Chapter Text
"You may call me... Gundham Tanaka! Remember it well, for it is the name that will one day rule this world!"
Hands poised in the air as if ready to deal a blow, face focused in an expression of pure determination, and an aura of chuunibyo surrounding him, the strange man yelled his introduction.
You felt extremely out of your depth. reasonably, anyone in your situation would-- you stood in an airport on an island you didn't remember travelling to. You woke up hours ago, surrounded by other people around your age-- just out of high school-- with a collective sense of amnesia about how you all had gotten there.
Attempting to familiarize yourself with the other inhabitants of the island had, so far, yielded little-- Nagito Komaeda was the Ultimate Lucky student, and seemed to be lacksidasical about the entire situation. Where you were panicked and afraid, he was calm and relaxed. It almost annoyed you how little self-preservation he had-- but with his luck, it seemed he figured it would all work itself out. Kazuichi Soda, the Ultimate Mechanic, seemed to be similarly carefree, if not for a bit of stupidity rather than carelessness. Hajime Hinata was apprehensive, but still closely guarded... and to be honest, a little bland. He didn't even know what his ultimate talent was. You were eager to find someone who took things more seriously-- and somehow surmised that the one in the long, black coat and purple scarf may have a good head on their shoulders.
Ever since you woke up on this island, met a strange cast of characters (including an odd little two-tone rabbit) and were told that you were here for the school trip of a lifetime, it felt as if you were given all questions and no answers. Gundham Tanaka did very little to provide any answers. It seemed as if you were zero for three in the "sensible person" category.
"Um.." You weren't quite sure how to respond. What was there to say, after such a bombastic introduction? "Nice to meet you, Gundham."
"Hehehe." He folded his arms and chuckled to himself, seemingly entertained by you. "Others may call your courage to approach me foolishness. I, however, welcome it. Now, then, it is my turn to ask questions. Whose master are you?"
You blink. "Sorry?"
Gundham's face turns intense, and he whips an arm around to make his purple scarf tail flutter. "Which tribe did you make your pact with? Answer me!"
His personality is pretty "out there", and that's putting it lightly. Who does this guy think he is? "Sorry," You repeat. "I don't really get what you mean."
Swinging his bandaged arm toward you at high speed, he points an accusatory finger. "Answer me," He bellows, "Now! Though I shall cast you into a watery grave once you do!"
"Wait-- that doesn't make any sense--"
"Your impudent disrespect is wearisome," He swishes his coat as if it were a cape. "You wouldn't be so reckless as to approach the Ultimate Breeder and Supreme Overlord of Ice without having a sire of your own, would you?!"
This dude is a real mystery. Tribe... master... breeder... of animals? "Do you mean... do I have a pet?" You take a wild guess at what he could possibly mean. "Uh, no. I don't really have any pets."
"Hah! Your Magical Essence is completely nonexistent, in that case." He waves his hand flippantly, as if swatting at a fly. "Mere trash."
You're taken aback, brow furrowing. "T-trash? For not having a pet?"
"Is it so wrong to call trash 'trash'?" He leans towards you, his hands on his hips, before raising one of his arms and clenching his fingers into a tight fist. "Trash as lowly as you should not dare to speak as one as grand as me!"
Now he was calling you trash?! What kind of an asshole was this guy? You are already disoriented from this whole situation, and Gundham's random spewing of nonsense does little to assuage you. Now that he was just being a dick, you feel your ears burn and brow furrow. You are about to lay into him, opening your mouth to let loose an onslaught of rage--
And suddenly, the third or fourth most surprising thing to happen to you today occurs. From the neck of his scarf, the collar of his coat, and the arms of his sleeves emerge four little hamsters. They scamper across his body and come to sit on his shoulders, atop is head-- one even ran up his arm and perched on top of his hand. Gundham seems to pay them no mind, simply integrating them into part of his look as he continues to berate you.
"Do you know who I am?" He guffaws, the fat orange hamster on his shoulder bouncing along with his laughter. "I am Gundham Tanaka! Supreme Overlord of Ice!"
Like magic, your mood completely flips. Any anger you could have felt toward him was sapped out of your body at the sight of the four docile little creatures. They were admittedly very adorable-- small and chubby, furry and sweet-- maybe a guy who had such cute-looking pets wasn't all that bad. It would likely incite another powerful reaction, but you can't help but ask. "Those hamsters-- I assume you're their master?" Maybe speaking to him on his level would help him warm up to you.
It honestly surprises you that you even considered the idea of wanting to get along with him. He called you trash, and wouldn't stop yelling-- but there was a quality to him that you didn't want to leave alone. Maybe you just wanted to see more of his hamsters.
"My Four Dark Devas of Destruction," He smiles-- well, it's more like a well-practiced smirk. "Are merely lending these temporary forms to me. If you were to see their true appearance, your mortal mind would collapse from the shock!"
"True... forms?" Oh yeah, there's no doubt about it. This guy has a terminal case of chuunibyo. That seems to explain a lot of his attitude-- a misguided attempt to feel special rather than any kind of real malice. That does give him a little bit of a pass for his actions, at least in your mind.
"Yes-- Cham-P, Maga-Z, Jum-P, and San-D are my most trusted servants of the underworld. For their time in this world, they shall remain as hamsters-- but be warned! They can still be deadly."
"Well," You say, struggling to turn this conversation into territory you understand. "Their current forms are very cute. That one look's like it's about to fall asleep." You point to one resting in the wrap of his scarf.
Folding his arms, he chuckles to himself. "Taming evil by using myself as a bed... truly, this is the secret art of the Tanaka Empire! One of my Dark Devas, Jum-P, has this to say:" He lifts his chin and looks down on you. His single gray and single red eye look down on you accusingly as he recites, "We're not used to going easy on our enemies... so don't make us angry. You wouldn't like us when we're angry."
Picking a hamster at random to address, you look at the one with a chipped ear resting on his shoulder. "I'll do my best to not bother you, Jum-P." You try to say politely.
"Fool, that is Maga-Z!" He growls. "That one is Jum-P!" He points to the gray and white hamster perched on the back of his hand.
"Ah--" You frantically wave your hands in apology. "Sorry, Jum-P." It strikes you how embarrassing this situation is-- left listening to this guy's spiel, and apologizing to a hamster-- and a redness spreads across your cheeks.
Gundham's mouth quirks in a smile. "Fuahaha..." Once again, his shoulders quake. He throws his head back and chortles. It even looks like his hamsters are joining in, squeaking in chorus with their master. There's no doubt about it-- he's laughing at you. Your face burns a bit more at the fact that someone like him thinks that you're being ridiculous. "Fuahahahahahaha! Your ineptitude is entertaining, mortal."
"Yeah, well, I'm not a Supreme Overlord of Frost or whatever like you." You mutter, unable to help but snark a little bit.
"Supreme Overlord of Ice," He corrects you bluntly. "And I should not expect the expertise of a Lord of the Underworld to be present in a lowly creature such as yourself. I am the star member of my institution's Breeding Club, creator of proliferations of endangered species, and a communicator with every living animal on this plane of existence!"z
You think he may just be bluffing on that last one, but you don't push it. "I see." You respond. "That's impressive."
"Impressive is an understatement, but you are wise to show reverence where it is due." A smug look crosses his face. You take it he enjoyed the compliment. "I tend to look favorably upon those who know their place in the food chain."
"We're all stuck here together." You shrug. "May as well get to know one another better. So... I'll be seeing you and your Dark Devas around more, I guess."
Something flits across his face when you say that. A moment where his hairless brows are not furrowed, and his cheeks are not completely pale. But as soon as it happens, it is gone, and he shouts at the top of his lungs once more. "You'd risk death to approach me again?! I pity your ignorance. But your respect towards my Devas an I has earned you another day to live. May our paths cross again, insolent mortal, and I may show you grace once more." He throws his scarf over his shoulder and turns on his heel before you can get another word in. He didn't even ask you your name.
You watch him walk away as his hamsters scamper back to hide in his clothing. Normally, in your typical life, you never would have interacted with someone like him. But this isn't your typical life anymore. Getting along with everyone is your best bet to making it through this school trip unscathed. No matter how strange this guy might seem, nothing good will come from making an enemy out of him. Thought tactless and a bit rude, he's not really that bad of a person.
Gundham Tanaka is... interesting, you decide. He's interesting. And you genuinely meant what you said-- you would like to see him again.