Work Text:
London, England
Hermione stood in the middle of her living room gripping her wand so tightly her fingers were cramping. She flexed her fingers around her wand and took a deep breath. “Ronald Weasley, I will give you one chance to amend your statement.” She didn’t add an or else, it was implied, and written all over her mannerisms.
Harry sat in the wingback chair in the corner near Hermione’s extensive bookshelves silently reading the titles. “Ron, you know not to piss off Hermione.”
“All I’m saying is that maybe it’s time that you slow down working and consider setting our wedding date. We’re 23, Ginny and Harry are already married and are expecting their second baby. What the hell are we doing? Nothing! We’re doing nothing. We’re not getting married, we’re not having a baby, you’re only focused on this stupid werewolf legislation.”
“And that was the wrong thing to say.” Harry muttered.
“OUT! Get out! Get away from me. Row yourself across the ocean. I am done with you!” With a crack Hermione’s wand snapped and Ron vanished.
“You did it again.”
Hermione knew she should probably be upset by her unintentional magic. But really, she couldn't muster the energy to care. “Where do you think he ended up this time? Also, could you apparate us to Olivander’s?”
“You do realise that you do more involuntary and wandless magic when you are angry, right?”
Hermione looked at her broken wand, “I really should practise wandless more so that I stop breaking wands. I think Olivander is getting tired of fixing them.”
Harry put an arm around her shoulders giving her a side hug. “Ron always seems to have a way of putting his foot in his mouth.”
“Harry,” Hermione sighed, “you know I love the idiot, but I think it’s time he and I parted ways. Romantically at least.”
“Wherever Ron is, I think he might agree with you on this.”
~~~
Myrtle Beach, SC
Pansy laid out her towel on the sand and added a few charms along with it to keep it from curling or the sand from invading her space. As much as she loved the beach, she was not a fan of the sand being all up in her suit or on the towel. Being that it was only a little after eight in the morning she didn’t feel the need to cast a privacy bubble just yet. The beach would get crowded later, but this early it was sparse with people.
She laid down on her towel and opened her book while listening to the waves as they crashed gently into the shore. Muggle romance novels were her secret guilty pleasure. If her stuck-up pure blood parents knew that she enjoyed something muggle she was certain it would either lead to them disowning her or put them in an early grave. It didn’t matter to them that the wizarding world was changing, they were stuck in their ways and refused to change. While Pansy was slowly exploring all things muggle.
~~
An hour later and a hundred pages into The Trouble With Mistletoe, Pansy was rudely interrupted by a falling person. The person fell with such force that she felt it test the bounds of her charms on the towel.
The idiot had her legs pinned under their body and they did not seem to be moving. Pansy cursed having not set the privacy charm that would have prevented the oaf from falling on her.
Remembering that she was in the presence of muggles she took a deep breath and did not break out her wand. As much as it pained her not to. She very deliberately closed her book, turned as much as she could to look at her interrupter, and gasped.
“Weasley, what in Merlin’s name are you doing falling on me?” She pushed him over, freeing more of her legs when he did not answer her. “Weasley!”
He moaned but did not rouse.
“Dammit to hell, Weasley,” she slapped his face, “wake up!” Casually she kept her wand at her side while she summoned a small bubble of water from the ocean and dumped it on his face. He sputtered and spit but finally sat up off her legs.
Ron looked around confused, “where am I?”
“How do you not know?” Pansy asked incredulously.
Ron held his head and stared at the ocean. “The coast, seriously Hermione?” He felt around for his wand and found it missing. “How in Merlin’s name am I supposed to get home without my wand?”
“How did you get here without your wand?” Pansy inquired. "And what does Granger have to do with it?"
Ron finally took a good look at Pansy and his surroundings. This was not the English coast. “Pansy Parkinson,” he fumbled with his words and looked like a floundering fish.
“Allow me to fill in a few details for you. One, you are not in England. Two, you are in South Carolina, USA. Three, if you don’t know how you got here, I cannot help you.” Pansy stood up and started gathering her belongings into her beach tote.
Ron sat in the sand looking out at the water. "She's never thrown me this far before. She must be more angry than I thought."
"Knowing you, you said something stupid and didn't think first."
Ron opened hisouth to reply but quickly closed it again knowing she was right. "Do you think it's time we move on from each other?"
Pansy looked over her shoulder at him, "are you seriously asking me if you should dump your fiancé? Cause, let me tell you, that is not something I'm qualified to answer." She shouldered her tote and considered leaving his pathetic arse sitting on the beach. Her old self would have, her post-war self reconsidered. "Come on, Weasley, get your pathetic arse up and come buy me a drink." She held a hand out to him, "then you can tell me how Granger blasted you across an ocean."
Ron took her hand and stood up. "Why do beaches have to have so much sand?"
Pansy couldn't help it, she laughed. "This is what anti-stick charms are for."
"If only I knew I was going to end up on a beach I could have done that." He chuckled. "At least I can make a joke about it." Ron kept her hand in his as they walked up the beach. Never in his life did he think he'd hold hands with Pansy Parkinson, but here he was.
Pansy spied the smile on Ron's face and looked down at their joined hands. She knew she should have pulled away when he stood up, but it didn't feel right to do so. Maybe she was the crazy one, but right now, she actually wanted to thank Granger for tossing her boyfriend across an ocean.
They walked up to an open tiki bar along the boardwalk and took a seat on the stools.
"Hi Carlo," Pansy said in her sweetest voice. "Can I get two of my usual please?"
Carlo set down the glass he was towelling off and raised an eyebrow at her, "it's not even 10 AM, Pans."
Pansy leaned forward and used her cleavage for leverage, "when has that ever stopped us?"
Carlo laughed at her, "you are shameless, woman!"
"And you love it."
When Carlo walked to the other end of the bar to mix Pansy's drinks, Ron leaned close to her ear and asked, "so, are you sleeping with him?"
Pansy set her hand on Ron's thigh, "no, Carlo is not into women, but we do love to flirt. Are you jealous?"
Ron knew he shouldn't be, he was supposedly still with Hermione. Yet, in this moment, he wanted Pansy to flirt with him. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but he wanted to feel wanted. Something he hadn't felt with Hermione in a long time.
Carlo set two drinks down in front of them, "only for you sweetheart, sex on the Beach at 10 AM."
If Ron had taken a drink he was sure he would have choked on it. "Sex on the beach?" His voice was a bit hoarse.
Pansy and Carlo looked at Ron and laughed. Pansy leaned in close to his ear, "maybe later I'll treat you to the real thing."
That time, he really did choke and blushed as bright as his hair.
"I like this one," Carlo announced, "you can keep him."
Pansy took a sip of her drink, "I think I just might."