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You saw Violet everywhere.
Every flash of red was Vi. Every laugh in the crowd sounded exactly like hers. There was no escaping her. She would always be there with you. Moving on wasn’t an option - you found yourself comparing every single person who came near your caged heart to Vi. That wasn’t fair to them. So, you ended it. You saved them the trouble of trying to fix something unfixable.
You wanted to stop seeing her, to stop wondering where she went. You wanted to be able to accept she was dead or she had left. Either one would calm the constant raging thunderstorms that went in your head.
Today was one of your worst days. You swore you had saw her, but of course you hadn’t. You pushed through a crowd only to approach a woman whose hair wasn’t even red- it was just bubblegum pink, darkened by the lighting. You had mumbled an apology and turned away quickly, not needing to see her look of pity. You hated the looks of pity. You just wanted to go home – and you did. You went home and you poured yourself some tap water and just read while sitting on your couch which used to be red but stains, tear, and various other things had erased the color, ignoring the sounds outside your door.
Until you heard a knock.
Your eyes darted suspiciously to your door. Random knocks in this city were never good and your hand came onto the weapon that sat on a small, creaky wooden table besides your chair and picked it up. You walked towards your door, hand touching the door knob cautiously and tugging it open a sliver. The weapon in your hand clattered against the floor and all breath was knocked out of you. It had been years, yet you could still recognize her, especially when she was directly in front of you.
“Violet…?” The word was more of a gasp than anything and she didn’t say anything in response. Instead, her arms wrapped around you in a protective sort of hug. There were more muscles, her back broader. She hadn’t gotten much taller. New scars, different hair, but it was Vi. Your Vi. There was no mistaking it.
She pulled back from the hug, studying everything about it. “You’re….okay.”
She…couldn’t possibly be serious. She disappears for years with no warning and no communication and she’s worrying about your safety? You– you almost couldn’t believe the nerve of her, but you could. You could believe that she would come back and not explain anything, only worry about how you were and your well being. Your mouth was finally catching up with your mind.
“Vi…where were you? You….you completely disappeared from everyone’s life! From my life–” Your voice cracked, but you continued. “You can’t just leave and reappear and say only two words to me and expect me to be perfectly okay with that! What were you doing?”
“Kinda hard to talk to anyone in a jail cell. Listen, y/n, I know this is very confusing and I’ll explain everything, I promise. I missed you so much.” Her hand went up to your face, thumb brushing against your cheek. They felt scarred and calloused, but you wanted to feel that touch forever. Her hand dropped and her voice dipped as she said the next sentence. “But I have to go.”
Your mind instantly zeroed in on “I have to go.” She couldn’t leave, not yet. Not again. You had so much you wanted to say to her. There was so much you could do. You wished she would slow down, just for one second. You couldn’t only have her re-appear for a few seconds and then disappear again. You pinched yourself, hard. The pressure shot into your arm, affirming the realness of the situation. You grabbed her arm and she tensed. You hated that. Your touch wasn’t meant to stir that kind of expression on her face, “No! No, you can’t leave now. You just got here, I- there’s so much we have to talk about. You have to explain this now Vi. Whatever is going on, I can help you! Me and you, we’re a team.”
“I need to help Powder. Y/n, things have changed, okay? And what I need you to do is just stay here and let me do my thing. I just needed to check up on you and make sure you were okay- that’s all . Until I come back, you’re gonna have to act like we never talked.” She was pulling away from you. Why was she pulling away?
“I can’t just let you go. You’re right, things have changed. And I know that change better than you do, Vi.” You didn’t mean to hit a sore spot, but apparently you did. Her arm was tugged harshly from your hand.
“You have to let this go. Us, go, okay? I have important shit to do. I know what I’m doing, I know how to help my own sister!”
Your eyes narrowed.
“I have to let us go? Me? You don’t get to come to my house and fucking– caress my face and tell me to let us go! I never said you weren’t capable of helping Powder, I said I could help you. Why can’t you accept the fact that I can help?” You felt sick, why were you guys fighting? This should be a reconciling. This wasn’t how you wanted things to go.
“Because I’m different, I guess! New year, New Vi. You don’t know me anymore and I don’t know you either.” You felt air leave your throat and your gut twisting.
“Vi, what are you doing? This isn’t like you! This isn’t what we do.” You didn’t mean to sound so small, but you did. You saw a wave of remorse cross her face before it was replaced by stubborn determination. It was just as beautiful as it was heartbreaking.
“It is now. I’ll see you around.” Her hoodie was flipped over her head. “Don’t get into any trouble, y/n.” And then…she just left. She walked away without a glance back.
You almost wished she had never come back.