Work Text:
I walk up the stairs to my boyfriend's apartment in the crisp November air, holding a small cake box and a bottle of wine. Today marks six months since we made it official, and I want to do something small but special. I notice on my way in that his car isn't parked where it normally is. Maybe he isn't home? I have a key, so I can surprise him a little more if he's not here. I stop in front of his door and knock three times. Nothing. I knock again. Still nothing. Okay, I guess he's out somewhere. I pull out my keys and let myself in.
"Ty?" I call, looking around. Everything seems normal, he must just be at the store or something. As I set my keys on the small table below the coat rack, I notice that his are there as well. That's... odd. I walk into the kitchen and find a wine bottle opener. Being sure to stay quiet, I open the wine, pour two glasses, and set them on the table. I take the small cake with a big "6" written on top out of the box and set it in between the wine glasses. Then, I walk down the hallway towards Tyler's room. I can't hear anything. I turn the doorknob as slowly as I can and crack the door open. He's asleep. I let out a small sigh of relief and open the door further. My heart stops. There's another girl in his bed, asleep right next to him. That's when I notice the clothes littering the floor.
"Tyler..?" I whisper, tears welling up in my eyes. No response. I raise my voice. "Tyler!"
He jolts awake. "It's not what it looks like!"
"Really? Then what is it??"
"I can explain!"
"That's IT!" I shout at him, "I'm done with you! We're over!"
He follows me into the kitchen. In a moment of rage and panic, I grab the cake from the table and throw it at him.
"THIS," I scream, "THIS IS WHAT I DO FOR YOU, AND LOOK WHAT YOU DO FOR ME."
"Kenzie, wait!" he calls as I storm out the door to his apartment.
I wheel around. "Don't. Call me. Kenzie." I say through my teeth.
I don't know where to go, so I just walk. It's easy to lose track of how many turns you've made when you're in a city like DC. I don't feel like going home, but I don't have anywhere else to go. After a while, I find myself in a small public park. A few chess tables, benches, and a fountain in the middle of it all. My feet ache. How long was I walking? Whatever. I sit down at the first seat I can find, a chess table, and stare at the board, absentmindedly toying with the pieces. I don't even notice the person who sits down on the other side of the table until he speaks up.
"Wanna play?"
I nearly jump out of my skin. He's probably around my age, with slicked back brown hair, soft brown eyes behind black half-frame glasses, and a small smile on his face. He's wearing a white dress shirt, a black tie, and a purple cardigan.
"God, you scared me," I try desperately to wipe the tears and runny mascara off my face, but I'm probably just making it worse. "sorry." I sniffle.
He’s clearly taken aback, and speaks quickly and clumsily after I look up. "Oh, um, if- if you don't.... um-"
"I don't know how to play chess."
"I can teach you, if... if you want."
"Uh, yeah, sure. I... need a distraction anyways."
"I'm Spencer, by the way. Spencer Reid."
"Mackenzie Diamond"
After losing three games of chess to Spencer Reid, but feeling at least a little better than before, I check my phone. It's already 5:30.
"I should head home," I say reluctantly, "but this was fun."
"Oh, okay," Spencer's face falls a little, "maybe call me sometime?" he pulls a small notebook and pen out of his pocket and jots his number down before ripping out the page and handing it to me. I smile, take the paper, and walk home.
It's nearly 6:45 by the time I get back to my apartment. My golden retriever, Delilah, is very unhappy with me. She usually gets her dinner by 6:00. So spoiled.
"Sorry, bubs, I was at the park," I say, "ready for suppertime?" Delilah wags her tail. She follows me all the way to the pantry and back to her bowl, practically eating the kibble as it falls. I sigh. Now that I'm back home, it's time to get rid of any trace that my now-ex ever existed. Every photograph, all the clothes he left, into a jumbo garbage bag. He won't be getting any of it back.
*****
A few weeks later, I wake up to Delilah's nose in my face. I check my alarm clock. 6:23 a.m. I look at her.
"Five more minutes?" She sniffs my face. "Okay, okay. fine." I roll out of bed and check the weather. It's cold outside. As I pick out clothes for the morning, I notice a folded up piece of paper on my nightstand. Spencer Reid’s phone number. I haven’t called him yet. I don’t think I’m ready for… well, anything yet. Not after what happened with Tyler. Trying to take my mind off of him, I slip on a jacket, jeans, and sneakers before taking Delilah for a brisk December walk. I decide to tuck the paper in my back pocket. Maybe I’ll call when I get home. Along the way, I loop her leash over a small bike rack to pop into my favorite coffee shop and grab a latte. You'll never guess who's there, smiling at me when I walk in the door.
"Spencer Reid," I can't help but grin like an idiot, "it's good to see you again." Today he's wearing a white dress shirt and a gray tie underneath a beige sweater and a dark brown blazer.
"You... never called." Spencer says. His eyebrows furrow, but his smile stays put.
"Believe it or not, I was going to, as soon as I got home," I tell him, pulling the notebook paper out of my back pocket to show him. “I know it’s been a while, I just… had some stuff going on.” He smiles understandingly.
"Let me buy you coffee?"
"Oh," I'm taken aback, "some other time." I point to Delilah sitting patiently outside.
"Oh, okay." he seems disappointed. I feel bad, but I can't just leave Delilah outside. It's cold, so we keep our walks short. "Well, bye, then."
I'm halfway around the block before I realize I never got the coffee I went in for.
When I get home, I give Delilah her breakfast and sit down on the sofa to read a book. It's Saturday, so I don't have to work. After about an hour, I remember I told Spencer I would call him as soon as I got home. I pull out my phone and the piece of paper and dial his number.
Ring...
Ring.......
Ring...........
Voicemail. Huh. Might as well leave a message.
"Hey, Spencer, it's Mackenzie. Just, uh, saying hi, I guess, and…” I think for a moment. “I was wondering if you wanted to maybe grab dinner sometime, so give me a call back when you can. Bye."
[4 days later]
I wake up to my phone ringing. What time is it? My alarm clock reads 1:17 a.m. Who in the world is calling me this late? Could it be Spencer? It's been days since I left him a message. I pick up my phone. It's not a number that's saved in my phone, but I vaguely recognize it. I answer.
"Hello?" I ask groggily.
"Hey, I didn't wake you, did I?" it's Spencer.
"No," I lie, "No, I was just up watching TV. What's up?" There was a pause. He knew I was lying, but he didn't say. I mean, who's still up watching TV at 1 a.m. on a Wednesday?
"I, uh, I'm sorry I couldn't call you back sooner."
"No worries, I'm sure you're very busy."
"Yeah, I got called into work unexpectedly."
Huh. I'd never asked what he did. "Where do you work, anyway?"
"I'm an FBI agent."
I stifle a giggle. "FBI? no way."
"No, I-I'm serious!" I can hear his grin through the phone. someone says something in the background that I can't quite make out. "Sorry, those are just my coworkers."
I laugh, "Your coworkers don't believe you're in the FBI either!"
Spencer laughs. Once again, I hear someone in the background, but this time I can hear what they're saying.
"Ooh, he's blushing!" A woman.
Another voice, this one male, says, "Pretty boy, who's on the phone?"
"Well," I say, "you sound busy. How about you call me when you get home from work?"
"Okay," he agrees, "talk to you later, then."
About an hour later, my phone rings again. this time, I actually am awake watching TV. I brewed a pot of coffee to keep myself from falling asleep. The phone ringing startles me, but I answer quickly.
"Hey, Spencer!"
"Hi!"
"How was work?"
"It was... interesting. Everyone wanted to know who I was on the phone with."
"What did you tell them?"
He pauses. "That... I was talking to a pretty girl."
I can't help but blush.
Almost two hours later, we're still on the phone.
"So," I say, "how about dinner?"
"I- I would love to." He sounds flustered. I can tell he's blushing.
I smile. "How does tomorrow at 7 sound?"
"Perfect."
[the next day]
We made plans to meet at a fancy restaurant downtown. At 7. Okay. That's fine. I can do that. if I take the Metro it's about 20 minutes. So, I should leave at 6:30 to make sure I'm not late. Or should I leave at 6:15 out of an abundance of caution? But I don't want to be too early. 6:30 it is.
It's 4:30 and I haven't showered. Shit. I jump in the shower and quickly wash my hair and shave my legs. What am I going to wear? I find a red silk dress in my closet. Just past knee length, loose but tight, with a classy straight neckline and skinny straps.
5:30. Makeup. I go for a bold smoky eye and wing out my eyeliner. Lastly, false lashes and subtle lipstick.
6:15. Hair. I blow dry it and curl it loosely, tying half of it up but leaving a few strands to frame my face. I put on black strappy heels and grab a black crossbody bag on my way out.
6:50. I beat Spencer to the restaurant. I tell the hostess that I'm waiting for someone and she seats me alone at a table for two. About five minutes later, I see him walk in. Holy moly. He's wearing a deep plum colored dress shirt with a black bowtie, a black suit jacket, and black dress pants. He looks.... amazing. My mind totally blanks for a second, but I collect my thoughts and stand up to greet him. He hugs me. When he pulls away, his hands remain at my waist and he smiles.
"You look fantastic."
"So do you."
*****
"So," Spencer says as we're finishing our meal, "did you drive here?"
I smile. "If you're asking if you can drive me home, I took the metro."
The waiter approaches our table and sets the check in between us. Spencer reaches for it, and I consider offering to pay, but decide to let him. Hey, free food and a cute date? Who could resist? He places his card in the little booklet and sets it back down.
"What I'm hearing is you need a ride home," he says. I laugh.
"Yes, Spencer, you can drive me home."
"What do you say we get dessert first? There's an ice cream place down the block."
"That sounds great."
*****
After ice cream, Spencer drives me home and walks me all the way to my apartment door.
"I had an amazing time tonight," he says.
I blush. "So did I."
Before I know it, his hands are on my waist and mine are around his neck, and I'm on my tiptoes giving Spencer Reid a kiss. I can feel his smile against my lips. I finally pull away and smile up at him.
"Goodnight, Spencer."
"Goodnight, Mackenzie."
I look down and then back up at him. "Call me Kenzie."
[2 months later]
As I gaze out of my apartment window at the street below me, admiring the falling February snow, I hear my phone buzz on the counter. A text from Spencer! The team got called in to work a case a few days ago, so they must be on their way back now. As I read the text, my heart sinks.
Hello, my name is Emily. I'm a coworker of Reid's. We're on our way back to Quantico now, and I think you should be there. This case was really tough on him, and I can tell he really needs someone right now. We land in 30 min. I just want to make sure he has as much support as he needs when he gets back. <3
I text back immediately:
Oh god, what happened? I'll be there as soon as I can.
Emily replies:
It's not my place to tell you, but it was bad. See you soon.
Grabbing a jacket and shoes, I run to my car and drive as fast as I can to Quantico. I can't get into the building, so I sit in my car and wait. I send Spencer a text.
Hey Spence, back to Quantico yet? I can pick you up if you want. Let me know :)
He replies after a few minutes:
We just landed, but I think I'm just going to go home tonight. Thanks anyway.
Emily was right. It's not like Spencer to turn down spending the night with me. This case must really have hit him hard.
After about five more minutes, I can see Spencer through the doors to the building. I open my car door and step outside into the snowfall as he walks out.
"Spence!" I start to walk towards him, but he freezes.
"Mackenzie... what are you doing here?"
Mackenzie? When was the last time he called me that?
"I... came to pick you up. I know you said-"
"Go home."
I stare at him blankly. "What?"
"I told you not to come here." He still hasn't taken a single step towards me.
"I- I know, but-"
"Mackenzie. Please." I can see the hurt in his eyes as he says it.
"Spence... what happened to you?"
"Look, just- just stop!" He's raising his voice now. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes. I start to reach for his arm, but he pulls away, his voice now dangerously low, barely a whisper. "Don't touch me." With that, he walks away into the snow.
I stand there, dumbfounded. What just happened? That was so... unlike him, in so many ways. He hasn't called me Mackenzie in so long. I can't hold back my tears anymore, so I get into my car and rest my head on the steering wheel, sobbing.
When I get home, I don't even know what to do with myself. Delilah greets me at the door.
"Hi, bub." I scratch behind her ears. She wags her tail but sniffs my leg curiously. She knows I'm upset. I sit on the floor, and she sits right in front of me, resting her chin on my shoulder like a hug. I wrap my arms around her.
"Delilah, what did I do wrong?"
*****
It's been three days. Three days and 17 missed calls. Is he just going to keep ignoring me forever? Is this... it? Are we done? What did I do? I stare out my apartment window. A thin layer of snow coats the ground below me. It's dark outside. What time is it? I look at my phone. 11:42 p.m. and nothing new from Spencer. Suddenly, there's a knock at my door. What the hell? As I walk hesitantly towards the door, the person outside knocks again.
I hear a familiar voice outside. "Kenzie?" His voice is small. He sounds like he's going to cry and I feel like my heart was just ripped from my chest. My hand hovers over the doorknob.
"Kenzie, please."
I open the door and he stands there in silence, staring at the floor. There are tears in his eyes, but he's refusing to let them fall.
"Spence." My voice breaks. I reach for his hand, pulling him into a hug as we cry into each other's shoulders. "Why didn't you call me back? What's going on with you?"
"I- I'm so sorry, Kenzie, I...." his voice trails off.
"Shh, just... just come sit. Can I, uh, get you anything?"
"No, that's okay."
I sit beside him on the sofa and listen quietly as he tells me about the case. He made the decision to split up with his partner while searching a suspect's property and was kidnapped. Drugged, beaten, tortured... God. I don't even know what to say.
"Spence, I-" I can't find the right words.
At that moment, he breaks. Letting out a sob, he collapses. I hold him in my arms, stroking his hair while he clings to me and cries.
"Shh... hey. It's okay. Spence, look at me." I gently take his head in my hands. He looks up at me, and I know that I'm looking into the eyes of someone truly broken. I wipe the tears from his face. "It's okay. You're safe."
I can't stand seeing him like this. It breaks my heart, and he knows that. He buries his face in my shoulder and we sit like that for what feels like hours. I could stay like this forever, him in my arms, stroking his hair, feeling our heartbeats line up. Suddenly, Spencer pulls away.
"I- I have to go," he says, sniffling and frantically wiping his face.
"But-"
"I have work tomorrow."
"Can't you stay the night?"
"Kenzie, you know I would love to, and you know I love you, but-"
"Woah."
Did he just say what I think he just said?
His eyes widen and his face turns red. "I- I didn't- if you're not-"
"I love you too, Spencer Reid."