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Gura hears steps behind her, but does not pay attention to it, because she knows this person who decided to visit her. She hears Amelia stop, apparently not daring to take the last, decisive step. It's annoying.
The detective, who was always confident, no matter what the reason, broke down like a used match. And Gura knows it. She broke her. Because of her, she now realizes that instead of those blue eyes she remembered as the sky, she will be looking at her with two eyes shattered like glass. Empty and devastated. Dead. That radiant, gentle smile, would no longer be directed at her, sending a wave of goosebumps down her spine. She's guilty of that. She is guilty of not being able to answer. She is very sorry.
She feels something warm fall on her shoulders and touches it with her palms. The blanket. She turns her head, even if she doesn't want to meet the blank face, she just does it. And it's true. Those blue eyes don't look at her, they look at the ocean, the waves of which hit the sand mesmerizingly every time. There isn't that smile or even a hint of it on her face. Gura reminds herself that this is her fault.
Amelia's hands are in her pants pockets, her back is straight as if she were in some kind of meeting, her eyes are squinted and look blank. She's looking out at the ocean, and Gura could swear she hears the girl thinking, but about what, she can't understand. Gura is likely to hate herself for making the girl like this. She should not have. Even if she should have...why didn't she do it more gently?
"You've been away from the house too long."
Gura blinks when she hears the voice. She looks away as the girl's head turns in her direction to make eye contact. Gura feels awkward and horrible inside. She shouldn't act like this. She hears Amelia sigh, but can't tell what it meant. A glance in the blonde's direction and she sees the girl stand in her original position: looking at the ocean.
"The guys are worried about you." Amelia says and Gura can only press her lips together in a thin line. She hears that she shouldn't. "I'm worried about you. You'll freeze, and then you might get sick."
"Why do you keep worrying about me if your heart is broken? I broke your heart!" Gura says the last part almost in a screaming voice. It annoys her. It annoys her how Amelia can still look at her tenderly, even though those eyes are full of sadness. She can't. She hears the girl laugh. A mute question swirls in her head. Gura wishes for an answer.
"Gura." The named one turns her head toward the detective and her breath catches and her heart skips a beat. This is not good. As Amelia is composed on her, her gaze, it is no longer blank, it glows. Gura knows it won't last. "I don't want to insist, even if you don't love me, I will still have those feelings for you. I will always be on your side, even if it affects others badly."
Gura hates it when a girl talks so sincerely. She can't hold herself together. A single tear rolls down her cheek, and then a few more, and only then does she give up. She gives up. She shouldn't have to do this. She knows that for Amelia it would be something wonderful, but for Gura it would just be a small thing to stop her tears.
She becomes close to her, their shoulders touching. She surrenders again as she captures the detective in her arms. She does not hear Amelia's heart as she touches her ear to the girl's chest. She thinks it doesn't move at all. Still, one hope lets her know that the heart is still there. Amelia is still there and that is enough to know that the girl is still alive. Gura will blame herself if anything happens to Amelia. She will be blamed for it.
"It hurts you to do this." She hears the tremor in Amelia's voice and realizes that the girl herself cannot hold back her tears. She is now just a consolation prize for Gura to make the girl stop crying. She does as she is told. What kills Gura is the fact that the girl will do anything just to make her happy. She doesn't have to. "Please get away from me. I know this hurts you."
Gura knows this too, but she doesn't pull away. She doesn't pull away because she wants the girl's heart to work again. She has to do it.
Several minutes pass.
"Shall we go back to the others?"
A cold wind from the ocean blows in her face, making bury her nose harder into her shirt collar. The two figures stand on the beach near the ocean. Small waves hit the sand, making a splash that was too quiet at this point for the couple. Stars have long since appeared in the sky, with the moon looking directly at them and shining the moonlight on them.
The diminutive girl moves to change her position to a more comfortable one, she grasps her shirt, the owner straining without moving or even breathing. Too close.
"Can we stay like this a little longer?"
She exhales as she feels hot hands touching her shirt, and even though the fabric is tight, she can still feel the heat of those hands on her body. A blush appears on her pale cheeks, and she tries to cover it by tucking it into the white of her top. This isn't right.
"Sure, as much as you wish."
They both gave up. They shouldn't have done it. Amelia hugs. She pulls the girl to her, trying to protect from everything in the world. She will be. If the whole world turns against them, if their friends hate them, she will always be on the side of the Gura. She promised. Gura raises her head, looking into the girl's eyes. Their faces are a few centimeters apart, and Gura takes the first step. She kisses. Amelia is annoyed by this. She returns the kiss, burying one hand in her white curls and placing the other on the girl's back, who arches under her touch. They shouldn't have.
Each of them knows that this is only for today. Tomorrow they won't need each other again. Tomorrow will be like normal again, and no matter how much Amelia wants it to be, she will still have to stop thinking about Gura. She will be in love. Gura knows that even if she has hurt Amelia a bunch of times, the girl will still love her. She shouldn't have done that, but it was probably the right choice.
They shouldn't have made such stupid mistakes. It was their fault. But even so, one soul will be as sad and empty as a leaf, and the other soul will be as bright as the moon in the dark sky.
the end