Work Text:
“Kiss me,” the maroon haired nephilim called IRyS tells you, her blue and purple heterochronic eyes staring deeply within you.
“W-What?” You stammer back, both flustered and confused by her request. “IRyS, you just told me you wanted to break up just now, and now this?” You respond to her hoarsely, gripping the steering wheel of your car tightly.
It was supposed to be a romantic day. Bring your girlfriend IRyS out for a nice date out for Valentine’s, crack some cheesy jokes then maybe, just maybe, bring her back for a night of fun at your place. Except it went everything but well. She was in a cranky mood when you picked her up, you screwed up her order at the restaurant and the two of you got into a fight over a piece of chocolate. When you brought her back to your car, she asked to break up, causing an uncomfortably long and silent drive back to her place.
“So you’re not even going to kiss your girlfriend now?” She pouts. You’re even more confused now.
“IRyS, what the hell are you saying? Girlfriend? You said it was over!” You reply, the tone of your voice raised from the annoyance and confusion. A look of shock briefly flashes on her face, before she goes back to pouting and scowling.
“You're always trying to pin the blame on me, just like at the restaurant. It wasn't my fault I didn't know what a well done steak was," she grumbles, leaning against the car door, refusing to look at you.
You scowl out loudly, beyond exasperated at this point. Being together with IRyS was difficult, to say the least. She absolutely refused to let anyone know you were dating her, on the account that her job as a V-Tuber idol would be jeopardized, and that 9 out of 10 times you'd be shoved away in favour of her female friends, just so that she could maintain her image. And now in that one time you could spend some meaningful time with her, shit gets fucked sideways. Was it really your fault that you just wanted to get this one date to go smoothly?
You let out a sigh, looking at IRyS, who continued to stare out the window, arms crossed and shifting away from you whenever you made any sudden moves. At the end of the day, you loved this half-angel, half-devil physical avatar of hope. She shone a light in your life that nobody else could, and you basked in every moment no matter how short it was. So you do the one thing every man in a relationship does whenever their girl is upset. You apologize.
“Look, I know what I did was wrong, ruining our date and stuff, and I’m sorry, IRyS,” you sigh out. While her threat stung you and confused you like hell, you decided to bury those feelings for now, opting to not wanting to lose her first and foremost. She can be a handful at times, but you loved her, truly.
"Now you’re just making me feel guilty over it," she goes, finally turning to you only to glare at you.
“We’re done,” she hisses.
You’re speechless at that moment. Shock, confusion, anger and a multitude of other emotions swim through you as you try to process your thoughts and her words. At this point you've already exhausted every tactic you had to placate her, but her own insecurities and self doubt due to her controversial origins always drove a wedge between the two of you whenever a discourse arose. It's why you adopted the tactic to apologize first, before things blew up further, and before you say anything truly hurtful to her.
Yet no matter what you did, it could not prepare you from the piercing words she flung at you, carving straight into your heart like a blade. Your lips curl into a trembling frown, and you instinctively turn away from her, only to see your partial reflection in the window, one of a man that is on the verge of breaking down, only held back by the fact that you did not wish to cry in front of the woman you once called your lover.
So you do the only thing you could and focus on getting this over with, before your cracks begin to show. You immediately turn to her, unbuckling your seatbelt and reaching over to her. She flinches for a moment, seeing your arm outstretched towards her direction, but you weren't aiming for her. Your arm instead reaches toward the door, and you fumble trying to press the locking switch, your eyesight suddenly going blurry. It was only then you realized you had already begun crying.
"W-What are you doing, Anon?" She asks, as if only now she's questioning everything.
"You said it was over, right? Then let's do it. Let's get this over with," you answer her through gritted teeth, trying your best to hold back the flood of tears that you were only going to let through once she's left your car. Your fingers fumble, hesitating to pull the metaphorical plug on your relationship that was the door handle.
C'mon, just get this done with. She doesn't want you anymore, she'll find another man or another woman to love her.
As you continue fumbling with the door handle, IRyS' arms come out and wrap around yours, pulling you away from the door.
In heated tears you glare at her at supposed loving actions.
"WHAT NOW?" You shout, the bottled up feelings within you beginning to burst out. IRyS flinches again, but holds on to you adamantly.
"This- This isn't what I wanted!" She shouts back at you, tears now forming in her eyes, which only causes you to be even more distraught. You hated hurting her feelings, even it meant yours, even as much as it hurt now.
You should be simmering with rage now, or flooded with sadness, but with her holding on to your arm for dear life, you can't even feel your own emotions right as she jumbles everything up inside your head. Tears flow unabashedly from your eyes as you see her face marred by tears. She had always been particular about how she appeared in public, for her physical features were heavily scrutinized. Her heterochronic eyes, her bumpy, angular horns, and how even with all her extraneous effort to look physically impeccable, others would call her a goblin, or ugly faced. But to you she had always been one thing, and one thing only;
Beautiful.
It takes the two of you a few moments of muffled sniffling and snorting as you just let this moment pass. Her tears glimmered as they fell, sparkling as they hit your forearm which she still held onto like a teddy bear. Your own tears begin to soak your thighs as you let them flow freely. It was only when she started letting go of your arm that you turned back to look at her.
"I-I never wanted to break up with you," she sniffles, her lips trembling as she speaks those words to you.
"I-I'm just scared that because of all my mistakes, you'll resent me, and because of my habit to deflect any kind of criticism, you'll eventually h-hate me for it," she continues, this time going into ugly sobs.
"I know I'm not as pretty as the other girls, and I can be very demanding and I'm not perfect, and it would make more sense if you were with another girl," she spews out, going into a tirade of her own insecurities.
Your arm, which is now resting on her lap, wraps around her waist as you bring her closer towards you.
Sometimes thoughts and emotions can be conveyed through words, carefully articulated so that the other party can properly understand you without any misconception. But in other times, everything, from your thoughts and feelings to the inexplicable amount of love that mere words could not encompass can only be conveyed through an embrace.
So you hug the woman you love. You wrap your arms around her and pull her into you, holding her so tightly like you never ever wanted to let her go ever again. IRyS, as divine as her origins were, felt your very human emotions and took them in stride, breaking down into ugly sobs, but reciprocating your embrace with her own hug.
Through all the turmoil and chaos that stormed within you, a light shone. Not one that was bright, nor one that was so bedazzling that it blinded the senses. This one was warm, resonating in tune with your own heartbeat. A warmth that, while not all encompassing, would keep you at ease so long as you held on to it. A warmth that made you feel safe and welcome. A warmth that gives you hope.
"Kiss me," she asks you once more, except this time in between her snivelling sobs, her wet, heterochronic eyes glimmering like a child begging to be attended to, so this time you place her cheeks within your hands, your palms collecting her tears as you wipe them away with your thumbs.
You look into those beautiful blue and purple eyes, how her halo and horns contrasted yet complimented each other, and how, despite all the sadness and emotional turmoil you were going through, she still made you smile. IRyS closes her eyes and pushes her head forward, and so do you. You don't see her, but you could feel her, and the moment your lips touched it was everything you could ever ask for. Her warmth, her love, her.
And in an instant your mind is transported to various, dreamlike futures. One where she’s laughing in the golden rays of sunlight, the beachside wind blowing her maroon hair wildly. One where she’s sitting across from you at a candlelit table, her starry eyes staring at you lovingly. And one future where she leans her head onto your shoulder, her soft, rhythmic breathing indicating how comfortable she is around you that she would fall asleep within your arms.
One day you will grow old, weak and eventually die. Heck, you might even die earlier than that if your luck was that bad, and IRyS, well, she'll probably live for much much longer than you thanks to her divine bloodline. Maybe your whole life is probably a drop in the bucket compared to hers. Maybe what you are to her is nothing more than a blink of the eye, a fleeting moment. Maybe she will forget about you and that this would be the one last kiss she'll ever remember.
But through this kiss, this one, fleeting and ephemeral moment, you love her, and you always will. For as long or as short as your life will be, you wanted her to live in your heart, and even if it's just for a single moment, you felt that spark of hope within you, enough to keep you going for the rest of your life, even if it costed every single thing you had. Even if it would break your heart and body. Even if it meant you could never truly live without her. Because you loved her, truly.
Your eyes were the one to open first, and you see before you the woman you love with her own eyes closed, yet still tearing up. With reluctance, you break the kiss and pull away from her, and a small whine escapes from her lips as she opens her eyes pitifully. As you return back to your seat properly, you look out towards the empty night street, the post-kiss glow quickly fading into the sobering coolness of reality. The warmth she gifted was fleeting, and even now you desired to be with her, to be embraced by her arms and her love until the end of time. But the pain you felt from her words still stung when you thought about them, and you wonder, will you be able to live with that pain should she really leave you?
You turn to her, who still sat in the passenger seat quietly, her hands on her lap. Her head turns to you and the moment your eyes meet your heart melts once more.
Hopelessly in love, you were.
Leaning over, you open the door on her side, letting the cool night air blow into your face for a moment. IRyS unbuckles her seatbelt as you get back into your own seat, but she doesn’t leave your car just yet.
“Anon, I-” she starts.
“I love you.”
The words leave your lips before you could even think them. Before any thought or emotion could even cross your mind, those words came out. Your hand shoots out to grab hers, and you grip it tightly, afraid that if you let go she’ll disappear forever.
“I love you, IRyS. I love you so much. Please don’t ever say you want to break up. Please don’t ever tell me it’s over. Please, please, don’t leave me,” you beg her. She grips your hand in return, and you feel that same warmth she’s given you all this time.
“I won’t. I promise I’ll always love you. And I promise that won’t be our one last kiss,” she says softly. And with that you let go of her hand, still feeling the faint warmth of her hand within your palm. She exits the car and heads back to her home, your eyes still following her form even as she’s just about to enter the house. Her head turns back to you one more time for the night, and in your heart you sincerely hope it wouldn’t be for the last time. Her lips move in a particular motion, mouthing out a sentence which you could understand if you couldn’t hear her, for it was a simple, yet memorable one.
“I love you,”