are brighter than the stars and the Ferris wheel's colors reflect in them like a firework show knocking the air out of Jimin’s lungs.
He gasps for air and nods with all his might. Jungkook smiles and bites his bottom lip. Thumb caressing Jimin’s palm.
“I’ve had this crazy dream for years now,” he states, “it’s something I desperately want but don’t know if I’ll ever get.”
Having Jungkook say such a thing leaves Jimin thinking for a good moment. He wants to tell him he has a crazy dream too. Something he wants to share with him but has always been too scared to do.
Hesitantly, he stops on his feet and turns around to look at Jungkook —who is already looking at him— and takes a step closer.
Maybe it is the champagne or maybe it is a combination of everything. Perhaps it is his heart ultimately combusting and needing to let it all out.
“Today at the beach when you asked me to share something,” he starts, palms sweating and eyes watery. He feels exposed and wants to retreat but, for the first time in years, he feels confident to cross the bridge no matter what the consequence is. All because Jungkook feels like he is everywhere in his body and soul just like the stars in the sky tonight. “I had something else on my mind,” he chuckles. “You could say that it is my crazy and impossible dream that I have never shared with you.”
Right where their hands meet Jimin can feel Jungkook’s heart skip a beat, asking what it is and waiting with apparent calm. Jimin takes a moment to collect himself and gather his thoughts together.
“I am in love,” he confides, ready to bare his soul in front of Jungkook because really, who else would he do that for if it wasn’t for the guy with the galaxy in his eyes?
The reaction is immediate. Jungkook’s eyes go from the ground to Jimin’s in a second, trying to know everything before Jimin even says it. His pretty dimples appear on his face and his eyes smile in a tender way.
“Are you?” he whispers, getting a little closer to Jimin. Just a bit, so little Jimin wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t so tense right now.
And truth is, of all the answers he thought he would get this one didn’t cross his mind.
Still, he nods and this time it is his turn to look down. “I tried not to be for years, I did everything I could to erase all the romantic feelings but my heart is stubborn and so is my mind because all it does is remember,” he sighs.
Jungkook gasps for air, making Jimin look up at him again. His friend's eyes are watery and Jimin feels his chest get tight.
Screw everything he ever said, if he is going to get his heart broken it has to be right now and it has to be because of Jungkook.
There is no way Jungkook is holding onto his hand for dear life if he doesn’t feel the same. So, Jimin hopes. He is motivated by the way Jungkook’s eyes look hopeful as well.
“I realized it when I was fourteen and we went camping with your father. I stayed up all night just to watch over you because I was scared but didn’t want anything to happen to you,” carefully he allows his hand to move up to Jungkook’s heart, beating like it wants to rip out of his chest. “Truth is, if something ever happens to you I don’t know what I’d do because at this point I don’t think I can ever live without you Jungkook.”
He feels so relieved to finally be saying it all that there are a few tears coming down his face. Tears that Jungkook wipes away as soon as they come out, getting a little bit closer until he finally speaks again. “I need to know if i’m reading this all wrong Min,” he says with a shuddering breath.
Jimin shakes his head biting on his bottom lip, “I’ve been meaning to say this for a long time but I was always so scared of losing you,” he admits.
Jungkook takes a deep breath and against all odds, he laughs. He laughs so loud and hugs Jimin so tight he feels like he was never really hugged before.
When he breaks the hug he looks at Jimin with round and filled-with-infinity eyes. “Is it okay if I kiss you right this instant? I don’t think I can hold back anymore after so long,” he asks, leaving Jimin shocked.
Could this mean…?
Despite not having it completely figured out Jimin knows he craves a kiss by Jungkook more than he craves anything in the universe so he breaks the distance between them.
Jungkook’s lips are soft, just like his cheeks, his eyes and his hands. Soft like his soul or the way he whispers to Jimin to wake him up every time they have a sleepover.
Their kiss is everything and nothing. It’s fireworks in the sky and absolute silence at the same time. It’s like that place where the opposites crash. It feels right.
It feels true.
And Jimin knows. He knows Jungkook feels the same and this time it’s not because he lends him his blanket or because his hands find their way to his waist. Although maybe it is. Maybe it is because of that and because of every moment Jungkook holds his hand like his life depends on it or when he gives him the last nugget of the plate. It’s also because he sighs in the middle of the kiss and is eager to reciprocate. It’s because right now it’s obvious the feeling has always been there.
Jimin puts his forehead against Jungkook’s and breaks the kiss, looking right into Jungkook’s eyes.
If there is one thing Jimin is certain of is the fact that seventeen is a strange age. You are not an adult, but you love with such intensity you can physically feel it, you dream, hope, learn and decide to take the risk of a heartbreak just to find that one thing you’ve always been looking for. And you certainly are not a kid either.
At seventeen you feel on top of the world and if somebody tells you to wear your best suit and pretend to be a Prince at a party you tell them they’re crazy but you wear it anyway – just in case
.
Now, Jimin wishes he could freeze the time right now and be this young, careless and in love forever. Especially when Jungkook kisses him again and again telling him how much he has always wanted this or when he intertwines their fingers together, making the time feel like it doesn’t really pass but also like they’re running through it.
Jungkook willingly breaks the kiss for the first time, “oh, and just for the record, I’ve been deeply in love with you too since I can remember,” he laughs. “To be honest I don’t think there’s ever been a time when I wasn’t in love with you.”
And he kisses Jimin again.