Chapter Text
This was it. There was no going back. Was there even anything to go back to?
A short figure stood amongst the greens of the seemingly endless forest. Its dark clothes blended it in with the wilderness perfectly as it wandered through the foggy maze like a lost deer.
Where was the little buck going? Was it running from something? What was its name again?
Naib Subedar. Right, that was it. His name was Naib Subedar.
Naib shivered as he walked through the woods. His brain rang inside his skull and taking each step he took was getting heavier and heavier. The shotgun the runaway kept in his pocket was burning hot, it called for him frantically. Did he really need to go into the deepest part of the woods? Nobody would care if they found a foreigner's body in their homelands anyway. Nobody would remember him… nobody, but his mother…
Mom. She wept so much the day he left for the military. The tears streaming down her cheeks left her smile seeming so bitter. He would make their people so proud, she said, as her warm embrace wrapped around him. He felt so tiny, like a child in her arms. It was such a familiar and welcoming feeling, to be held and loved like he was small again. She didn't know that her beloved son would turn his knife on his own comrades. She didn't deserve to know. She didn't deserve a son like him.
That's why Naib couldn't afford to go back. After the war, he chose to stay stuck in England.
He made money with any job or small errands he could find. All interactions he could have with his only family were through badly-written letters he tried so hard to finish without tears falling on the papers and the little money he made monthly. Happiness, for him, was simply waking up to a letter with his real name on it sent by his mother and the warmth each letter gave him.
And she was gone.
A letter with a strange aura came to him on a Saturday morning. His mother's name wasn't written on the return address. The strange handwriting on the outside filled him with incredible sadness. He wasn’t even sure if he should open the envelope
His mother had passed away.
The writer of the letter, a neighbour in his village, said that she'd gone away peacefully in her sleep. They wanted him to know that his mother loved him so much and that she would always be proud of him.
His whole life shattered around him that day. Crimson hues haunted his dreams. The screams of his own people clawed at his back, pulled at his coat, and tried to pull him down into the depths of agony. He kept climbing back up to the surface, again and again, only to face his mother looking down at him. You’re a disgrace to the family, she whispered. He's failed everything he ever tried to protect. The excruciating sense of shame and guilt left his joints retracting on themselves and his limbs shaking uncontrollably. The pain ate away at his bones slowly every day. It was all too much to handle. Life for him felt worse than death.
Everything was ready for Naib to begin his plan. He'd already mailed all his money back to his hometown to pay for his mother's funeral. There was nothing for him to live for now, nothing left to lose, Naib told himself as he dragged his body along the forest's soft ground.
The breeze danced and twirled around him. Leaves and branches were whispering all at once, singing a sad song. A farewell tune. It truly was his time to go-
" Good evening, sir! What would a fine gentleman like you be doing here at such a time?" A booming voice rang through the air and shook Naib out of his thoughts. He turned to the source of the voice.
It was a man dressed in neat peanut-coloured hunting clothes. His dreadlocks were tied into a bun beneath his flat hat. Next to him was a crackling fire and laid-out baskets of food.
“Little lad?”
“Ah yes, good evening to you as well! I was just taking a stroll through the forest, you know. The scenery here is splendid, isn’t it?” Naib put on a forced smile and faced the other man, hiding the shotgun at his side. If I hadn’t seen you, I would’ve shot my brains out right here…
“I completely agree with you, little lad! The name’s Ellis, William Ellis. D’you want to join me for some tea?” The man smiled brightly.
“Oh- Well, of course! How could I refuse such a charming offer?” Naib made his way to William. He hesitated a bit before sitting down on a log opposite the other.
William set out two cups and poured some tea. He handed one to Naib, but the smaller one seemed to be lost in thoughts. “You’re a quiet one, aren’t you? That’s fine by me. Here, have some herbal tea. One of my close friends made it for me. A secret recipe.”
“No, I’m just wondering…” Naib took the cup from William’s hands and took a sip. It did miracles for his sore throat. “Mr. Ellis, may I ask why you are here? These woods are renowned for their missing persons cases. It’s easy to get lost, y’know”
William stilled for a second before chuckling. “You seem quite nosy for a lad ‘going for a walk’ at this time of day.” His voice suddenly fell to a graver pitch. William huffed and took a sip of his tea. “I've made a tradition to visit this place monthly. Those missing person cases, my best buddy, Gupta, was one of them. He went missing about 3 years ago. It’s cheesy, I know, but sometimes I feel like I’m still waiting for him to return…” The man said as he swayed his teacup slowly, eyes on the ground.
“I’m… I’m sorry to hear that…”
“It’s alright. Bad things happen to good people sometimes. We just have to learn how to overcome it.” William turned to Naib with a strange look he couldn’t understand. The tall man stood up a little to reach for Naib’s shoulders and gripped them lightly. “Life is precious. Remember to take care of yourself alright, little lad?”
“O- Of course. Thank you for your kind words, Mr. Ellis” Naib stuttered, taken aback by William’s words. Did he know what he was there for?
“Please, call me William. I have a feeling we’re going to be great friends”
Oh dear…
The two sat together in silence and enjoyed the tea afterward. Naib was sure it would be uncomfortable to spend time with William after his sudden outburst earlier, but the air around them remained jocular.
“Farewell to you, my friend! Let’s have a proper picnic in the forest next time we meet!” William let out a hearty laugh and slapped Naib on the back. The man then began his way out of the woods, his luggage making sounds like little wind chimes as he walked.
“Farewell to you too, Mr. William…” Naib breathed out a half-whisper. A spark of guilt ached in his chest. He was admittedly a little sorry to let such a friendly fella be the last person to witness Naib’s presence… But such insignificant feelings wouldn’t stop him from pursuing his plan. Guilt was something Naib was too familiar with anyway.
Letting his mind sink in dark thoughts once again, Naib swiftly jogged past the trees and deeper into the forest. He had to make sure he would end himself somewhere no unfortunate person could find his body. A cat always leaves its home to die, after all.
The sun was beginning to set, and waves of fog filled the forest floor like a show was about to start. The further Naib walked, the thicker the fog became. The scenery unfolded before his eyes like a fairytale. Tree branches twisted and turned into shapes he’d never seen before. Their leaves reached towards his face, tickling his cheeks, slowing him down greatly. It was as if the forest wanted him to go back. Back to being the empty vessel he was and waiting for his tasteless life to slowly end.
It grew darker and darker as Naib went. The last dying red light of sunset wasn’t guiding him through his paths so much as it was letting him know there was ground beneath his feet. No wonder why people went missing all the time.
And then the lights went out. Pitch blackness surrounded him. Naib could still slightly make out the way with his sharp eyesight. Why was he even continuing to walk? Wasn’t this already far enough? His legs felt like they were working on their own. His mind froze in time.
And… slip!
The little deer tripped on a tree root and fell over an equally black cliff ahead. Its pupils dilated as an ear-splitting scream ripped from inside its throat. Poof, it fell down. There was no sound at all. The world was drowned in silence as the earth watched in sorrow as another poor soul attempted to leave its home.
But it wasn’t the end. Someplace somewhere, a high-pitched call like an osprey emitted from the sky like a welcoming greeting.
Down the rabbit hole you go, little sika deer.