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Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tooru met on October 17th, 2000 at the age of 6, though Oikawa always insisted on specifying that he was 6 and 3 days short of 3 months. Iwaizumi always thought it was ridiculous, but Oikawa was his first best friend, his first friend really, so he put up with it.
When Iwaizumi’s family moved into Oikawa’s neighborhood just a few days earlier, he honestly wasn’t expecting much of it. He was excited to have a bigger room with shelves to put all his Godzilla figurines, and a bigger yard to go out and catch bugs in.
One day, though, when he was out digging in the dirt, a boy just a tad shorter than him with light brown hair came over and plopped down next to him.
“Whatcha doin’?”
Iwaizumi looked over at him with wide eyes before looking back down shyly, “Looking…”
“...for what?”
He looked back up at the boy before replying, “Bugs.”
His face immediately scrunched up into a disgusted expression, “Bugs?! Ew, why would you do that?”
“Because they’re cool…,” Iwaizumi looked down again and moved his small shovel around in the dirt, revealing a little beetle crawling around, “See! Look!”
He scooped up the dirt and held it closer to the boy, who only scrambled backward and let out a small squeal, “Ew, ew, gross! Get that thing away from me!”
Putting it back down, he wiped his hands on his pants and pulled his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, “Well I think they’re cool. What’s your name, anyway?”
“I’m Oikawa Tooru. You can call me Tooru if you want. What about you? I’ve never seen you before.”
“Iwaizumi Hajime. My family just moved here. Maybe we can be friends,” he prayed it didn’t show on his face how hopeful he was.
“Yeah! As long as you don’t put bugs on me,” Oikawa’s face morphed back into a combination of disgust and fear, and Iwaizumi couldn’t hold back his laughter.
“Okay, deal. Do you wanna come meet my mom? She said she’d make me a snack once I came inside from playing.”
“Yeah! I love snacks.”
Iwaizumi stood up from the ground and grabbed Oikawa’s hand, “Is this okay?”
Oikawa brightly smiled back up at him from his still seated position, “Yeah.”
Iwaizumi was momentarily stunned before he shook his head in an attempt to physically rid himself of his thoughts, helping Oikawa up and dragging him to the front door and into his house.
They found his mom in the kitchen chopping up some fruit, where she looked down at them with a surprised expression, “Oh! Hajime, who is this?”
“My new friend Tooru, I just met him. Can he stay for a snack?”
“Of course, of course, but, Tooru, do your parents know where you are?”
Oikawa hesitated before looking up as if he was thinking, “I don’t know.”
Iwaizumi’s mom’s face twisted into one of concern as she scooped them both up into her arms, walking back outside, “Tooru, honey, where’s your house?”
He pointed just across the street to the left, “That yellow one with the dark blue car in front.”
She sighed in relief as she walked over to the house and set them down to knock on the door. After a few moments, it opened to a distressed-looking woman who looked down with widened eyes, “Tooru! Where did you go?!”
“I met a new friend over there,” he turned around and pointed across the street before turning back to his mother.
She ended up inviting Iwaizumi and his mom in for an impromptu play date and tea, the fruit back at their house left forgotten on the kitchen counter. After they cleared up the situation and found out they’d be going to the same school come April, they set up another day for the boys to play soon.
From that day forward they were inseparable.
Any time they had to go more than a day without seeing each other they both whined endlessly to their parents asking when their next play date would be. They were much more bearable once they started school in the same class, especially since their teacher hadn’t assigned seats, so they got to sit next to each other all day. Sure, they got more than a couple of notes home about being too talkative in class, but at least they were happy.
- - -
On October 17th, 2001, Oikawa burst through Iwaizumi’s bedroom door with an abundance of energy, “Hajime, do you know what day it is?!”
“...Wednesday?”
“No Iwa-chan, it’s the one-year anniversary of the day we met!”
“What’s an Iwa-chan?”
“It’s a nickname, ugh, that’s what you’re worried about?” Oikawa whined.
“Okay, okay! That’s cool I guess. Feels like a lot longer, though.”
“I know, right? Anyway, it’s been a whole year, how should we celebrate?”
They ended up begging Iwaizumi’s mom to bake something sweet, and that’s how milk bread with strawberries and cream became the celebration food for each anniversary of their friendship. Oikawa had always had a sweet tooth, so it didn’t surprise him when he started saying it was his favorite food.
- - -
The first time Iwaizumi cried in front of Oikawa was saying goodbye before Oikawa’s family went on a three-week trip in the summer of their second year of elementary school. Since they’d met, they’d never gone that long without seeing each other, always being a few days at most, and that was just when one of them got sick.
“I’m gonna miss you,” Iwaizumi’s voice was shaky, and he could feel his bottom lip trembling.
Oikawa threw his arms around his neck, squeezing tight and whispering, “I’ll miss you, too. But don’t worry, Iwa-chan, it’s only 3 weeks. We’ve been best friends for over a year, it’s really not that long.”
Iwaizumi pulled away and nodded, rubbing a sleeved arm over his eyes to wipe away the couple of tears on his face, “Yeah, not that long.”
Once the Oikawas’ car disappeared into the distance, he counted down every day until they got back.
- - -
They started playing volleyball together in their fifth year. They were playing in gym class, and after the first time Iwaizumi spiked a ball set to him by Oikawa, they locked eyes as soon as his feet hit the ground. It was at that moment they both knew they were in love. With volleyball. It would take them a bit longer to figure out the other thing.
- - -
On October 17th, 2008, the eighth anniversary of their friendship in their second year of middle school, they brought their milk bread to school to eat at lunch. Iwaizumi’s mom had prepared it the night before and he brought it with his bento, pulling it out of his bag once they’d both finished their main meals.
“What’s that?” Another one of their friends at their table had asked.
Iwaizumi pushed the container between himself and Oikawa, replying, “Milk bread?”
The few other people they sat with looked their way, another asking, “Ooh, care to share?”
“I only have enough for us, sorry, maybe another time,” he said, knowing it’d probably never happen.
“Actually, I just remembered I was supposed to go back to class early to do something, bye Iwa-chan,” he could tell Oikawa had tensed up before rushing to shove his stuff in his bag and running to presumably head back to class.
“Oikawa, wait!” He hadn’t remembered him speaking to the teacher at all, and his mood had just changed so quickly.
Iwaizumi put the lid back on the container and stood up to go after him, before someone else chimed in, “Why don’t you just stay here, Iwaizumi, what, are you in love with him or something?”
Everyone else at the table laughed and he ignored the way his stomach lurched at the words. He tried to mask it by rolling his eyes and turning away, hoping no one was looking closely enough to notice his uneasiness.
The first place he went to check for Oikawa was the volleyball court, knowing for sure that he had been lying about needing to go back to class, but he wasn’t there either. He ended up finding him in the club room, well into the middle of their next class after lunch, laying on his back practicing sets above his head. He snapped his head up when he heard the door open, the volleyball coming down to hit him on the head. Iwaizumi would’ve laughed at him if it were any other situation.
“Oikawa, what are you doing?”
“I…nothing?”
“We don’t lie to each other, and you’d never skip out on milk bread, it’s your favorite food,” Oikawa seemed to let out a sigh at that, “What?”
“Milk bread isn’t my favorite food just because it’s good, not that it isn’t of course, but it’s my favorite because it’s our thing. It’s our thing that we’ve shared for eight years, and I don’t wanna share that with anyone else.”
“Tooru, look at me,” he waited until he looked back up, “you know that since I’ve met you, I’ve never eaten milk bread when you’re not there? Of course, I’m not gonna give those guys any, I just said that to get them off my back, it’ll always be our thing.”
“Promise?”
By this point, Iwaizumi had sat down in front of Oikawa and taken both of his hands in his own, “Forever.”
They end up skipping the rest of their class and eating milk bread in the volleyball club room.
- - -
It’s actually a lot calmer than he thought it would be. Still sudden, but more subtle than anything else. It was the short break between their third year of middle school and their first year of high school. They were watching some alien movie Oikawa put on, only fair since Iwaizumi had chosen a Godzilla one for the millionth time on their last movie night, and Oikawa’s legs were draped across his lap as they sat on the couch together.
Oikawa had paused the movie and started rambling on about some theory he had, despite the fact they’d both seen it numerous times. Whether it was actually about the movie or a real-life conspiracy, Iwaizumi had no clue, but he didn’t care either.
“Iwa-chan, are you even listening to me?”
He hadn’t even realized he was lost in thought, analyzing the slope of Oikawa’s nose and the almost unnoticeable freckles dotting across it, the way he kicked his feet lightly against Iwaizumi’s legs because he was talking about something he was interested in, the light from the sunset coming in through the blinds in slices across his face, making his brown eyes appear to glow almost golden. It was natural. He did that all the time, didn’t he?
He realized he was leaving Oikawa hanging without an answer when he retracted his legs and crossed them together, so he shook himself out of his own thoughts once more.
“Yeah, no, sorry I just…got kinda distracted,” he could feel his face heat as he said it, and hoped Oikawa didn’t notice or call him on acting weird.
“Okay, Iwa-chan. So , like I was saying…”
Iwaizumi was trying to pay attention, he really was. But if he was being honest, his brain kinda tuned Oikawa’s voice into white noise once his eyes focused on his lips. The way they moved around each syllable, the way he had to take a deep breath when he started talking too fast, the way he punctuated all his points with big hand gestures.
He started getting that familiar feeling in his stomach again, the fuzzy, excited one he always got around Oikawa. Except this time, he actually knew what it was.
- - -
It took three years after Iwaizumi realized he was in love with Oikawa to actually tell him.
In their second year of high school, there was a dance that Oikawa, Hanamaki, and Matsukawa had dragged him to. He really didn’t want to go, but they insisted that he’d have fun. Makki and Mattsun were going together, and Oikawa was going with some girl, Mika, whom he had met not even a week prior. He felt like a fifth wheel.
They got dinner at a fairly nice sit-down restaurant beforehand, where Oikawa held the door and pulled out a chair for his date. Iwaizumi was at one end of a table, while each of the couples sat next to each other, chattering away for the hour and a half that they were there.
Iwaizumi, being the only one willing to drive, was stuck in the front seat with Mika, as none of them wanted her to have to squish in the back seat with any two of the other guys. Once they got to their school and showed their tickets to go in, they settled with their things at a table and Mattsun offered to go get everyone drinks.
After a while they all got up to dance, Iwaizumi drifting over to the snack table to grab a bag of chips before sitting back down. There was an upbeat song on and Oikawa appeared in front of him, seemingly out of nowhere.
“C’mon, Iwa-chan, dance or something! Find a pretty girl and charm her with your good looks.”
He stood up and watched Oikawa jog back over to Mika, wishing he hadn’t said it in a joking manner. Going back over to refill his cup with what looked like some kind of lemonade, he heard the beginning notes of a popular, romantic slow song. He looked up and took a sip of his drink, eyes wandering over everyone in the gym.
Iwaizumi’s eyes fell on Oikawa, unsurprisingly, with his hands on Mika’s waist and looking at her with a sparkle in his eye, only seeming to want to pull her closer. He’d seen Oikawa get with countless girls over the years, so he didn’t know why this one felt like it bothered him more than usual. Maybe because the others never lasted long and Oikawa always spent his time complaining to Iwaizumi about them, but it seemed that this time, he actually liked Mika.
He couldn’t take looking at them any longer, so he downed the rest of his drink and threw the cup out, leaving the gym to go sit in the hallway. He’d been out there barely five minutes when Oikawa walked through the same door, looking down and walking over to him.
“Iwa-chan, I saw you walk out, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, Oikawa. It’s nothing, really.”
“I don’t believe you,” he could hear him start to get frustrated.
“Oh well.”
“ Hajime ,” he looked up, Oikawa never used his first name, “we don’t lie. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Iwaizumi just stared down at his hands for a moment, fiddling with his fingers. Oikawa sighed, sitting down in front of him and pulling his hands apart, only to hold them back together in his own.
“Iwa-chan.”
“I can’t, Oikawa,” he let out a sigh of his own, still avoiding any eye contact.
“Can’t what, Hajime? Tell me? I need you to talk to me, I can’t read your mind.”
He dropped his head against their tangled hands, unable to tell where one of them began and the other ended, “Sometimes it’d be easier if you could.”
As Oikawa rubbed a thumb over the back of his hand, he finally looked back up, “I can’t watch you with her, Tooru. Every girlfriend you’ve ever had, you never seemed that into them so it was easy to try and ignore, but you look like you really like Mika, and it’s just really hard.”
“Iwa-chan, what are you saying?”
Iwaizumi huffed out an unamused laugh, “I’m saying that I’m in love with you. I’ve loved you so much for so long, you have no idea. I love when you send me selfies of you and your sister whenever you go on vacation, and I love the way you blow your hair out of your eyes when it starts to get a bit too long, and I love how you always get so excited about your stupid alien movies and pause them every five seconds to go on some unrelated tangent, and yes I think they’re stupid, but I love them because you love them, and I’ll watch a million more dumb movies with you if it means I get to see the way your face lights up when your favorite character comes on screen. And I know you don’t wanna hear all this but that’s why it’s so hard for me to see you with her, and I can’t handle keeping it from you any longer. I’m sorry, Tooru, and I get it if you want some space from me, but I can’t live without you either so please, please , don’t let this ruin our friendship, I’ll never forgive myself if it does.”
Iwaizumi feels hands on his cheeks but still refuses to meet Oikawa’s eyes, not wanting to see what expression is on his face.
“Look at me,” Iwaizumi shakes his head in Oikawa’s hands and it’s only then he realizes there are tears running down his cheeks, “Haji, look at me.”
It takes all he has to force himself to look up, immediately getting lost in the swirling shades of Oikawa’s eyes, so distracting he doesn’t even notice the pair of lips against his own at first. Once he does, his eyes widen involuntarily and he just sits there in shock for a moment before he has a realization and pushes Oikawa away by the shoulders.
“Oikawa you have a girlfriend, you-”
“Silly, Iwa-chan, Mika-chan’s not my girlfriend. She just wanted to get back at her ex for cheating on her, and that guy’s a snake, so I was all for giving that bastard a little taste of revenge. Those were her leading words when she asked me out and she’s funny, she’s a good friend now, but I like you , Iwa-chan.”
Iwaizumi had no words. Oikawa leaned forward and pecked him on the lips once more, scooting over to sit next to him against the lockers and leaning his head on his shoulder.
“How long?”
“Hm?” Oikawa tangled his hands with Iwaizumi’s, starting to fidget with the rings on his fingers.
“How long have you liked me? How much time have we wasted? I’ve loved you forever , Oikawa.”
“I love you too, Iwa-chan. Eh, doesn’t matter, though, what matters is we know now.”
“I liked when you called me Hajime,” he knew his cheeks were probably redder than the punch on the snack table back in the gymnasium.
“Okay, Haji-chan. Does that make us boyfriends, then?”
“If you want to be.”
“I do,” they just stared at each other smiling for a moment, “I should probably tell Mika-chan, huh?”
Oikawa took out his phone and snapped a selfie of the two of them as he leaned over to press a kiss to Iwaizumi’s cheek, thumbs moving at a speed Iwaizumi couldn’t comprehend to type a message and send it to Mika. He put his phone back in his pocket and slumped against Iwaizumi’s side, taking his now-boyfriend’s arm and throwing it over his shoulders before interlacing their hands again.
With Oikawa by his side and his confession off his chest, Iwaizumi wondered how he possibly lived so long without this.
- - -
Iwaizumi had always been a very loose-lipped drunk, so it wasn't surprising that whenever he and Oikawa went out to bars with Makki and Mattsun, they learned more than a few new things about him. He was also very lightweight, despite what most would think, so it didn’t take much till Makki would suggest some dumb drinking game, only for Mattsun to roll his eyes and egg it on.
“Iwa, how about we play truth or drink?”
“C’mon, Makki-chan you know he’s already too drunk for this, he’ll just end up answering questions and taking shots every time no matter what the question is.”
“Isn’t that kinda the point?” Mattsun chimed in.
“It’s fine, ‘kawa, I’ll be fine, it never gets that bad, it’s all in good fun,” Iwaizumi waved him off, just like he always did. He spoke surprisingly coherently when he was drunk, not slurring his words at all no matter how wasted he was, so you’d only realize once you actually heard the bullshit spewing out of his mouth.
“Fine, Iwa-chan, but don’t blame me when you end up saying something you’ll regret,” Oikawa held his hands up defensively.
“Alright, first question! What do you hate most about Oikawa?”
“Hey!”
“How pretty he is,” Iwaizumi dropped his head heavily against Oikawa’s shoulder, “it’s infuriating.”
“Oh, c’mon, we can never get anything juicy out of you when it’s about him,” Makki grumbled.
“Then don’t make it about him,” Mattsun tried to placate.
“What else does our dear Iwa have going on? It feels like his whole world revolves around Oikawa.”
“It does,” Iwaizumi said with the purest smile.
“Oh, shut up, you sap. Who was your first crush?”
“Oikawa.”
“Of course it was. Which one of you fell first?” Makki had been desperately grasping at straws, already having exhausted the more interesting questions at all their previous outings.
Iwaizumi practically yelled, “It was me,” at the same time Oikawa said, “Me, duh.”
Oikawa fixed him with a look, “Haji, there’s no way you fell first.”
“I love when you call me that,” he had stars in his eyes, “and yes, of course it was me, you’ve always been so beautiful how could I ever resist you?”
“Okay, okay, no need to inflate his ego any more than it already is,” Makki groaned.
“Why, when did you start liking me, Tooru?” Iwaizumi seemed to be completely ignoring Makki and Mattsun’s presence at that point.
“Since our fifth year when you split a cookie and gave me the bigger half, do you know how hard it was for me to wait till our second last year of high school for you? Ugh, eating cookies never felt right after that if I wasn’t splitting them with you.”
“And you called me ‘silly Iwa-chan’ when I confessed…,” Iwaizumi shook his head in amusement.
“What do you mean?”
“I’d like to put it on the record, and yes, you can quote me on this, that I have been in love with Oikawa Tooru since the second I first laid my eyes on him on October 17th, 2000,” he punctuated his statement with an obnoxiously loud kiss smacked to Oikawa’s cheek, goofy smile not slipping off his face for a second.
“Are you kidding me?”
“I’ve loved you for longer, Tooru, deal with it,” he obviously held a sense of pride in the fact.
“How would you even remember that? We were six,” Oikawa seemed bewildered.
“I remember the exact moment like it was yesterday, Toto, you sat down and asked me about my bugs, and then I asked if you wanted to come meet my mom and have a snack-”
“Damn, you met the parents on day one,” Mattsun snorted.
“-and then I grabbed your hand to bring you inside and you looked at me with this smile, god your smile, it’s brighter than the sun. I had to stop for a few seconds because I was just stunned, still am, I could stare at you forever,” Iwaizumi finished with a dreamy sort of look in his eyes.
“Iwa-chaaaaan,” Oikawa whined, “if you don’t stop you’re gonna make me cry.”
“You’re still really pretty when you cry.”
Makki and Mattsun let out sighs in unison, realizing that it wouldn’t be much longer till the two stumbled back to their shared apartment, with Oikawa supporting most of Iwaizumi’s weight.
Iwaizumi had woken up the next morning to a pounding headache and the smell of bacon wafting from the kitchen. He got up in just his sweatpants and left their room to find Oikawa standing over the stove in front of a few pans. Walking up behind him to wrap his hands around his waist, Iwaizumi leaned forward to plant a kiss on Oikawa’s cheek.
“Mornin’.”
“Morning, Iwa-chan. How’d you sleep?” Oikawa turned off the dials on the stove and reached over to grab a couple of plates, setting the food on each one and dragging Iwaizumi over to the table.
“Fine, I guess. Would’ve been better waking up with you,” he smirked at Oikawa’s scoff and red cheeks, “thanks for the food, though.”
Once they were both done eating, Iwaizumi started to stack their plates to bring to the sink before Oikawa stopped him with a hand on his arm, trailing down to rest on top of his hand.
“Did you mean what you said last night?”
Iwaizumi paused, everything that happened flying through his head all at once, “...what did I say last night?”
Oikawa looked down, but his hold on Iwaizumi’s hand only tightened, “Have you really been in love with me since the day we met?”
He placed his hand on Oikawa’s first, hoping to relinquish any possible seed of doubt in his mind, “Tooru, I have been infatuated with you since the day we met. Since the moment I saw you, there hasn’t been a day that goes by that you haven’t run circles around my head, taken up half the space in my mind. Even during our petty little fights, hell, especially when we fought because I couldn’t handle being mad at you for more than five damn minutes,” he laughed as he brought their hands to his face and kissed Oikawa’s knuckles, “anytime we get into any kind of thing, I always see something that reminds me of you, it’s like a sign I swear, and I remember that’s why I have to go back to you, figure out what went wrong, whatever it was. Because I can’t look at anything without you crossing my mind and I’d give up anything before having to live a life without you in it.”
Iwaizumi looked up to see tears running down Oikawa’s face, pulling them both up from the table and wrapping his arms around him, “Hey, hey, ‘kawa, it’s okay, don’t cry.”
Oikawa sniffled and burrowed his face into Iwaizumi’s neck, “I love you so , so much, Hajime.”
All they could do was stand there until their legs got tired, and even then they just sat on the couch and didn’t dare let each other go.
That night when they were getting ready for bed, Iwaizumi went to the spot he always hid Oikawa’s smaller Christmas presents, behind all his Godzilla DVDs in a secret compartment he came across one day in their TV stand, and pulled out the small box he’d had hidden there for months.
As Oikawa sat on the edge of their bed, Iwaizumi knelt on the floor in front of him, looking up at him with a soft smile on his face, “Hi.”
“Hey,” Oikawa only reflected his expression.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, Haji,” his smile only widened as he said the words right back.
“You’re my favorite person,” Iwaizumi took Oikawa’s hands like he’d done a million times before, “god, I always spoil you with these little speeches.”
“You really don’t have to,” Oikawa chuckled.
“I do, though! And you deserve it, so don’t you dare try and tell me it’s not necessary. I always spill all my thoughts to you, though, so I don’t really know what to say now, I don’t have a plan,” he looked up at the ceiling for a second, hoping for something to come to him before he kept going, “but I don’t need one. I could go on about you for hours, you know that.”
“And you do when you’re drunk.”
“I can’t say you’re wrong because you’re not but… that’s not the point. The point is I love you, and I don’t need to say I want to spend the rest of my life with you because I know I will. We’ll grow old together, and till the day I die you’ll always be my first choice.”
“Till the day you die? That’s a long commitment, Iwa-chan.”
“One I’d make in this life and every single one after it,” he took one hand to reach in his pocket and take out the box, opening it to reveal a simple, thin gold band, “Tooru, I am so madly in love with you, will you let me marry you?”
Oikawa just stayed silent and Iwaizumi started to get nervous, squeezing his hand with the one not holding the ring box, “‘Kawa?”
“Iwa-chan, I know you did not just propose to me in my pajamas,” he took both his hands back to cover his face as his shoulders shook, and Iwaizumi couldn’t tell whether it was from laughter, tears, or both.
“I-,” he started before Oikawa cut him off with a kiss.
“That’s not even a question, of course I’ll marry you, but what the fuck ,” he sobbed into Iwaizumi’s shoulder, who could only laugh in response.
“I love you so much, Tooru, you’ll never understand.”
“I love you more,” he managed to croak out.
“I’ve loved you longer.”
- - -
Iwaizumi was in the shower when he got the call. His phone was on his desk, though, so he didn’t hear it or notice till he got out.
13 missed calls from Hinata Shouyou
7 missed calls from Bokuto Koutarou
78 messages in ‘Seijoh 4 (past tense)’
He went to call Hinata back since he knew Oikawa had been hanging out with him and the rest of the guys from the MSBY Black Jackals that day.
“Iwaizumi-san! Finally!”
“Hinata, what’s going on?” He put his phone on speaker and back onto his desk as he carelessly rummaged through his drawers to find something to wear.
“Oikawa-san is in the hospital! We were just playing a little three-on-three when he landed funny after a serve and tweaked his ankle or his knee or something. It doesn’t seem that bad, I don’t think, they’re doing a bunch of tests right now, though,” Hinata talked so fast that Iwaizumi almost couldn’t keep up with what he was saying.
“ Shit , I always tell him to not overwork himself and be careful with his knee and he never listens. Is everyone there? Where are you?”
Hinata told him where the hospital they were at was located, assuring him that everyone they had been hanging out with, plus Makki and Mattsun, were all sitting in the waiting room.
“Okay, okay, I’ll be there in ten,” he hung up with Hinata and quickly slipped his shoes on, absentmindedly checking his pockets for his wallet and keys before bolting out the door and sprinting to the hospital.
He arrived exactly nine minutes and 53 seconds later, out of breath and panting, and looking around frantically until he saw Bokuto waving him over.
“Hey, what’s up with ‘kawa? Hinata said he tweaked his knee but you don’t go to the hospital for just a tweak, Bo,” Iwaizumi could hear the sense of urgency in his own voice.
“I know, Iwa, I think they just put him in a room after some sort of scan,” Bokuto rested a heavy hand on his shoulder in an attempt at comforting him.
“Well, let me see him.”
“I think you have to ask at the front-”
Iwaizumi didn’t let him finish his sentence before running over to the receptionist, rapidly tapping his fingers against the counter even as she looked up at him, “How can I help-”
He knew he was being rude by interrupting her, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, “I need to see Oikawa Tooru.”
She seemed to glance down at the clock on her monitor for a moment before replying, “I’m sorry, at this time we usually only allow family members to visit patients in their rooms.”
“He’s my fiance, I think I’m considered family,” he was starting to get fed up, he just wanted to see Oikawa and know that he was okay.
The receptionist’s eyes widened at that and Iwaizumi resisted the urge to roll his, “Oh! Okay, just give me one second,” she typed something into the computer and clicked around a couple of times, “okay, Oikawa Tooru, room 401, that’s gonna be the fourth floor, first room once you get off the elevator.”
He huffed out a ‘thank you’ and turned around to rush towards the elevators, hitting the button for the fourth floor no less than six times once he got in, impatience only growing more by the minute.
The wait to get to the fourth floor seemed like it took forever, but once he finally did, he got out and immediately started taking long strides to check the names on the first doors on both sides, feeling only slight relief when he saw Oikawa’s name on the left. He knocked lightly on the door, not wanting to wake Oikawa up if he was sleeping, and heard a muffled, “Yeah?” in reply.
He opened the door with perhaps a little too much ferocity and was met with the sight of Oikawa laying in a hospital bed.
“Iwa-chan came to visit me!” His voice was a bit scratchy and his eyes were rimmed red, obviously having been crying despite his seemingly cheerful attitude.
Iwaizumi walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed, taking both of Oikawa’s hands in his own, “Tooru, what happened?”
“I’m fine, Iwa-chan, don’t worry, I’ll be okay in no time. It’s really not a big deal.”
Iwaizumi could tell he was trying to compensate with constant reassurance, probably trying to convince himself of his words too. He could see right through him. All it took for Oikawa to crack was a tilt of Iwaizumi’s head and the downturn of his lips, matched with scrunching eyebrows and a subtly tightening hold on his hands.
“Haji.”
“Tooru.”
Oikawa broke eye contact and stared down to play with the ring on Iwaizumi’s finger, “It’s not good, Haji,” his voice was strained and his eyes became glassy.
“Talk to me, ‘kawa,” Iwaizumi tried not to show his impatience.
“I just landed funny. Wrong angle, shitty timing, I don’t know. I thought it was just a knee sprain at the worst, which it is but,” he looked back up with tears suddenly streaming down his face, “they found a liposarcoma, Hajime. I’m gonna have to get surgery. I won’t be able to play for months.”
“You’re gonna be okay, though, right? What’s a couple months when we have the rest of our lives? Because you’re gonna be okay, you have to be,” he knew how desperate he sounded.
Iwaizumi felt Oikawa’s hands leave his, only for them to return seconds later against both his cheeks, “I’ll be fine, Haji. I will. I promise.”
- - -
Oikawa was okay. A few weeks after they found it, he had his surgery and got the liposarcoma removed. He was stuck in bed for a while and Iwaizumi absolutely spoiled him when he wasn’t working, making breakfast in bed and preparing lunches for when he’d be gone; decorating their living room with rose petals and candles when Oikawa was too mentally drained to go out on a real date; sitting in bed and making Pinterest boards for whenever their wedding was going to be, but they were in no rush because they had all the time in the world. Routine checkups made him anxious every time, but they always seemed to make Iwaizumi even more anxious, who was always there with a hand to hold. He was fine.
About a year after the surgery, he was fully healed and they were heading in for one of their checkups. He’d always told Iwaizumi they were only looking at him, but he insisted they call them ‘our’ checkups, because, “I’m not okay unless you’re okay.”
It had been a few months since his last one, so he was getting anxious again, and Iwaizumi could tell, “It’s okay, ‘kawa, it’s fine, we’ve done this tons of times already, this is nothing new.”
“It feels like it’s been so long, though,” Iwaizumi could feel Oikawa’s grip on his hand tighten as they sat in the waiting room of the doctor’s office, “and I know this whole thing has only been like a year, but it’s all been so much it feels like forever.”
Throughout all the appointments they’d had since the surgery, everything was fine and normal, they said he was healing just as he should have been. So when the doctor walked in the room with a look on her face that made it obvious something was wrong, they were shocked to say the least.
“I have some bad news,” she was professional, so they knew she would get right to the point without sugarcoating it, “it turns out the tumor you had last year was malignant, so it’s now metastasized to your lungs.”
She gave them a moment to process before continuing, “This seems to be the only spot it’s spread to, though, which is a good sign. There are a few options to consider, which we can go over.”
“He’ll be okay, right?”
“Obviously, I can’t give any guarantees, Iwaizumi-san, but I can say we’ve handled worse and that we’ll do whatever we can to help Oikawa-san get better.”
“Okay,” he took a deep breath, “okay.”
Oikawa didn’t say much the whole time, and Iwaizumi couldn’t really say he understood, because he didn’t, but he knew how it was affecting himself, so he could only imagine how Oikawa felt. He never tried to force anything out of him, though, that would probably only make things worse. All he could do was be there for him.
Iwaizumi tried not to get his hopes up or expect anything in particular, but he’d always been something of an optimist despite his grumpy-looking exterior. He’d always been glad he didn’t immediately see the worst in a situation or get overwhelmed with negative thoughts, but that didn’t help very much when Oikawa didn’t get better. He’d never been spiritual or religious in any capacity, but he found himself praying to whoever might be listening that he wouldn’t lose the love of his life so early in their journey through the world together. Despite his countless calls, he never got an answer.
It was their last day before Oikawa was to be admitted as an inpatient, and Iwaizumi was surprising him with a trip to a butterfly garden in Tokyo.
“Iwa-chan, how much longer?” Oikawa whined.
“Almost there, ‘kawa, I promise.”
As he pulled into a parking spot, Iwaizumi could hear a small gasp escape Oikawa’s mouth, and he looked over at him to see wide eyes and a look of subtle amazement, though he was obviously trying to tone it down.
“Excited?” he teased.
“Shut up, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa whined as he slapped Iwaizumi’s arm.
As they made their way to the entrance, he grabbed ahold of Oikawa’s hand and didn’t let go the entire time they were there. He would read descriptions from the informational stands as Oikawa’s eyes followed paper-thin wings. Oikawa would forget they were holding hands and swing Iwaizumi’s arm to point at a butterfly he’d spotted hidden between a couple flowers of the same color. They got a few dirty looks from some visitors for being loud, and fond ones from others, but Iwaizumi didn’t care either way. All that mattered was that he was with Oikawa. It’s all that ever mattered.
At the far end of the biggest area of the butterfly garden was a stand serving boba. He’d read about it beforehand, and knew Oikawa would beg for them to get some, so as soon as they spotted it, Iwaizumi told him to find one of the small tables to sit at while he went and got them drinks. Just a few minutes later, he came back with something obscenely sweet for Oikawa, and something more on the subtle side for himself.
As he sipped his tea, all he could do was look at Oikawa, even if he never met his gaze. Oikawa continued to look around, pointing out the butterflies that matched the colors of his fruit-flavored drink, and Iwaizumi only had eyes for him.
“See, Haji, look, that one is exactly the same color as the mango boba!”
“Tooru?”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, Iwa-chan,” his smile matched Iwaizumi’s own, and his cheeks darkened to the color of the strawberry smoothie in his cup.
- - -
On September 19th, 2018, Oikawa Tooru entered the hospital as an inpatient. Iwaizumi spent all his free time with him, whether it was a day he worked or not. He not-so-infrequently also ended up calling out of work to spend more time with him.
“Iwa-chan, you really don’t need to visit me so much, you must be so exhausted after work sometimes,” Oikawa said with a slight pout as they sat next to each other in his hospital bed, ignoring the movie playing on Iwaizumi’s laptop.
“Absolutely not, I already wanna spend every second of every day with you for the rest of my life, and no way am I letting you be by yourself in a hospital of all places. Don’t think I’ve forgotten how you always asked my mom to let me go to all your doctor’s appointments with you, not to mention how I’d go insane if I had to go more than a day without seeing you.”
Iwaizumi reached a hand up to comb through Oikawa’s hair as he played with the ring on Iwaizumi’s finger, “I love you, Haji.”
Iwaizumi scooted impossibly closer and, for the first time, considered that maybe they didn’t have all the time in the world. He pushed the thought away and leaned his head against Oikawa’s saying, just barely above a whisper, “I love you, too.”
A week later, Iwaizumi walked into Oikawa’s room the minute visiting hours started, visibly excited. “You seem to be in a good mood Iwa-chan, what’s up?”
“I got you something,” he took something from behind his back and presented it to Oikawa, “it’s a butterfly growing kit. You put the caterpillars in this mesh net kind of thing and give them sugar water, and watch them grow into whole butterflies, then release them. I figured it could be something cool to do while you’re stuck here.”
He had started bouncing on the balls of his feet, fingers tapping against the sides of the box, and Oikawa thought it was absolutely adorable.
“I know you never liked bugs all that much, but you always had this look of…I don’t know, something like wonder whenever we saw butterflies. You’d always follow them with your eyes till we couldn’t see them, anymore.”
“You’re quite the observer,” Oikawa chuckled.
“I notice everything about you,” he tilted his head to the side and smiled with what could only be described as pure fondness.
They set up the net and watched every day as the caterpillars ate and grew and eventually formed their chrysalises, eagerly awaiting the day they’d be able to release them.
“You know what I never told you, Iwa-chan?”
Iwaizumi hummed to show he was listening.
“The day after we met, I thought about that beetle you shoved in my face and made my mom buy me an insect encyclopedia. Just so I could try to see what you found so fascinating about them, she thought I was crazy. I still never understood the appeal, but if I had to pick a favorite, it would have to be butterflies.”
Iwaizumi wrapped his arm around Oikawa’s waist and tilted his head up to press a kiss against his jaw. “Any specific kind, or just butterflies in general?”
“I always thought bluebottles were really pretty. The contrast between the colors, and the teal reminded me of our school’s colors.” They both smiled and silently reminisced on their high school days for a few moments.
“Can I say something kinda weird?”
“Everything you say is weird, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa rolled his eyes and they both laughed for a second.
“No, but seriously.” They had just recently gotten the news that Oikawa had just a few more weeks left, at most.
“Yeah, Haji, say whatever you want.” Oikawa squeezed his hand and gave him a reassuring smile.
“Sometimes, I… I think about how if I hadn’t been out digging for bugs that day, we might not have met, or at the very least, wouldn’t have met as soon as we did. I think about that beetle and I think you and it are kinda one and the same, you know why? Because even if you couldn’t be here for the whole thing, I’m gonna be thinking about you for the rest of my life.”
He had shifted his gaze to where he was playing with Oikawa’s hands and looked back up to see his eyes glassy and bottom lip quivering, “Till the day you die?” His voice wavered and cracked on the last word.
“Till the day I die.” He surged up to kiss Oikawa, tasting the hospital cafe’s coffee from that morning on his lips, and despite the burnt tinge, it was still so sweet.
- - -
On October 15th, 2018, the butterflies broke from their chrysalises, and Iwaizumi and Oikawa watched them fly away from the balcony of the third-floor room.
- - -
On October 17th, 2018, the 18th anniversary of Iwaizumi’s friendship with Oikawa, he took the entire day off to spend with him. He found himself standing at the register of Oikawa’s favorite bakery, first thing in the morning, to get his hands on some milk bread before heading to get some strawberries and cream. He wouldn’t let anything break their tradition.
Iwaizumi was informed as he was checking in at the front desk that Oikawa woke up especially weak, so he was hoping the milk bread would cheer him up a bit.
He lightly knocked on the door before walking in, taking in the sight of Oikawa, dark bags under his eyes and face slightly pale.
“Hey, love,” he sat down next to him on his bed, letting the pastry box sit on a small side table, “happy anniversary.”
Oikawa smiled and snuggled into his side, “Do I smell milk bread?”
“From Keisuke’s, of course. You wanna have it now or later?”
“Hmm, later. I already had breakfast, I just wanna sit with you for a bit. Couldn’t sleep much last night, so ‘m super tired.” Oikawa’s words started to become barely comprehensible mumbles, as they often did when he was tired. Iwaizumi had had 18 years to get used to it, though, so he understood him perfectly. He made sure they were both comfortable before letting his eyes close and drifting into a light slumber.
He woke up just a few hours later with a heavy weight against his chest. He looked down and ran his fingers through Oikawa’s hair, just as soft as ever. It took a few moments for him to realize Oikawa hadn’t stirred in the slightest. He gently lifted him off his body and got off the bed, standing over him with his hands hovering around his head frantically before settling on his shoulders with a slight shake, “‘Kawa?”
His eyes filled with tears; he knew what was happening, knew it was reality, but he refused to believe it. “C’mon, baby, wake up, yeah?”
He moved his hands to Oikawa’s face and instinctively flinched at how cold it was. “Tooru, please,” he begged as his tears started to fall. He leaned down and rested his forehead against Oikawa’s as sobs wracked his body uncontrollably. His shoulders shook and he rubbed his thumbs across Oikawa’s cheeks, trying to soothe one who could no longer feel him.
Iwaizumi picked up Oikawa’s hand and kissed his knuckles just under where his engagement ring sat. He dropped to his knees and cupped Oikawa’s cheeks once more, pressing one last kiss to his lips and whispering, “Goodbye, my love.”
He left the room to get a doctor, not caring about the obvious puffiness of his eyes or the tear tracks still streaming down his face. Once they told him there was nothing left for him to do, he left the hospital, looking back just once before pushing forward and heading back to his apartment, where he would stay for weeks, barely eating or doing anything when Makki and Mattsun weren’t barging in to make sure he was taking care of himself.
He wanted to be angry. At Oikawa, at himself, at the doctors. He tried to be angry. But all he could feel was an overwhelming emptiness, a void in his heart that nothing in the world could ever possibly hope to fill.
- - -
Today, Iwaizumi celebrates the 50th anniversary of his friendship with Oikawa. Of his love for Oikawa. He sits next to where Oikawa had been buried under a bush of asters in the very butterfly garden they visited all those years ago, a small plate of milk bread in his hand.
He sees a small flutter out of the corner of his eye before a common bluebottle lands on the end of his fork. He smiles softly and brings it a bit closer to his face. “Hey, love.”
He kept his promise. Not a day went by that he didn’t think about Oikawa, the first and only love of his life. He loved him longer. He loved him every single day and would continue to do so until the day he died.