Chapter Text
Intimidation: I
Very worried is just a understatement of what I am feeling now. I am beyond being just worried.
I am also terrified, because at any moment now, my name will be called and my exam paper will be given back to me.
This piece of paper determines how I will live my life, or if I am able to continue living at all.
That's an exaggeration.
But seriously, I need to pass this test and stop staying in this grade.
There is a limit to how many years you can stay in the same grade in a University. And of course, I haven't reach the limit yet. But still! For the sake of my dignity, I don't want to stay in this grade anymore.
It's already shameful enough to stay for a year, but another year as well-
"Xandra."
Oh shit.
I shoot up, almost knocking off the chair I have been sitting on, earning a few snickers from those bastards that has apparently passed the exam.
Or not. Would they care about their scores like me?
I take a deep breath subtly, trying to put on a facade. People see me as being indifferent, but inside, I am trying very hard to make my legs walk without shaking.
One step after another. I can feel the crunch of my heels on the floor, the dry ground that is cleaned with diluted acid every few hours. It's unbearably clean in here.
When I hold out my hands to recieve it, the professor says, "well done." He smiles a bit, and I let out a breath.
"Thank you, professor."
I look directly to his eyes with my one and only functional eye, showing genuine gratitude. I hope he understands it.
He nods and I take the cue as going back to my seat. Crumbling the place at where my mark is written on, I walk back to my seat while dodging a few people that is going out for their paper. I smoothen the paper out when I sit down.
Eighty-seven percent. Not bad. In fact, the best I have done so far.
Maybe I can have a feast tonight? For doing so well? I should celebrate, because I am definitely going for another grade and not learning the same things all over again.
Last year I failed my exam because I was on the brink of death, and the reason? Starvation.
A starved ghoul is never a good thing, to humans at least. It makes them crazy, they will do everything -usually without thinking- just to have a taste of the human flesh. There are a lot of ghouls like this. And the lives of many of these impetuous ghouls, are taken easily by the CCG, perhaps with the cost of a few doves occasionally. I shrug internally, I don't care. I haven't seen them when I hunt before, and I have no interest meeting them anytime soon.
The bell for the lesson to finish has rung, I stuff the paper in my bag and walk out of the classroom.
While thinking who I should eat, I stumble into another person.
He falls onto the floor, his book lying next to him, the pages surely crumbled a bit, I hope it's not torn.
"I am really sorry." He lifts himself up and I retrieve his book.
"It-it's fine. I am sorry too, I wasn't looking." He chuckles nervously while holding his book to his chest.
He has black hair, just like the majority of the students in this place, Kamii University.
"Is your book okay? It's not damaged or anything, right?" I glance curiously at the book, the Black Goat's Egg.
I have heard of the author, Takatsuki Sen. Famous for her horror stories and beautiful appearance. Unlike other authors, there is not much information about her, absolutely nothing. Perhaps behind the beautiful mask is an ugly being?
I feel a light tap on my shoulder, it's foreign and weak. I almost grip the hand snap it into half by instinct, but I catch myself and lower my hand.
"Um. E-excuse me? You spaced off for a bit, are you feeling okay?"
I turn my attention back to the boy, he's just another nerd with dorky black hair and a book. If we are in a fictional world, I cannot imagine him to be a protagonist or anything major, except perhaps those kind of characters that dies at the first scene in the background. The kind of people no one cares about and only adds up to a number in some statistics.
Note the main point, in a fictional world. In reality, I have completely no idea what they do after they graduate. I mean, 'nerd' describes a student that works very hard academically, and hardly socialize at all, right? Or am I wrong, does 'nerd' apply to grown-ups as well?
"I am fine, I am sorry that I worried you. I didn't hear what you said, so can you please tell me again?"
"Oh." He chuckles nervously again. "I said it's fine, no damage at all."
He glances curiously at my right eye. When I catch his gaze, he quickly turn away, embarassed. Of course he would be, anyone who is caught staring at someone's defective weird looking eye would be embarassed, unless the person has no shame.
I am not completely blind, though my right one is. I contemplate for a while.
I have decided.
"It's a born defect." I say non-chalently, while wondering what his reactions will be. I always find it amusing how people will apologize to me after I tell them that, though it can be annoying at times when they over said the word 'sorry'.
"Then you must be seeing more than I do, right?" He smiles warmly, still hugging the book to his chest.
I am surprised. No one has ever told me that before. Everyone, including me, just assume I would be seeing less for using only one eye. It makes it easier to have other defects like short-sightedness.
He glances down at his watch.
His eyes are grey. That's the first time I notice it. "Oh! I have to go now, I am really sorry for bumping into you."
I shake my head, "same goes for me." I pause for a second before adding, "if fate wants it, we might see each other again. After all," I lift my thumb towards the school buildings, "we do study in the same university."
He grins happily. "Yeah. Let's see each other some time." He glances at his watch again, his face changed from calm to nervous comically. "I really have to go. Bye!" He waves.
I wave without saying anything and watch him leave.
I know who to devour tonight.