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From the first day he met Anya, Twilight knew he had his work cut out for him.
He was never a father. He never had experience with children. He always completed missions solo or with another trained adult. While children may have been the driving force behind why he continued accepting mission after mission until his body screamed at him, that didn’t make him fit to handle them.
Books had done nothing for him. Advice had done nothing for him. Yor really was the only person in the entire world that could have helped him. She was patient with Anya and her studies when Loid was about to rip his hair out in frustration (even though Yor never helped Anya become better, but, slow progress was still progress). Yor had a way of speaking to Anya that Loid would never excel at. She was that perfect blend of kind, nurturing, and when needed, strict to keep Anya happy, motivated, and keeping him from losing his mind.
But there was only so much Yor could do as a stand-in mother to keep Anya from cutting his lifespan in half.
“Mama and Papa are flirting!”
One: Twilight had no idea how she had come to such a conclusion. Two: he was definitely not flirting with her mother. All because Loid had thanked her for helping the old woman who had been attacked by a thief?
Twilight had chalked it up to the innocence of a child, until it happened a second time.
“Mama and Papa are gonna kissy!”
Okay, so Yor may have been a beautiful woman with a pleasant smile and eyes that could make his heart skip a beat, and he had kissed many women half as attractive as her in the past. But to hear it said from the mouth of a six-year-old child made his face burn with embarrassment for the first time in years.
Where in God’s name was Anya learning all of this? Her spy cartoons? Books? School?! Loid had a feeling that if he didn’t find the source and put an end to it quickly, Anya would only grow worse.
Sadly, Twilight couldn’t blame her. Knowing Anya’s past and seeing how happy she was around the house, it was only natural for a child to want loving parents. He could all but remember how he felt as a little boy, hiding in his room as his parents bickered about this and that. He could remember how happy he was when his parents were smiling, when they were close to each other, when they both appeared to love the other...
Twilight shook his head violently. He’d rather not think about such a time in his life. So long as he remained civil and respectful with Yor, Anya could say whatever she wanted. It wouldn’t bother him. In fact, her comments only made him realize that he was pulling off his role as husband and father well enough.
That didn’t mean he approved of Anya’s witticisms that only got worse the more time she spent around her friend, Becky.
All it took was one look at Yor and Anya’s mouth opened to say something.
“Mama and Papa are best lovers!”
“Mama and Papa are gonna have lots of cood-ling time!”
“Mama and Papa are gonna make lots of babies!”
That had been when Loid took Anya to Becky’s house for their monthly sleepover and politely questioned her parents about their daughter’s influence on Anya.
As much as he wished to keep Anya under control, Twilight also appreciated it. If Anya had kept to herself, Loid would have willingly lost himself in the beauty that was his wife. That was unnecessary, and dangerous. It could destroy his mission. Granted a light kiss and a hug here and there was appropriate to convince the masses that Loid was in love with Yor and vice versa, those subtle touches weren’t enough at times.
Anya always seemed to bury him in ice water when Loid was stepping over that line. Deep down, he figured Yor thought the same. They would both return to acting like acquaintances around the house and a modest couple when in public.
Months after learning to ignore Anya and her improper remarks, Twilight thought he was safe from falling victim to the woman he shared a house with.
Then, along comes Bond.
Truthfully, Loid owed the massive canine a great deal. He had kept Anya safe when she disobeyed her mother. He had kept Anya entertained on days Yor had to work late and he was losing his patience with her studies. He could impressively sense danger and had been able to help citizens in peril.
But if he thought Anya was bad when it came to poking fun at her parents, Bond took it to the next level.
At first, Twilight thought nothing of it. It was just innocent dog accidents.
Loid and Yor always had a nightly routine. While Anya was glued to the television for her allotted hour of cartoons, Yor stood in the kitchen brewing tea and Loid sat on the couch with a book. The first accident had happened when Yor came into the living room with the tray of tea, and Bond jumped up to see if the tray carried any snacks for him (Loid had assumed anyway). Yor had unfortunately been at his side when she lost control of the tray, all the contents landing on him or the table. The tea burned his skin through his sweater, likely staining the white shirt underneath it, and Yor fell onto his lap, her head colliding with his shoulder.
The pain from the scalding tea dissipated when Loid noticed how close Yor was to his face. They both stared at each other for an extremely uncomfortable second or two, then Yor pushed herself off of him to sit at the other end of the couch.
Bond lapped up the tea on the table and any snack he could get his paws on. So while Loid tried to calm his racing heart, Yor ran off into the kitchen to grab some towels and Anya joined Bond in feasting on the carnage.
The second “accident,” Loid partially blamed on Anya. They had taken her to the park, like they usually did once a week, and Loid had relinquished Bond’s leash to his daughter. There had been no danger, as the park had been gated and there were very few people out, but he still gave Anya a stern warning to hold onto the leash.
“Don’t let him go,” was what he told her. “If you drop his leash, he’ll wander away, and you may never see him again.”
His warning worked as expected, and Anya took off down the field with her hand tightening on the leash. Yor giggled at his side, always happy to see Anya in a good mood and enjoying some much-needed exercise. Despite himself, Loid could feel a faint blush rise to his cheeks hearing the sound, almost soothing him of his stress, his worries, his weariness.
He had been so lost in the woman standing next to him that Loid didn’t sense danger approaching. Bond and Anya ran right up to them, but the dog settled behind him while Anya stood in front of him. Anya’s face puffed with indignation, and Loid immediately knew something was wrong.
He just didn’t question it fast enough.
Whenever Anya tried to move around them to reach for Bond’s fur, Bond moved in the other direction. The second Loid felt the strap of the leash dig into his leg, he tried to calm his irate daughter.
“Anya, stop.”
“Bond made Anya step in poopie!”
They circled around them once again, the leash pulling tighter and climbing up his leg. “Drop the leash, Anya. Now.”
When Yor tumbled into him, Loid repeated himself with more urgency. “Anya! Let him go!”
“Bad Bond!”
His plea fell on deaf ears and Bond continued to run in circles, also captive to the trap Anya had unintentionally created. His hips were literally digging into Yor’s, her chest was smashed against him, and the pressure of her body on his left him unable to process anything else.
Hell, deep down, he was grateful. He had been thirsty for this kind of contact for months and had pushed that desire back into the darkest corner of his mind. Bond was now his partner in crime...
But Bond was also much larger and heavier of a dog, so Loid wasn’t surprised when one final tug sent him falling backwards towards the ground. He considered himself lucky enough to use his arms to catch himself, but then Yor was right there on top of him, and he had nowhere else to look but into her eyes and capture little details about her face he had never been able to notice...
“Heh. Mama and Papa are dirty.”
Well, Loid liked to think his daughter meant dirty as in not clean thanks to the grass and dirt stains he was sure to have on his back now. Not dirty as in Papa has dirty thoughts about Mama and having lots of babies with Mama.
God help him if Yor could feel his heart pounding away in his chest. They needed to untangle themselves very soon or he was about to start feeling his blood somewhere he really didn’t want to think about...
Thankfully, Loid had been able to command Bond to circle back around them to loosen the leash. Anya remained unmoving in her place, her grin spreading horrifically, holding her end of the leash like she had when he first handed it to her.
Loid and Yor barely spoke on the walk home, and Loid never let Anya take the leash from him again if Yor had been with them.
The third time, well...he blamed himself.
Yor had been acting odd that week, and in his effort to cheer her up, Loid took on some of her household chores. She had told him over and over again that it hadn’t been necessary, but he quickly put her concerns to rest. One said chore was bathing Bond, and after seeing the giant fluffball wet once, Loid was actually looking forward to it.
However, Bond fought him the moment he realized where his owner was taking him. Loid had assumed Bond wouldn’t resist, as Yor had given him baths frequently. Yor did have a strength advantage, and he feared for a few minutes that this may be one chore he would need her to carry out.
To his surprise, Yor had returned home from work during his struggle to get Bond into the shower, and she had been more than willing to help him. Loid watched in awe as Yor wrapped her arms under Bond and lifted the giant dog from the ground like she was picking up Anya. But, Bond was still resisting, and Loid would not let Yor do all the work by herself when he should have been able to do it on his own.
“You have to start slowly,” Yor said as she turned on the water while keeping a firm grip on Bond's collar. “He’s not bad once he feels the water, but he’s always difficult to calm down at first.”
Twilight thought he was the one who should be all-knowing, so to have Yor give him the rundown on bathing their dog, his pride deflated slightly. “I-I see...”
Like magic, Bond became much more content the longer he was under the spray of the shower. Loid thought it best to help Yor wash his fur with the shampoo he had been handed, so he sat on his knees next to her and followed her lead. He had never been around a lot of dogs, never one this size, and never one so hairy. Loid felt his forearms and shoulders tire after working half of Bond’s fur coat. How did Yor do this on her own?
Beside him, he heard Yor giggle, and Loid suddenly realized how close he was to her. “He takes a lot of work, but I think Bond appreciates it. I know Anya likes to hug him when he’s clean and fluffy after a bath.”
Loid had long stopped helping wash their dog, all of his attention directed to the smile that Yor had shown him. Her eyes were bright, like a roaring volcano that he was about to willingly fall into. Yor studied his face with her smile fading the longer they kept their gazes on each other, until eventually, her pull became too strong to fight.
He leaned into her slowly, his eyes only leaving hers to find her lips, to make sure he didn’t mess up the moment.
Bond, however, grew tired of being wet. Before he could make contact, Loid was pelted with water as Bond shook his body dry. Yor pulled away from him, an arm lifted to try and block the spray, but Loid only grumbled under his breath. As a spy, he should have anticipated this, and he had been foolish to think he could have one moment with his wife.
“I-I should have grabbed a towel before we came in.” Yor at least found everything humorous, but then she turned to Loid. Her smile almost split her face in two, catching him completely off-guard, and her back nearly hit the wall as she laughed.
“I don’t know who looks cuter right now; you or Bond!”
Bond continued to shake off the water, and Loid sat still, frozen by the sound of Yor’s laughter and her calling him cute.
And when he snapped out of his stupor, Yor knelt in front of him with a towel in his hair. “I’m sorry, Loid. Bond usually makes a giant mess, and I’m never not prepared.”
He could feel her hands working against the towel on his head, and that fog swept him right back up. She then lowered the towel to around his neck, wiping up any excess moisture off his skin. In doing so, he found her eyes again, searching them for any sort of sign that this was where he was meant to be, and this was who he was meant to be with.
His hands moved on their own, reaching out to brush her hair off of her face. Yor blushed deeply at his touch, but she didn’t pull away or tell him to stop. Her hands left the towel and landed squarely on his shoulders, as if to hold her steady as she hovered over him. It didn’t take much effort to guide her back towards him, even if he could feel her hands tightening on his shoulders.
Loid had closed his eyes once she was an inch away from him, but he didn’t get the contact he so desperately wanted.
Nope. Bond must have heard Anya returning from school and bolted out of the bathroom. In doing so, he jumped from the shower behind Yor, causing her head to collide into the bridge of his nose. Loid’s hands flew to his face, his eyes watering at the pain, but thankfully, he knew nothing was broken. Yor gasped and apologized profusely, telling him she would get some ice and made sure his nose wasn’t bleeding.
“Mama and Papa need practice at kissy.”
Loid was grateful Yor pushed Anya out of the bathroom to give him much needed space to groan loudly into his hands.
The fourth time Twilight knew Bond was trying to set him up.
Loid had put Anya to bed hours ago. He had been exhausted himself after a week of tiresome missions and frustrating hours helping Anya study for her upcoming final exams. Yor had oddly left after dinner, claiming she was going to go on a quick run, and Loid thought nothing of it.
Nearly four hours later, however, he started to worry. He knew Yor could take care of herself should anything happen, but he was all too aware of how easily someone could sneak up on you. As he sat in his chair, his eyes roaming the pages of the latest Spy Wars manga, his brain could only think about the danger his wife could be in.
He watched another hour tick by. Then one more. Maybe he had somehow missed her returning home? Loid wouldn’t be surprised, as she had flown under his radar when they had first met, and a few other times since. If by chance Yor was still missing, he would have no idea where to try and find her. The longer her let her remain missing, the less likely he would be able to locate her, and he would not let some common thug or criminal take his wife away from him.
Just as he threw himself to his feet, he heard Bond bark once. It startled him, as Bond never barked so late into the night unless there was trouble. To make sure he could keep his daughter safe, Loid grabbed his gun from under his bed, tucked it into his pants, and carefully opened the door to assess the situation.
Bond sat calmly at the front door to the bathroom, which Loid found odd. Then, the dog pressed his nose against the door, lifted himself on his hind legs, and started scratching the wood. For a second, Loid thought Bond had trapped the enemy in the bathroom, since it was the first accessible place to try and hide. Bond didn’t growl, or bark again, but Loid approached as if the person behind the door could end his life with a single breath.
Bond even stepped back to give him the opportunity to face the criminal. Loid held up a finger to his mouth, telling Bond to keep quiet so as to not wake Anya, then gave himself a mental countdown, his hand reaching under his shirt to grip the gun.
With a powerful throw of his shoulder, Loid forced the door jamb open, ready to take out the newest threat to his family.
He was faced with something much worse.
Yor must have just stepped out of the shower, and for the first time in his life, Twilight felt everything stop. All he could do was stare at her, completely naked, unable to tear his eyes off of her.
Yor grabbed a towel so fast that the rack it had been on came off the wall. Her actions and the clanking of the rod brought Loid back to his senses, but his entire body was on fire as he opened his mouth to try and reason with her.
Sadly for him, all his brain could focus on was how she looked mere seconds ago...
It took far too much strength to turn his back on her. “I-I...I’m...”
He couldn’t even talk!
So, he left the room, slammed the door behind him, and fell against the wall next to it. Loid failed to catch his breath, to gather his thoughts, to still his shaking form...
Yor really was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.
Stop that!
Bond woofed at his feet, his eyes all but mocking him for thinking he was holding off an intruder! “Goddamn it, Bond!”
He rarely cursed in front of others, but he was so humiliated that he felt justified. Bond continued to wag his tail, unfazed by his master’s tone.
As if the situation couldn’t get any worse, Yor stepped out of the bathroom, holding her towel against her chest. He turned at the sound of the door closing loudly, but all he could focus on was how small the towel had been on her, how it barely reached her mid-thigh, and failed miserably to cover her supple breasts.
Loid closed his eyes, knowing he was far too weak to look away, and hoped his attempt to give her some privacy did not go unnoticed.
“W-What are you doing, Loid?”
Oh god, now he had to answer her. Loid had to cough several times to clear his throat, but soon that burning of desire faded into disgust. It landed like a ten-ton weight in his stomach. “I’m so sorry, Yor.”
His guilt got the better of him after a few minutes of silence. “I was worried about you. You hadn’t come home. I thought you had snuck in when I wasn’t paying attention, so I was just going to check when I saw Bond at the door. I thought he had trapped someone inside, so...I-I...I’m so sorry.”
If he had the pride to bash his head into the wall, he would have done so.
“I-I worried you?”
As much as he didn’t want to, Loid opened his eyes, finding Yor wearing a slight frown. “I mean, yeah. I wouldn’t know what to do if you never came home.”
It would be unfortunate for his mission, but not unfixable. It would take a lot more work than he cared to put in, but for world peace, he would suck it up.
But for him, it would crush him. Loid had been unable to sleep and she had been gone for a total of six hours. What if she never came home? What if he never found her? What if he did find her and she was dead? How would he ever be able to live with himself if he wasn’t there to help her when she needed him?
A soft touch on his face pulled him out of the terrifying scenarios playing in his mind. Despite his inappropriate behavior, Yor stood in front of him, a fondness on her features he had never seen before. It was captivating, and enticing, but he swore she was the one who pulled him into her.
She kissed him, softly, quickly, and his lips tingled from the touch. “I never want you to be afraid.”
It may not have been the most noble of things to do, but Loid brought one hand to her neck while his other rested against her hip. “Then always come home.”
This time, he kissed her. Gently at first, allowing both of them time to grow comfortable with each other, then he pushed her against him in a hunger. Even with her only wearing a towel, all he could focus on was her lips, her nails digging into his scalp, the way she accepted his tongue into her mouth.
A forced breath escaped his lungs when she had him pressed up against the wall, but she didn’t stop kissing him. The hand she had on his face had lowered to his chest where her fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt. Loid had forgotten about his gun until Yor left no room between them and it started to dig into his stomach.
But it wasn’t until Bond barked loudly that they both separated. Loid had to blink several times, curious to know if what had happened was real or a deceitful dream. Bond barked again, and when Yor’s face darkened, Loid felt like he was floating on clouds.
“W-Would you mind...um, giving him his...his midnight snack while I...um...get dressed?”
Midnight snack?
Yor sensed his confusion, but he could not stop his eyes from soaking up the tasteful amount of cleavage the towel couldn’t contain. “I usually give him a treat when he’s good and I come home late. I promised him when I left I would give him...Loid?”
“Yeah, yeah, I um...I’ll um...do that...”
Loid suddenly felt like he was sweating, and the hall was suffocating him and what remained of his dignity. Bond’s tail slapped against the wall happily, knowing he was going to get his promised prize, but Yor stopped him before he could pass her.
“Um...d-do you...u-uh...”
Loid braved a smile and tried to finish her thought for her. “Would you uh,” he stumbled as he ran a hand through the back of his hair. “Want to sleep with me...tonight? T-That way I...I know you’re safe...?”
He held his breath. He had never wanted something so badly than he did at this very moment. He wanted Yor to tell him she would, that she wanted to be next to him, that she wanted him. If she said no or slapped him or grew disgusted by his boldness, Twilight may kill Loid off and return to the drawing board...
But she didn’t deny him. With a bright smile that reached into her eyes, Yor nodded. “I-I’ll always be safe w-with you...”
Loid nearly tore down the kitchen trying to find Bond’s snacks so he could return to the comfort of his wife and the happiness they had made together.
Bond oddly carried his snack down the hall in front of Anya’s room, and Loid didn’t question him further. Not when Yor met him in his doorway, almost jumping into his arms as he lifted her off her feet and carried her to his bed.
Outside in the hall, however, Anya’s door creaked open, and the giant canine entered the room. Anya gave Bond a hug around his neck as he munched on the treat he had been given.
“Opera-shun Lovey Mama and Papa complete, thanks to Agent Bond!”
She would give Director Chimera a full report in the morning.