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"Ne, Atsushi-kun. Do you like Akutagawa?"
What.
Nakajima Atsushi looked fearfully at his superior before jumping back as though he'd been shocked.
"What?! No! He tried to kill me on multiple occasions! Of course not!" the weretiger exclaimed, shaking his head violently. However, Dazai Osamu looked far from convinced. The brunette watched Atsushi's expression with obvious amusement, a smile slowly growing on his face.
"You do like him!"
"Eh?! No-"
"Be quiet already, you two!" Kunikida Doppo scolded, rubbing his temples. Atsushi returned to work anxiously, already hearing the gears turn in his superior's head.
"And that's where I need your help, chibi!" Dazai declared proudly on the sofa of his living room. Nakahara Chuuya was next to him, boredly scrolling through his phone. The redhead spared a glimpse at the other, sighing.
"This is literally the stupidest thing you've ever made me do. And that's saying something, mackerel."
"But slug! Aren't you tired of seeing the exact same thing? With no progress, whatsoever?" Dazai whined, resting a head on Chuuya's shoulder. "It's just so boring! Nothing new to talk about! Always the same old story."
"Of course you'd say that. Besides, your standards for a 'good love story' are almost next to impossible," Chuuya snorted, ruffling a hand on Dazai's hair.
The redhead wasn't exactly wrong. Dazai's standards for a relationship sky-rocketed after he met Chuuya. Now to him, the best romance included many near-death incidents, an immense amount of trust, and lots of insults. And the occasional death threat every five minutes, too. But of course, that's just the Double Black relationship summarized, is it not?
"I know," Dazai muttered, "but Atsushi-kun and Akutagawa definitely have what it takes! They're almost like a mini version of me and you! Though, they're both taller than the chibi, so maybe that isn't the right wording..."
"Oi, would you shut up?! And what kind of mentor gets involved with his students' love lives? That's creepy as hell. Just leave 'em be so as to not cause any unnecessary conflict."
"But Chuuyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."
Now, Chuuya was only human (for the most part), so when his oh-so-loveable (not) husband looks at him with those bright wide eyes, who could say no? And perhaps Chuuya did ship their 'mini versions' just a teeny tiny bit, but that's not for anyone to know.
So here begins the greatest plot of Soukoku: to bring their subordinates out of their shells and finally get them together. Dazai will obviously oversee Atsushi, and Chuuya will take Akutagawa. A relationship needs time to develop though, and the two could only do so much.
Turns out that 'so much' is still a lot.
"Dazai-san, do I seriously have a mission with Akutagawa again?" Atsushi whined, looking at his mentor pleadingly. Dazai only smiled as he relaxed into his seat.
"Why of course! You two are the most powerful alliance of the Agency and the Port Mafia! It only makes sense to place you two together!" In reality, Atsushi was meant to go with Higuchi, but Chuuya pulled some strings. It's quite useful to have a Port Mafia executive as your tiny chibi husband, no?
"What about you and Chuuya-san?!" To that, Dazai waved an arm carelessly, rolling his eyes.
"I have more important things to attend to than go do errands with some chibi," he said, head held high at the thought. Atsushi was very obviously unconvinced, but he said nothing, only grumbling to himself as he began to prepare his stuff for the mission.
"So we meet again, Jinko," Akutagawa scowled as the weretiger made his way next to him. Atsushi grumbled, kicking an invisible rock under his foot.
"It's not like I wanted to be here, anyway."
The Rashoumon user made a small sound before looking down, avoiding eye contact with Atsushi.
The two then stood in an awkward silence, staring blankly ahead as they waited orders. No conversation or eye contact at all, much to Dazai's dismay. Normally they would be so talkative! Always arguing and insulting each other! What went wrong?
Dazai and Chuuya were currently hiding behind a bush, inspecting their subordinates. Chuuya scowled, watching Mini Double Black's conversation play out. Well, could you even call it a conversation if they weren't talking to each other? He sighed.
"Why aren't they saying anything?" Dazai whispered, staring at the younger duo. Atsushi was rocking back and forth on his heels, twiddling with his thumbs. Meanwhile, Akutagawa was as still as a rock.
"Isn't it obvious, Mr. Genius? Atsushi hurt his feelings," Chuuya grumbled, looking at Akutagawa sympathetically. "He said he didn't wanna be here with Akutagawa."
"That goth has feelings?"
That earned a punch from Chuuya, to which Dazai hissed in pain.
"Shut up, idiot. I'll have you know-"
However, Chuuya's threat was interrupted as a large gang surrounded their mentees. They circled around Atsushi and Akutagawa, all holding guns.
"Stop right there! Don't move!" a man from the organization yelled. Akutagawa rolled his eyes.
"Oh, how scary. The children have guns," he coughed. Atsushi bit back a silent snicker.
"Hey brat," a man from the group stepped forward, aiming his gun at Akutagawa's head. "May I remind you that you're the one surrounded here. We can kill you in a second."
"Oh really? Shall we test your theory, then? Come at me---you will not last another minute," the raven-haired man smirked, only provoking the opposing side more. The man that spoke raised his hand as a signal.
"Fire!"
All at once, a barrage of bullets came speeding towards the duo. The world waited for them to make impact, but none came.
Dazai and Chuuya watched proudly as their subordinates made quick work of their opponents, not even allowing them another blink. Honestly, from an onlooker's perspective, it would've been very hard to see exactly what happened. One second, Shin Soukoku was surrounded, the next, all of the men circling them were on the floor. Of course, they were still breathing, as Akutagawa would've definitely gotten an earful from Atsushi had he done anything more. Not to mention the Rashoumon user keeps his promises.
The duo then turned to each other, looking like they had something to say. The older Double Black leaned forward in anticipation, Dazai's eyes blown wide and Chuuya's face in a thoughtful scowl. This is it! They're finally gonna get their crap together! Ah, yes, Dazai's plan never fails-
Akutagawa nodded at Atsushi before turning and walking in the opposite direction. Atsushi sighed as he also walked away, not looking back. Dazai visibly deflated and Chuuya was shaking with frustration.
"Why can't they get together already, damnit!? I've got other things to do than worry about their stupid relationship status," the redhead groaned into his gloved hands, sitting back against a tree trunk. Dazai poked his nose, a smile on his face that screamed 'I am scheming, fear not, chibi!'
"Do not fret, dearest chibikko," the ability nullifier spoke, "I have other plans up my sleeve."
Dazai's plan B: force Shin Soukoku into a room together all day.
While it was very similar to the plan prior, it allowed Soukoku's subordinates to be able to really talk. Chuuya rolled his eyes at his husband's plot, but Dazai only wagged a finger, saying 'You'll regret that, Chuuya!'
Firstly, for Dazai's scheme to work, he needed to find a room suitable enough for an insanely strong weretiger and a man whose clothes turn into literal blades. However, upon asking Ranpo for help on this matter, the great detective merely stated, "Why won't the Agency office work? I'm sure Akutagawa and Atsushi will stay if you asked." Dazai's eyes widened in understanding as he smiled and thanked Ranpo. Thus, that was how the plan was modified to fit the ADA office.
After a lot of convincing, Dazai managed to acquire Yosano's infirmary with the promise he will carry all of her bags on her next shopping trip. After ensuring that all the valuables in the room were locked up and safe, Dazai declared it time to bring in his children subordinates. He took out his phone from his pocket, searching up Akutagawa's contact and pressing 'call'. It was quickly answered.
"Dazai-san!" Dazai couldn't help but smile in amusement at Akutagawa's surprise.
"Akutagawa~ What a lovely day today, is it not?" he sang through the phone.
"Yes, sir! It is truly a wonderful day. Is there something you needed? Perhaps you need to talk to Chuuya-san?" Akutagawa replied quickly. The brunette waved his hand dismissively, though Akutagawa wouldn't have seen it.
"If I needed to see the hatrack, I would've called him myself," Dazai stated. "What I need is for you to come to the Agency, right now. You have five minutes."
Yes, Daza-"
The call ended with a click and a satisfied smile on Dazai's face.
Now all he needed was Atsushi.
Getting ahold of the weretiger would be really easy. He's just outside! However, putting him and Akutagawa in the same room without them realizing it will be a lot more difficult. Thankfully, Dazai is far too stubborn to come up with what's deemed a 'normal plan'.
"Atsushi-kun! Are you busy?" the brunette called, poking his head out the infirmary door. Atsushi was currently buried under a stack of papers, with Kunikida lecturing him as well. Not to mention Ranpo demanding that Atsushi give him the hidden stack of candy in his apartment, which... how'd he even know?!
In other words, Atsushi was most definitely busy.
"Yeah, my hands are kinda full at the moment, Dazai-san..." Atsushi muttered sheepishly. "Do you need something?"
"Ah, well! You are no longer busy!" Dazai declared, marching over and grabbing Atsushi by the collar. He smiled as Kunikida began to yell sermons at him, things about responsibility and whatnot. How boring. The ability nullifier threw Atsushi into the infirmary, ignoring each and every one of Kunikida's calls.
"Sorry, Kunikida-kun~ I've got some business to attend to!" Dazai practically sang as he slammed the door.
"Eh...Dazai-san?" Atsushi meekly asked as Dazai inspected the infirmary. "What did you need me for?"
"Ne, Atsushi-kun. Get on the bed."
"What?!" Atsushi turned bright red, redder than Chuuya's hair.
"Go on the bed and get under the covers."
"Huh?! No, I- ... I don't think that's appropriate."
"What do you mean?" the 'genius' asked. Atsushi watched as his mentor's face contorted in understanding. "Ah."
"BAHAHAAHA! Ah, Atsushi-kun! I'm very much taken, but thank you for the offer!" Dazai laughed, clutching his stomach. "And anyways, this is for your love crisis. So if you may, please hide under the covers. You'll know when to come out."
With that, Dazai left the room and a very confused, embarrassed Atsushi. However, the weretiger did follow the brunette's instructions, albeit weird. He climbed into the cot and pulled the covers over himself, hoping that would suffice. Atsushi was in the cot farthest from the door and was very much shielded by the curtains, so it'll be fine, he thought. However, another question entered his head:
Did Dazai-san say he had a partner?!
"Ah, Akutagawa! So glad you could make it!" Dazai greeted the confused emo with a smile. "Just right this way."
The brunette led Akutagawa through the office to the infirmary, opening the door and gesturing for the Rashoumon-user to enter. When the raven-haired man showed reluctance, Dazai only said this one line:
"Don't worry! It's not gonna kill you. I think."
If that was meant to reassure Akutagawa, it did a very bad job of doing so. However, the man went alone with Dazai's request and stepped into the room, albeit cautiously. As soon as his whole figure was in the infirmary, Dazai slammed the door shut, locking it with a click. Akutagawa's eyes widened in shock. Dammit! He let his guard down! He immediately activated Rashoumon, getting ready to knock down the door, but Dazai raised a hand through the window, signaling for him to stop.
"You're such a worry-wart, Akutagawa! I just want you to speak with Atsushi-kun, that's all!" Dazai said, pouting, The sight was...strange for Akutagawa, to say the least. Seeing his superior make a face like that, well, it was appalling.
"Anyways, I'll leave you two to it! Any damage to the infirmary is one month of being Yosano-sensei's assistant!" The brunette smiled, waving through the window as he slowly inched away. Upon doing so, Kunikida stepped in front of him, blocking his path.
"And what are you doing exactly with those two?" the blond raised an eyebrow. Dazai smiled.
"Bonding moment!"
He then slipped away before Kunikida could question him further.
Akutagawa stared at the door, dumbfounded. Speak with Atsushi? Whatever does Dazai-san mean by that? He's spoken with the weretiger numerous of times, due to having to work together an abnormal amount. In fact, where even was the furry boy? He wasn't even here! This must've been all an elaborate trap by the Armed Detective Agency! Akutagawa sighed, ready to break the door down, when he heard a noise.
"Don't you dare harm that door!"
Ah.
The raven-haired man swiftly turned around, coming face to face with the weretiger. He rolled his eyes, wondering whether to be annoyed or amused. He settled for both.
"Harm it? Jinko, it's an inanimate object. I doubt it'll care if I shred it to pieces."
"Yes, but Yosano-sensei will care! And you and I do not want to be her errand boys for a month! That woman is terrifying!" Atsushi squeaked, nervously rubbing his neck. Akutagawa cursed himself for finding Atsushi's fright cute. He shouldn't be thinking his enemy is cute, dammit!
To prevent any embarrassing things from slipping out of his mouth, the emo quickly changed the subject.
And by that, the author means he walked over to the nearest cot, sat down, and refused to speak. Atsushi made his way in front of him, still attempting conversation.
"Why do you think Dazai-san put us in this room?"
"..."
"How was your end for the paperwork in the joint mission?"
"...."
"What'd you have for breakfast?"
"..."
Honestly, it was more of a terrible interrogation than a chat at this point. Atsushi, exhausted at his attempts of talking, then collapsed onto the cot, right next to Akutagawa. He made note of how the emo didn't seem to tense up at the sudden closeness, but decided against mentioning it.
The two laid in silence, the only noise being the soft hum of the fan and the muffled voices of the agency members down the hall. Atsushi's mind raced for a good conversation starter, yet he found nothing. He should ask Dazai-san how he manages to talk to Nakahara-san despite hating him. Or perhaps it's simply an extrovert thing. Atsushi held in a sigh, trying his best to remain quiet. Why is communicating so hard?
And finally, Akutagawa cracked.
"Don't tell me you're just gonna lie there, jinko." It was a soft voice, followed by a muffled cough. The weretiger let out a breath; Akutagawa does want to talk to him!
"I didn't know what to say," Atsushi said sheepishly, staring at the pale tiles on the ceiling. "And I thought you didn't want to talk."
"I don't."
"Oh."
"But I guess Dazai-san wants us to speak, so I shall do that."
Atsushi frowned, sitting up so he could face Akutagawa. "You don't need to center everything you do around Dazai-san."
"Tch. You of all people, jinko, should not be telling me how to live my life," the raven-haired man scoffed, sending the two into another abysmal silence. It was unbearable; at least to Atsushi. Should you ask him, he would tell you he could not guess what was going through the Rashoumon user's mind at the time.
"Sooo, how are things going at the mafia?" A deep sigh followed the question. For a moment, Atsushi was expecting to have his neck snapped in half, but-
"It is as it normally is. How is your job with the agency?"
A decent response. How strange.
The weretiger was quite shocked, as he was quiet for a few seconds. Though those few seconds were enough for Akutagawa to react.
"This is going nowhere." For once, Atsushi could agree, slowly nodding his head.
"Say, why don't we play a game?"
"A what?"
Atsushi furrowed his brow, trying to explain what a game was to this ruthless killing machine of the mafia-
"It's like- this thing people play for fun. Jeez, would I have to explain 'fun' to you now-"
"I know what a game is, idiot. I'm just wondering what kind of game someone your IQ would suggest," Akutagawa coughed, nose upturned haughtily. The weretiger pouted, sticking out his lip. It was this cute kind of pout, one that made you want to reach out and squish the cute puffed out cheeks and just kiss-
Focus, Ryuunosuke.
Atsushi, completely unaware of the inner turmoil he just put Akutagawa through, perked up.
"What about two truths and a lie?"
Akutagawa snorted. "What are we, children during playtime?"
"Well, it's a good way to get to know each other!" Atsushi crossed his arms defensively. "And that's how we're supposed to bond, right?" Well, the weretiger is somehow right, though of course Akutagawa would never admit it. "Besides, it's not like you have any better ideas."
The Rashoumon user let out a deep breath, rolling his eyes. "Fine."
Atsushi's eyes lit up, and his entire being practically sparkled. Akutagawa then again cursed himself for finding it endearing.
"Alright, I'll go first. One, I can turn into a tiger. Two-"
"You are an absolute moron. Of course I know that's true," Akutagawa interjected, looking at Atsushi with pure disappointment. The weretiger huffed.
"I'm trying to make it easy for you. Now stop interrupting me!" he swatted his hand dismissively before continuing. "So, as I was saying- Two, I love chazuke-tea on rice-and three, I live alone."
"The lie is the third one," Akutagawa responded almost immediately, to Atsushi's surprise. He even got it right!
"How?"
"Well, the first one was obvious, and I imagine someone like you would like something so... strange. Plus, I know Kyouka lives with you," the raven-haired man responded.
"Hey, what do you mean by 'someone like me?!" Atsushi snapped, but then the rest of Akutagawa's statement registered in his mind. "And how do you know Kyouka lives with me-?"
"I used to eat chazuke religiously," Akutagawa ignored all of Atsushi's previous comments, instead immersing himself in his own memories. He remembers the joy of finding hot rice doused in tea--Gin would steal it and bring it back to her brother and friends, where they all shared. They would laugh and tell jokes as the food warmed their once empty stomachs before having a comfortable rest in the arms of each other. Akutagawa's lips turned upwards at the recollection, though he turned away to stop Atsushi from seeing it.
"My sister and I loved it." He continued no further and Atsushi did not press him, instead looking down at his feet.
After a few moments of comfortable silence, Akutagawa spoke once more.
"I believe it is my turn, yes?" Atsushi only nodded, taken aback that Akutagawa decided to follow through with their 'bonding game'. It seems all the emo does is surprise him.
"First, I have a sister in the mafia. Second, I have a pet bunny. Third, This coat-including my shirt and pants-are the only clothes I have."
Well, earlier events already revealed to Atsushi that Akutagawa's sister was Gin in the Black Lizard, so it's easy to rule that out as true. The weretiger honestly wouldn't be surprised if the emo had no other articles of clothing besides the ones on his back. Plus, the idea of Akutagawa having a pet - and a bunny of all things... It was appalling.
"Was the bunny a lie?" Atsushi asked hesitantly, scanning Akutagawa's face. However, the Rashoumon's expression betrayed nothing. Then suddenly, his lips cracked into a smile.
"I know that you only see me as some bloodthirsty mafia dog, but surely you believe that I have a fashion sense?" Akutagawa said, amused. Atsushi's jaw dropped.
"You have a pet bunny?" he said, complete and utter terror on his face, for what was Akutagawa but not a scary mafia man with no respect for life?/p>
"Yes. His name is Kappa." Well, if the small smile on the mafioso's face when talking about his bunny scared Atsushi, that's not his problem, right?
"I never would've expected that," Atsushi muttered, more to himself than anything.
"No one did," Akutagawa replied. "In fact, when Higuchi found out, she pestered me for weeks for a picture of me with him."
"Shall we continue to the next round?"
And so, for the next hour, the new generation of Twin Dark played Two Truths One Lie. While at first it was awkward, they began to fall into a nice rhythm of talk.
"The agency let you in after that exam? What morons!" Akutagawa gaped. Atsushi rolled his eyes.
"Jeez, I proved myself to have morals. That was what was important!"
"Well, the Agency are morons either way."
Atsushi cracked a smile. "Yet we're still here. That's gotta count for something, if we always have the mafia's rabid dog on our tail."
"We have a truce, idiot. Otherwise I would've killed you already."
"Mhm."
"What?! It's true!" Akutagawa flushed at Atsushi's smirk, shaking the weretiger (since well, he couldn't just attack him.)
They continued their conversations well into the afternoon, and at five o'clock sharp, they were kicked out by Kunikida.
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but," Atsushi spoke softly, walking next to Akutagawa towards the pier. "I had fun today. With you."
"I myself enjoyed our time together," Akutagawa replied rather stiffly, but after hours with the emo, Atsushi's learned just how bad he was at expressing his feelings. Which was endearing, to say the least.
"Well, I shall be heading to my quarters now," Akutagawa mumbled, turning to Atsushi. "Thank you for today." He then turned on his heel and walked off, the golden glow of the sunset encasing his dark figure.
And Atsushi's mind could only think one thing: Oh shit.
Dazai made sure to come to work early today, as he knows his great wisdom will be needed. In fact, a visitor shall be coming by in three, two, one....
"Dazai-san!"
Ah. There he is.
Dazai was already grinning as he turned to face his weretiger subordinate. "Atsushi-kun! What a fine day, isn't it?"
"Dazai-san!" Atsushi yelled again, slamming his hands on his mentor's desk. "I... I-"
"Breathe, Atsushi-kun. Use your words."
"I think I do like Akutagawa, but I'm not entirely sure because who develops feelings in the span of like five hours, and he's our enemy and stuff and after everything the Agency will obviously fight the Mafia at some point and if he did like me that could cause major complications and what if I didn't even really like him?! Then he'd get all upset and hate me more and I don't want him to hate me-"
"Atsushi-kun."
Atsushi knew that voice. The same voice Dazai used before he slapped the living daylights outta him. So obviously, he stilled and backed away from Dazai's reach. However, the brunette was laughing?!
"You're overthinking this, Atsushi-kun," Dazai smiled. "Just tell him. It couldn't hurt, right?"
"But what if he thinks I'm weird or something?! Why would I even like him?!"
His mentor had stopped listening though, as he decided to fall asleep. Jeez, what is wrong with this man?
Atsushi sighed as returned to his desk.
A few weeks later, the Agency has another joint mission. To no one's surprise, it was Atsushi and Akutagawa!
Before Atsushi left, Dazai gave him a very encouraging pep talk.
"I believe in you Atsushi-kun! Just remember, if you make a mistake, there's a chance that Akutagawa will all have our heads! Except for me, of course. I know everything about him. I trained him after all~"
Yep. Very encouraging.
So now Atsushi is standing next to Akutagawa, shaking from anxiety. Thank goodness Akutagawa is blinder than a bat and didn't see; that would be embarrassing.
The weretiger sighed. Now or never.
"Akutagawa-"
"Okay Shin Soukoku~ You are go to enter~" Dazai's voice echoed through the communicator. Damn, it's like he's trying to make it harder for the already struggling Atsushi.
Wordlessly, Akutagawa swiftly made his way into the enemy base, not even looking back at the white-haired man. Atsushi let out another sigh before heading in after the Rashoumon-user.
They'd dodged all the guards and were now in a very secluded area, so it's the perfect time to pitch the question, right?
"Um, I was wondering if-"
A black tendril of cloth came up and covered his mouth. Akutagawa stared at him in a scolding manner.
"Jinko!" he whisper-shouted. "Be quiet!"
Atsushi tried very hard to hide the way his shoulders sunk in disappointment.
The weretiger found yet another chance about thirty minutes later, while Akutagawa was uploading the base's data to the memory stick.
"Say, Akutagawa, would you uhm, maybe- maybe wanna-"
"Watch out!"
Akutagawa threw himself in front of Atsushi, activating his devoured space to shield them from the incoming fire. Once Atsushi regained his bearings, he leapt forward and disarmed the soldiers.
"Are you alright?" the Rashoumon user asked, staring at Atsushi with what seemed like...worry?
"Oh, yeah."
"Were you going to say something earlier?"
"Oh, that? Nah."
"..."
"Dammit, why can't they just get together?!" Chuuya sulked, staring at the footage on Dazai's phone. The brunette playfully poked the ginger's nose, a smile on his face.
"We both know that's not how it works, Chuuya."
Atsushi was just about convinced that the universe hated him, or that perhaps him and Akutagawa were never meant to be, because all his chances were ruined and gone!
They finished the mission smoothly, to no one's surprise (again), and Atsushi was internally cursing himself for not telling the black-haired man. Why was he so stupid?
He sighed, staring at the setting sun. "Welp, I best be going." He turned to the way of the Agency, about to leave, when something grabbed his arm. His first instinct was to throw the thing to the moon but relaxed when he saw it was Akutagawa.
"Uh, Jinko... before you go.."
Akutagawa looked up at him, his expression unreadable. What is happening?!
"Meet me at the port next week. This time. If you're late I will kill you."
With that, Akutagawa released Atsushi from his grip, turning and walking away. Meanwhile, Atsushi stood in utter shock. Why would Akutagawa want to meet him at the port next week? Another mission?
Oh God, is he asking him out on a date?!
"Finally. I can't believe it was Akutagawa that initiated. I really thought it would be Atsushi," Chuuya mumbled, throwing another piece of popcorn into his mouth.
"Don't they remind you so much of us, chibi?" Dazai asked excitedly, expecting a quick denial, but-
"Yeah. They do."
Dazai's heart melted at the sight of Chuuya's soft smile.