Chapter Text
It's Roswell's funeral.
Years of knowing, ignoring, preparing, dreading, trying to accept its arrival. But it devastates you all the same.
The sky is appropriately miserable. Thick clouds are spread across it, like you're being smothered under a herd of gray sheep.
Only a handful of people have shown up, excluding yourself and your mom there are a small group of Boars you only vaguely recognize. It seems odd that even this many people have arrived given how distant Roswell’s family always seemed to be.
///"You Should Cry"///
Moment of truth time, after all, you haven’t really bawled your eyes out after your dad died. You figure you were all cried out, but that doesn’t seem so true anymore. The last year or so since then, your attempts at crying have been slowly but surely showing signs of success. You just hope you still have more left after your last hospital visit.
You exhale slowly and start thinking about Roswell, his best and brightest moments and the devastating fact that you'd never see any of it again. Never hear his snarky voice, or see the way his eyes light up before showing you a new magic trick, you’ll never hear him say “I love you” ever again.
///"Cry"///
You thought you’d be low on tears. Turns out you still have plenty.
You can hear your mom walking back towards you in your seat, with a slightly veiled expression of misery on her face. Her tail swishes through the air anxiously. As if she wants to comfort me, but doesn’t know how to start.
It’s not immediately obvious but her eyes are red. She must’ve been crying. It’s so weird to see her like that, or maybe I just didn’t notice it before. I don’t think we were able to look each other in the eye during dad’s funeral
Carol: So where are your friends?
Dave: Dean and Sal said they’re on the way. They should be here any minute.
Carol sighs
Carol: They probably should’ve departed a bit earlier in case of traffic. Better to drive responsibly than try to speed through it.
Dave: Heh, said the ex-biker.
Dave: Stop forcing yourself to be a responsible parent, you’re fine just the way you are.
She smiles
Carol: Guess I can’t stop my little rebel huh?
Dave: Nope!
…
…
Dave: You must’ve really liked Roswell.
Carol: what?
Dave: You were crying.
Carol: I mean, it’s always sad when someone you know dies. Crying is normal
Dave: Oh C’mon mom, I can probably count the number of times you’ve cried with my paws.
Carol: Ugh, fine. Yes I liked Roswell, you loved him, your dad loved him in his own way, even Tyson liked him even if he didn’t like to show it. That little guy always had a way of getting into our good graces.
Dave: …yeah
…
Carol: Don’t worry Dave, Tyson will be fine. I’m sure he’ll be perfectly fine when he’s done being obstinate.
No way he's JUST being obstinate, but it's not like I have a better idea of why he decided not to come. But then again even if he had a good reason like Hoss that's not going to stop me from feeling a bit upset. Though maybe it'd help a bit! It's bad enough that Orlando seems to have basically disappeared off the face of the planet AND JUST LEF-
Carol: Are you ok?
Your mother's concerned face cuts through your internal thoughts as you're asked to vocalize them.
Dave: I just…I thought….I thought that I’d get to see him. One last time before going off to college. And it’s not just him, Orlando and Hoss, they should be here!
Tears start welling up again
Dave: They knew him too, and it just sucks that they can’t be here, no matter how much I want them to be. It’s just so unfair, we can’t even get Roswell’s funeral right.
You put your face in your hands and sob. Your mother holds her hands out stiffly. And you slowly but surely let yourselves be held for a moment until the sobs subside.
Carol: So... how's school going? You should be hearing back from schools around now
///"Fine"///
Dave: It’s…it's ok. I didn’t get into any of my reaches but I got into the state school and some others. So about normal I guess.
Carol: Eh, don’t sweat it too much, undergraduate doesn’t matter too much, especially when you’re going into pre-med. Just keep your head on your shoulders and you should be fine.
Dave: Yeah, yeah I know
Sal: Hi Dave Hello Mrs. Halloway, sorry we’re late.
The two of you turn your heads to see two familiar faces.
You get up and hug both of them tightly.
Dean: Oof Dave, you didn't miss us THAT much did you? We message each other everyday.
Dave&Sal: It's not the same.
Dean: Hah! Of course it isn't. I've missed you too... also yeah sorry for being a bit late, traffic was terrible. We didn’t miss anything important did we?
Dave: Oh no no, you’re fine. Eulogies are about to happen and we were just talking about the schools I got accepted into.
Dean: Oh hey good on you!
Dave: You don’t even know if I got into anywhere good.
Dean: Psh, oh please I know how much time and effort you put into your applications I’m sure any place decent will see your worth and be better off for it. Oh! Right! Are we still going to be throwing a party before you go right? I don’t know if-
Dave: Don’t worry, it’s still going to happen. After all, Roswell would’ve wanted me to be happy.
Sal: I’m sure he’s excited for the places you’ll go too.
You make small talk, catching up with your friends as lightheartedly as you could in the solemn atmosphere, and then it’s time for the eulogies. The first of which will be given by you.
Carol: Good luck with the eulogy.
Dave: Thanks
I climb up to the podium, adjusting the microphone as I look out into the small gathering of people. Standing here with this odd mix of people I may or may not recognize, I feel conflicted as I’m glad we could be connected by him, but saddened by how small this group is.
I feel like he deserves more. After all, Roswell…
///"Pushed me to be the best I could be"///
Dave: Roswell was many things, a straight A student, silly and short, and my first boyfriend. But I don’t think any of those labels really capture the breadth of his life and what impact he leaves behind. What impact he was allowed to leave behind, before the whims of fate took him away from us, his bountiful luck running dry I suppose he might say…
He didn't even get to hear that I got accepted into college. I never got to thank him for his help.
Though maybe it's a good thing he doesn't have to be disappointed that all his assistance only got me so far.
For always believing in me, for always knowing that I could grow and learn. For thinking of me so highly and holding me to that standard. For helping me see myself as more than just a smaller version of my dad.
But who are you when he’s gone too?
Roswell once told me that he tends to forget a lot of the people he meets. Those who he sees just once and then forget in a month of not seeing them. Said something along the lines of: "Hey hey Dave, when I die you better not be like me and forget me in a month, I'd prefer to be remembered just a bit longer than that lol."
Dave: And y’know…I think I can do that.