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“Don’t you dare” Anthony called out in warning, his eyes narrowing across the field toward her.
Kate smirked as she eyed her target from where she was standing, her feet toeing the white line haphazardly spray painted in the grass, her face pinched in concentration. “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about, Anthony.”
And she would have laughed at his answering snort and eye roll that she could have seen from where she was standing, roughly 10 yards away from him, had she not been solely focused on the task at hand.
With a slow inhale, Kate bent her knees, drew her arm back behind her, and, on the exhale, propelled her arm forward and released the bean bag from her grasp. The worn, dusty object sailed across the space between them and hurtled toward its target, Anthony’s eyes widening as her green bag slid across the wooden board and slammed straight into his blue one, causing both of them to plop onto the ground at his feet. Kate shouted in triumph as he groaned and tried his best to hide his amused grin.
“Didi, you do know the object of the game is to get the bag into the hole, right? Or to at least keep your bag on the board? You don’t get a point because you knocked Anthony’s off” Edwina said behind her, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. Edwina knew by now that when it came to Anthony and Kate, they adhered to a different set of rules entirely.
Kate simply shrugged and smiled across the way toward Anthony, the mischief in her eyes plain as day.
“You won’t get away with this, Sharma!” he hollered even as she giggled, and Anthony couldn’t help but grin in return.
“Alright, enough flirting.” Eloise stepped around her brother and addressed her roommate. “Edwina, if they’re gonna keep this up we might as well go to dinner now; it could go on for hours. Besides, Penelope’s already waiting, and I’m starving.”
Anthony felt his face flush and he cleared his throat. “We weren’t flirting” he said lamely, his response weak even to his own ears. “But I suppose we can put the game on hold and go eat, seeing as we are here for the two of you and it would be quite rude of us to ignore our precious, darling sisters.” He reached out and tousled Eloise’s hair, who immediately flapped her arms at him in annoyance.
“Ugh, you’re so weird when you’re around her” she grumbled, only loud enough so he could hear it.
Anthony flushed even harder, his face surely a bright red by now, but he did his best to collect himself before gesturing for Kate, Edwina, and Eloise to follow him to the car.
In the two years since he’d met Kate Sharma, Anthony knew without a doubt he’d changed as a person (and for the better, he was pretty sure). They’d first met at his family’s publishing company, Bridgerton Books, which had been founded by his great-great-grandfather. Anthony had started working there immediately after college and had been an editor ever since. And even though he followed in his father’s footsteps, which he’d once sworn to never do, he truly loved his job.
After his father died when he was eighteen, it was how he’d come to feel closest to him: picking up where Edmund had left off, trying to see things from his point of view, pursuing projects he knew his father would have loved had he still been here. Sometimes, though, when he picked up a manuscript that practically had his father written all over it, Anthony would get choked up and have to push it aside, running his hands over his face, feeling the hole in his heart open up again, the wound that never quite healed bleeding once more. But then she came into his life, and that hole, although still there, eventually shriveled down into something more like a bruise.
Kate had begun working at Bridgerton Books when Anthony was in his fifth year with the company. He learned she’d previously worked at a major publishing firm before coming to their smaller, yet successful, family-owned business. The moment he saw her he could admit he’d been intrigued. She was beautiful, unquestionably so, but even more than that, she seemed incredibly driven—probably even more so than he. And she clearly loved her family, which he’d latched onto immediately, foolishly thinking he could use that to bind the two of them together.
But then one day he’d gone and opened his stupid mouth, making some side comment about female authors not writing enough outside of the romance genre (which, okay, looking back at it now, he really was being a bit of a dick) and she’d all but written him off as a complete asshole.
It was hard work, finding his way back into Kate’s good graces, a task that took over a year to achieve. But after their endless conversations about manuscripts, working together to meet deadlines, and him even offering to pick up food for the both of them on the days that turned into nights while she frantically typed away on her laptop, they finally fell into a place that Anthony would firmly define as friends.
To Anthony, it was no small victory, because at least it was a start. And he was grateful for it, truly, until it slowly but surely became more and more painful, a stab in the chest each and every time she spoke the word out loud.
Anthony, we’re friends, we can go to the Christmas party as each other’s dates. It’s not a big deal.
We’re friends, Ant, surely we can split this salad and it not be weird.
We’re friends, Anthony.
Friends.
Ugh.
Anthony sighed to himself the next afternoon as he and Kate pulled up to their sisters’ dorm. They had decided to drive up to university together to visit their younger sisters for the weekend. It was “Annual Siblings Weekend,” something Anthony had never even heard of and thought slightly ridiculous—he could drive up and see his sister any time he wanted, thank you very much—but Kate had insisted.
Come on Anthony, it’ll be fun. Eddie, Eloise, and Pen all need a break from studying for finals, and there’ll be games I can beat you at (he’d rolled his eyes at that) and plenty of alcohol and cookouts. Cookouts, Anthony, she’d said, licking her lips (he’d swallowed hard at that).
And now here they were, visiting their sisters for the weekend, Kate laughing and smiling away as he continued to pine away like a pathetic idiot, his heart permanently lodged in his throat just from being around her.
He couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it started. All he knew was that she’d simply walked into his life one day and he was certain that, somehow, he’d never be the same man he was. And he hadn’t been the same, truly, even though he couldn’t seem to get them anywhere near where he desperately wanted them to be.
He lay awake at night, her image in his mind, dreaming he could brush those loose strands of hair behind her ear, trail his fingertips along her rich, deep brown skin, lace her fingers together with his own, kiss those beautiful lips, feel every inch of her bare skin intertwined with his… but he couldn’t.
After all, she’d made it clear to him, on more than one occasion, that that was all she wanted. So, he just had to accept his fate for now and hope that, one day, maybe her feelings would evolve. That one day, maybe she would look at him the way he longed for her to—the way he sometimes saw her looking at their senior editor, Tom Dorset.
With that sudden, unwelcome image burning a hole in his brain, Anthony pulled open the door of the building and held it for Kate to enter through first. They came into the small lobby of their sisters’ dorm, where the two, plus Penelope, their third roommate, were already waiting for them.
“Nice of you to join us, lovebirds! You’re late!” Eloise chirped as the other two girls pointedly looked away from Anthony and Kate, Edwina giggling as Penelope turned back and aimed an apologetic smile at them.
Anthony glared at Eloise, who smirked unabashedly back at him.
Kate, however, just laughed her beautiful, tinkling laugh that made his chest ache and his hands clench at his sides.
“Where are we off to today?” she asked the girls brightly, playfully nudging Anthony in the side and ushering him out the door.
“Well, they still have the games set up we could go to, or there’s a concert out on the lawn in a couple of hours” Penelope noted. “But first, if it’s okay with you all, I have to swing by my adviser’s office and drop off my psych essay. It’ll just take a minute.”
“Sure, Pen, no problem” Edwina shrugged, and they let Penelope take the lead.
Penelope led them through the courtyard toward a large, brown building as Edwina and Eloise regaled Kate and Anthony with some of the more interesting stories about their time so far at university. Anthony frowned as Eloise detailed one of the more raucous parties they’d attended last week—she was meant to be focusing on her studies and not drinking and partying and meeting boys, was she not?
He was just about to voice those exact concerns when a bright, cheery voice called out to their group from the stone bench they were passing by on the sidewalk.
“Good afternoon, ladies” she smiled at the girls, “and gent” the young woman said, nodding toward Anthony. She was tall and slender, a pretty white smile offsetting her dark skin, afro bouncing a little as she considered them with interest. “My name is Tina, and I was wondering if I might bother you for a few minutes to shoot a quick video?”
The five of them just looked at her, slightly confused, until she gestured to a man sitting on the bench near them, fiddling around with a camera at his feet.
“I run a vlog” she explained quickly. “I’m a film student and I’ve been documenting different facets of the college experience for a project I’ve been working on.”
The group looked to each other briefly and Anthony opened his mouth to utter a simple thanks, but no thanks, before Edwina, people pleaser that she was, piped up.
“We’d be happy to! Wouldn’t we, guys?” She looked around to her sister, still seeking her approval even at nearly nineteen, and Kate simply shrugged.
“What would you want us to do?” she asked the woman quizzically.
The woman’s smile suddenly turned sly, and Anthony knew, right then, that he wasn’t going to like what she was about to say.
“Well… it might be a little silly, but people have seemed to enjoy it so far. Basically, I’m filming people calling their crush and asking them on a date to see how the other person responds” she finished with a wink. The group stared at her before she cleared her throat and continued. “No silly games, no runarounds, just complete honesty.”
Eloise grunted, but to Anthony’s total surprise, she nodded her head in consideration. “Which one of us would you want to do it?” she asked slowly.
“Well, which one of you has a crush?” Tina returned, eyebrows raised in question.
Silence.
Anthony gulped but stood stone still. He noticed Kate stiffen slightly out of the corner of his eye, while Eloise shrugged noncommittally, Penelope turned bright red, and Edwina smirked to herself but otherwise kept her mouth shut tight.
Tina looked around to everyone for a long moment, the seconds nearly turning to minutes, and finally, with a huff, her smile fell.
“Come on, mates. Surely there’s one of you who has a crush, right?”
Anthony, suddenly finding his voice despite his obvious discomfort, replied with a gruff “Sorry, it looks like you’re out of luck. Thank you for asking, but we really must be goi-”
“I’ll do it.”
Her voice was confident, determined. Everyone turned to Kate in shock, her face betraying nothing, a solid mask of resolve.
“Didi, are you sure?” Edwina asked, eyes round.
Kate cleared her throat and nodded her head. “I’ll do it” she repeated, turning to Tina. “What is it you need me to say exactly?”
Tina’s smile lit up, and she ushered her cameraman over wildly.
Anthony’s head was spinning as Tina explained to Kate that she simply had to call her crush while she put it on speakerphone, and the only catch was that she had to use the word date when asking them out. Kate nodded along as the other girls watched her, a little in awe.
Anthony was spiraling fast. He tried to swallow but the lump that formed in his throat made it too tight, too painful to force down. Panic crawled from his chest and shot through every cell in his body, fire scorching him from the inside out. He still couldn’t move, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything other than stare as Kate pulled her phone from her back pocket.
His pulse hammered in his ears, drowning out Edwina’s urging to the rest of the group to step back and give Kate some space. Anthony stood rooted to the spot, a few feet away from her, simply staring. His lips parted as though he wanted to say something, anything, as though he could actually make something sound coherent.
Kate pointedly avoided his gaze, and it wasn’t until Eloise gently nudged him out of the way that Anthony shuffled his feet a few steps backward. Eloise, only having been mildly interested before, now held a genuine look of concern in her eyes as she regarded her brother.
She turned her body into his. “Anthony are you okay?” she muttered.
Her worry would have been apparent had Anthony been able to actually see her—he was too busy trying to keep himself from falling flat on the ground as his vision swam in front of his eyes.
He didn’t respond. He did nothing, simply continued to stand, frozen, as his entire world crumbled around him, his heart breaking into a million tiny pieces and bleeding right out of his chest.
~~~~~~
Kate forced her eyes ahead, despite wanting to do anything but. She desperately wished she could turn to see his face, to watch his gaze on her as she took a leap of faith, but her brain wouldn’t allow it just yet. Everyone grew quiet, still not quite believing what she was about to do.
Kate didn’t quite believe it herself, to be honest, but she needed to know. Needed to see his reaction as she confessed to the way she felt, needed to know what he would do the very moment he found out, needed to know if there was even the slightest chance he could feel the same way.
First, though, she would have to be able focus her brain on the suddenly very difficult task of finding the right name in her contacts.
Kate’s fingers shook as she scrolled through the long list, names blurring together in front of her eyes. She could feel everyone else’s eyes on her, could sense Edwina trying to poke her head around Kate’s shoulder to see the name she would land on. In the back of her mind, a nagging voice telling her that this was not going to turn out the way she hoped steadily grew louder.
He had been a constant fixture in her mind since the day she first started working at Bridgerton Books. His dark eyes had found hers across the room as she’d introduced herself, his expression neutral, brow furrowed in concentration, the crease between his eyebrows becoming more pronounced. She took in the light blue dress shirt pulled tightly across his chest, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, brown hair slightly ruffled. He gave her a quick nod as their eyes met, giving nothing away, before turning back to his colleague and continuing on with his conversation.
And she couldn’t explain it for the life of her, but something about him both set her on edge and calmed her at the same time. Whenever she saw him, something odd would flutter around in her stomach before finding a peaceful resting spot in her chest, chaos and tranquility constantly warring for dominance from within.
It was only after her first week that she’d decided agitation with him was the only emotion she should be feeling. She’d caught him clearly stating to Tom Dorset one day that women are under-utilizing themselves, Tom. Maybe if they focused on something other than romance and trying to fulfill their unmet sexual fantasies for a change, they would be more successful in other genres.
She’d huffed, clearly startling both men, and walked away without a single word.
From then on, for the next year or so, he’d been Enemy Number One. He may as well have painted a target on himself for her to launch insults at, seeing which one would stick. And when they did, Kate relished in the fact that she could anger him so easily, his eyes flashing dangerously whenever she would shoot him a glare and a watch out, Anthony, don’t let your dick get in the way of that manuscript sitting in your lap. You know, the thriller that a woman wrote.
But slowly, surely, even though she’d hated to admit it at first, he’d started to gain her trust. He’d sit with her, hunched over a chair in her office, for far longer than what could’ve been expected of him, helping each other through the more difficult aspects of their job. He even insisted on picking up dinner for them both when the days ran long, and eventually, they started to open up to each other. They talked about their hobbies, their childhoods, their families, even sharing in their grief once over the loss of their fathers.
And before Kate could help herself, before she’d even known what was happening, she’d fallen. Those dark eyes, once so irritating, now comforted her and made her feel safe. She desperately longed to reach out and run her fingers through the hair he’d ruffled distractedly. Longed to be pulled in close to him, his arms encircling her gently, her name a whisper on his lips. Longed to hear his deep, gruff voice groan in her ear when the hands she touched herself with were replaced by his own instead.
Kate scrolled past his name twice before realizing how obtuse she was being and that his name was nearly at the top of her contact list. Once she finally got there, her thumb hovered over the call button, asking herself if she was really about to do this.
“Wait!” the cameraman barked out, causing everyone to jump, Kate nearly dropping her phone in surprise.
At least having the decency to look a little sheepish, the cameraman said to them, “Sorry, lens needs a quick adjustment. Just give me a sec.”
He knelt down to the ground again as Tina and Edwina groaned. Penelope, for her part, continued to stay silent, her eyes glancing back and forth between Kate and Anthony, who was off to the left of the group now. He’d moved, Kate suddenly realized, and was no longer in their little circle, no longer within shot of the camera.
And suddenly she couldn’t keep herself from looking at him any longer; she brought her eyes up, hoping to meet his, hoping to give him what she thought was a reassuring smile. But she couldn’t, because his back was turned to her, his face staring off somewhere into the distance. She studied him for a moment, his arms crossed over his chest, the seams of his shirt pulling, his back muscles bulging just the slightest bit underneath. His foot kicked aimlessly at a patch of grass just in front of him. He was tense, she could tell, but she still had no idea how he was feeling.
What if he was angry?
What if he didn’t even care at all?
Eloise was standing awkwardly between their circle and Anthony, her head moving back and forth between the two, looking like she was at a complete loss.
And as the seconds turned to minutes, Kate felt her resolve slipping all too quickly. This whole thing, this ridiculous situation she’d put herself in, finally started settling into her bones.
Now, it wasn’t just her fingers that were shaking, but her whole body that started trembling in apprehension as well.
I can't do this.
I have to back out now.
This is still salvageable, right? He doesn't have to know.
I can't—suddenly she felt the slide of small hands along her back, Edwina’s voice clear and comforting beside her.
“It’s okay, Kate. You’ve got this, alright?” she said softly. “It’s going to be okay” she soothed, as Kate gaped at her, sheer terror radiating off her in waves.
“N-no, I c-can’t” she said with a trembling breath. She looked over at Anthony, his back still to her, and Edwina followed her gaze. “He’s not, he doesn’t…” she trailed off.
Edwina squeezed her shoulders. “Look at me, Kate.” As Kate slid her eyes back to her sister, Edwina smiled at her, a small, reassuring thing. Her next words came out in a whisper. “He does. I promise you, he does. It is okay. It is, I swear.”
She instructed Kate to take deep breaths, until finally, after a grueling seven minutes, the cameramen stood up and gave her a thumbs up. “Okay, good to go now. Whenever you’re ready.”
Edwina gave Kate one more gentle squeeze before stepping back again, and Kate willed herself to stay calm. She glanced up at Anthony one more time, but his back gave nothing away.
As she brought her thumb down to her phone, she felt, more than saw, Anthony move even further away from her, his steps quickly starting to gain momentum.
Kate pressed down on the call button and held her breath.
~~~~~~
Torture. Pure, unparalleled torture, that’s what this was. Anthony was sure of it.
The thought of her calling Tom Dorset, of her confessing her feelings to him, of her blushing as he laughed with her over the phone and told her he felt the same way…
Anthony turned away from her, from everyone, inching his way out of their small circle. He couldn’t let anyone see him start doing something stupid, like cry. But that forbidden moisture behind his eyes began to blur his vision and he kicked at the ground, desperately trying to will them away.
He heard footsteps behind him but made no attempt to acknowledge the individual.
“Anthony” Eloise breathed, her voice so much different than he’d ever heard it. It held compassion. Sympathy. Pity. “I’m sorr-”
“I’m fine, Eloise” he ground out, refusing to meet her eyes. He folded his arms across his chest. “Go back to your friends.”
He heard her take a couple of steps back, but then she stopped.
“You don’t have to stay here” she whispered across to him. “I can make an excuse for you, if you just want to go.”
Anthony simply nodded in response but made no effort to move.
They both flinched at the cameraman calling for Kate to stop, and he chanced a glance over his shoulder at her. She looked taken aback, but not undeterred. Anthony supposed he should’ve felt grateful for the delay—the less time he had to endure her rejection the better. Instead, though, he just felt hollow.
As the minutes passed, he dug his fingers into his arms, still kicking away at the ground.
I’ve been meaning to take a holiday from work, anyway. No better time than the present, I suppose.
As Anthony contemplated whether Spain or Mexico would have better beaches and stronger liquor, the cameraman called out that he was ready once more.
But Anthony could bear it no longer. He had to get away from everyone. He had to get away from her. He forced his legs to propel himself forward, commanding himself not to look back again.
That’s it, one step after another. Just keep going.
Anthony was just on the verge of jogging, when, out of nowhere, he heard it in his pocket.
It shook him out of his trance, and he came to a stop, confused.
Because it wasn’t just any ringtone, it was her ringtone, the one she’d put in for herself on his phone one day when he’d gone off to the bathroom. When he’d returned, she’d immediately called him, laughing hysterically at his face as the familiar lyrics Tell me what you want, what you really really want filled his office. He hated that song, and she knew it. But, after he’d gone in to change the ringtone back to the way it was, he’d pictured the way her eyes lit up when she’d heard it, and he’d smiled and set his phone back down.
That same tune blared in his pocket now, Anthony staring dumbly down at it.
Surely it wasn’t, couldn’t be…
He blinked and pulled the phone out of his pocket, then promptly dropped it on the ground when he saw the name.
Kate.
It was really her.
She was calling him.
In lieu of picking up his phone, he spun around to face her.
And everyone in the circle was staring over at him in shock.
Everyone except for Kate and Edwina.
Edwina, for her part, no longer even tried to hide the smirk overtaking her features. Kate, however, looked absolutely terrified as she held her phone out in front of her.
Kate and Anthony stared at each other, neither one knowing what to do, until Kate finally called out to him hoarsely, “Are you going to answer that?”
Anthony’s mouth fell open in shock, certain his stomach had bottomed out completely.
Still, he didn’t move a muscle, his eyes just looking into Kate’s, absolutely nothing and no one else around him but her.
From the ground, the phone went silent, breaking him out of his reverie. He glanced down to where it was, her name no longer flashing on the screen.
He looked back up at Kate just as she turned to Tina, saying shakily, “Oh, well, I guess my crush can’t come to the phone right now.”
She let out a watery chuckle, her eyes turning downcast, and Anthony physically shook himself before he croaked out, “Call it again.”
Kate looked up at him, eyes and tone betraying her words. “It’s okay, Anthony, don’t worry about it.”
“Call. It. Again.” he said huskily, more forceful this time. He bent down, picked up his phone, and took a step in her direction.
He could see Kate swallow as she took her eyes off of him, only for a moment, to push the button on her phone once more.
Clear as day, the Spice Girls rang out in the hush that had fallen over everyone, the song a ridiculous metaphor for the words written on his heart.
I want you, Kate. My beautiful, perfect girl. You are my love, my life.
Anthony’s heart rammed into his ribs painfully, but he couldn’t stop staring at her in awe.
“Answer the goddamn phone, you idiot!” Penelope shrieked.
Everyone turned to her in shock, even Anthony, before surprised laughter bubbled up from his chest.
He pressed the button, held the phone up to his ear, and spoke.
“Hi” he said breathlessly.
“Hi” she repeated, laughter escaping her own voice. She took a deep breath. “Will you go on a date with me?”
He choked on a laugh, nodding his head manically.
They beamed across at each other, some distance still between them, the moisture in Anthony’s eyes from before morphing into tears of triumph.
And before he knew it, his legs were carrying him to her, not nearly fast enough. He crashed into her, lifting her up by the waist and spinning her around. She clung to him, laughing, choking back her own tears, and after a long moment he set her down.
“So, I didn’t quite catch that” she whispered, her warm breath fanning over his face. “Was that a yes?”
“I love you” he breathed.
The most beautiful smile he had ever seen broke out across her face, and before he knew it, her lips connected to his, her body pressing into him and stealing his breath from his lungs. The sweetest taste washed over his tongue, and he smiled as he circled his arms around her and clung to her back while she greedily dug her fingers into his hair.
Anthony moved his lips against hers slowly, deeply, in utter bliss. He had no idea how long it went on, wouldn’t have even remembered other people were standing there had someone not let out a pointed cough.
Kate moved to pull her lips away and he begrudgingly let her go, but not far. He tenderly pulled her forehead into his and closed his eyes.
“I love you, too” she whispered.
Heaven. This is heaven.
“But” she continued, “you technically still haven’t answered me out loud. Will you go on a date with me?”
He breathed out an incredulous laugh.
“Only if you’re buying” he said, before pulling her lips to his once more.
The coughing grew louder, and multiplied, before Anthony and Kate finally pulled apart, the rest of the world finally making its way back into their orbit.
“This is really sweet and all, but I’m gonna puke if I have to keep watching my brother put his tongue down her throat any longer” Eloise addressed the group.
Her smile betrayed her words, though, her eyes locking with her brother’s, relief and happiness shining through. He smiled back at her in thanks.
“Alright, I suppose you can cut now” Tina said to the cameraman, and everyone else blinked, having completely forgotten they were still being filmed. She turned to Anthony and Kate, still far too engrossed in each other to really focus on everything being said. “This is gonna be great material for my vlog. Thanks, you guys!” She waved and trotted off, presumably to find more victims.
“Well, thank God for that” Edwina sighed, relief flooding her voice. “I thought you guys would never get your shit together. Kate’s been absolutely unbearable.”
Kate blushed the most beautiful shade of pink Anthony had ever seen, and he bent to trail his lips over it.
“Were you, now?” he chuckled, breathing her in.
“Oh please, Anthony. You were a million times worse.” Eloise, apparently back to her normal self, turned to her roommates. “He was insufferable. Every damn time I went home for Sunday lunch he was moping around like some heartbroken teenager. It was pathetic.”
Anthony sighed into Kate’s neck. “Ignore them” he grumbled, and he felt the shiver run through Kate’s body at the feeling of his words being spoken into her skin. “We are adorable mopers.”
She giggled and a shiver of his own ran down his spine.
“So um, I don’t wanna burst your bubble or anything” Penelope spoke up, a grin on her face despite her words. “But the concert is gonna start soon, if we still wanted to go.”
“I hate to say it, but I think it’s probably a safe bet that Kate and Anthony won’t be coming with us” Edwina chimed in. At their curious looks, she continued, “I think they probably have better things to um, do…”
Eloise let out a disgusted groan. “That is absolutely appalling. Let’s go Edwina, Pen.” She gestured to the two girls, who followed her off in the direction of the concert.
“Well, I suppose that means we are officially uninvited” Kate chuckled, and Anthony brought her in to press his lips to hers once more.
“I suppose so.”
“Later, horndogs!” Eloise called out behind her.
Anthony and Kate laughed as they turned, hand in hand, and walked the other way.
“Let’s go home.”
The end.