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Being in a coma, Max decides, fucking sucks.
Even being able to see her half-dead self on the hospital bed every day sucks. Because yeah, she's alive, but she's half dead.
She can see and hear. That's it.
And yeah, hearing Lucas's voice every day as he reads to her is the greatest sound she's ever heard, but the steady beeping of the heart monitor next to her? Not it.
Max knows she's alive, and she wishes the machine wasn't the only piece of tangible proof that she is.
"Hey, MadMax."
Max sits up straighter. Or at least she tries to. Obviously she doesn't, but every time she hears Lucas's voice she perks up. This is the one good part of her day, and she wishes it could last forever. Sometimes Lucas stays the night, and those nights are the easiest to bear. When there's the feeling of him being next to her even as he's asleep and her mind is still alive. She lets her not-physical body rest next to Lucas at night, wishing he could feel it when she held his hand.
"I got an A on my math test today. 97. I know you'd be proud of me, especially considering that math is your subject and not mine. But, I don't know, I guess I'm really putting myself out there for you now. Oh, I forgot to mention this too! I managed to knock Dustin down in Dig Dug again. Obviously you can get a higher score than me, but I figured beating Dustin is good enough."
Max smiles as much as she can hearing Lucas talk and ramble about nothing and everything, as if she didn't just hear him do the exact same thing yesterday, and the day before, and every single day since her mind's been stuck in this limbo. Part of her wishes she was still in the hallway with Chrissy, but she knows she would rather be here than anywhere else in this instant.
"I guess I should pick up where we left off with The Outsiders, huh?" Max faintly hears the sound of a backpack unzipping from her blocked view, and smiles as Lucas begins reading to her.
She closes her eyes and lets herself enjoy the soothing sounds of the voice of the boy she loves, while letting the story and its message resound deep within her.
The door opens while Lucas is narrating the drive-in movie scene, and the all too familiar voice of Steve Harrington rings out.
"Hey, little sis." He drops in the chair opposite of Lucas across from Max's bed, and Max is suddenly glad for her inability to cry while in an out of body experience. "By the way, when you wake up, kid, I'm calling you my little sister. Nothing will stop me, not even your threats about having a good lawyer. Sinclair," Steve greets.
"Hey, Steve." Lucas sounds a little confused. "Where's Dustin? And Robin?"
Steve laughs. "Dustin is at the movies with Will, and Robin is having another awkward interaction somewhere, probably."
Max does the best she can at rolling her eyes, and listens through Steve and Lucas's conversation before Steve leaves to pick up Dustin and Will.
"Bye, little sis," Steve says softly before standing up and kissing her forehead softly.
Lucas is silent until the door closes, and sighs. "We can go to the movies soon, Max. You still owe me a Friday night."
I know, Max tries to scream.
By the time all her casts are off and the doctor tells Lucas that Max will be able to walk again if she manages to get through physical therapy, Max is ready to wake up.
She doesn't know why her body is refusing to let her wake up, and it is annoying the hell out of her.
El has been trying to find her in The Void, and for some reason it hasn't been working. Max's subconscious is alive and she knows it more than anyone out there, but she can't seem to find El.
It's frustrating on both ends.
The Party, Joyce, Hopper, and Max's mother all squeeze into her tiny hospital room one day as they wish her a happy fifteenth birthday.
I have not been in limbo for five months, Max thinks, hoping El can hear.
She can't, but the obnoxious blasting of The Bangles' new album Different Light (El may be mildly obsessed with Manic Monday now) might be worth it.
Lucas stays the night to continue talking to her about everything and nothing. Somehow this is the greatest birthday gift of all.
"Max..." Lucas says softly one day after finishing The Handmaid's Tale. His hand is wrapped around hers as usual, but the tinge of melancholy in his voice stops ghost-Max from putting a hand on his shoulder. "I know you're fighting in there. I know it feels like there's nothing left for you here. But I'm here. Steve's here. Dustin's here. Mike and El and Will and Nancy and Robin and everyone are here. We're all waiting."
Max knows he throws in the rest of their friends in to make her feel better, but she's fully aware of the fact that only Lucas and Steve visit more than once a week. Everyone else is too busy with their lives, and while Max wants to scream at them, she doesn't blame them. She doesn't think she would have the patience to wait for herself either, much less visit every day (Lucas, cough cough).
El comes in once a week to change out the flowers on Max's nightstand (this week they're dahlias) and try to find her in the Void. Somehow her subconscious can't be found, and it frustrates both El and ghost-Max to no end. Mike comes when he and Dustin aren't too busy with Hellfire, and Will and Joyce visit twice a month to deliver new paintings.
(Max's favorite artwork is still the drawing of the movie date she promised.)
"You can go if you want, MadMax."
The statement makes Max freeze in her thought process. She can huh?
Lucas speaks again, voice breaking. "I understand that you want to fight for your friends, fight for us, fight for yourself, but if it's too hard and you're ready to let go...I won't blame you. If you're ready to leave, you can leave."
Max suddenly realizes in this moment that she has a choice. And holy shit, is this why she's been like this for God knows how long?
"I know what I want doesn't matter. I want us to go on that movie date and be happy again, but if it's easier to just go, you can. I want you to do what's easiest for you. Find Eddie and Chrissy and Patrick, if that's what you're ready to do."
Max closes her eyes, trying to figure out what she wants to do.
"And...you told me you weren't ready to die. That you didn't want to go. And I know you weren't. But if that's what's best for you, I'll be with you until the end. I hope you know that, Max. Listen, I never told you this out loud, but I thought it so many times to myself, and I don't want to force you to stay. But I love you, Max. I really do. So much. And I want you to stay with me so you can say it back. Just please, Max, make a choice. Don't keep going back and forth for us. If you want to leave, feel free to."
In that moment, Max makes her decision.
Her vision stutters as she takes in the sad walls surrounding her and the pressure on her left hand. Max grunts lightly, and looks over in hopes of seeing a sleeping Lucas (who's gotten rid of that blocky haircut, thank God), and then realizes.
She's blind. Vision is impaired, everything is black.
Max lets out a choked cry in response.
Lucas immediately sits up, the chair creaking as he does. "Max. Holy shit, you're-" He frantically slaps the call button and places his free hand delicately on her cheek. "Oh God, you're awake."
"I can't see," Max says softly, trying to cover up the panic she feels.
"I know, MadMax. Vecna...he was too strong. Surgery managed to fix your eyes, but not the vision. You might be able to see silhouettes, but...that's it."
Max fights the urge to sob. "What if I forget what you look like?" She reaches out to find his face, glad she touches it on the first try.
"You won't forget how I feel or sound like. I promise. I'm there with you til the end," Lucas promises, leaning into her touch.
"How are we going to cash in the movie date like this?" Max asks.
"Well," Lucas gets up to squeeze into the hospital bed with Max, and she easily picks up on the behavior as she scoots over. "I was thinking we could watch it. I could narrate to you what's happening. You'll make me buy popcorn for you and end up only eating two pieces before I eat the rest. And maybe we'll hold hands?"
Max smiles, blinking away a tear. "I like that idea."
"Friday night?" Lucas asks.
"When's Friday?"
Lucas nudges her shoulder. "In five days. But don't worry, I can be patient. After all, I didn't wait ten months in this hospital room for nothing."
Ten months.
He waited ten months.
"I love you," Max whispers.
Lucas laughs. "I love you too, MadMax."