Work Text:
Darling don’t you cry
Head fast toward the light
Foolish men have tried
But only you have shown me how to love being alive
Dear Yuzu-Pooh,
Congratulations on being accepted as Yuzuru’s competition companion. I haven’t decided if I am enjoying my retirement or not yet. I might just be on a break, so watch out! For the time being, you will be the only one there for him, so here are some things I’ve picked up over the ten years I’ve been looking after him for.
Checklist of things to do at competitions
- Hold onto the boards tightly to watch Yuzuru.
Yuzu will always ask us what we thought of his skating. Although we can’t answer him, he’ll know if we missed it or not. He likes it when we hold onto the boards and watch him. If we don’t, he might slip or skate worse knowing we can’t be there. It’s important to him, which means we need to hold the boards as tightly as possible. If someone tries to remove you, fight back! (Bite them if they’re an ISU official)
- Always be full of tissues for him
This is important. Yuzuru and his mother will sometimes forget to refill us with tissues between competitions or after training. If there aren’t enough tissues for him, Yuzuru will get frustrated and train worse. When everyone is asleep, sneak down and fill yourself up with tissues so that you’re ready for the next day. Yuzuru will appreciate it!
- Be a source of comfort for him to squish
Sometimes Yuzuru can’t express himself with words, particularly in English, and after the tensions run high at competitions, it makes things more difficult for him. Having us there to squish our heads makes it easier for him to calm himself down or to reign in his emotions and make sense of his words again. Even if he’s alone, he’ll want to squish you for extra comfort so that he knows he has someone in his corner. Let him. If nothing else, this is one of your main jobs!
- Let him release excess adrenaline by shaking you
Sometimes Yuzuru will get a little bit excited, especially when he’s very excited or very frustrated. This can and will translate into him shaking us. The first few times you might feel a little bit nauseous, but you’ll get used to it in no time I promise! Like the squishing, it helps him calm down and ground himself, so it might seem like a small thing but it’s really important to Yuzuru. Plus, the fans and flower girls normally love it and think it’s cute.
- Listen to him whenever he needs
Yuzuru is quite introverted sometimes, and doesn’t always like to share when he’s struggling. We are a safe space for him to share his feelings and emotions. Although we can’t respond and tell him it’s going to be okay, and that we love him, just being there for him to listen when he needs is more than enough. He can feel that we love him. He knows we love him. And us listening to him and being there for him is our love language
Now, you’re a new tissue box cover about to go out into the world for the first time. It’s exciting! Our boy will treat you very carefully, and he’s trained Brian-san and Ghislain-san well enough to take care of you (trust me, I got dropped and abandoned A LOT at the beginning!) but there are still some dangerous things out there in the world. Be careful!
Things for Yuzu-Pooh to avoid
Dogs. Dogs are nice from afar, but too close and they might bite! Same with other animals, but dogs especially get very excited. Plus they often pant around us and might drool on us. Yucky! The fur isn’t good for Yuzuru’s lungs either, so avoiding animals in general is good. The likelihood of coming into contact with animals is low, but just keep your eyes open, okay?
Children’s sticky fingers. Like drool from animals, sticky fingers in general are not good for us. It can possibly stain us, ruining our pretty yellow and red selves, or can even make us smell! Brian-san and Ghislain-san will wash their hands before holding us normally, but try not to get too close to any children. Otherwise they might leave strawberry jam on you or something! Yuzuru will normally keep his eyes open to stop something like this from happening.
The washing machine. THIS IS THE ULTIMATE DEATH! The washing machine is the spinny wheel of torture and evil and horrible. If you get too dirty that you cannot be given a gentle sponge bath, or dry cleaned, Yuzuru’s mother might throw you in the washing machine. IT IS EVIL! EVIL I SAY! Avoid it at ALL COSTS by keeping yourself clean, or gently reminding Yuzuru to give you a sponge bath every now and again. It’s easiest to get the stain out that isn’t there, so avoiding messes is always good.
I know this is a lot for you, Yuzu-Pooh, and I imagine you’re quite nervous. The conditions for our handover have not been very good, and you’re heading out not just into a competition of unknown but into a world of unknown because of the situation. But that isn’t for you to worry about. Your job is still the same. You should support Yuzuru from the side with our silent comfort that can always be felt. The rest of the world doesn’t matter to us, okay? What matters is Yuzuru and how he performs on the ice.
This might be daunting for you, Yuzu-Pooh. You might be super excited to go out there and be the tissue box at your first competition. Or you might be absolutely terrified and tempted to jump under Yuzuru’s bed and pray he never finds you. Either way, you have a job to do. It’s your first competition, so try not to be too hard on yourself, okay? I’m here, and you can ask me anytime for advice.
I’m proud of you . I’m always proud of you Yuzu-Pooh. Please look after our boy
頑張ってください
“Old Man” Pooh-san 🍯