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Jessica Drew hadn’t seen Natasha Romanoff in a long time. Such a long time, in fact, that she had begun to think that she might never see the red-haired assassin again, nor anyone else from the life she had left behind. For Jessica, this wouldn’t have been the worst thing; she had spent the past few years building up a normal life for herself, and she knew the arrival of anyone from her past, regardless of whether they were friend or foe, would threaten to make that normal life crumble. But peace could not last forever; a knock on her door in the middle of a chilly November afternoon saw Jessica looking through the peephole to find Natasha standing outside, arms crossed, waiting.
Jessica didn’t answer straight away. She briefly considered not answering at all, but quickly decided there was no point; she knew Natasha, and Natasha wouldn’t have bothered coming up to the door if she hadn’t known Jessica was home. Jessica stepped forward, pressed her forehead against the back of the door and let out a sigh. She lifted her forehead, undid the lock on the door and stepped back, pulling it half open.
“Natasha,” Jessica said with a slight nod of her head, “I would say it’s a pleasure to see you again, but I fear I might be lying if I did.”
Natasha’s lips curled into a smile at that, and she let out a breath that sounded as if it were almost a laugh. “I’m surprised you haven’t asked how I managed to find you.”
Jessica shrugged. “It’s you. I doubt there’s a person on this planet you wouldn’t be able to find if you wanted to.” She paused. “And also, after you released every file SHIELD has ever had last year, I’m almost surprised you’re the only one who’s shown up.” She stepped back from the door, pulling it open further so Natasha could step inside.
“Jessica, anyone who knows enough about you to care what’s in that file and to know it’s about you knows it’s best to keep a distance.” Natasha took off her coat, hanging it up on the coat rack in the corner behind the door.
“Except for you, apparently.” The door now closed and locked, Jessica turned to face Natasha.
Natasha’s smile did not waver; if anything, it grew. “And here I thought you’d be happy to see me after all this time,” Natasha replied, her tone light and teasing, “well, once you’d gotten over the initial shock that I found you.”
Jessica smiled, dropping her head to look down at her feet. However, it was only a few moments before she was lifting it to look at Natasha again. “After everything I went through that led me to meet you? I think seeing a familiar face might only just outweigh that on a good day.” Natasha let out a chuckle. “But I am curious as to why you’re here,” Jessica added. When Natasha didn’t respond, Jessica stepped past her and walked into the living room. She didn’t sit down but, after following behind her, Natasha did, settling herself on one side of the sofa. Jessica leaned against the doorway leading to her bedroom with one shoulder, arms crossed as she waited for Natasha’s explanation.
“A little bird told me that there’s a new superhero rattling around Hell’s Kitchen,” Natasha finally said. She leaned back against the cushion behind her, crossing one leg over the other as she looked up at Jessica.
“Superhero is a bit of a kind word for him, don’t you think?” Jessica asked. “Guy running around in a mask, beating people up every night? More of a vigilante if you ask me.”
Natasha shook her head, scoffing as she turned to look out the window. “You know I’m not talking about him, Jessica.”
She did know that, this was true, but knowing it didn’t mean she was willing to admit to what Natasha was implying. So instead she furrowed her eyebrows and dropped her head to one side. “Then I’m afraid I’m not sure who you’re talking about. He’s the newest I’ve heard of in Hell’s Kitchen.”
“Come on Jess, you know I’m talking about Spider-Woman.” Natasha looked back at Jessica. “About you.”
Jessica nodded in concession, letting her head face the ground for a few moments before looking back up at Natasha. “Yeah, I know,” she admitted, “though I have to be honest, I was hoping that wasn’t why you were here.”
“What, you think I’m going to try and stop you?” When Jessica didn’t speak, Natasha shook her head. “That’s not why I’m here, Jess. Actually, it’s kind of the opposite.”
Jessica pushed herself off the doorframe and walked around the coffee table to sit beside Natasha. Leaning back against the other cushion, she asked “and what’s the opposite?”
“We want you to join the Avengers.”
Jessica knew she shouldn’t have scoffed, shouldn’t have had to hold herself back from laughing in Natasha’s face. Yet that was exactly what she had to do; she dropped her head and tried to mask her amusement with a cough. It wasn’t even that she found what Natasha had said to be funny. If anything, she found it ridiculous. Shaking her head, she got to her feet. “Nat, you know that’s not gonna happen.” As she spoke, she stepped around the coffee table, beginning to pace along the opposite side of it to the couch, walking up and down the empty space in front of the turned-off TV.
“Jess, just consider it.” Natasha got to her feet, also stepping around the coffee table. Jessica turned to keep pacing but, finding Natasha in her way, she had no choice but to stop. “You’re really good. We could use someone like you on the team.”
Jessica shook her head. “I can’t, Natasha,” she replied, “I just - I can’t.” She moved to step past Natasha, but Natasha grabbed her arm, forcing her to stop in place.
“Look,” Natasha said, “they don't care about who you were in the past, Jess. What you had to do, who you had to work for… they don’t care about any of it.”
“It’s not because of that, Nat.” Jessica looked over Natasha’s shoulder toward the kitchen for a moment, before refocusing her gaze on Natasha’s face. “It’s… I want an ordinary life, Natasha, and signing up to the Avengers? That’s the furthest thing from ordinary.”
“And dressing up in a suit to go and fight crime by yourself on the streets isn’t?”
Jessica sighed. “Come on Nat, you know that’s not the same. Everyone knows who the Avengers are. At least like this, when I take off the suit, I’m just Jessica Drew, who lives in an apartment on the fourth floor and works at the restaurant down the street. I’m not Jessica Drew who disappears for weeks on end at the same time as the Avengers are out fighting aliens, or robots, or whatever you’re fighting these days.”
Natasha’s expression faltered for a moment, on the verge of falling, and Jessica felt her heart sink. It wasn’t her intention to hurt Natasha. But she knew she couldn’t join the Avengers, and Natasha ought to have known it too. She had worked so hard over the past few years to build a life for herself that was as close to normal as she was ever going to get, and she wasn’t keen on the idea of giving it up now. Especially for something as incredibly not normal as joining the Avengers.
“I’m sorry, Natasha, but I” - Jessica sighed - “I can’t do this. I just can’t.”
Natasha nodded, letting go of Jessica’s arm. “I get it,” she said with a nod, “I just - I don’t know. I guess I hoped you’d change your mind.”
“It was good to see you again, Nat,” Jessica replied, “and I’m here if you really need me, you know that. I just… I can’t join the Avengers.”
Natasha nodded again. “It was good to see you, Jess.” Giving Jessica a smile, Natasha reached up and squeezed her arm, before turning and heading for the door. Jessica stayed standing in the living room, watching as Natasha retrieved her coat and shrugged it on. Once it was on, she stood in front of the door and turned to face Jessica again. “You know, we’ll always be there if you change your mind. And you’d be a good addition to the team if you did.”
“Yeah, I’ll uh” - Jessica cleared her throat - “I’ll keep it in mind.” She offered Natasha a smile, which Natasha returned before putting on her coat and heading out the door. Jessica watched as the door closed behind Natasha, and then she stared at the door, thinking.
Maybe I should have taken the offer. Jessica’s hesitation was brief, barely even momentary, but it was still there, pushing her to question whether she had made the right decision. She knew what she wanted - a quiet life, an ordinary life, away from the people that had manipulated her and tossed her around for so many years - but something else tugged at her mind, pulling in the opposite direction. It took her a while to figure out what it was but, once she did, she understood exactly why her mind wouldn’t let the offer go, as well as why her heart felt a little heavier than it had ten minutes ago.
It was because of the idea that, maybe, she could have some sort of a family. Even if that family did come with the perils of being surrounded by superheroes with lists of enemies longer than their lists of allies.