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the repeated whistling of arrows and the sound of them hitting the target could be heard from the training grounds. after hours of this, the tengu warrior kujou sara dropped their bow, breathing hard as they glared daggers at the target. only one of their arrows hit the bullseye. they were off their game.
and the raiden shogun, who sara just noticed had been watching for the past half an hour, saw this too. sara turned to her archon, surprise showing on their face for a split second before they knelt, head bowed. "your excellency— i'm sorry you had to see such a pathetic display." if their head was raised, they would have seen the way the shogun's lips twitched into a small frown at the use of her title.
"you may call me ei, sara, as i've said before." hearing her name— her first name— with no title coming from the god's lips had sara's face heating up; they tilted their head down even more to hide the sudden pinkness of their face.
"right... my apologies then, ei," the awkward way the name tumbled from their lips was not nearly as smooth as ei had said theirs, but it seemed to please her nonetheless. "w-was there something you needed?"
"i was taking a walk. i heard arrows coming from here and i assumed it must've been you." ei smiled softly at her general, despite their eyes still being trained on the ground. she walked forward, crouching in front of sara. they looked at ei, eyes narrowed with confusion.
"i see. i apologize—"
"don't."
"p-pardon?"
"you needn't apologize so much. i've noticed it's something you do a lot." sara bit their tongue, resisting the temptation to apologize for apologizing.
"right. well, now that you're here... did you just want to talk?" ei hummed, standing up and motioning for sara to do the same. they scrambled to stand up, back straight and shoulders back automatically. they clasped their hands behind their back and watched ei as she scooped up sara's bow that lay on the ground. she inspected it, unaware of sara's shoulder muscles tightening. their shoulders were practically tucked up to their ears with tension. their bow was off-limits for anyone to touch, and though they trusted ei, it didn't ease their anxiety.
"i was thinking." she tested the string, drawing it back a good amount before setting it back down. sara subtly let out a sigh of relief, closing their eyes for just a moment. "this might seem forward— no, it /is/ forward. you don't have to say yes, but i wanted to see your wings. i haven't seen them in... hm, since i first saw you actually. i just want to see them again."
and how was sara supposed to deny their archon?
—
ei had them sitting on her futon while she sat behind them, a good amount of distance between them so sara could unfurl their wings. it had been years since they last showed their wings to someone. even when they had shown them to their adoptive family, it was different than it was now, with ei.
she reached forward slowly, sara could feel it, and pressed down lightly on the spot beneath their shoulder blades, where their wings would unfurl from. sara let out a sharp exhale, lightning shooting up their spine with just that simple touch. ei didn't take her hand back, just continued with her light touches. sara flinched away from the touch finally, eyes closed tightly. ei withdrew her hand and watched them.
"sara, are you alright? was that too much?" sara grit her teeth, still feeling the phantom touch of ei's gentle hand.
"i... i'm fine. i'm sorry, ei." they straightened back up, taking five deep breaths. "i'll let them out now. make sure you're not too close." ei stayed silent, leaning back as she waited. their wings burst out, a few stray feathers floating slowly to the ground. ei gasped as she covered her mouth. sara leaned forward, spreading their wings fully and getting reacquainted with using the muscles required to move them. sara could feel ei's eyes on the jet black wings, could feel the amazement radiating from her as she watched.
"sara... no one has taken care of your wings in a long time, have they?" she asked softly. sara's breathing had picked up as they ignored the question, tears pricking at the eyes. they squeezed them shut tight as ei reached out again. sara realized, belatedly, that she was going to touch them. by the time they realized this, it was too late, and ei stroked her bottom right one so softly it almost felt like sara had imagined it. but they didn't. it was worse than when she had touched their skin, the reaction instantaneous as the tengu doubled over, one hand gripping the blanket they sat on. a loud, unrestrained whimper slipped past their lips.
ei moved her hand away from their wings, instead placing it on their shoulder and squeezing. "sara, breathe." she had leaned forward, lips brushing their ear as she murmured the words. "deep breaths. just relax. it's alright." sara did their best, hyperventilating and sucking in shallow, greedy breaths. they weren't sure if ei's presence being so close was helping or making it worse, but they didn't move away this time. once their breathing was under control, they sat up straighter, though not as as practiced and perfect as they usually were.
they couldn't see the hand that brushed their cheek, but it was a welcome touch as ei trailed the back of her fingers down their face and jaw. "you're alright, darling. do you want to stop?" sara's wings were still out, though tucked against their back now. ei didn't dare to touch them any further and instead laid her cheek on their shoulder, brushing strands of hair away from her general's face.
"it's fine— i'm okay. i apologize for my outburst." their voice was quiet as well, wavering slightly despite their best efforts.
"you don't have to apologize, little bird. it really has been a long time since you were treated gently." she stated it like a fact, not a question. she knew she was right. "did something happen?" ei touched the part of their right wing that stuck out at an awkward angle, not quite moving the same way as their other wings. sara didn't react so grandly this time, just rolling their shoulder and sighing softly.
"when i fell, i landed on my right side. the wing broke and none of the kujou's knew how to treat it. it healed incorrectly." ei frowned as she pet the wings, flattening the ruffled feathers.
"i am so sorry about your childhood. i... am sorry that i did nothing to help you." sara said nothing, no empty words, no 'there's nothing you could've done'. it doesn't matter; ei has done plenty to show she cared about them since.
like now. it felt so nice to have ei's lips pressed against her shoulder, hands placed gently on her forearms. sara sighed, eyes slipping closed. the silence was welcome, like a blanket being pulled over them as they settled into the cozy feeling.
they startled when that silence was abruptly disturbed, ei's voice feeling too loud right next to their ear.
"you can talk to me about your childhood anytime. if you need to." she paused, hands rubbing up and down their arms. "you can talk to me about anything, sara. i'll always be here for you. you are more than a general to me and i sincerely hope you know that. you... you are my everything, sara. you mean everything to me."
the unexpected words shot through sara like the arrows they were all too familiar with— piercing their heart in much the same fashion sara had pierced their enemies in the name of the almighty shogun— /their/ almighty shogun. sara titled their head down, willing the tears to go away. despite the discipline they had worked so tirelessly for years to aquire, it did not work. the tears slid down their cheek, falling onto ei's hands. she didn't flinch, simply brought her hand up to wipe away the tear rolling down sara's other cheek.
"i don't mean to force you to say anything of course. but i would appreciate you trusting me with your past."
"yes." sara paused, shaking their head subtly before continuing. "i mean, yes, i'll tell you." ei smiled and sat up, her head leaving sara's shoulder which made the tengu pout slightly. soon though, ei's hands reached out and slowly pet sara's wings, hesitantly like she was afraid to hurt them. sara sighed softly, leaning forward as their back arched towards ei.
"when you're ready, my love."
"i..." sara took another moment to gather themself before talking. "the kujou clan had only sons. they weren't... ready to deal with a daughter, much less a tengu. so i was raised as a son, not a daughter. my relationship with gender has always been complicated. i don't—" their breath caught in their throat and they had to pause again. ei's hand continued stroking their wings as she waited. she knew this was hard for sara, she wouldn't rush them.
"i don't feel like a woman. but i'm not a man. that's why i identify as non-binary, as you know." ei nodded, leaning forward to rest her head on sara's shoulder again. they seemed to like this position, she noted, as their shoulders relaxed fully and their voice leveled out when they talked.
"it was hard. it is still hard, to know that some will see me as a woman when i am not one. but i remember i have you. i have people that care about me. who know me.
it feels odd to admit that. i never felt like i truly fit in with the kujous'. takayuki never cared for me like he did his sons," they spoke, their voice softer now. ei looked at their face, observing the way their eyes were half-closed. it was hard for them to open up, but ei being so close to them made them feel relaxed, overriding the uncomfortable feeling they had. "but despite my flaws and my baggage i carry, you care about me, not just as a general... but as a partner."
sara turned around with a smile on their face, hand coming up to cradle ei's cheek. "i love you, ei." the archon leaned into the touch as sara leaned forward. "ei... i really want to kiss you."
"then kiss me, my love."
and they did. sara pressed their lips to ei's, the contact making their lips tingle. the tengu sighed happily into her mouth and moved their hand to cup the back of her neck. ei pulled away after some time, movement behind sara catching her eye. she hid a giggle behind her hand as sara stared at her with a confused expression.
"s-sorry," she spoke through her giggles. "it's just... your wings are getting a little excited." sara straightened up, looking behind them at their wings that were flapping happily. ei watched as their face flushed, turning their cheeks a lovely shade of pink, and couldn't hold back her laughs. it was like watching a dog try to act calm with its tail wagging furiously.
after a moment, once she had quieted down, ei tugged sara forward and kissed them again. once they were apart, ei leaned her forehead against sara's and smiled softly. "come, lay down. tell me more about your childhood, maybe a nice story you have?" sara agreed, their wings still out but finally calmed down, and laid next to their lover.
they told her stories about flying or whatever else came to their mind until ei fell asleep in her arms, lulled by their gentle voice, and sara soon followed suite. it was the most comfortable either of them had felt in a long time.