Chapter Text
On a street corner in London stood a bookshop. It had always been standing there, usually with a vintage black Bentley parked just outside of it in a spot that it wasn't allowed to be in. It was marked with the words "A. Z. Fell and Co." over the front door.
For a bookshop that had been there for years, not a single book had been sold. Yet it remained opened. Probably due to the fact that whenever men in sunglasses and fancy black suits came by to talk about purchasing the establishment they would disappear soon after leaving the shop.
This would have been an issue if it weren't for the fact that this particular bookshop was being run by an angel. An angel named Aziraphale.
Currently this same angel was drinking wine with a demon. A demon named Crowley.
He didn't run any bookshops. He did look like the type to run one though, if you asked a select batch of firemen. He did however own a Bentley that was always in perfect condition. He also happens to house some beautiful plants despite his condition of looking like he ran a bookshop.
Both of these unlikely acquaintances were fraternizing in the angels bookshop later in the day. The word "CLOSED" was displayed on a small sign behind the door window.
The angel was doing the demon thing of asking too many questions while the demon was doing the angel thing of disregarding them.
"Are you sure nothing feels odd?", Aziraphale asked again. They may have duped their sides for now but you were never in the clear with Heaven or Hell.
"Not any odder than it already does, angel", Crowley sighed, having heard an iteration of this question before.
"It's already been a week. Don't you think they would have come up with something by now?", the angel pried.
"We've both personally seen how they run things. If they have come up with something, it's probably nothing to worry about", Crowley shrugged lazily before sipping his wine. "Not yet at least".
Aziraphale nodded hesitantly, eyes slowly wandering from Crowley to his wine glass.
Crowley watched Aziraphale through his tinted glasses. "You can't be too worried when it comes to this kind of thing. Armageddon took, what... Eleven years to come about?".
Aziraphale glanced at him with a quirked brow before going back to looking elsewhere.
"If we're so incompetent, imagine how bad they are", Crowley smirked.
Aziraphale thought it over and nodded. Crowley was right.
The demon relished the fact he was so good at this. Still. Just to make sure his angel had his mind off of things, "How about the Ritz?".
Aziraphale's eyes met with Crowley's glasses. It seemed like he knew what Crowley was doing but didn't admit it.
"Feeling peckish?"
Aziraphale sighed. "Maybe a little", he admitted.
Crowley finished his glass and set it down on the table beside his seat. He then stood up, putting one hand on his hip while the other dangled at his side. "Alright then".
"It will be my treat though. I owe you for last time". Aziraphale stood up in turn. The wine that was left untouched in his glass disappeared back into the bottle it came from as if it had never been poured.
"Any empty tables?". Crowley already knew the answer but it didn't hurt to make sure.
"Just the one", Aziraphale smiled.
The two walked out of the bookshop, Crowley having held the door open for Aziraphale with his foot.
They then both sat down in the Bentley, one more reluctantly than the other, and sped off towards the restaurant.
At that same time, in a dark, foggy graveyard somewhere, an angel stood. He impatiently tapped his foot as he waited for his newfound partner to arrive. They were late. But what can you expect from a demon?
Gabriel sighed and looked at his wrist where a perfectly silver watch laid. He was already regretting this idea but he didn't have any other choice. One of his angels had committed treason and got away with it.
There was the sound of thunder and lightning and a bright red crack appeared in the ground in front of him. A buzzing came from it and only got louder as it tore open.
A figure pushed through it. There stood the demon he had been waiting for. Beelzebub. They brushed off their shoulders and stepped forward to stand beside the angel. Flies darted around their head.
"So. Any newz about your angel?", they asked without even looking at Gabriel.
"No, of course not. My people are too scared to go near him. Yours?"
"All but one of em are cowardz"
"Just the one?"
Beelzebub didn't react which said it all.
Gabriel sighed and started to pace. "This is ridiculous. How could we let this happen?".
Beelzebub stayed silent and let him have this little moment.
Gabriel sighed and stopped in his tracks. He took a deep breath and displayed a smile on his face. One a man who's barely hanging on would have. "I'm sure we can figure this out".
Beelzebub looked him over. They doubted that.
Gabriel squinted slightly into the distance before snapping his fingers. "I got it! Your side can handle our guy and ours can handle yours!".
"What would that do?", Beelzebub deadpanned.
"You know. Our angel survived hellfire so you must have other ways of disposing demons you don't want", Gabriel commented like it was no big deal.
"And you'll handle our demon then?", Beelzebub asked with crossed arms.
"Naturally", Gabriel nodded.
Beelzebub sighed. "If this doesn't work.."
"Yes, yes", Gabriel waved them off. "We'll just come up with something else".
Beelzebub reluctantly held their hand out. "So, it's a deal then?".
"I don't make deals with demons". The angel scrunched up his nose in disgust.
"An arrangement then", Beelzebub corrected.
Gabriel sighed. He took a breath and shook their hand. "It's an arrangement then. But only temporary".
"Of courze".
They both pulled their hands away as the sound of rubble breaking in front of them was heard.
A priests gravestone with angels and demons fighting engraved on it was suddenly engulfed in flames. The two thought nothing of it as they left to discuss this new arrangement with the rest of their side.
In a perfectly normal place called Tadfield, a perfectly normal boy named Adam lay sleeping with his perfectly normal dog beside him. He was having the wildest dream about a graveyard and two figures he vaguely recognized shaking hands. And fire.
The angel and the demon had just arrived back at the bookshop. They had started a discussion as their dessert came to a close and had been further discussing it on the drive and we're coming to the climax of it as they exited the Bentley.
"If we were still on different sides, we never would have made that arrangement", Crowley shrugged as he shut his door.
"It was an arrangement for a reason! We would keep to ourselves and lend a hand every once in a while while staying on separate sides", Aziraphale corrected with a huffy tone as be also exited the car.
"Kept to ourselves", Crowley quietly repeated in mocking tone.
Aziraphale sighed. "Haven't we already had this discussion, Crowley?".
Crowley silently walked forward toward the door of the bookshop. Aziraphale followed beside him.
Aziraphale took a breath and stopped right at the door. "Look.. We're-"
"An angel and a demon", Crowley cut him off in a flat tone. "Yup. Got it".
Aziraphale's eyes softened with regret, not that Crowley was looking at them. He was currently looking from the door and up to the title above it.
Aziraphale opened his mouth but once a certain thought crossed his mind he shut it again.
"It's getting late", Crowley said far too quickly for him to even seem relaxed.
Aziraphale nodded slowly and put a small smile on his face. His eyes still held that same regret but now it was only softer. ".. Yes. Right".
Crowley turned around with a: "Night angel" and went back to his car.
"Good night Crowley", Aziraphale said with a little wave but Crowley was already speeding away.
Aziraphale sighed and pulled the one door to the bookshop open. He stepped inside with a breath and let the door shut and lock behind him. He looked around the dark room which was now lit with a single lamp that sat on his desk. He looked over to a letter in progress that sat beside it. He felt incredibly lonely.
Crowley was speeding down the road, dodging the few cars that were speckled around him. He grabbed a random CD which happened to be labeled: Mozart. He pushed it into the radio and Mozart's famous: Somebody To Love started to play. He also felt incredibly lonely.
The hours of the night eventually came to pass, as all things do. The angel Aziraphale had not slept for any of them. Celestial beings did not need sleep after all. He was currently sitting at his desk, attempting to catch up on his reading. A thought kept coming to mind however.
"What if Crowley was mad at him?"
He shut his book and looked outside. There was a man struggling to find his keys to his car. Aziraphale narrowed his eyes a little and the man miraculously found them. Aziraphale smiled.
"Neat trick", a low flat voice he might have recognized said behind him.
Aziraphale straightened out in his chair. He was sure he locked the door. He turned around to face the voice. "I'm afraid we're not open at this time".
Crowley had slept for most the hours of the night. He didn't technically need sleep but he quite enjoyed it very much. He was currently sitting in his throne of a chair, staring at his phone. He watched the red light blink on and off, thinking.
"What if Aziraphale was mad at him?"
He looked out his window. Some women was walking down the street. He lowered his head to look over his glasses. She tripped on the sidewalk. Crowley smiled and leaned back.
There was a loud scoff from behind him.
He thought his door was locked. He stood up and looked to face the sound. "Aye, who do you think you are?".
Aziraphale turned to find not one but three demons staring back at him. One of them happened to be Hastur and the other two were disposable demons forced to come along. They didn't seem ecstatic to be here. Hastur on the other hand was far too happy. He had a disgusting grin on his face.
".. I think you have the wrong place", Aziraphale slowly said with darting eyes.
"Oh no. I'm sure it's the right place". Hastur brandished a white rope. Aziraphale raised his hands a little.
"I'm sure we can talk this out. Civilly". He backed up into his desk with a nervous smile and chuckle.
The three demons approached, Hastur on the forefront.
Crowley's eyes went wide as he looked upon the three angels in front of him. It was two random angels and Sandalphon. Angels rarely looked thrilled about anything but they looked even less interested than normal. He gave them a charming smile.
"Oh. Hey guys". Crowley leaned against his desk with his arms lazily crossed.
"We've come to collect you, the demon Crowley", Sandalphon plainly said. The angels beside him displayed a red rope each.
"What happened to our little deal? You leave us alone and we don't make things worse for you?"
"Plans change Crowley", Sandalphon responded with a smile.
Aziraphale felt around his desk. There had to be something he could-
The sound of a pot whistling caught them all off guard. Right. He was going to make tea.
He snapped his fingers and the blinds closed over all of the windows. The bookshop went dark.
"You can't get away that easily!", Hastur scoffed. "You two, find him".
Lucky for Aziraphale, he was dealing with two underlings of hell and a demon who didn't know light switches were a thing.
Crowley on the other hand was still lounging on his desk. "But do they have to?".
"This is not up for debate". The angels came closer.
Crowley looked outside to his Bentley. "Fine. But could you spare a lowly demon one final request?".
Sandalphon sighed. "What?"
Aziraphale knew his bookshop as well as an architect knew the ins and outs to a building they designed. Yes, things were always changing place but he had an impeccable memory.
During the time the demons were shuffling around, knocking into bookshelves and groaning in annoyance at stubbing their toes, Aziraphale had made his way to the teapot.
Just because he was being attacked by demons didn't mean he still couldn't have tea.
"... Music?", Sandalphon asked with a quirked brow.
"Yeh. Music! No harm in that, right?". Crowley stood up. He tapped his foot as a beat from his car started to play loudly from outside.
The angels didn't seem at all inclined to join in. Crowley wasn't surprised though.
There was another snap and the room was illuminated. Aziraphale was sitting at his desk again with four cups of tea, one in hand.
The demons were scattered all over the place. Hastur was hugging a shelf, one of the disposable demons was looking at a book on table manners and the other had stayed completely still by the door.
Aziraphale cleared his throat. The demons looked at him. "Tea?".
Hastur reached out and pushed the closest demon towards the angel. It happened to be the one frozen near the door. He held the rope tightly in hand and slowly approached him.
"Well, go ahead!", Hastur barked out, still clinging to the shelf.
The demon glanced back at him before looking at a cup of tea.
The thing about demons is that they're not very bright. Direct and in depth instructions are needed.
So when Hastur told him to "go ahead" he didn't think about tying up the angel but instead taking a cup of tea. It did smell nice.
Aziraphale took a sip and watched the demons over the cup. He was waiting for.. something.
The song that was playing was: Another One Bites The Dust. Crowley tapped his foot and nodded to the beat. The angels watched with bored eyes. They stepped closer.
"We do not have time for this", Sandalphon deadpanned.
Crowley sidestepped away from the three, making sure he kept beat. He then spun around with a weird shoulder movement.
Then he kicked his leg out and put his hands on his hips. He was having a blast even if this threat was looming over his head.
"Care to dance, chaps?", Crowley asked with a hand out to them.
They gave him a blank stare back.
"Alright", he shrugged and continued with his jerky movements that one could call dancing if they squinted enough.
Hastur let out a high shrill scream as the demon in front of him melted into steaming mush. The teacup fell and landed in the pile.
Aziraphale grabbed the next cup down the line and tossed it at the second disposable demon. He tried to cover his face but obviously that did nothing.
He was left in the same state as the other. Hastur looked between them, panting. He went to dive at Aziraphale but he stopped once he saw the cup in his hand.
"Tea?", Aziraphale asked again.
Hastur barred his teeth and stepped back. "This isn't over!".
"Have a wonderful day", Aziraphale smiled.
With a flash of flames, Hastur was gone.
Aziraphale set his cup down and stood up. He looked at the mess he had created with a frown and a sigh. ".. That won't clean out of the carpet easily".
Crowley had managed to climb onto his desk and was now dancing on top of that.
The song was almost over. He kept glancing at his phone. "Come on! Come on!"
Sandalphon approached. "Enough of this-"
The phone rang.
Crowley dropped off the desk. He quickly pulled the phone off the receiver and held it to his ear.
"Crowley?", Aziraphale asked in a frantic tone.
Crowley smiled with relief and looked at the angels. He grinned. "Sssssssso long!", he hissed. With a bow he disappeared into the phone. Once he was gone the poor thing got engulfed in flames.
The song was over.
Crowley came out the other end at the bookshop. He was standing inches away from Aziraphale who was giving him a surprised look as he held the phone.
The two both took a step back from each other. Aziraphale placed the phone back down on the receiver.
Crowley went to turn around but Aziraphale put an arm up to block him. He gestured at the remains of one of the demons on the floor.
Crowley winced. He slowly stepped over it with much care.
"Should I assume..".
"Angels", Crowley nodded.
"Demons".
The two looked around. They then met eyes. "We can't stay here", Crowley said first.
Aziraphale nodded reluctantly. "I know".
"They'll come back"
"I know"
"We need somewhere to go"
"Where?"
The Bentley pulled up outside.
Crowley gave him a look. Aziraphale could tell what it was without even seeing his eyes.
They stepped out of the bookshop. Aziraphale locked the door behind him. He gave the shop one last look before turning to Crowley and the Bentley.
Crowley gave him a sympathetic frown.
"Are you sure there's no other-"
"Yes I'm sure. If there was I would tell you", Crowley quickly said. He couldn't have him staying here.
Aziraphale sighed. "Alright".
Crowley opened the door for him. "Get in angel".
Aziraphale nodded at him and went to get into the car.
"You shouldn't have to leave", Adam suddenly said as he was standing at the front of the car.
Both the demon and the angel froze.