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My life is not a joke.

Summary:

Sirius isn't ready to go back to Grimmauld place for Christmas

(genders/sexualities found in series description)

Work Text:

"You know what James I have never been anything but honest with you about my gender. I haven't once pretended to be someone or something I'm not. And if you hate it then why did you bother putting up with me all these years."

"Sirius, calm down!"

"Calm down?! Did you just fucking say that. My best friend insults my very existence and I'm expected to stay calm."

"No Sirius. Just listen. I didn't mean it like that."

"It bloody well sounded like you meant it James!"

"It was just a joke. I didn't mean anything by it."

"Oh so you don't actually hate my existence, but it's all just a joke to you. Fucking brilliant. My life is not a joke James. My identity is not a joke and you cannot just go around insulting me like that because you don't agree with it."

"Sirius you know that's not true."

"Whatever James, I'm done talking to you."

Sirius turned and stormed down the stairs towards the common room.

"Wait, Sirius, come back." James called down the stairs but got no response. He set off after his friend, grabbing Sirius shoulder as he caught up at the far end of the room. There were a few people milling about or perched on the various sofas but he common room wasn't nearly as busy as usual as it was the last day before the winter holidays people were in their rooms doing last minute packing. Sirius shrugged the hand away and took a step back from James. People turned to look at the unusual behaviour of the friends, taking interest in what might happen.

James noticed the people watching so he lowered his voice. "I know you don't want to go back there Sirius."

Tears began forming in Sirius' eyes so James reached out and opened his arms to his friend. Sirius slumped against James and began to let the tears fall. Because of course  James was right. Sirius knew that James had just been joking and if it had been any other day they would have been laughing about it. But Sirius was feeling especially sensitive because the winter holidays started the next day, and that meant that Sirius would be going back to 12 Grimmauld Place to keep up the pretence that the Black's were still a united family.

James led Sirius back up the stairs supporting his friend's weight. He laid Sirius down on his own bed and sat at the end to be a reassuring presence.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you." Sirius muttered into James' bed sheets.

"Oh sorry." James put on his sarcastic voice and cocky grin. "I must have misheard, I thought I heard Sirius Black apologising."

Sirius smiled a little and swiped out an arm to hit James putting no real force behind it.

"Seriously though, I mean it. I was uncalled for I knew you were just joking around."

"It's okay." James replied. "I understand that this isn't the best time for you. To be honest I don't wan't you to go back there either."

The pair sat in silence for a while before James spoke up again.

"What if you didn't have to?"

"What?" Sirius had been dosing but sat up and turned to face James to be able to pay proper attention to him.

"Well if you never had to go back there that would solve everything, right?"

"Yeah, but it's not like I have anywhere to go. Sure my family's rich but I highly doubt they'd let me have a share of the family fortune."

"So. Money doesn't matter when you've got an amazing, talented, intelligent, handsome in a rugged kind of way, comic genius for a friend." Sirius just gave James a pointed look with eyebrows raised. "Because you can totally just stay with me for the Holidays."

"What? James, your parents.."

James interrupted, "No no, it makes total sense. You can't stay at Hogwarts because its fucking Christmas and you can't be alone at Christmas. You can't go home because your depression will get worse and I don't want to see you unhappy, especially at this time of year. So you can come stay with me. My parents will understand, and besides they love you and they'll love having you around for Christmas. You've got all your stuff here so you don't even need to go back to 12 Grimmauld Place ever again! It's perfect." James looked so excited at the prospect of being able to spend Christmas with Sirius away from the Black family home. "I'm going to send an owl to let my parents know right away!"

James got up from where he'd been sat on the bed and rushed out the room towards the owlery, ignoring Sirius' protests and looking much happier than the last time he'd been rushing out the door.

 

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