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Pran walked around the university he used to attend when he was still alive and kicking. It's what he's been doing since what feels like forever, because what else is there to do when you're a ghost? He can't eat or do anything else since he's incapable of touching things physically.
So he wanders and wanders.
He went behind the architecture building, to a place where students smoke or do things away from the eyes of their professors, especially away from the eyes of the headmaster.
While getting nearer, he can hear a loud commotion and without seeing it yet, he knows students are fighting again.
"Archi and Engineering for sure." He muttered to himself as he turn to the corner, and sure enough, red and blue are yet again tangled around each other. He look at all of them and noticed that three of them looks familiar, familiar because they're his friends!
Wai was being overpowered by an unfamiliar guy with a menacing look. Before he could think, Pran run towards where Wai is and kick the guy on his chest. He expected to just past through the guy, but to his surprise, the guy feel on the ground, air knocked out from his lungs.
Wai looked at the engineering leader in confusion. He was just about to punch Wai, but he was suddenly sent flying by an unknown force.
Or maybe this is a tactic or something? Wai thought.
The engineering leader clutch his chest before slowly standing up, he looked at the person who kicked him out of nowhere and their facial expression match as their eyes met.
"What the fuck?" They both said in unison.
A blow of whistle stopped all of them before they all ran in different directions. Korn noticed his friend not moving from his spot, so he ran back and pulled him, before the security could.
Pat ran, his head still turned towards Pran, who just stood there, looking back at him, an unreadable expression on his face.
---
"I can't believe you just let him kick you like that!" Korn exclaimed. They're now in their faculty building, resting on one of the bench tables in the main entrance. Korn and their other friends went on and on about the fight, but Pat couldn't pay attention to any of it. He's still thinking about the mysterious guy from earlier and how odd he looks in general. The guy looks so pale and for a second, he thought he could see through him, he couldn't confirm it since he was dragged away from there, but the guy gave him the creeps.
"Are you listening?" Pat look at his friends, looking at him with scowls on their faces.
"I need to use the toilet." He stood up and left without another word. He went inside the toilet and wash his face, before looking in the mirror.
Maybe the kick was really hard that it made me confuse for a second. He told himself.
He sigh and grab some napkins to dry his face before getting out of there. He promised his sister he would pick her up, so he doesn't have time to waste.
---
"I just kicked that guy." Pran said to himself. "I just physically kicked a living person." He paced back and forth as he try to wrapped his head around what just transpired earlier. He didn't imagine it, he was really abled to physically kicked a guy, he saw the guy fall down and was clearly in pain. The guy even look- "He just fucking looked at me! Wait, did he really? Maybe he's looking at Wai?" Pran started pacing again, thinking about all the possibilities but then stopped moving, yet again. The guy looked back at him when he was running away, Pran's eyes widen. "Is it possible?"
Of course not! His subconscious said. Right, of course not. Pran chuckles at the silly thought but then stop, again.
"One way to find out."
Pran went back inside the building and tried touching every person he saw, but as expected, his hand would just go through them.
"Yep, maybe that was just because I really desired to protect my friend." He said as he look down on his hand, a sad smile lacing on his lips.
He didn't know what happened to him and why he's now a ghost. The last thing he remembered, he was on his way home and everything just blackout after that. It came as a shock to him, but he got over it immediately, it’s not like it can change anything.
"I can't believe you really sent him flying!"
Pran look at his friends standing just at the foot of the stairs, two of them patting Wai's back.
"I didn't!" Wai exclaimed.
"He's being humble." Louis said, ruffling Wai's hair. "Well done. Ever since that guy appeared, we just kept on lossing the fight, but with the way you kicked him down, I'd say it's our win."
The guy is new? No wonder Pran didn't recognize him. Who is he?
"If only Pran is here." Safe said sadly. "For sure, he can take on that guy."
Wai hit him on the head. "We promise not to talk about him." The three of them look down solemnly. It must have been painful for them too.
If he was still alive, there’s no way Pran would step foot in their rival faculty that is the engineering, but being a ghost is an exception, no one will know except him. So, he confidently walks around the building, looking for a certain student, because he really needs to make sure what happened last week, was real.
Given the fact that it’s lunch time, he would guess he’ll find the guy in the cafeteria, and he was right. Their group is one of the loudest there is and they should be embarrassed. Can’t they see they’re disturbing other students? You really can’t expect decency from these brutes.
Pran approached their table and sit opposite the gang leader, who stiffened in his seat.
Pat noticed him in his peripheral vision, a sudden chill went down his spine. He look at Korn, hoping he’d react to the guy suddenly sitting next to him, but unfortunately, he just continued to blab about some nonsense, same with Chang and Mo, none of them noticed the stranger and that just made his suspicions true.
Pat tried not to look at Pran and the latter noticed that. He smirks and brush his hand against Pat, who jumped up from his seat.
‘I can really touch him!’ Pran happily thought.
“Dude, are you okay?” Korn asks in concern.
Pat stared back at Pran before looking at his friends. “Y-yeah. I’ll be right back.” He said and walked away. Pran immediately stood up and followed the guy.
---
“What are you?” Pat asks the moment they reach the rooftop. He look back at Pran and really stared at him, and sure enough, he can see through him.
“Are you asking because you really don’t know, or?” Pran walk past him and stood near the railings, looking at the entirety of their university.
“Why can I see you? And how are you able to touch me?” Pat stood not a distance from Pran.
Pran look at Pat. “That’s what I’d like to know too. Who exactly are you?”
Pat sigh. “Pat Jindapat, second year engineering student.” He thrusts his hand forward. “With the way you kicked me last week, it’s safe to guess you used to be an architect student?”
“Yes. Used to be.” Pran smiled sadly, and Pat wanted to smack himself right in the face. “Pran Siridechawat.”
“What happened to you?” Pat asks.
Pran shook his head. “I don’t know. I just woke up like this. For how long? I lost tracked of time.”
“Do you want me to help?” Pat offered. “I mean, a ghost can’t really do much, right?”
That made Pran laugh. “What’s this? You really offering me help, when you were so scared of me just a few minutes ago?”
“I wasn’t scared, just shocked.” Pat replied. “And you don’t look scary.”
“I just proved that horror movies are a joke, right?” They both laugh. Pran look up at the darkening sky. “Do you really want to help me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to. Besides, there must be a reason why I’m the only one who can see and touch you.” Pat shrug and look up at the sky too. Pran observe him and there’s something in Pat’s eyes, but he couldn’t pinpoint what it is exactly.
“Then I’ll gladly take your offer.” Pran said with determination. “Believe it or not, being a ghost is tiring.”
“Guessed as much.” Pat smiled. “Well, for now, I’m going back to my dorm and process all of this, then I’ll go talk to your friends. What about you?” Pran just shrug, he really doesn’t know. “Want to go with me?”
Pran scoff. “At least take me to dinner first.”
Pat frowned in confusion before breaking into a fit of laughter as he understood what Pran had said, Pran joined in. “What do you know, a ghost can flirt too.”
“That’s Wai, the one I saved from your punch.” Pran said. They’re currently standing next to the photocopy machine in the library, looking at Pran’s friends sitting at the far end table, studying, or more like, pretending to study. “The one next to him is Safe, and the guy sitting opposite them is Louis.”
“Wai, Safe, and Louis. Got it.” Pat spoke. As he approaches them, Safe was the first to notice him and elbowed Wai. Now, the three boys are looking at him with a glare.
“What do you want?” Wai asks angrily.
Pat raised both his hands. “I’m not here to cause trouble. There’s something I’d like to ask.”
They all frowned. “What is it?” Louis asks.
“Where’s Pran?” The moment Pran’s name left his mouth, the look on the friends faces change and it was enough to answer his question.
“Why do you know Pran?” Wai ask, now standing, and the rest followed.
“Does it matter? I just want to know where he is.” Pat shrugged.
“And you think we’d tell you just because you ask?” Wai scoff and gather his things. They look at Pat one last time before they walk away.
“He’s my friend!” Pat said, a little too loudly.
“If he’s your friend, then you wouldn’t ask us where he is.” Wai replied without sparing him a glance.
Pat bit his lower lip and tried to calm himself down. “Permission to kick his sorry ass.”
“Permission denied. You promised not to mess with them anymore.” Pran flick his forehead. “We knew this would happen, you really need to work on your temper.”
“You’re telling me that!?” Pat ask in bewilderment. “You, who slapped me just because I didn’t wake up in my first alarm? I just hit the snooze and it already triggered you.”
Ever since he invited Pran to his dorm, the ghost made it his home too, and ever since then, his life changed. Pran is a clean freak and since he can’t touch anything, he made sure Pat clean his dorm, from dusting every nook and cranny, to scrubbing his toilet bowl until it became spotless. He also noticed that Pran has a little bit of OCD and clearly follows a routine, a routine in which he also implemented on Pat, hence the slapped when he snoozed his alarm the other day for a five more minutes of sleep.
It drove him crazy the first week, but eventually got used to it now. His sister complimented him on keeping his place clean and tidy, in which of course he boasted on how he is a change man, with Pran on the kitchen counter, shaking his head. His professors also didn’t fail to comment on how he’s now always on time and to keep it up, and that just made his ego even bigger.
“Talk even louder, why don’t you?” Pran flick his forehead again. “You’re starting to gain attention Mr. President of the Engineering faculty.” Pran rolled his eyes and walk off.
Pat look around and smiled awkwardly at the woman who was looking at him weirdly before following Pran outside. “Your friends didn’t help us at all. What’s next?”
“We could go to my house.” Pran said silently, but Pat still heard it.
“Hey.” He pulled Pran under the staircase. “We don’t have to do this now, if you don’t want to.” He said and gave Pran a reassuring smile. Pran look at Pat’s eyes, the eyes that always gives him comfort without fail. He smiled back and nodded. “Tell you what, after class, why don’t we go see a movie?” Pat said. “Your favourite movie is now showing right?”
“Really? We can?” Pran asks excitedly.
Pat ruffled his hair. “Yes, we can.”
“Okay.”
---
“Your house is huge!” Pat exclaimed as he steps out from his car. He looked at Pran who was silent the whole ride and Pat understands why. They’ve held this off for a week and a half, with Pran always having cold feet. Cold feet. Pat can’t help but snort mentally, Pran has always been cold, being a ghost and all that.
“I know you’re making fun of me in your head, asshole.” Pran suddenly spoke. Pat’s eyes widen and it made Pran snort. “Let’s do this.”
Pat walk towards the gate and ring the bell.
Once.
Twice.
Three times, but still no answer. He looks at the house again and although the lights outside are on, he can’t say the same for the lights inside. “Maybe no one’s home.” He said and looked at his wristwatch: 19:30.
Pran sigh dejectedly, here he was, hoping he’d get to see his mom or dad, only for them not to be home. His mom used to be home before six to prepare dinner, while his dad would arrive at exactly half past six. That’s always the schedule, what changed?
Pat sat on the ground casually, making Pran frown. “What are you doing?”
“Sitting.”
“I know that smart ass, I meant why?”
“Isn’t it obvious? We’ll wait for them.” Pat replied, tapping the spot next to him. Pran smiled before sitting next to Pat, resting his head on the latter’s shoulder.
He’s thankful at the universe for letting him have Pat by his side.
Pran spent an hour just looking at Pat’s sleeping face, it became a habit of his to just stare at the boy who’s always there beside him. He stared and would sometimes softly run his fingers against Pat’s features, trying to memorise everything he can, because no matter how much he denies, a day will always come where he might just disappear forever, if that happens, then he wants to gather every memory he has with Pat to take with him.
He couldn’t help but wonder how their paths never cross back when he was still alive, and if it did, would they be in a similar situation right now?
Would Pat even bother giving him a second glance? Because Pran would, he’d give him all the glances he could give. He laughs as he thought about falling hopelessly in love with Pat, only for the latter to break his heart and then Pran would get so depressed and would curse Pat to the ends of the earth.
Pran wiped the unshed tears away and ran out of the dorm, he thought of leaving the building entirely, but his feet brought him to the rooftop instead.
Pat stirred from his sleep, noticing the familiar coldness that is usually beside him, missing. He rubs his sleepiness away and look around his room, he then searches his whole dorm and still no sight of Pran. He quickly grabs a shirt and put it on before leaving his room and went straight to the rooftop, Pran’s favourite spot.
Sure enough, Pran was there. His hands on the railings as he looks at the city lights, looking deep in thought.
“Pran.”
Pran flinch and look at Pat, unable to hide the fact that he was crying, and Pat immediately pulled him in for a hug. Pran wrapped his arms around Pat’s shoulder and let out a sob he’s been holding.
“Pran, what’s wrong?” Pat asks worriedly.
“I want to live.” Pran sob. “I want to go back to my body and live.” I want to be with you. Pran tightened his hold on Pat and cried even harder.
Pat is lost for words, and he knows, no matter what he says, it will only make Pran sadder. So, he stayed silent and just hug and let Pran cry. It breaks his heart to a million pieces seeing Pran like this, he hates it. He wants Pran to just smile and be happy every day, because a happy Pran is the prettiest Pran. The dimpled smile he gives Pat every day is what completes his day.
He knows Pran misses his family and friends, and he can’t imagine what it would be like because he’s not on his shoes. They went to Pran’s house multiple times, but without any luck, they never saw his parents, it’s as if the house was abandoned, but he never dared to say it out loud, he couldn’t.
Pat wants to say it’s going to be okay, but he knows it won’t. Not the kind of ‘okay’ they’d hope for, anyway.
So they just stood there and hug each other.
---
“Pran! Are you here?” Pat called the moment he steps into his dorm room. Pran’s head popped out from the bedroom with a raise brow. “Want to go to the beach with me?” Pat ask excitedly, grabbing a duffle bag and shove whatever clothes he could touch.
“Why are you in a hurry?” Pran asks curiously.
“We need to catch the last bus.” Pat replied. “So, you coming with?”
Pran chuckles. “Do you really have to ask?”
“Right. Let’s go.” Pat grabbed his keys before holding out his hand to Pran on which the latter gladly took.
---
The bus ride towards the village Pat’s uncle run, took more than three hours with all the traffic and stops the bus made, so they arrive later than planned.
“Uncle Tong! Your favourite nephew is here!” Pat yelled as they climb the stairs. They heard hurried footsteps coming towards them before a full view of a short middle-aged man came in to view with an exasperated look.
“You’re really here.” He spoke. “Your mother warned me you’d come here if not tonight then maybe tomorrow.” The old man sighs. He gave Pat a hug, his face lacing with worry. Why does he look worried? Pran thought. “Have you eaten?” Pat shook his head. “Okay, go and rest first, I’ll call you when food is ready.”
Pat nodded and thanked his uncle before proceeding to go inside one of the guest rooms, Pran just following silently.
“Why would your mother warn your uncle about you coming here?” Pran asks curiously.
Pat looked at Pran with yet another unreadable expression in his eyes, but he immediately blinks it away. “I may or may not have trashed this place once.”
Pran rolled his eyes. “Of course you did.”
---
After eating dinner with Uncle Tong, Pat grabbed four cans of bear and dragged Pran towards the seaside. The moon is in full bloom accompanied by a starry sky, they sat on the sand and stared at the vast ocean, Pat gulping a can of beer in one go.
“Pran.” Pat finally spoke. “What were your dreams?”
“I had a lot of dreams.” Pran replied. “I want to finish my studies with high grades, I want to travel and see just how big and beautiful the world is. I want to repay my parents and pamper them with everything because they deserve it.”
“How about falling in love?” Pran look at Pat, but the latter’s eyes are still glued to the ocean.
I’m falling in love right now. I’ve been falling for quite some time now, and you will never know. “Of course, that too.”
“What else?”
That’s about it really, but after meeting you, another dream was formed. I want to reach all my dreams with you. “I’ve already forgotten about the rest; I can no longer reach them anyway.”
Pat looks at Pran apologetically. “I’m sorry.”
Pran shakes his head. “Don’t be. I’ve already made peace with it. What about you? What are your dreams?”
“Used to have a lot too, but as I grew older, I just wanted to live my life in the present. We never really know what tomorrow brings or if we even have a tomorrow.” Pat chuckles. “So, I’m just going to do what I want to do today and worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes.”
They only stayed in the village for two days before going back to the city because it’s exam week and Pat can’t afford to miss it. But it’s still a disaster anyway, a disaster because the moment they got back, Pran disappeared. Pat looked for him everywhere, but Pran was nowhere to be found and it’s been three days now. He doesn’t know what to think, he doesn’t want to think of the worse case scenarios because he couldn’t handle with just the thoughts of every single one of it.
Pat tried to think of what had happened for Pran to just disappear, but nothing comes to mind. They were okay, in fact, they even cuddled to sleep the night prior. So, what happened?
“It’s finally over.” Mo said as he stretches his limbs.
“Should we go for a drink?” Korn smiled, wriggling his brows. Chang and Mo immediately agreed before they all look at Pat. He looks back at his friends and nodded, making them cheer.
They all decided to go home and change before meeting at the bar they frequent. When Pat got home, he was hoping to see Pran waiting for him like he usually does, but unfortunately, still no sign of the prettiest ghost with such a deep dimples.
---
“Where are you going?” Mo asks, when Pat stood up after finishing his third glass.
“Home. I don’t feel good.” He replied, placing the bill on the table.
“Want me to take you home?” Korn offered, but Pat just shook his head before waving at them.
He parked his car in front of the building before going inside. Instead of taking the elevator, he chooses to take the stairs towards his floor.
He lazily drops his keys aside and plopped down the couch, closing his eyes and just breathe.
“Did you go out drinking or something?” Pat stood up at light speed and look at Pran in surprise before that surprise turned into anger.
“Where the hell have you been!?” He yelled, taking Pran by surprise.
“Just somewhere. Why do you have to yell?” Pran scowled.
“How can I not when you just disappeared without saying a word? What the hell Pran?” Pat glared at him. How dare he disappear and then reappear as if nothing happened? As if he didn’t make Pat worried to death?
“I was only gone for three days.” Pran tried to shrug it off, but Pat plus alcohol in his system is not about to be shrug off.
“Is it hard to just tell me you’re going somewhere?” Pat asks. “You can’t just leave without saying a word and leave me to worry about you Pran.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m fine. I came back, didn’t I?”
“But what if you didn’t Pran? What then?” Pat rubbed his temples. “I would’ve been left here with wondering what had happened to you, I would’ve been left here regretting not telling you anything I wanted to say. Do you not worry about that? Is it just me?”
Pran swallowed the lump in his throat. “T-tell me what?”
“Pran, I care about you. A lot.” Pat steps closer. “Pran, I-I.” Pran slowly shakes his head and took a step back, he can’t do this. This is exactly why he disappeared for three days, he ran away from Pat, ran away with his feelings because he knows it’s impossible.
He shouldn’t have comeback.
With one last look, Pran bolted it out of there and ran up to the roof. He needs more time to think, to say goodbye to Pat, but just one look at the man and his tongue folded.
It took Pat full five minutes to realize what just happened before he followed Pran to a place he knows he always ran to. When he reached the rooftop, he saw Pran walk back and forth, not even noticing Pat approaching him.
“Pran.”
Pran look at Pat, troubled. “You can’t Pat.”
“I can’t what?” Pat asks.
“You can’t say whatever you want to say.” Pran shakes his head. “Please don’t.”
“Why can’t I say it Pran?”
Pran’s tears started falling and he just let them be. “Pat-“
“I love you.” Pat whispered, enough for them to hear. “I love you Pran.”
Pran covered his mouth and close his eyes as he sobs. He’d dreamt of this moment a thousand of times, wishing Pat would say those words to him and how he would say it back. But dreams and reality are so far off from each other, especially between them.
“This won’t work, and you know that!” He exclaimed.
“It will work if we make it work!” Pat threw back.
“Pat! I’m a ghost! Nothing but a ghost!” Pran cried out. “Don’t you see how weird that is!? We’re in a different world.”
“Why does it matter? I’m here, I can see, and touch you. You’re here and you can do the same.” Pat moves closer to Pran, and this time, Pran stayed. “Pran, not even once did I forget the fact that you’re a ghost, but I still choose to love you because I want to. There’s always a fear within me just thinking you might just disappear from my life forever, and that thought just pushed me to be with you even more.”
Pat leaned forward and when their lips met, it was bittersweet. The kiss only lasted for a few seconds and Pat release an involuntary sigh of relief as he pulled away, before opening his eyes to look at Pran. The latter just stared at him before pulling him back for another kiss, Pat ran his hand through Pran’s hair and pulled him even more impossibly closer and Pran did the same.
“I love you.” Pat spoke in between kisses. “Do you?”
Pran kiss him one last time before pulling away completely. “I love you, but I can’t. I’m sorry.” Pran closed his eyes before walking away, leaving Pat.
---
After an hour of crying in the rooftop, Pat decided to go back to his room and to sleep everything off. It’s the best way to forget about everything, to sleep and forget.
“Pat.”
Pat stopped from his fifth toss and turn to find the best position to sleep and looked at Pran, standing at the foot of the bed. He sat up and just look at Pran, waiting for him to say anything if ever there’s something he’d like to say.
“I’ve thought about it.” Pran continued. “You’re right. We don’t know when I might disappear for good, and thinking about it, there’s only one thing or two that I’d like to do. I-I want to spend my remaining days with you, I want to spend my remaining days loving you as much as I can.” Pran smiled.
Pat sighed in relief before smiling widely as he untangled himself from the duvet and immediately pulled Pran for a hug, planting kisses all over his face.
“I love you so much.” Pat said happily, making Pran giggle.
“I love you so much too.”
“I’m here. Sorry I’m late.” Pat kissed Pran’s head before sitting next to him. They’re in the school rooftop because Pat wanted to eat lunch here. It’s the only placed he could freely talk to Pran without anyone thinking that he’s finally losing it.
“Did something happen?” Pran asks.
“Just having a hard time shaking my friends off my back.” Pat replied.
They stayed in the rooftop just talking about random stuff as Pat eat his lunch. They’re both emitting such a happy atmosphere, probably because something has changed between them. A good change.
After some time, they finally decided to leave at the same time the school bell rings. Pran walk ahead and was happily humming while Pat pick up his leftover food before following his lover.
Thud.
Pran stopped on his tracks and look back. His heart dropped to his stomach as he saw Pat on the ground, not moving. “Pat!” He hurriedly ran towards him and lay in on his back. “Pat? What’s wrong?” He taps his cheeks before placing his ear against Pat’s chest to listen for a heartbeat.
Silence.
“Pat! Baby, wake up!” Pran gently shook his body at first, before doing it again, roughly than the previous one and Pat wouldn’t budge.
What is happening? Why is Pat not waking up?
Pran look around in panic, before standing up and running towards the door to get some help. He doesn’t know how, but he’ll try.
But before he could reach the door, his head started getting fuzzy, his eyes blurring. He stumbled down and look down on his hands slowly disappearing.
“No, no, no.” He said and tried to get up. “I can’t disappear, not yet.” He tried to crawl the remaining distance between him and the door, but he entirely disappeared before he could reach it.
Pat!
---
Pran slowly opened his eyes and hiss at the blinding light welcoming him. Am I in heaven? He asks himself. He blinks a few more times and his eyes slowly adjusted to the light. He’s in a room, he looks around the said room and notice different kinds of machines and tubes attached to him. He wanted to speak, but the only thing coming from his mouth was a groan.
This alerted his mom and immediately called a nurse before running back to his side, her eyes filled with tears. “Pran? Can you hear me? It’s mom.”
Pran groaned again and that made her sobbed even more. Doctors and nurses flooded the room as they check on him. They did some series of test on him before finally confirming that he’s back and that they’ll observe him for now.
“W-w-water.” He tried to speak, is voice sounding so rustic and hoarse. His mother tried to pour the water into the glass, but with shaky hands, Pran grabbed the bottle and drank every drop. He’s so thirsty he could drink an entire ocean. He tried clearing his throat before speaking again. “W-what happened t-to me?”
“You don’t remember anything?” He shook his head. “You got into an accident Pran. You were on your way back home from scouting different dorms to rent once school starts. The police said, the driver of the lorry that hit you fell asleep and lost control.”
“H-how long h-have I been a-asleep?” He tried to move his body, but it was so stiff, it’s painful.
“It’s been a year.” His mom sobs. “We really thought you wouldn’t wake up.”
“I-I see.” Pran sigh and look up at the ceiling. So, he got into an accident and has been in a coma for a year, somehow, that didn’t surprise him at all. In fact, he feels nothing. He continued to stare at the ceiling, trying to remember what he needs to remember, until he unknowingly fell asleep.
---
Pran has been in and out of consciousness for a couple of days, the doctor saying that it’s normal when a patient was in a coma for a long time. After four days of that state, he’s finally getting stable and can now sit up, but his whole legs still numb, but nonetheless, he’s getting better.
He’s currently alone in his hospital room, his mom going home to get some spare clothes, and his dad going back to work. He begrudgingly turns off the television and toss the remote aside, he glanced outside the window, before closing his eyes.
“Pran!”
Who is it?
“Pran, my love.”
Who are you?
“I love you Pran.”
Pran groaned, his head hurting as an image slowly appeared in his head. An image of a very handsome man, smiling at him. Pran’s eyes teared up as his heart and mind slowly recognize who the man is.
“Pat!” He exclaimed and jerked up from his sleep.
“Woah! Hey there.” Pran look at Wai standing next to his bed, while Safe and Louis stood at the opposite side. “How are you feeling?”
“Welcome back to the world of the living dude.” Louis jokingly said.
“Yes, welcome back dude.” Safe spoke. “You made us wait for a year.”
Pran relaxes, and smile at them. “I am doing fine. Thanks for coming guys.”
“Of course. We came as soon as we heard you’re awake, but you were either sleeping or worse unconscious.” Wai said. “We finally got the timing right.”
His friends proceed to tell him everything that happened at school and with their lives, and although Pran appreciates it, he can’t give them his full attention.
“Can I ask you guys something?” He cuts off. The three went silent, before nodding simultaneously. “H-how’s Pat doing? You know him right?”
Wai’s brows furrowed and looked at Louis and Safe before looking back at Pran. “He’s uhh.” Wai rub his neck, a solemn look on his face.
“He’s what?” Pran pried.
“He passed away.” Safe continued.
Pran looked at him and then laughs. “Okay, seriously. Where is he?” He asks again, and the look on his friends’ faces didn’t change. The heart monitor attached to him started beeping faster that made his friends panic.
“Please tell me that’s not true.” Pran plead, a lump slowly forming in his throat. “Please tell me you’re just joking because you guys hate him. Please.”
“Pran, calm down.” Wai said, looking between him and the heart monitor. “How do you know Pat? Are you guys really friends just like he said last time?”
“Friends?” A tear runs down his cheek. “He’s the love of my life.”
Wai’s eyes widen before looking at him apologetically. “I’m sorry Pran.”
“His friends found him unconscious on the rooftop. He was hurriedly sent to the hospital, but he was pronounced dead on arrival.” Louis said. “We didn’t know why and how; we knew because the dean announced the sad news.”
Pran’s vision blurred as he screams his lungs out. He violently pulled all the tubes and wires in his body and tried to leave his bed. He wants to go back to Pat’s dorm and see that he was there waiting for him just like the usual, greeting him with a warm smile and an even warmer hug and everything will be okay.
There’s no way he’s dead, not Pat. It just doesn’t make sense. How can a healthy young boy just die so suddenly? There must be more to it and he needs to know.
“I need to see him!” He yelled as three nurses held him down, one of them injecting him with something. He slowly loses his strength before succumbing to sleep, a sleep that he hopes he’d never wake up to.
After four and a half weeks of physical therapy, Pran finally had a full recovery and is out of the hospital for good. He’s been waiting for this day to come, and the first thing he did was go to Pat’s dorm. He knocked on the door relentlessly to the point, the other student from the opposite room came out and told him that the room is empty for quite some time. He went down to the reception and asked to look at the room, saying something about renting the place. The landlord unlocked the room for him and left to give him some time to check the room, which he is grateful for.
Once he was alone in that room, he immediately broke down, as memories of them together is all he can see anywhere in the room, it overwhelms him. This was their sanctuary, the only place they could be themselves, the only place Pat could freely touch and kiss him.
Now, now it’s just an empty room. Void with things belonging to his love and void with everything that is about them. The room became meaningless now that they’re no longer in it together.
---
The second thing he did was go to Pat’s family home, but unfortunately, they immediately move away after their son’s funeral. Pran broke down again, as he lost the chance to see the house his love grew up in. Pat had told him a lot of his childhood memories and the promise of giving him a house tour when they had a chance, and now, that chance is lost forever.
---
Pran is on his way to the village Pat brought him twice. He parked the car outside the familiar house Uncle Tong, who came out coincidently.
“Good evening, Uncle Tong.” He greeted.
“Good evening.” Uncle Tong greeted back. “Sorry, do I know you?”
Pran shook his head. “My name is Pran Siridechawat.”
Uncle Tong look at him with recognition. “Pat’s Pran?”
Pran smiled. “Yes, Pat’s Pran. He told you about me?”
“He did. How are you?” He asks.
“I could be better.” Pran answered honestly. “How are you?”
“I’m doing fine. I’m on my way to the bar, come with me.” Uncle Tong said and tapped Pran’s shoulder as they walk silently, both not knowing what to say. When they reached the bar, Uncle Tong wave at his friend who Pran also recognized as the owner.
“You have a guest.” The guy stated, smiling at Pran. “Welcome to our village.”
“Thank you.” Pran smiled back. The old men ask him a lot of questions in which he gladly answered all of them before excusing himself.
He strolled around the area, tracing their steps back when they were here, happy, and just them. When he came back near the bar, he noticed Uncle Tong approaching him, so he stopped walking and smile at the old man.
“Pat wanted me to give you this.” Uncle Tong handed him a small white envelope. Pran accepts in and look at it with a frown. Pat left him a letter? Questions after questions swarm in his mind. What?
“When did he-?”
“The last time he came here.” But Pran was with him that time, how come he didn’t notice? And why? “He told me you would come here someday and when you do, I should hand you that letter. He said all the answers to your questions are in there.” Uncle Tong smiled sadly, as a memory came into mind.
[ “Uncle Tong.” Pat called. “Can I ask you for a favour?” Pat talked in a hush tone, looking behind him from time to time.
Uncle Tong looked at him curiously. “Why are you acting so suspicious?”
“Nothing.” Pat laughs. “This, can you please keep this for me?” Pat held out the white envelope.
“What’s this?”
“It’s a letter to Pran.” Ohm replied. “There will come a day when Pran will come here and I’m sure, when that day comes, I’ll no longer be in this world.”
“Pat-.”
“It’s okay uncle. We all know it’s going to happen.” Pat looks at the distance. “When he comes here, can you please give him this for me? Tell him it’s the answers to all his questions.”
Uncle Tong looked at the envelope and then back to his nephew. “Who is Pran?”
“He’s the love of my life.” Pat smiled widely, his eyes full of love and happiness and it breaks Uncle Tong’s heart.
“I’ll make sure to give this to him.” Uncle Tong assured him. Pat gave him a grateful hug before going back to his room.” ]
Uncle Tong went back to where his friend is, leaving Pran with a letter that seems heavy on his hand. He walked up to one of the lamps before opening the letter with a trembling hand. Not far from him, a strumming of guitar started playing.
~Oh how short was the time given to us~
~Love that is just one kiss in the wind~
My Pran,
If you’re reading this then you must be at the village, and that also means I’m no longer there with you.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you anything about my illness.
~Oh, how short was the time given to us~
~Love that is just one kiss in the wind~
The truth is, I was diagnosed with a stage 2 leukaemia a year ago. I tried every treatment, but nothing’s working so I just gave up. I never told anyone about this because I don’t want my illness to define me. I wanted to stay as the Pat Jindapat they knew from the very beginning. Since I stopped my treatment, it’s not a surprised that my illness got worse and worse, but meh, I didn’t let it affect me, because I’m much stronger.
~My heart became alive for only one moment~
~And now it’s bleeding~
I was ready to die Pran, up until I met you. You gave me hope and you made me want to live longer, so I talked to my parents about trying treatment again, and it made them happy. We went to all the hospitals in the city and tried all sorts of treatment there is available, but alas, nothing still works on me.
~It’s because I’m not anymore by his side~
~Is there still hope?~
Remember the first time I invited to go to the beach with me? I gave up on treatment yet again and I wanted to run away, so I did, and brought you with me. Best decision I’ve ever made.
~I just wish there will be one more chance~
~To return to yesterday, when I was with him~
You must be wondering why I wrote you a letter. Of course you are, and it’s to be expected. Actually Pran, on the three days that you were missing, a doctor called my mom about a new treatment for me, and I gave it a chance. After my session, we were on our way home when I saw your friends enter the hospital, I was in. I got curious so I followed them and that’s when I saw you, well, your body, in one of the rooms in the ICU. I asked one of the nurse about you and they told me that you’ve been in a coma for almost a year now, and to say I was surprise was an understatement. There’s a chance you could live and it made me so happy.
~When I was happy~
~Happy~
The day before you came back to me, I learned that the new treatment is not working either, no surprises there, as I already expected it. I wanted to tell you about your condition Pran, but I chose not to. I’m selfish, aren’t I? I’m sorry. In the little time we’ve known each other, I already predicted two possible outcomes. If I told you the truth, there’s a chance you’d try to get back to your body right away, which is the good part, but the bad part is your curiosity Pran, I know you’d ask me why I was in the hospital and would snoop around if I don’t tell you the truth, because you always know when I’m lying. If ever you’d learn about my illness and that I’m dying, there’s a higher possibility that you’d refuse to wake up if it means not being with me and I can’t let that happen.
~I am very eager to be with him~
~I want to kiss him on the lips and on his cheeks~
I love you too much to let you waste your life for me, because I know you wouldn’t hesitate to do so. I don’t know how much longer I could hold on, but I want my last day to be filled with happiness and with you, I want to die being happy in your memory, I hope I could do that.
~Can I still restore the love the two of us had?~
~Or is there no chance anymore?~
I love you Pran, I will always love you.
~It’s because I’m not anymore by his side~
~Is there still hope?~
Please live your life to the fullest. Finish your degree with high grades, spoil your parents and go see the beauty that is the world.
~I just wish there will be one more chance~
~To return to yesterday, when I was with him~
I will always be with you.
Your Pat.
~When I was happy~
~Happy~
Pran fell down on his knees, crying his heart out as he hugs the letter. He just wills himself to cry, a never-ending tears when it comes to Pat. He forces himself to stand up and gets closer to the ocean.
“I’m going to live my life for the both of us Pat.” He said into the wind. “I love you so much.” Pran close his eyes, more tears running down his cheeks as he felt something cold touch his lips.
I love you so much too Pran.
Fin.