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How could somebody be surrounded by many but still feel so alone?
A shiver crawls up my spine as the cold wind of Saint-Tropez continues to bite at my skin. Despite the thick material of wool shielding my forearms, wearing a chainmail shirt to a huge yacht party probably wasn't the wisest decision. The night seemed to drone on as more people engaged themselves in conversation with my father, their loud laughter irked me after a good hour of listening.
Nobody seemed to be actually interested in what the other had to say here, only ever focusing on what the other was wearing and if they were better than the other. I reach out to take the sparkling glass of champagne sitting on the server's metal tray, a deep sigh leaving my nostrils as I remember the hours left until this night had to end.
"What a pleasant surprise, Na." A deep masculine voice snaps me out of my thoughts, shifting my gaze to find its owner— only to be greeted by the person I've been trying to avoid. "Never thought I'd see you out here in France, especially alone.”
Jeno Lee. He hasn't changed even in the slightest— still sporting the same damned smile that made me weak in the knees, and of course, stunting Louis Vuitton and Prada even in the smallest form of accessory.
"I miss you, Jaemin." He whispered softly, a tinge of sadness hanging off his voice. Big brown eyes bore into mine, the pounding in my chest doing nothing to help me in this situation.
God, I hated looking at him. It made me want to wrap my arms around him and drown in his scent forever— Jo Malone's Lime Basil and Mandarin, if I were to remember correctly.
"You're engaged, Jeno. I don't think we should be having this conversation at all." I said, unconsciously taking a step back to distance myself from him.
"Because I was forced to! I was going to marry you, Jaemin. I promised you that, didn't I?" He exclaimed, closing in our distances. His breath fanned over my face as his height towered over me.
The yacht drew closer to the dock, relief began to spread through my chest at my ticket out of this interaction. Aware of the current state we were in, warm hands reach out to grasp my wrist, "I'll find you in Saint-Tropez, Na."
An array of flowers decorated the restaurant's windows— ranging from pink and white roses, stargazer lilies, and a whole lot of other flora. It was a nice change of scenery compared to last night's events. I could still feel Jeno’s tight grip on my wrist and his burning gaze, his last words spoken to me echoing in my head like a mantra.
I hope today isn't the day that he does.
The vintage interior provides the perfect tranquil ambiance complemented by the light scent of jasmine tea wafting in the air. It felt like the start of a good day, not until the restaurant's glass doors were pushed open by a familiar male figure. His dark hair neatly slicked back, shining Rolex on his wrist, and the tan Burberry trench coat hanging off his broad shoulders were enough to tell me who he was.
I silently thanked the heavens I paid for my meal upon ordering. My attention shifted downwards to the carpeted floors, immediately making a beeline straight for the exit. Swiftly blocking my route was none other than Jeno, a child-like smirk plastered on his handsome features. My mouth ran dry upon meeting his eyes— a weakness that we both knew of.
"Quick, I want to show you something." He didn't wait for my response and hurriedly dragged me out of the quaint restaurant.
The place was beautiful, but not quite as much as him. I couldn't deny the fact that my heart still raced at the sight of Jeno and the mere mention of his name still set me on edge.
It's been exactly a week since my arrival in France, and six days of which I'd spent with him doing God knows what. My parents had grown curious about why I'd chosen to stay in France when I resented the thought of even going there in the first place. A deep feeling of guilt sits deep within my stomach as I hold his hand in the quiet night, but it slowly fades as he runs his thumb over the skin of my hand and flashes me a warm smile. I tried to reciprocate the warmth and happiness he was radiating, but the churning of my stomach constricted the edges of my lips.
This wasn't right, he has a fiancée back in South Korea.
"We should stop this, Jeno. You're about to get married off in a few weeks, arranged or not. I don't think she'll appreciate knowing what we've been doing.”
“I don't love her." He says in a hushed voice, his hands reaching for my waist as if it could help ease the rising tension in the atmosphere.
“Jeno, I-" My words suddenly cut short as his plump lips meet mine in a hurried frenzy. This was so wrong. But I find myself unconsciously leaning into his arms, searching for the warmth of his touch.
The world seemed to stop for a moment— as if nothing could separate the two of us. A sudden flash of bright light snapped us both back to reality, quickly turning around to face the source.
"The Lee’s will pay me millions for this!”
The sun began to set in the further end of the sky, painting France beautiful shades of pink and violet. Despite my seat being the most comfortable one offered on any other airline, the flight back home to Korea had been anything but relaxing. The disappointment clear in my mother's face as she shook her head upon seeing me, and the distasteful glares I garnered while walking the bustling streets were enough to persuade me to lock myself in the comfort of my room.
Text messages and calls flooded my phone when the news of Jeno and I broke out, forever tainting my reputation and image as a dirty whore who liked going after men with fiancées. And yet, a burgundy envelope carrying the elegant invitation to Jeno and his fiancée's wedding sat heavily on my hands.
After days of contemplating my two options— risk publicly humiliating myself among the masses of rich gossiping families or simply attend to wish the couple well on their journey.
I opted to go for the latter. Choosing to ignore the death stares sent my way by most of the guests at their wedding, I couldn't believe they still continued on with the wedding regardless of the comments they'd be hearing at the reception.
The entire wedding had been nothing short of extravagant— the bride changing into a total of five dresses during the entirety of the program, flowers decorated the venue in huge amounts, from the ceilings to the centerpieces of each table. A famous singer comes to grace the couple with her presence as well, lightening the mood of each and every one.
He looked happy sitting next to his wife, a genuine grin plastered on his face as he looked down at her with what seemed like adoration in his eyes. Something swelled in my chest, I couldn't quite put a finger on what it truly was. I looked at them once more, letting my eyes linger on Jeno a little while longer.
A deep sigh escapes me as I turn to leave the venue, he wasn't free to be called mine anymore.