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Four knocks echoed from his apartment door.
Shiroyabu curled into his bed harder. He gripped his duvet, pulling it over his person - the sheet tightening over his head and ears.
The knocks repeated themselves…
He can still hear them.
He looked on into the infinite darkness of his duvet, his eyes tightening shut.
Maybe they'll go away.
"Jabroni, it's me. Open the fuck up!"
A voice boomed from outside his apartment.
It wasn't even the slightest bit muffled.
Shiroyabu flinched.
Goddammit! She was the last person he wanted to be here.
He doesn't need this right now.
"C'mon Jabroni, you can't avoid us for long!" Her voice then shifted tone. "Little pig, little pig! Let me in! Don't mind the hair on your chinny chin chin."
"Go the fuck away Kuro-san!" He called out, not changing his position in the bed.
"Four days away from work for no reason whatsoever and this is how you treat a coworker?" Kuroyanagi scoffed. "You gotta be more courteous y'know."
"Leave me alone." He groaned.
"You sad or something?"
Shiroyabu didn't want to entertain her with a response so he laid there in silence, with the hope she'd eventually just go away.
What felt like an eternity - that possibly might have been 15 minutes - have passed.
The stress coming from Kuroyanagi's sheer presence stopped him from properly enjoying the calming silence.
"The silent treatment, eh?" She said, flatly.
So much for enjoying the quiet.
"Look, can you just… go away please?" He gritted his teeth.
"I didn't ask to come here, idiot." She spat. "Old Man Hatoba figured I could come and give you a shake. Just so you know, if you don't gimme an explanation or get your lazy ass outta this apartment; your ass is grass."
Shiroyabu turned his body, shifting his gaze from the wall in his room to the front door of his apartment.
"Let him fire me then," He said, defeated. "See if I care."
"Giving up that easily? Teaching you has been a waste, after all." There was a mocking tone in her voice. "Guess I'm gonna have to cap you then, no shitty paperwork getting in the way."
Shiroyabu's head drooped down, he bit the inside of his cheek, his hands gripped his bed sheets.
Some detective I was…
"That would be more preferable actually…" Was his response to Kuro.
A second of silence. It was as if he could feel her grin morphing into a scowl.
"Just open the damn door, dingus."
Shiroyabu grumbled. "Fine…"
Heaving his heavy bones, Shiroyabu walked over to the door of his apartment. He peered through the looking glass, sure enough his partner was there, glaring.
He sighed heavily, he didn’t feel comfortable opening the door to his colleague but what
“You sad or something?” The words she echoed through his skull.
‘Sad’ was an understatement.
His shaky hand unlocked the front door, and opened it wide open. Kuroyangi's face instantly scrunched up, her lips we're sucked inwards and her fingers clenched her nostrils.
“Jesus, man! When was the last time you showered?”
She was doing a good job at hiding her concern under the veneer of disgust.
He never saw her concerned at all but who could blame her? Anyone would be worried if their co-worker looked like…
"Why do you look like roadkill? It's not Halloween yet, it's too early dress up as a fucking zombie."
This really was the last thing he needed today.
“Look, make yourself comfortable all you want… then leave.” He spat.
Kuroyanagi entered his room, he softly closed the door behind her - avoiding her gaze.
She did not hesitate in making herself at home - plopping herself down on his sofa chair with her legs crossed, one thigh wrapping itself around the other.
It was his favorite chair - but whatever, he pulled up a rickety wooden chair that he bought for a reason he couldn't be bothered to remember and lazily sat on it… backwards. Her eyes scanned the room, intently.
"You couldn't bother in making this place feel a little more lived in?" She was taking in the room a bit more . “It’s almost fucking empty. Considering the kind of person I take you as, I was expecting a plethora of expensive, dumbass things. Like have you watched Fight Club?”
“Yeah but…”
“I was expecting a room like the main character in that movie but what the hell is this? Don’t tell me you haven’t been spending your ‘hard earned cash’ on any stupid as shit like I expected? I know for a fact you waste it every chance you get."
Shiroyabu grumbled under his breath.
“Look, can you not right now?” He shot, he was too drained to make a more intimidating glare.
Kuro looked at him with scorn, raising herselof to get off the sofa - as if she wanted to ask ‘Why does that matter to you, you fucking dumbass?’ then her features softened, her eyes drooping. One second of emptiness… like she went into the bathroom to take a piss in the middle of a conversation. And then she reeled back and sat down on the sofa chair comfortably.
“Okay, fine.” She sighed.
They just sat in silence, staring at each other for a while. Shiroyabu grew agitated, tapping the tip of the chair irrethymatically much to Kuroyanagi's chagrin.
Oh how he wished he was still curled up in his bedsheets listening to The Cure on his Walkman.
He slowed down his taking when he noticed his partner glaring at him. It grew more awkward the more the tapping faded until he inevitably stopped.
His stomach churned as it was just him… and her.
“You’re not okay, are you?” She spoke. Her voice was firm yet soft.
Shiroyabu bit his lip.
"I'll take that as a yes."
He nodded.
“So what’s been going on with you exactly? You know you could have used your damn sick days if it was this bad.”
Shiroyabu refused to respond, his head drooped down, fixating on his bare feet.
"You're more of a mess than I realized… Jesus christ you don't look like you've been eating at all?"
Shiroybu squeezed his elbow.
“So I’m right?”
Shiroyabu chewed on the issue of his cheek, wet was she prying him like this?
To be fair she would have a lot of questions, but this still felt uncomfortable… especially coming from her.
She wasn't going to get a clear cut answer from him anytime soon.
But that would also mean…
She got up, taking one last glance around the room before she strided into his bedroom.
"Hey, wait!" He called, Heaving himself off the chair. His bones were sore.
He finally caught up to her, she was pressing her palms down on his mattress.
"You've practically been living in this thing for the past four days," She surmised. "Ugh, you've even passed here a few times."
She didn't even look at him.
"Hey, I think you should-"
Kuroyanagi turned to his general direction
She gripped his chin and pulled his face closer to her. She stared deep into his eyes, she pulled out a small pocket torch, pressing the blinding light into both of his pupils.
He pushed her away, reeling back in pain.
"Ow!"
"I should have figured… insomnia." She said. "You were too busy mopping, you'd rather stay in this bed instead of keeping yourself busy watching television or something."
He stared at her, one of his palms covering one of his eyes. "You got that right."
She moved in extremely close to him. "So tell me, what's the cause?"
He took a deep breath, looking at her - defeated. "Nightmares…"
He has a sinking feeling.
Here it comes. He thought. She's going to talk my ear off about how much of a pussy I am.
"Oh…" was her reply. "What kind of nightmares?"
Shiroyabu blinked. "Huh?"
"You're nightmares, Jabroni. What's keeping you up at night?"
"I-"
His throat burned, the ban of his head was at boiling point - all the memories growing intense by the second.
The seventh assassin died brutally, Jabroni's nice tie was stained permanently with the blood of all seven. The observer grinned wickedly at the alternate batting center. Jabroni died that day and only one phrase can be heard.
"Kamui can fuck off."
"My… my nightmares - they…" The tears started flowing back.
His eyes have been incredibly sore the past few days, he assumed he longer had any energy left to cry this hard.
No matter how hard he tried to hold it in, they just flooded no matter what. His chest compressed, as if the air was being squeezed out.
Kuroyanagi placed her hands on his shoulders. Her fingers were gentle.
"Jabroni, stop." She reassured me. "Breath."
Shiroyabu was still crying.
"Breath."
The time was 3:13. The mark stopped breathing.
The masked fiend lay lifeless on the ground, his blood staining the floor of the Hachisuka dome.
A pistol loosely fell out of his right hand.
Shiroyabu knelt down, gripping the mask.
He couldn’t help but notice how good looking his suit was, he’d change the tie though.
A pale shade of red just looked wrong, he preferred blue for a reason.
He didn’t hesitate when ripping the blasted thing off.
“So you’re the Joker…” He said. “Escaped through death…”
There was an odd sensation in his chest, it was heart. The beat was quick like an alarm blaring.
It was as if his very body was warning him of something but what?
He didn’t care.
He took a closer look at his face, his hair was long, obscuring it partially.
Just like his… It was white like snow.And from the facial features he could see….
“This guy… I’ve seen him before…”
His heartbeat quickened. Against his better judgment, he ignored the warning - the nail in the coffin.
“Who is he…?”
He could see himself reflected in the dark pupil. The bandaged ear was visible. A nd then he could see his reflection’s lips move.
“It’s me. I’m Makutaro Shiroyabu. It’s you.”
“Aaah!”
“I said breath dammit!” She shook his shoulders, rattling him.
He did what he was told, he sucked in some air and allowed it to marinate. He exhaled through his nose. It only helped so much.
“Now… do it again.”
He repeated the process, inhaling and exhaling, eventually his internal panic settled down and he found himself in a comfortable rhythm.Inevitably he was in a much better state
"Feeling better…?”
An unnatural pause.
“Ya big baby?” She added.
"Good." And with that she took her arms off his shoulders.
“Ya gotta sit your ass down for a bit.” And with that she left the room.
He complied, sitting down on his bed, it creaked. The springs could pop any minute. He could faintly hear the tap water running and then shut off.
Kuroyanagi came back with a glass of water, handing it to him. He accepted it with shaky hands.
"Thanks.” He said softly.
It was supposed to be one tiny sip but he ended up gulping nearly half of the damn glass.
He removed it from his lips, exhaling.
He looked at Kuroyanagi, she was looking atr him intently. There’s something off about her today… but he can’t pinpoint what. Then he asked the first thing that came to mind.
“How… how do you do it?”
"Do what?"
Admittedly he had no follow up.
“How do you… be you?” He had to improvise here. “How are you so… confident, so badass, so… bitchy?”
“Bitchy?” She shot him a glance.
If looks could kill.
“Uh… I mean-”
“I’m gonna ignore you said that.”
Shiroyabu blinked. "Even if it's true?'
She wacked him on the shoulder. "Shaddap."
“Ow.” He whined, rubbing his shoulder.
Kuroyangi sat down next to him, crossing her legs again.
“Why’d you ask?”
He stopped rubbing his shoulder and gripped it.
“I’m gonna guess this is related to your nightmares, isn’t it.”
“You’re good.” He exclaimed.
“Yeah, because I fucking have to be.” She spat. “If i’m not skilled enough I’d end up like Sakaki.” She said that so nonchalantly…
Hearing that felt like being punched in the chest.
“So… you think I’m going to end up like Sakaki, then?” He pursed his lips.
Of course, she’d think he’s just dead weight.
“I said, I’d end up like her if I was less skilled, you would be too if you were the same caliber.” She pulled out a packet of cigarettes, taking out a cig and lighting it up. The thin smoke danced in the air as she exhaled.
“You obviously know more than Sakaki, you just dunno how to apply that.”
Shiroyabu looked flabbergasted. “H… huh?”
"The core of the matter is; you still need to get yourself out of this rut, at the end of the day you're a detective and you have a job to do. A job you're four days late for by the way."
"I dunno Kuro…" He stared at his reflection in the half empty glass - He must be hallucinating. He could swear the reflection showed bits and pieces of Kurumizawa staring back at him. “I… don't want to do this anymore…."
“See, now you’re just being a pussy.” She scoffed, the cigarette twirled elegantly on her fingers. “You wanna know why I’m such a bitch to you? This attitude right fucking here. Recognise your fucking strenghts for once you fucking dumbass. Jesus, it’s like you WANT to be whacked on the head with a metal folding chair.”
Shiroyabu blinked.
“I’m good?”
“You’re getting there…” She murmured. “Been a hassle working with you these past two years, you know that?”
“I can imagine…”
Kuroyanagi turned to face him, her lips pressing against the cigarette once again.
“Now let me ask you a question, how would you rate me?”
“W-WHAT!?” He reeled back, what's left of his water almost splashing all over his senior. “What like… like…”
“This is what I mean when I say you’re a dumbass.” She said flatly. “As a detective, you idiot.”
“Oh… oh right… yeah um…” He scrambled his mind for a bit. Considering Kuroyanagi’s penchant for mass disposal and the fact she teaches him the ropes…
“I think… you’re perfect?”
She leaned in menacingly. “And…? You are going to elaborate, right?”
“Um… You’re like. Hyper competent as a detective. You don’t show any weaknesses like… at all! Oooh! An you take good pride in your looks.”
He figured a bit of flattery would net him more sand for his hourglass.
Kuroyanagi chortled - which transformed into a full blown cackle.
“God…” She wheezed, her hand clasped around her face. “You’re so damn predictable. It’s moments like these that remind myself how far you have to go. I should really teach you how to see the bigger picture next.”
“Huh…?” That was an unexpected reaction.
“Perfect detective… the way you say that sounds like you haven’t learned a thing from the Kamijo case.” It came across as a snarl, like she was considering he really didn’t learn a thing.
“You think your little night frights are bad, huh?”
“I mean… clearly!”
“Then you clearly can’t survive mine.” A look of satisfaction stretched across her face. “Oh wait, I get nightmares, too.”
The way she said it so matter of factually…
Shiroyabu didn’t even have the time to fully comprehend…
“Y… YOU WHAT!?”
“This is what they say… ‘happens to the best of us’. Jabroni - I’m fallable.”
His skin crawled just hearing that.
“Sakaki dying was traumatising, right? Imagine if that were me. You could be the best at anything, but that wouldn’t matter. In the eyes of society - when you run out of usefulness.. Well…”
His heart started racing.
“Jabroni… If I die…” He grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer to her. “How likely is it you’d pick up all the pieces? How likely is it you’d prove to me you’re not a load? How likely ill I be proud of you?”
Sweat crawled across his forehead, a chill enveloped his skin.
“Maybe one of us could die, maybe we’d both buy the farm… or maybe we’d make it out alive while achieving nothing. Look at you, thinking these little nightmares diminish your value…”
Each of her fingers loosened.
“Yet you believe me to be the pinnacle of detective work... while I’m just like you… suffering from my own demons.”
She let him go harshly.
What the fuck does this even mean… what the FUCK does this even mean.
Kuroyanagi raised herself off the bed, approaching the door, Shiroyabau weakly followed her as she tried to leave his apartment.
“So what’s it going to be Jabroni? Will you make your sell-by-date arrive sooner or…”
He knew what she’s going to say next.
“Be a damn detective?”
“Exactly!”
Shiroyabu started swelling up again but this time it was different…
She was still a bitch but he understood what she meant.
“Thank you Kuro-san…”
“Don’t mention it.” She stepped outside his domain, the bright light of the outside world blinding his eyes.
“You’ll do good to internalize what I say… come to the office tomorrow… or don’t. It’s your call.”
And with that she left.
Shiroyabau slumped down on his favorite chair…
That was a lot to take in.
The memories of these nightmares flashed before his eyes yet again.
He knows what he has to do.