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During concerts Hoseok's off-button completely evaporates but after concerts he's the little guy of bts. Usually his energy plummets as if he's had a lot of alcohol, the sheer exchange of joy he runs on during fan interactions and performances doesn't always remain happily seated in his chest cavity. Sometimes Hoseok needs a break.
Sometimes that means no talking, no laughing, no moving. Sometimes that means cuddling up with his hyungs and watching a stupid movie none of them will remember and sometimes it just means rest, whatever feels good that day. Jimin knows that Hoseok always prefers to spend rest with his members, though. No matter how tired he really is. He often needs physical affection for the reassurance to kick in and Jimin loves cuddling with Hoseok.
Jimin can see that his hyung is pretty tired today, he's not at all focused on the interview they're doing. Instead he's clutching the hems of his shorts and waving them soundlessly back and forth, looking anywhere but the interviewer and the camera that's luckily not broadcasting this live.
Maybe he's feeling little unexpectedly? Jimin checks for the signs, being able to take him in and maybe offer some comfort because he's luckily sitting right next to him.
Hoseok's sucking on his bottom lip and has plastered on a very absent half smile. He's also squinting at the bright lights and unfocusing into nothingness. Jimin keeps his smile straight and sneaks his arm behind him where Seokjin is sitting to softly tap him, silently drawing his attention to Hoseok's behavior while Taehyung is telling the interviewer a story they've all heard a hundred times.
After a few seconds, Seokjin taps him back, understanding the possible need for diversion. Right on time too, because when Hoseok's then asked a question, the panic he feels is palpable for everyone.
"Is it true you're always such a strict dance instructor?" The interviewer asks, a nonchalant smile on her face. "I've seen a couple of compilations about it. It seems you don't hesitate to correct their mistakes," she says.
Hoseok's face flushes. He feels a rush of cold dread when all the attention is suddenly on him, he's struggling to form words and think of a response because he can't think right and he can't talk right because he's accidentally slipped too little. That realisation is burning in the back of his throat and he does his best to refrain from pleadingly looking at Jimin, being too frozen in his seat to even move.
What makes it worse is that the interviewer's comment makes him feel a bit guilty. He should probably apologize for being so harsh on the members. And for not being able to stay big during an interview.
"Sorry," he mumbles sheepishly, it being the only thing he can push out of his mouth. He cringes when immediately a cacophony of sounds erupts, made up from Taehyung, who starts protesting loudly in both Korean and English, saying, "No, no, no hyung, you're fine, you're the best," while Jimin and Jin at the same time make a joke out of it. Telling another story, diverting the attention and hyping Hoseok up.
Jimin takes the opportunity to wrap his arm around Hoseok, shielding him a little and feeling how tense he is. Seokjin rubs Hoseok's shoulders from behind him, reassuring him and simultaneously passing the word to Namjoon, who confidently starts talking. The rest have all noticed Hoseok's little, too. Saying sorry in such a way has definitely let them all know.
Hoseok taps his foot and reminds himself he's got to get through this. That it'll all be okay and over soon. That this video will be edited and that Army won't mind if he has one slip up on camera. It's not doing much. He doesn't feel better.
Thankfully, a few seconds later, Jimin gestures for him to fall into his lap when the whole group starts laughing at something, knowing Hoseok's habit of curling into the next person when he's happy. It won't stand out if he does it now.
Hoseok sees him gently offer this and slowly sags into Jimin. Even if it's just for a second, Jimin's hand softly carding through his hair and him whispering encouragement into his ear makes it all so much better. Suddenly a weight that's been there all week lifts off his chest and he can breathe again.
He's not used to needing people to speak for him but lately his anxiety has been worse because he's been more exhausted. The jetlag when they go to America is always bad and he just hasn't had the chance to rest before the interview, worrying about the members, about his health, about their practices and schedule.
It's been enough. He has to give over to not dealing for a while. And he does feel guilty about it because he wants to pull his part, because Namjoon is always the guy who has to do all the English interviews and the least Hobi could do is show up and help.
But he doesn't want to show up now. He's been trying to hide behind Yoongi, who's sitting in front of him, the entire interview. Trying to blend into the background, trying to focus when he realised none of the words around him were making sense. Accidentally slipping into headspace from the exhaustion.
He's so glad Jimin noticed. Jimin notices everything. He always takes care of everyone when they need it. Providing sweaters out of thin air when someone is cold, always being there when someone is upset and most of all just noticing, just being seen is what's making Hoseok feel so loved. And while the rest is sometimes slower to do that, they always show up. Which he's really grateful for.
He's also grateful that Jimin was his roommate during the times he was just figuring out his regression was a part of him. And that Jimin took on the role of Hoseok's main caregiver after he found out about Hoseok being a little, which he's still really happy about.
In other words, he's in good hands. And while he's not used to being seen and letting go of his worries, especially not in public, his members have got him.
So he exhales and tries to regroup during the short while he's under Jimin's care but he can't relax yet. 5 more minutes and then it's over. Hoseok sits up straight and hums a song in his head, distracting himself from the bright lights and loud voices. He feels the panic still bubbling in his chest but he ignores it, doing whatever breathing and anxiety relief exercise he can remember like inconspicuously blowing on his thumb and tapping on his collarbones and trying his hardest to have patience.
And then they're done.
And then they're backstage and Jungkook is helping him with taking off his microphone, gently unclipping it from his shirt and then going on to gather them from all the other members to be able to give them back to the staff.
And then Jimin holds Hoseok's hand, making him feel more secure, and guiding him through a door and they all end up in a dressing room where they won't be disturbed. Hoseok immediately decompresses and whines for a large hug from Jimin, sitting down with him in a corner and feeling his arms wrap nice and tightly around him. The delicious off-switch in Hoseok's brain becomes available and he automatically starts vocal stimming into the void, finally feeling himself calm down when he breathes in the smell of fabric softener and mindlessly goes beep boop into Jimin's chest.
"Hyungie," he mutters, feeling overwhelmed when he drops even further. "'M tiny."
He feels Jimin's acknowledging hum where his head is against his chest. "It's okay baby," he hears "It's all good."
He's really is quite a bit smaller than usual. He's regressed to the bottom of his range this time, which should be kind of scary. But instead he just slowly relaxes in Jimin's lap because he's being cared for, limbs becoming lax and mind becoming goo.
Once the rest of them are out of their mics, Yoongi brings him a snack he knows little Hoseok likes and wipes some hair out of his face. He then asks Jungkook for a water bottle, which he immediately starts looking for and then brings to where Hobi and Jimin are sitting.
Hoseok accepts the items, clutching onto both while Seokjin plops himself onto the ground next to him. He stretches his legs and soothingly rubs Hoseok's shoulders again while joining in on the vocal stimming, managing to dissolve the stress into easy joy.
Hoseok enjoys listening to his voice. He clicks his tongue and tries to copy his hyung's noises and blending in with the melody they're making. He smiles to himself when he recreates them perfectly and gets a compliment from Namjoon on how nice his voice sounds.
Hoseok is content. Even the guilt from before is falling off of his shoulders and he realises how silly it was to feel bad about being strict sometimes, that it was just the panic talking and making him feel bad. They all love him, that's what they're telling him.
By the time he finally realises this and really let's go of the last of his stress, Taehyung appears, seemingly out of nowhere, proudly carrying a really soft-looking stuffed animal that he presents to Hoseok, who's making grabby hands at it the moment he laid eyes on it. He hugs it tightly to his chest, wondering whatever magic trick Taehyung did to make the stuffie appear and then he hugs Jimin some more, feeling much better.
And then it's time for home.