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Kim wasn’t the type of person to attach himself to anyone or anything. He liked being alone, making music under the moonlight and feeling the breeze on his face while playing with his guitar’s strings.
He was the kind of person to keep things to himself and usually liked to work solo.
So, it’s no wonder that within all their years of living, Kinn and Tankhun have never seen their younger brother act this way.
After passing a couple of months away from each other, both of them figured they’d visit Kim for a little while and see how he was doing. The only mistake they made was coming uninvited.
Walking up the stairs to the house’s entrance, all they could hear was the loud noise of objects being thrown to the floor and cabinets harshly closing as if the house was being thoroughly searched.
The two boys immediately imagined the worst and hurried inside the house, only to find it in awful condition, books flung across the room and chairs scattered all around, some of them broken by the impact. They found Kim in the middle of it all, opening cabinets and throwing all of their content to the floor, breathing heavily as he ran around the room seemingly looking for something.
Trying to stop him from wrecking his home even more than it already was, the two brothers held Kim’s shoulders firmly, continuously asking him what he was looking for and why he trashed his whole house to find it.
Saying they were worried was an understatement, both of them had never seen him like this and they knew that what he had lost must’ve been extremely important for him to go on a rampage just to find it.
The look on his face was enough to shut them both up.
Seeing Kim’s pained expression was something not many people had the chance to see. He rarely lets people see how affected he is by a situation, so facing his brothers with such distress on his face told them how bad this was.
He pushed both his brothers’ arms away and frantically looked around the room, desperately running his fingers through his hair. He was sweating heavily and stuttered out a few words to explain the situation.
- “The box. I can’t find the box.”
Tankhun gasped, trying to make Kim feel like somebody understood him, but none of them knew what the box was.
- “What box? What are you talking about, what’s going on?” Kinn asked, holding Kim’s shoulder to try and bring him back to the conversation.
- “It’s a black rectangular box, I..” He stopped to take a breath, finally looking at his brother. “I lost it.”
He started walking around, both hands on his head as he looked to the floor, tears almost prickling his eyes.
- “I lost it. I can’t believe I fucking lost it.” He whispered as a tear dropped down, flowing on his cheek. “FUCK!” He suddenly yelled, angrily kicking a chair away from him, breaking one of its legs in the making.
Kinn and Tankhun shared a hesitant look. They felt helpless about their younger brother’s situation and weren’t sure if asking was such a great idea. They figured the box must’ve contained important files or something of the sort. Kinn slid the chair away from Kim and stared at him, worried.
- “That was all I had left of him.” He sat down on the floor, hiding his face with his hands, letting another tear flow down. “I can’t lose it, please. I can’t lose the box.” He was whispering, making it hard for his brothers to understand, but they managed to hear most of it.
Kim’s mind was spinning with guilt. He had never felt like this before and his own actions surprised him.
That box was filled with memories of him and Porchay’s time together. It was all he could hold onto after leaving for his own safety.
That boy was the only one that had ever made him feel alive. Having to push him away was the most difficult thing he ever had to go through.
The guitar pick he would always kiss before his gigs for good luck, the pictures he would look at every day and the movie ticket he kept after watching one with him. He lost all of those. Would he ever be able to feel the warmth he always felt while looking at those photos again?
Meanwhile, Kinn had caught onto what was happening. He left Tankhun awkwardly hugging Kim inside while he went out to make a phone call. He was aware of his brother’s intricate relationship with Porchay, but he didn’t know how serious Kim was about him.
- “Porsche? Is Porchay with you?”
Wherever that box was, Kinn would find it.
He figured the box had something to do with his boyfriend’s brother because of Kim’s words, saying that was all he had left of him.
He thought the box might be with the concerned person, which is why he was now talking with Porsche. Seeing his brother like this made him want to do anything he could to help.
- “He’s in his room, why?”
- “Could you get him on the phone, please?”
He heard Porsche stand up from what sounded like his couch. “Uh, yeah, sure, wait.”
He waited a little while before hearing Porchay’s shy voice speak up, confused as to why Kinn out of all people wanted to talk to him.
- “Hello?”
Kinn talked to him for a while, asking him if he had the box with him and explaining the situation briefly to him. There was a small pause.
‘Chay was confused. The last time he and Kim spoke was when he went back to his house to give him his guitar back.
That was where he had found the black box. At first glance, he thought it was his because he thought only him would be that cheesy to keep pictures of them together in a box.
But when he arrived back home and realized it wasn’t his, he didn’t want to return it because he liked reading what Kim had written on the pictures. It made him feel like what he and Kim experienced together was real.
So, receiving such a call from Kinn was a surprise, especially after hearing about how miserable Kim is without that box, considering he took it just the day before.
Porchay ended the call without answering Kinn’s question which he immediately regretted doing after realizing he just hung up on a mafia boss and ran out the door.
On Kinn’s end, he felt a bit confused by the boy’s behaviour and tried calling back, to no avail.
Going back inside, he saw that Tankhun still had gotten no clue as to what was going on. All Kim had done while Kinn was gone was stand up to search for the box again. They were getting worried about him being so worked up about the loss of his box and desperately wanted to know what was in it that was making their brother so miserable.
No one else had the time to interrogate him as Porsche and his brother unexpectedly pulled up to the house.
Porchay got off the bike and ran inside as Tankhun came out, a black rectangular box in his hands. Kinn and Tankhun stayed outside to talk with Porsche as the two boys talked inside.
Kim was standing up, looking around the room and sighing before locking eyes with ‘Chay.
- “I have it, P’Kim. I have the box.”
There was a long pause where Kim’s eyes filled with relief and guilt, remembering everything that he had done to him in the past month.
He took the box, tossing it aside before pulling him for a tight hug where he finally released the breath he had been holding for a while now. Porchay’s face was buried into Kim’s neck and both of them finally felt the tension between them fade away.
It was like both of them were communicating into the hug, the warmth of it telling ‘Chay that Kim really cared about him and that it’s been real since the beginning of it all.
Kim let himself cry into the embrace, letting himself show his true emotions for the boy he loved.
- “I love you too, ‘Chay. I’m sorry I couldn’t say it before now.”