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She was the calm in the middle of confusion. Nothing is making sense to her. Why is everyone around her running? Screaming? Why are all these people in panic? The blinking red lights are just making her head hurt, making her feel dizzy. She doesn't understand.
All these people around her is making her feel like she's in the middle of the sea; all these people rushing like waves and she's just sitting there in the middle of it all, unmoving. Why was she lying on the floor? What are these clothes that she's wearing? The yellow padded jacket is making her feel hot and the beanie on her head feels like it weighs all the problems of the world, heavy, like a burden.
She stood up, swaying a little.
'Excuse me,' she tried to speak but the words refused to come out. 'What's this? What's going on?'
In her mind ran countless thoughts. Every thought she countered with her own logical explanations, but one question slipped from her grasp.
"Who am I? What's my name?"
She started to draw in unwanted attention and being aware of the looks and murmurs of the crowd gave her so much anxiety. She doesn't know where she was nor who she is. All she knows is that she woke up because of an uneasy feeling brought by screaming and stomping. Her breathing started to become ragged and the world feels like it started caving in.
She looked around at the faces of the crowd, frantically searching for anything that will remind her of something. But she saw none. The fear that's creeping inside her is making her knees tremble. She needed something that will anchor her to reality before she falls into the madness that's beginning to whisper.
"Out of the way!"
"Move! Move!"
"Put your hands in the air!"
The air around her felt more suffocating than before. The people wearing white coats stumbled back as uniformed men flooded into the wide open space of the building. The figures in black has helmets, bulletproof vests, and guns... big, big guns. She gasped in both shock and horror, a little squeak coming from her mouth.
'Someone... Anyone... Please, save me.'
She brought her trembling hands to her mouth, trying to cover it and keep her sobs to herself. Hot tears scorched down her cheeks stinging her eyes. Even through the broken lens of her glasses she could clearly see the danger that she's in. Fear and confusion crept more and more into her rapidly beating heart, sending mixed signals to her brain and body.
Everyone fell to their knees with a scream when a gunshot rang, one of the uniformed men falling limp on the floor. Her small scream of panic sounded along with the shot. Out of shock, she stood frozen, staring directly at the figure standing in front of her with his gun pointed. Another gunshot and another one dead. With no warning an explosion shook the area and people both wearing black and white fell.
"KILLJOY!"
She gasped in a breath she didn't know she was holding. She knows that voice. She remembers that name! It's her name, isn't it?!
Killjoy turns to where the voice seemed to have come from. Her eyes widened in relief. Finally, a familiar face. The person was running towards her and every cell in her body screamed at her to move, to run to this person.
Without any second thought her legs began to move and even before she knew it, she was already running towards him. She stretched her arm trying to reach him, and he did the same. The moment their hands touched Killjoy felt like something inside her came to life. Sparks sparked all over her body making her skin crawl. What a familiar and unfamiliar feeling. Her mind cannot remember this man but her whole being knows this man too well, and the fast yet contented beating of her heart is proof enough.
There's something in the way the man holds her hand; gentle but tight. It's like he's afraid that her hand would slip from his grasp and she would be lost.
He pulled her by the hand, leading her away from danger, leading her somewhere safe.
They ran. They ran through corridors lit with blinking lights, smoke making the air feel dense and polluted. More explosions and gunshots make the otherwise quiet place so noisy and haunting. She could still hear all the screams, the commotions, even from this distance.
This man, taking her by the hand, leads the way to their escape. She can feel an unwavering pressure coming from him. Her eyes can't help but stare at his back. She doesn't understand what the figure on the back of his blue jacket stands for. His hair, even with all this running, manages to stay in place. It even has a peculiar blue streak of color matching the color of his jacket. His hand feels rough even through the half glove covering it. So, he must have been through so much judging only by his hand. And the way he carefully threads the floor... he's used to running... escaping, maybe.
"Are you alright? Say something damn it!"
His voice woke her from the trance that's slowly engulfing her. Killjoy wanted to answer but her voice failed to create any form of sound to reply.
"くそ!" (Shit!)
"STOP!"
Men in uniform poured out into the corridors, raising their guns at them. Killjoy felt her heart skip a beat, worried. But the man holding her kept running forward.
With one swift movement he pulled something out, a gun, and began shooting at the soldiers. He shot with such precision that no bullet missed a target, one for each. And they ran through the slumped, lifeless bodies littered on the floor.
All these violence and deaths. It would make an individual scream and throw up from the trauma. It would keep an ordinary person up for many days and nights, the faces of the bodies haunting their mind. The sight of this much blood would make one tremble into the core. But Killjoy feels none of those. Perhaps she's used to it. Is this their line of work? Since when? Is she like this man? Trained to hold a gun and bury a bullet deep into a person's skull? For how long should they be doing this? And for what purpose?
She opened her mouth a little, trying to breathe through it. They've been running for who knows how long and far that she started to feel breathless. Breathing through the nose is like breathing underwater. But alas! She can finally see the end of the narrow path. Once they were out of the corridors and into open space that seemed like the lobby of a building, the man slowed down and eventually came to a halt. She as well, halted and caught her breath.
"I think... we're safe, for now," he says through heavy breaths, not letting go of her hand nor turning to look at her. Instead, he was looking around, scanning for danger that may be lurking.
There is no one around and the lights were a little dim, some were even flickering, imitating the distant stars blinking in the skies. They can no longer hear any noise. The only thing that's making a sound is their breathing, seemingly harmonizing a tune once lost. Killjoy swallowed a lump in her throat, regaining composure. She was still looking at him, wondering.
"Who are you?" she asked.
She saw how his shoulders stiffened and his breathing stopped for a moment. There was an air of silence before the man slowly turned to face her, his eyebrows furrowed maybe from confusion. He must have seen the look in her eyes when his face softened and he let out a sharp breath, mouth slightly agape.
He chuckled, running his hand through his hair. What does that feel like? She's curious to know. He shook his head, chuckling in disbelief.
"You. You ran to me reaching your hand as if asking for help. You looked so sure when you did, so relieved. You ran to me, ran with me away from a huge gun fight and then ask me who I am? You're crazy! I could have been an enemy! WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME WHO I AM NOW?!"
He grabbed her shoulders, shaking her. Killjoy's eyes widened at his reaction. 'He's right... I could have been killed, he could have killed me... taken me hostage.'
"Why... are you asking me who I am?" He asked again, his grip on her shoulders tightened as he let his head hang.
"Because I felt like I'll be safe with you," she answered, almost in a whisper.
"Killjoy, I know that we're late... that I made you wait for so long, to rescue you from this hellhole but please, please... don't pretend like you don't completely know me don't pretend like you've forgotten about me!" He screams in frustration, voice shaking, and then he whispers, "Please, Klara..."
"Klara? Is that my real name?" She heard him suck in a breath. He lifted his head to look at her face, his eyes searching for something, probably a hint that she must be joking. Afterall, he knows how much she loves to tease him. "Is it my name? But didn't you call me Killjoy earlier? I'm- I'm confused."
His lips pursed into a thin line, unsure how or what to react. Did she really forget? He felt a stabbing pain in his chest. Maybe she is telling the truth. They must have used her in their experiments, perhaps tortured her for her inhuman thinking and intellect and all those sufferings led to her memory loss. She must have fought so hard just to keep all the secrets, all the information that her brilliant mind holds. He's not sure. He doesn't know for sure but this feeling really feels like he lost her all over again.
He didn't answer, keeping his own thoughts to himself. Instead, he slowly removed his grip on his shoulders and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in for a tight and warm, much needed hug. Killjoy gasped from his action, so subtle and unexpected. She could feel her heart beating so fast and loud.
His hug reminds her of something she cannot fathom. But she knows that she remembers this feeling. His warmth, his scent, the gentleness in his touch. He's more than just someone she knows because the intimacy she feels, the way he overreacted to her simple question, all of this is not something you get from just anyone. Not even from a friend. It pains her not to remember anything. It pains her how someone who, just earlier was ready to fight anything, melt into a person that has been longing for this very moment. Tears are starting to swell in her eyes again.
"Yoru. My name is Yoru, but you've always called me Ryo when it's just the two of us in the lab..." He sighs a deep and lonely sigh. "I'm your lover."
The way he finally speaks his name, his tone, it was so gentle and loving that the tears she held back began to flow. A feeling of contentment and relief flooding her.
Her mind forgot his name but her heart refused to forget and held on, remembering the name Ryo Kiritani and the affection that came with it. She embraced him, burying her face into his chest. Her sobs were louder than the sound of an approaching engine, and Yoru can't help but to smile to himself.
"I knew it," she says between sobs. "I knew that I'll be safe with you. My whole body screamed shelter and safety and I just started running towards you because my heart remembers who you are. I'm glad... that you're here. I'm so glad that I'm finally with you."